


Street of Dreams

by chochowilliams



Series: I Want Us To Be A Family [1]
Category: Gravitation
Genre: Angst, Drama, Family, Fantasy, Hermaphrodites, Hurt/Comfort, Language, M/M, Male Slash, Original Characters - Freeform, Romance, Sexual Situations, Shouta, alternative universe, m-preg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-26
Updated: 2012-12-07
Packaged: 2017-11-19 15:16:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 102,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/574703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chochowilliams/pseuds/chochowilliams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What was supposed to be a one-night stand, changes their lives forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One Night with the Man with the Angelic Face

**Author's Note:**

> Street of Dreams  
> I Want Us To Be A Family Series
> 
> Written by: chochowilliams
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
> 
> Summary: What was supposed to be a one-night stand, changes their lives forever.
> 
> Warning: AU, Shouta, Angst, Drama, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Family, Fantasy, M-Preg, Language, M/M, Hentai, OCs, OOC, Hermaphrodites (referred to as “Neutrals”)
> 
> Pairings: Shuichi/Eiri, Shuichi/Taki, Shuichi/OMC, Ryuichi/Tatsuha, one-sided Eiri/Ayaka
> 
> Inserts: “Street of Dreams” by Rainbow, “Rage Beat” by Bad Luck
> 
> A/N: Originally, there were 26 chapters, including the prologue and the epilogue, but this story has since been edited and condensed into 10 chapters. The sequel is called, Still Raining. Check the A/N at the end for an additional note. Enjoy!

* * *

_And you were standing by my side_   
_I’ve seen your face before tonight_   
_Maybe I just see what I want it to be_   
_I know it’s a mystery to me_

_Do you remember me_   
_On the street of dreams_   
_Running through my memory_   
_On the street of dreams_

_There you stood a distant memory_   
_So good like we never parted_   
_Said to myself I knew you’d set me free_   
_And here we are right back where we started_   
_Something’s come over me_   
_And I don’t know what to feel_   
_Maybe this fantasy is real_   
_Now I know I see what I want it to be_   
_But it’s still a mystery_

- **“Street of Dreams” by Rainbow**

 

* * *

 

**Chapter 1: One Night with the Man with the Angelic Face**

**Western Bar -- Kyoto, Japan**

Doubled over the sink, his hands gripping the stained porcelain so tightly his knuckles were white, staring at his pale reflection in the bathroom mirror, stood Shuichi Shindou; unseeing amethyst eyes stared back. A trembling hand released its death grip on the sink to press against his belly that was churning something fierce. When he started to feel as if he was slowly being boiled alive from the inside out and saliva and bile started to fill his mouth like leaky water, Shuichi dropped his head down and breathed in deeply through his nose and exhaled slowly through his mouth. In and out. In and out. In and-

“Oh, God,” he moaned.

The teenager threw a hand over his mouth and raced into the nearest stall. Falling to his knees, he emptied his stomach of everything he ate that day. When he was left dry heaving, Shuichi spit into the toilet and flushed it. Shaking, he stood up and walked unsteadily back to the sink. Turning on the faucet, he splashed water onto his face and rinsed his mouth out.

He was patting his face dry when the door to the bathroom opened.

“Hey, Shuichi, almost done?”

Shuichi glanced over his shoulder at his best friend. Even though Hiro was the same age as Shuichi, sixteen years old, and had been playing the guitar for only four or five years, he was already in the same league as Jimi Hendrix, Eddie Van Halen, BB King, Stevie Ray Vaughan and so many other extraordinary musicians, or so Shuichi thought. Hiro wailed and made his guitar sing like no other person Shuichi ever heard. Hiro could do things with his guitar that professional rock stars could only dream of. Add his genius book smarts and his gorgeous good looks into the mix and Hiroshi Nakano was the most sought after man in Kyoto.

Hiro's long red hair was tied back at the nape of his neck. With a black and white bandana was tied around his head, he had chosen to wear a pair of black leather pants, black boots and a tight black sleeveless shirt. A white leather belt with silver studs cinched his waist and a matching cuff was snapped around his wrist.

“Yeah,” Shuichi said as he crumbled the paper towel and tossed it into the garbage can.

Hiro studied him closely.

Shuichi’s spiky pink hair was beginning to show its black roots. A pink and white bandana was tied around his forehead. Under a hot pink leather trail duster, he was wearing tight white leather pants and a plain white T-shirt. A white belt cinched his narrow waist and white boots peeked out from the hem of his pants legs. Behind him on the windowsill was a cowboy hat his older half brother bought for him during his last trip to the US.

Shuichi’s brother was also a singer. In fact, his brother was none other than Ryuichi Sakuma lead singer of Nittle Grasper, which was one of the country's hottest JPOP/JROCK bands. Nittle Grasper had decided to take advantage of their steadily rising fame outside of Japan and had embarked on a long months long tour.

But as much as Shuichi loved, admired and respected his brother, there was one aspect of the man Shuichi had never been able to accept and that was the fact that he never saw his brother except for on television.

“Hey,” Hiro called out gently. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Shuichi told him firmly. He walked to the ledge under the window and reached inside his backpack.

“Shuichi,” Hiro sighed as he watched his friend. He knew Shuichi better than Shuichi knew himself and could always tell when there was something bothering him. Right now, there was something weighing heavily on the young singer's mind.

Shuichi ignored his friend and concentrated on reapplying his makeup.

It was clear that Hiro was worried about him, but he didn’t have to be. Shuichi really was fine; he hadn’t been lying. It was just a little pre-performance jitters is all, which was nothing unusual. The same thing happened before every performance. Though, he had to admit, it seemed a little worse this time in comparison, but that could be chalked up to the higher stakes that surrounded this particular performance. Tonight’s gig was no ordinary gig. It was, in fact, a contest. Bad Luck was up against two other bands and the winner got one-hundred-thousand yen. What they do with that money!

And, also, he missed Ryuichi. His brother acted as a buffer between him and the rest of their family, including their parents, but with Ryuichi out of the country, life for Shuichi was…difficult, to say the least.

Their younger sister, Maiko, was a brain and tended to spend most of her free time at her zillion and one after school activities. Lately, she has been spending a lot of time with some guy she met on her last school trip.

Mom was trying desperately to keep her family together--at least, that was what Ryuichi claimed. “She’s trying her best,” he would say. Shuichi would always retort back, “She needs to try harder.” For years, their mother went around acting as if nothing was wrong. In fact, she still did.

Then there was his father.

Shuichi told everyone that it didn’t bother him that his father hated the ground he walked on and for the most part, it was true, because he had Ryuichi. His brother took care of him. Ryuichi did what his father did, could or would not. Ryuichi was the one who took him to games, played catch with him, and took him to the temple to pray. Ryuichi was the one who answered all his questions and told him what he was. Ryuichi was the only stable thing in Shuichi's life. Ryuichi never lied to him; he told him the god's honest truth, even if it hurt. When his brother was around all was right with the world, but when he was gone, the silence came crashing down and it killed bits of Shuichi every time. Ryuichi was more of a father than his father had ever been.

It was no secret that Shuichi hated his father with a passion. Hate was a strong word and should not be used lightly, but it was the only word that came close to the feelings that the man conjured up in Shuichi whenever Shuichi thought about the man.

When Maiko was born, their father was so overjoyed. He had a child! A perfectly, healthy, normal baby girl. He glowed, smiled, and laughed. Mr. Shindou was so glad to be blessed finally with a child! He showed Maiko off to everyone; everyone coddled her and praised him and his wife. It was if Shuichi did not even exist. He was nothing but a freak, a mutation of nature that just happened to live in the Shindou household. Ryuichi was not even that man’s son, but he thought of Ryuichi more his son than his actual flesh and blood son, even though he did not approve of his stepson’s career choice. When Ryuichi was around, Mr. Shindou showed even less affection to Shuichi, if that was even possible.

The pressure and stress of his very existence was starting to get to Shuichi. He had to find a way to make things better, find a way to escape from reality and the suicidal thoughts that continually plagued him. That was where music came in.

At a very young age, Shuichi taught himself how to play the piano from watching Tohma when he, Ryuichi and Noriko practiced. Then when he met Hiro, the two of them started jamming together, nothing serious, just a way to pass the time, but it helped. Shuichi could lose himself in the music the two of them made together. Then when they were introduced to Suguru one day when he came with Tohma to practice, the three of them jammed and the rest was history. What was done at first in fun became serious and Shuichi could lose himself even more into it. Bad Luck quickly became his life. Writing songs, helping Suguru with the music arrangements, helping Hiro find new gigs, new bars and clubs to play at, new contests they could enter to get their names out there.

Recently, though, it hasn’t been enough. The crowds, the lights, the music...it was not the same. It became like medicine that did not work anymore because the body had built up a tolerance against it. He needed to find something else to help him escape reality.

And he did, in the form of Kizou.

The guy had walked into the bathroom after one of Bad Luck's shows the year prior at some club with whom he would later learn was his bodyguard, Yutoshi. While Yutoshi looked all “badass” in black leather pants, biker boots and jacket, tight black shirt and dark wraparound shades, Kizou looked as if he had just stepped out of a board meeting.

_“You look like you could use some cheering up,”_ was what Kizou had told him with a toothy grin. He’d reached into his suit jacket and pulled out an orange prescription bottle that was half-filled with little round white pills. _“This one's on the house,”_ he’d said as he handed them to him.

Yutoshi had been the one to answer when Shuichi asked what the pills were, _“Something to turn your frown upside down,”_ all the while chuckling as if he were the only one in on some joke.

Before leaving, Kizou had handed him a business card and told him to call if he needed anything, anything at all.

At first, Shuichi had been reluctant to take the pills. He had no idea what they were or what they would do. And he had no idea who that guy was that had given them to him. His first impulse had been to throw them into the nearest trashcan, but for some reason they ended up in his backpack instead where he forgot about them. That was until his father once again refused to come once again to one of his shows.

_“Singing is not a job. It is not a career. You cannot pay the bills by singing and prancing around on stage like a whore. You cannot support a wife and children,”_ was what his father would always say when Shuichi asked him to come to his show.

Shuichi had been tempted to tell the staunch ass wipe that he did not tend to ever have a wife and that he would rather “prance around on stage like a whore” than dress in a five-piece suit and work nine hour days in some office building where the AC was on so high it felt like you standing naked in a blizzard for nothing but pocket change. However, he’d kept his tongue and instead, he tried begging the man. Of course, it didn’t work. It never did.

He’d been so upset, he’d raced crying up to his bedroom and started tossing things into an overnight bag, intending to spend the weekend at his brother’s place.

Then his bag had fallen over. When he went to pick it, something fell out and rolled under his bed. What he’d discovered after crawling under the bed after it was the orange prescription pill bottle that he‘d been given by Kizou all those weeks ago. Remembering these pills were supposed turn his frown upside down, he popped the cap and swallowed a handful of the small, round white pills. Instantly, it did not matter anymore what his father thought.

“Hey, guys, Mad Doggs are on their last song,” said a young voice from behind them, snapping Shuichi back to reality. “Ready?”

“Hey, Suguru,” Hiro greeted his friend distracted.

Shuichi glanced at his young keyboard player's reflection in the mirror as he finished applying his eyeliner. Capping the stick, he tossed it into his makeup bag and then zipping the small bag, tossed it into his backpack. Shouldering his bag, he reached besides him and popped his hat on his head. Turning around, he studied Suguru. “Looking good, Sug.”

“Ya think so?” Suguru turned around, his hands out from his body. He was wearing a pair of Shuichi's white leather pants and his own white cotton turtleneck under a black leather vest that used to belong to his cousin.

“Sexy,” Shuichi confirmed. “If ya were a few years older, I'd do ya,” he said with a sly blink

Suguru blushed.

Chuckling, Shuichi patted the kid on the shoulder as he passed him. “You're bound to break a few hearts, Suguru.”

The fourteen-year-old blushed deeper.

Hiro watched his best friend silently. Shuichi was putting on a brave front, acting as if nothing was wrong, but Hiro was not stupid or easily distracted. “Shuichi,” he called.

“I'm going to go warm up,” the singer said as he felt the bathroom.

Hiro sighed heavily.

Suguru stared at the vanishing singer than at a dejected Hiro. “What's wrong?”

Shaking his head, Hiro said truthfully, “I wish I knew.”

 

* * *

 

Shuichi strode with long strides down the back gloomy hall to the back door. Pushing the heavy door open, he stepped out into the garbage-strewn alleyway. Slipping his bag off his shoulder, he reached inside, riffling among all the crap until he found the bottle of pills. Popping off the lid, he shook several into his hand and swallowed them dry.  
Closing his eyes, Shuichi leaned his head against the side of the building. Immediately, he felt the tension he hadn’t realized was there slide away. The fine trembling along his body stilled. Opening his eyes, he stared at the graffiti strewn building inches from his face with a growing smile.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed away from the wall, shouldered his bag and went back inside the bar. A chuckle was bubbling to life in his throat and he had a skip in his step. He suddenly felt as if he could do anything.

“Bad Luck you're on,” came the call from near the stage.

Shuichi met his band mates at the door to the bathroom, grinning and giggling. “Let's do this, guys!”

“Yeah,” Suguru echoed. “Let's win this battle.”

Hiro smiled halfheartedly and followed his friends onto the stage. He studied his friend as the man walked up the microphone. Hiro picked up his guitar, waiting for his cue, wondering what had happened to change his friend in such a short period.

Shuichi smiled out at the cheering crowd. “Good evening! We're Bad Luck and we're going to rock you!”

The crowd cheered, clapped and whistled in response.

Grinning at his friends, Shuichi then turned back to the crowd. This was what it was all about. This was what he loved. Yes, he could do this. He would show them all. He would win.

 

* * *

 

**It won’t stop anywhere**   
**ignore the unfulfilled emotions and get over them**   
**In the trembling world of shyness**   
**aim for the escape route**   
**towards the place I’ll arrive at**   
**I want New World!**

Shuichi's voice faded and the song ended to thunderous applause. He grinned and laughed as he stepped away from the microphone. Hiro and Suguru joined him at the front of the stage. Holding hands, the trio bowed. The audience jumped to their feet, whistling and clapping. The boys bowed again, feeling elated. They exchanged big grins.

The MC jumped onto the stage with a microphone in his hand. Cain Asakura also ran the Western Bar, which was where the battle was taking place. They sponsored it every year. It was getting so big they were talking about moving it next year.

The Western Bar was just that, an imitation of any bar you would find on any street corner in the States. It was dark, gloomy, smelled of blood, piss, smoke and way too much testosterone. At the back of the rather large alcohol establishment--by the door that led to the back where the bathrooms, storage closets and the manager's office were--was supposed to be where the pool tables and dartboards were, but tonight it was where the makeshift stage had been set up. Standing on the stage looking out over the patrons, the bar was located along the right-hand wall. Normally the bar could hold about hundred-fifty people, but as Shuichi looked at the whooping crowd, it seemed like they had packed in twice as much.

“Let's hear it one more time for Bad Luck!”

If possible, the cheering grew louder. As he and his friends and band mates left the stage, Shuichi caught the man's wince. The singer chuckled. Riptyde and Mad Doggs were already waiting backstage when Shuichi and the others trooped back there to await the results.

Riptyde was a quartet rock band with a drummer, guitar player, bassist and lead vocalist. Their rock ballad, “Mega Heart”, had been beautifully written. The musical arrangement had been a little off, but otherwise fairly well orchestrated. The lead singer had a raspy voice but his range was amazing. It was said both of his parents were formally trained opera singers. The band’s only fault was that they were still a fairly new band and had yet to establish themselves, but it was clear they had a very bright future ahead of them.

Mad Doggs were similar in style and sound to Bad Luck, but nowhere as good. The trio, like Riptyde, was new onto the scene. Their song, “Wonderland”, was written by the keyboardist's father who taught poetry at a local University. The musical arrangement could use some fine-tuning and the lead singer was in desperate need of vocal lessons or should be fired all together. Not only had did he not know how to sing properly, but had been half a beat off the entire song. The man had also hogged the spotlight for himself. The band was going nowhere fast.

“Alright! Who will it be? Who will be the winners of the tenth annual Battle of the Bands? Will it be newcomers' Riptyde?”

The audience cheered politely. There were a few whistles and shouts.

“Or Mad Doggs?”

There was only polite applause this time.

“Or the reigning champions, Bad Luck,” Mr. Asakura shouted.

The place exploded into deafening shouts.

Shuichi found himself grinning so much it hurt. He clapped his hands and squealed and jumped up and down. His eyes were shining when he glanced at Hiro and Suguru.

“It seems we have a winner," Cain Asakura said with a chuckle.

There were more whistles and a few calls for Bad Luck that were soon picked up and became a full out chant. “Bad Luck! Bad Luck! Bad Luck!”

“Ladies and gentlemen! Here they are! The winner of the tenth annual Battle of the Bands, Western Bar is proud to present.. Bad Luck!”

The audience jumped to its feet. The sound was deafening. Nobody could hear themselves think. Shuichi shouted and flung himself at Hiro and Suguru. “We did it! We did it!”

“Congratulations, guys,” the lead singer of Mad Doggs said with a grin, holding out his hand.

Shuichi shook his hand and thanked him. The others exchanged congratulatories as Shuichi jumped onto the stage. Grinning like a madman, he threw his hands in the air and shouted. If at all possible, the audience fed off his energy and cheered louder. The teen walked over to the bar owner and took the hand offered.

“Congratulations!” Cain glanced over Shuichi's shoulder and waved the other members of Bad Luck over. “C'mon over boys!”

Hiro and Suguru rushed onto the stage. They bowed politely and shook hands with the MC.

“Congrats, guys! As the winner of the Battle,” he reached into his suit coat and pulled out a rectangular sheet of paper, “here is the check for the 100,000 yen.”

The audience clapped and whistled.

Hiro immediately took the check, thanking the man. He was the band's accountant and would deposit the check in the band's savings account. He kept a strict account of what went in and came out. If anyone took money out without his permission, he would know.

“But that's not all,” Cain Asakura continued.

Shuichi exchanged a confused look with Hiro and Suguru.

“Let me introduce you to Mr. Kiaki Matsusaki, president of L8r Records!”

A man who looked to be in his mid-fifties stood up from the front row of seats and made his way onto the stage to shocked applause. The members of Bad Luck were astonished, to say the least. They exchanged confused, shocked looks. L8r Records was the record company that Nittle Grasper belonged to. It was one of the biggest labels in the country. What was going on?

“Mr. Matsusaki?” The bar owner handed the older gentlemen a microphone.

“Thank you, Mr. Asakura. First, I would like to thank Mr. Asakura and the Western Bar for the warm welcome and say what a wonderful job they're doing.” There was polite applause. “Next, I would like to congratulate all of the bands. They were wonderful!” Again, the audience clapped. “And finally, I would like to extend a special congratulation to Bad Luck.”

Shuichi, Hiro and Suguru bowed and thanked the man.

“And as the uncontested winners of the Battle, three years in a row, I would like to offer you a recording contract to L8r Records.”

The place erupted into stunned whispers that gradually turned to thunderous applause once the realization set in, but Shuichi and the other members of Bad Luck stood stunned, unable to take it all in. Shuichi stared at his brother's boss blankly. He did not hear what he thought he had, right? This was a joke or a dream perhaps? That had to be it.

“Are you serious?”

“Of course! What do you say?”

“What do I...?” Shuichi blinked. “I say...” A huge grinned replaced the confused expression. “...hell yes,” he cried. He shouted and flung himself at Hiro and Suguru. Their dream of making it big was one-step closer to being a reality!

 

* * *

 

“There ya go,” Shuichi smiled at a young girl that could not be that much older than he was and handed her the napkin and black maker.

The girl squealed and hugged the autograph to her chest. “Thank you!”

Shuichi chuckled. As he turned toward the next person, a figure at the back of the bar caught his attention. His brow twitched briefly in recognition before the man vanished out the front door. Who...?

“Hey, Shu,” called Hiro, as he signed an older woman's shirt. “Are you all right?”

“Huh?” Shuichi blinked and turned toward his best friend. “Oh, yeah. I'm fine.”

He turned and smiled at a young man who handed him a pen and a notebook. Shuichi was surprised to find so many well-known names scribbled in it. As he added his own, his thoughts turned back to the man he had seen for only a second. Who had he been? Why had he seemed so familiar? Was it because he reminded him of another blond? No, Shuichi was sure that wasn’t it. Maybe he saw him at previous concerts. That was certainly a possibility. Many of the same people showed up no matter where Bad Luck played. As he turned to autograph a girl's jean clad behind, his thoughts continued to take him back to that mysterious man he had seen for only a second.

 

* * *

 

Hidden in the shadows of the bar, a trio watched the teens with huge smiles on their faces.

“Didn't I tell you, Tohma? Aren't they great?” a man hidden under a baseball cap asked just loud enough to be heard above the loud din.

“You did Ryu.”

“And?” the woman standing next to him prodded with a hand over her swollen stomach.

“And we should get outta here while we still can,” Tohma told his friends.

“What?” Ryuichi whined. “No! Tohma! I want to see Shu-Shu! I haven't seen him in almost six months! Why-?”

“Ryu,” Tohma sighed. “If we get recognized, it could start a panic.”

“Yeah, Ryu. This is Bad Luck's night.”

“Noriko is right, Ryu. Now let’s go. You can see your brother tomorrow.”

“Besides, he isn't expecting us to arrive until tomorrow night anyway. He might have made plans,” Noriko told her old friend.

Ryuichi Sakuma sighed in defeat and followed the others out of the bar to a waiting car. He knew they were right. It Didn’t mean he had to like it though.

As he slid into the back of the black limo with its tinted windows, Ryuichi glanced one last time at the bar. He could barely make out his Shu-Shu in the middle of all that mayhem, smiling and laughing. Ryuichi smiled at the scene proudly before getting into the car and vanishing into the night.

 

* * *

 

A tall, pale, foreign looking man walked confidently down the street that was not so surprisingly deserted at the late hour. He pulled his hat down lower over his face and turned the collar up on his leather jacket. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he pulled out his car keys and pressed the button on the small remote. A small beep that sounded unnaturally loud in the silence of the night echoed down the street and seconds later, the Mercedes purred to life.

Opening his car door, he paused before sliding in and glanced down the street at the bar with a smile and a shake of his head.

The kid was good, he had to admit and got even better every time he saw him, not to mention cuter. God was the kid unbelievably sexy. He found himself growing even more attracted to the kid each time he saw him. He just wished he had the nerve to walk up to him like every other damn fan, but that was not his style. Besides, the last thing he needed was for it to come out that he, Eiri Yuki, was spotted at a pop concert, a sixteen-year-old boy's pop concert. God, would the media have a field day with that. He did not know what would be worse. The fact that it was a pop concert, the person he had a serious crush on was a boy or the fact that this boy was six years his junior.

As an all too familiar car drove past, Eiri turned his head away, hiding in the shadows. If he was spotted, they would not let him live it down. They would be worse then the media.

Sliding into his car, he put his seat belt on and drove off to his apartment, thinking about a certain pink haired pop star.

 

* * *

 

It was nearing midnight when Shuichi walked through the park. There was a cool breeze blowing off the river. It was nature's answer for the sweltering summer day they had.

Walking over to the railing, Shuichi gripped the cool, damp metal and closed his eyes. Taking a deep breath, the singer hung his head back and let the gentle breeze finger his hair. Sighing, he lifted his head and leaning his cheek on his crossed arms, gazed out over the silent black water.

The bar had rapidly thinned out, leaving behind only the usual bar hoppers that had no interest in their eclectic sound. After, once again, congratulating their battle rival, both Riptyde and Mad Doggs left, claiming they had early classes.

Soon after, Hiro also flaked out. His brother Yuji was flying into town in the morning for a photo shoot and Hiro had to pick him up from the airport. Yuji was an up and coming model and the only family Hiro had left. Both Mr. and Mrs. Nakano were killed in an automobile accident several years ago. Neither had siblings and their parents passed away by the time Hiro entered middle school. Shuichi felt somewhat bad for his friend. His parents may hate his guts, but at least they were alive. When he brought this up to Hiro one day, the boy said, “You, Suguru, Ryu, Tohma, Noriko...You're all my family.”

Suguru also bowed out from celebrating as well. He had early classes as well. Besides, his mother was a worrywart and was likely to call the police if her “baby boy” was out too long.

So here he was once again alone strolling through a deserted park in the middle of the night.

After banging his forehead against his hands, Shuichi pushed away from the railing and strolled over to lie on a bench. Closing his eyes, he placed his hat over his eyes and folded his arms under his head.

He could always go home. The thought made him laugh. Home? What was that? His so-called “father” pretended he did not exist. Mom was beginning to distance herself. Neither one cared what he did, where he went, whom he hung out with nor how late or long he stayed away. Hell, they did not even care if he came home. Shuichi knew his father would rejoice if he never stepped foot in his house ever again. Mr. Shindou believed that music was a pointless and useless art, yet he did not care if his son wasted his life on it. He did not try to play the guilt trip like he did whenever Ryuichi was there, trying to get him to get a decent job that would “put food on the table”. His father did not seem to care that Shuichi had not gone to school in the two years since he flunked his first semester of his first year of middle school.

Shuichi lifted his hat off and set it on his chest, staring up at the night sky that should be teaming with stars but was not because of all the city lights. He soon found himself giggling. He still couldn’t believe Bad Luck's fortune. After two years of playing whatever gig they could get at seedy bars, birthdays, anniversaries, talent shows and battle of the bands contests, two years of pushing themselves to be the best, it finally paid off. Shuichi chuckled, grinning happily.

Tomorrow evening, after Hiro and Suguru got out of school, they were to go to L8r Records headquarters and go over their contract. Hiro said he would ask Yuji to come with them and since Nittle Grasper returned home from their world tour sometime that afternoon, Shuichi would see if his brother could come with them. They had to, of course, get their parent's permission, but that would not be a problem for any of them.

Maybe now that emptiness he felt inside would disappear. One could only hope.

 

* * *

 

Eiri had gone back to his apartment after the Battle of the Bands with the intention of going straight to bed, but after spending an hour tossing and turning, he gave up on getting any sleep. Throwing on a pair of pants and a shirt he found on the floor, he decided to go for a stroll through the park not too far from his apartment. It was one of the only things that seemed to clear his head.

He had a meeting with his agent in the morning to submit his latest novel and try to reschedule some interview she set up--without his knowledge--because apparently, his father had some stupid family dinner planned.

With his hands stuffed in the pockets of his leather jacket, Eiri huddled against the breeze blowing off the river. His hands closed around his pack of cigarettes just as he spotted a tiny figure huddled on a bench up ahead. Normally, he would have just ignored the vagrant and moved on, but for some reason he found himself being drawn to this person like a magnet. As he crept closer, he realized it was a kid. What was a kid doing sleeping out in the park in the middle of the night? As he took in the small frame and the cowboy hat, Eiri's eyes widened. Could it be…? His pulse started racing. Standing besides the bench, he picked up the cowboy hat, his hands shaking in anticipation and gasped.

 

* * *

 

The phone continued to ring as Ryuichi's irritation grew into concern. “C'mon,” he whispered as he paced the bedroom restlessly.

The figure on the bed stirred. A hand reached out from under the covers and patted the empty mattress besides it. With a sigh, the pillow covering the head that belonged to that hand was thrown aside to reveal a head of black hair. Flipping over, displaying himself unconsciously, he watched his lover walk from the closet to the bedroom door and back again. The silk bathrobe he wore flew out around him. “Ryu, honey, come back to bed.”

Ryuichi shook his head. “In a minute, Tatsuha.”

Tatsuha Uesugi sighed. “Who're you calling?” He checked the clock on the bedside table. “It's after midnight.”

“Shu.” Groaning, he flipped his phone closed and bit his lip. “He isn't answering.”

“So?”

“’So'?” Ryuichi walked back to the bed and slumped down on the edge of the mattress, staring at the silver palm-sized cellphone in his hand. Where was he? What was he doing that he could not pick up his phone? “Tat-“

“Ryu, didn't you tell me his band won that battle tonight?” At his boyfriend’s nod, he said, “Well, then, he's probably out partying or something.”

“But-”

“Or, maybe he forgot to turn his phone back on after the concert. I do that all the time. Besides, you'll see him in the morning.”

“But, Tatsu-”

The slightly younger man growled and pulled his lover down, straddling him and pinning all in a matter of an eye blink. “Stop worrying about Shu, alright? He's a big boy and can take care of himself. All right? Don't worry so much.”

Ryuichi sighed in defeat. He had not seen his baby Shu-shu in more than six months, what was one more day?

Tatsuha, knowing a win when he saw it, laced their fingers together and rolled his hips with practiced ease. Tatsuha bit back a groan as Ryuichi arched off the bed and tossed his head back with a loud cry. Tatsuha licked his lips and whispered in Ryuichi's ear, “You know, you're going to have to be punished for waking me up in the middle of the night.”

Ryuichi licked his dry lips and stared into those dark eyes, becoming lost within them. “Whatever you want, Tatsuha. Whatever you want.”

 

* * *

 

The angelic face mere inches from his rendered Eiri speechless. He was unable to form a coherent thought. Even if he could, he would not be able to express that thought over his rapidly beating heart. All he could do was stare at the face that launched a thousand ships and a body that would haunt even a straight man’s dreams.

Shuichi's amethyst eyes fluttered open. The first thing he saw was a man peering down at him. A sudden deluge of thoughts and fears rushed through him. Swallowing a scream, he jumped to his feet, hitting his head against the guy's chin in the process. He hissed and rubbed his head. Turning around to apologize, he saw his hat clutched in the man's hand. He reached out and yanked it back tentatively, his eyes never leaving the strangers face. “W-who're you? What do you want?”

“How about apologizing for smacking me in the face, first?” Eiri retorted, rubbing his sore chin, snapping out of his retrieve.

The teen opened his mouth automatically to do just that, but realized he had no reason to. “If you hadn't of had your face in mine, I wouldn't of knocked into you!”

With a glare, Eiri realized the kid was right, but the hell he was going to apologize. Instead, trying to ignore the rapid beating of his heart, the quickness of his breath and the sweet strawberry scent that wafted from the boy, he plopped himself down on the bench where just moments ago, his secret crush had been sleeping. “Fine,” he finally said. “Tell me why a sixteen-year-old is sleeping on a park bench.”

Shuichi placed his hat on his head and crossed his arms, looking this guy up and down. “What does it matter to you?” He blinked, realizing what he just said. “Wait. How did you know I was sixteen?” he asked suspiciously.

Eiri silently cursed himself. Idiot, he thought. “Lucky guess,” was what came out of his mouth. He sounded bored. Dammit! What was wrong with him? Here he was, chatting it up with his crush. Here was his chance to tell the kid how he felt. Maybe they could go get a drink together or something, but no! He had to act as if he did not give a good goddamn. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the kid checking him out. A smug smile tilted the corner of his mouth and a slight blush tinted his face. He thanked the Maker for the fact that it was dark outside.

Who was this guy and what does he want, Shuichi asked himself. Whoever this guy was, he was definitely older than he was, in his twenties at least. He had a day's growth of stubble on his face that gave him that rugged look. The guy was taller by at least a foot, but then again, who wasn't? Light brown eyes that seemed to have a golden sheen to them twitched slightly as they stared out over the water. It was almost as if he was fighting not to look at him. A shock of dirty blond hair tumbled out from under a white hat that seemed to glow in the lamp light. He was wearing a rumbled white suit and a black shirt that matched the ribbon on the hat. Shuichi had to admit, the guy looked damned hot.

Eiri was beginning to feel self-consciousness with the kid staring at him like that. Clearing his throat, he leaned his head against the back of the bench and stretched his arms out on either side of him and crossed his ankles before him.

Shuichi continued to study the stranger. There was something about him that he could not quite put a finger on. It felt as if he knew this guy from somewhere. His heart was suddenly racing as those intense hazel eyes turned to stare back at him. Shuichi gulped audibly.

“What?” Eiri demanded.

“I, uh...Do I know you?”

Eiri raised an eyebrow in amusement. “Are you trying to pick me up?”

A warm blush colored Shuichi's face. Biting his lip to keep his smile hidden, the teen turned his reddened face away. “No,” he whispered with a simple shake of his head.

Eiri did not believe him as far as he could throw him.

“I, uh...It's just that...you look familiar.” His blush deepened.

Eiri's heart skipped a beat. Had Shuichi realized that for the past year, he had been at every single one of his shows? That that foreign looking guy at the bar was him? Please, God, I hope not. The last thing Eiri needed was to die of embarrassment. He would never admit to doing such a thing. Not out loud at least. But how else could this kid think he had seen him somewhere before? If Shuichi knew his brother than that would be one answer, but that was impossible. So, what...?

“I'm a writer,” he blurted out. Yeah, that could work. He was always on television and in the newspaper, magazines, and such all the time.

Shuichi straightened. “Really?” He sat down besides the man, a sparkle in his eyes. “So am I,” he confessed in excitement.

“Really,” he asked in disbelief. “What could a sixteen-year-old write?”

“Songs! I'm a singer and I write all the songs for my band,” he said, bouncing up and down on the bench.

Eiri blinked at that revelation. That surprised him. Shuichi wrote them all? Wow. He had to admit, the kid was good. It was not easy to write songs. Anyone could put down a bunch of words on a piece of paper and call it a song, or poem, or whatever, but it took real talent to make those words into something special and it was obvious this kid had that natural ability. “You wrote those songs?” As soon as the words left his mouth, he mentally cursed himself.

Shuichi blinked. “Have you been to one of my concerts?” he asked, cocking his head to the side.

The writer turned to look at the kid and found his heart melting. Before he could stop himself, he found himself telling him the truth. “A few.”

“Really?” Shuichi's face brightened. “What did you think?”

Eiri shrugged. “Not bad, for a bunch of bratty kids.”

The smile slipped off Shuichi's face, his happiness deflating like a balloon. To him that meant, they were not good enough. Tears formed in his eyes. He wanted to be the best in the music business. He wanted to supersede his brother! But if this guy's opinion was shared by everyone else…

Eiri felt like a heel. Dammit, he cursed. “I was kidding,” he snorted. “Jeeze, take everything seriously why don't you?”

The smile reappeared, as if it had always been there. Shuichi's tears vanished. He squealed and clapped, throwing himself at the strange writer and hugging him tightly. “You mean it? Yea!”

A deep blush flushed the writer's face.

“So,” Shuichi said, letting the man go. He sat back down besides him, bouncing as if he was on a sugar high. “Tell me. What do you write?”

“Suspense thrillers. However, in some circles, they are referred to as being part of the ‘romance’ variety.”

Shuichi cocked his head to the side. Confusion etched his cute features. “Romance? Why?”

Eiri shrugged. “Beats me. I guess because most of my books have an underlining--romance angle.”

“Huh?”

Chuckling, Eiri thought of a way to explain it a little more clearly. “For example, my latest book is about a serial killer who brutally tortured seven women before killing them. Then he just disappeared. He returns some years later and this woman is determined to find him. Along the way, she meets and collaborates up with this guy. They have an affair as they struggle to solve the case. Get it?”

“Ah! Like J.D. Robb! My mom and my sister read her books!”

Eiri chuckled. “I really don’t mind what they’re categorized as as long as people are out there buying my books; I really could care less.”

“Are you any good?”

Eiri shrugged. “I seem to be. My novels always make the top ten best sellers list.”

“Really? That's so cool!”

Eiri studied his lithe singer. He always thought it was just for the stage, but this kid was as high strung as a helium balloon. This kid could not sit still for more than five seconds at a time. That might not be a bad thing, he thought. He could think of one thing where that would be very useful.

Shuichi had changed out of the outfit he’d worn at the battle of the bands into a loose pair of low waisted tan khakis and a tight red half shirt under a white button down shirt that seemed to be a few sizes too large with the sleeves rolled up past his elbows. He was wearing fingerless red gloves and had a black bag strapped across his back.

“Tell me something.”

“What?”

“Why are you out here in the middle of the night?”

Shuichi's face fell. He stared at his hands clasped between his knees. To his horror, he felt genuine tears in his eyes. He had been having such a good time with this guy that he totally forgotten about everything else.

Eiri felt his chest tighten as he watched a mask of depression and unhappiness slip onto Shuichi's face. That look did not suit the boy. Why was he so upset all of a sudden? Was it something he said? What could possibly make someone who was always so happy, so sad? “What's wrong?”

Shuichi shook his head. “My dad,” he cried. Sniffing, he wiped at the tears that tickled down his face. “My dad...He...”

Almost of its own violation, Eiri's hand lightly brushed through the younger man's bright pink hair that felt so soft despite all the dye, hair gel and hairspray and whatnot he must use in it. He studied his downed, saddened face. “What,” he prodded gently. “You and your dad don't get along?” He snorted. “I know that feeling. My father wants me to be someone I'm not.”

“Really?” Shuichi looked up at the writer with large pleading, tear filled eyes.

Eiri nodded. “That's when I moved out. I can't be something I'm not, ya know?” He shrugged.

Shuichi nodded. He felt a little better, knowing that he was not alone. “My dad...He hates me.” The tears flowed faster down his face.

Eiri could not believe that to be the truth, maybe an exaggeration, but how could a parent truly despise their child? “I'm sure that's not true.” He reached out with his other hand and gently brushed his fingers across the boy's wet cheek. “I can't imagine anyone thinking that about you,” he whispered huskily.

“It is,” Shuichi protested. “I'm just a freak, a mutation, a waste of flesh...,” he sobbed. “My brother was more of a father to me than Dad ever was! He ignores me like I'm not even there!” Great sobs racked his body, making him shudder. His face was red and wet from all the crying. “My father...he doesn't care what I do! I could show up dead as a doornail on his doorstep and he wouldn't care!”

Eiri had to fight the tears and the sob that threatened to show themselves. He also had to fight the desire to show this bastard of a father that his son was not a monster, but a gift from God. Maybe he could do that and at the same time, show Shuichi that he was loved.

Eiri's hand slipped from the boy's cottony soft hair to his upper thigh and gave it a squeeze.

Shuichi froze. He turned a tear soaked face to the stranger besides him.

“I don't think of you as a freak, Shuichi,” Eiri whispered in the boy's ear. He smirked when Shuichi shivered. He squeezed the boy's thigh again and stroked it ever so slowly. “Let me show you. Let's show your dad what an asshole he is, how wrong he is. That you are loved.”

Shuichi gulped painfully. “H-how?”

Eiri cupped the boy's chin and tilted his head back. He leaned forward and pressed their lips together. He pulled back enough to whisper, “Like this.”

The singer's mind went blank. His eyes widened as a strange guy he had not even known before today kissed him.

Eiri lifted the cowboy hat from the boy's head and holding it over the back of the bench let it drop to the grassy knoll. Moaning against the soft lips, he slid his hand up Shuichi's neck and grabbed a fistful of his hair. He ignored the startled gasp when he jerked the boy's head back. His other hand slid between Shuichi's legs and cupped the throbbing heat between them.

Shuichi’s gasp turned into a long, throaty moan as his hips thrust almost of their own volition into the hand that was cupping him. He slid his arms around the writer's shoulders and opened his mouth as teeth nipped at his bottom lip, silently asking for permission. He caressed the long, soft, wet object that snaked into his mouth with his tongue, shivering at the sensation. He let this man explore his mouth, loving the feeling of his tongue as it brushed around his mouth.

It started with a soft press and pull of lips, a gentle nip of teeth and lap of tongue, but then as both men felt the strong pull of lust that was making their arousals grow, they ate hungrily at one another's mouth. Shuichi felt jolts and shivers travel through his body as the large hand squeezed his hardening dick.

Reluctantly, Eiri pulled away. A thrill of satisfaction swept through him when the singer moaned in disappointment. Panting and with his heart racing, the author got to his feet and pulled Shuichi with him. “C'mon, before I forget myself and fuck you right here,” he growled.

Amethyst eyes, heavy lidded and veiled with unhidden desire and lust fluttered open. “You do know I'm only sixteen,” Shuichi whispered huskily as he tried to bring himself down from his lofty height.

“It's after midnight and I'm as horny as hell,” Eiri growled, tugging Shuichi behind him. “I really don't care.”

Shuichi licked his lips and allowed this strange man to drag him down the bike path to the parking lot. He had a flitting thought to let this guy know that he was a Neutral, but let it go. He did not want to take the chance that his revelation might spoil the mood. He was hard as a rock, horny as hell and he damn well was going to get laid. Besides, there was something about this guy, something Shuichi could not put a finger on, something that tugged at something deep within him.

 

* * *

 

Less than twenty minutes later, Shuichi found himself making out with a stranger in an elevator car as it made its way to the top floor of the hotel at an agonizingly slow pace.

The writer had the singer up against the elevator wall with his feet spread to keep himself and the fully aroused younger male who was strapped around his waist from falling over.

Shuichi's small fingers combed through the soft golden locks. Vaguely, he realized he lost his hat somewhere along the way.

Eiri's hand roamed up and down Shuichi's sides under the huge button up shirt. He pressed his too tight white slacks into Shuichi's swollen groin, rolling and flexing his hips, which earned him more erotic cries from his young lover. His lips pulled and licked at the swollen ones. When the mouth opened willingly, almost pleadingly, Eiri attacked it. He sucked and lapped at the boy's mouth, nearly growling. Shuichi was like a drug. He could not get enough, could not delve deep enough into the warm, wet cavern.

Distantly, they heard the ping, announcing they had arrived on their floor. Eiri walked out of the elevator and down the hall with Shuichi still hanging onto him. He groped the singer's behind with one hand as the other gripped his neck. Their tongues wrestled. Their lips and teeth abused each other.

Reluctantly, Eiri broke away, panting, as he stopped before the hotel room he reserved for the night. Shuichi attacked his older lover's neck, squeezing his legs around the man's waist. Eiri groaned, squeezing the boy's ass cheeks, arching himself into the bulge poking into him. Fumbling in the pocket of his pants, Eiri pulled out the key card as Shuichi trailed kisses along his jaw and neck. Blindly, he reached out and swiped the card in the slot, then turned the handle. Renewing his conquest of the boy's mouth, he walked into the room. The card fell unnoticed onto the floor. He kicked the door shut behind him and carried Shuichi towards the bed.

He dropped the boy onto the bed and stared down at him ravenously while he tore his suit coat off. He dropped it to the floor, then tugged off his shirt, and tossed it aside as well.

Shuichi pushed himself back onto the bed, licking his lips, as he slid out of the over shirt and then the tight half shirt. He watched the writer unbutton his white slacks with a hungry gleam in his eyes.

Eiri pushed his pants down and stepped out of them, flinging the hindering things across the room with his toe. He knelt on the edge of the bed and stared at his young lover with the same hungry, lustful glint on his face as the boy laid back and undid his khakis.

Shuichi rose his butt off the bed and slid his pants, along with his boxers, off. He tossed them over the side of the bed, not caring where they ended up.

Eiri licked his lips in anticipation as he gazed down at the wonderful sight before him as Shuichi propped himself up on his elbows, his knees bent and legs spread, displaying himself in all his fine glory. He took in the slightly toned chest and flat abs, the long slender legs and the engorged member standing at attention between them. His breath hitched at the sight.

Shuichi stared at the drop-dead gorgeous male before him. His heart, which was beating a rapid tattoo, matched his throbbing dick. He panted heavily as his gaze traveled down the slim, hairless body to the large penis that was already weeping. His gaze traveled back up his body to the face that was hard and intense with a look he had seen countless times before. A look that said, “You're mine.” A look of confidence, of surety that he knew exactly how this night would turn out. A look that usually scared Shuichi, but it was different this time. He could not explain it, but being with this guy, or the promise of being with him, was not like anything he had ever experienced. In a way, it scared him, but on the other hand, he welcomed it eagerly.

Feeling the need to play the part of the enticing vixen, Shuichi lay back on the bed and opened his legs wider.

Growling, Eiri dropped onto the bed and crawled up the singer's body on hands and knees between the parted legs. He felt suddenly like Moses in the parting of the Red Sea. He leaned down and feigned a kiss.

“Tease,” Shuichi whispered as Eiri pulled away.

Chuckling, Eiri attacked the boy's lips. He sucked and probed his mouth and tweaked his pert nipples. Shuichi moaned into Eiri's mouth and arched into the touch, as shivers jolted down his body.

That was the last straw for Eiri. Just hearing this kid's moans, muffled cries and feeling him shiver with need and lust underneath him was pushing him over the edge. He slid his body against Shuichi's, pushing himself against him. Their throbbing erections tangled in an erotic dance. Both men shivered, throwing their heads back with a cry and thrust their hips together again and again.

In a breathy voice, Shuichi whispered, “Do it! God! Do it!”

With a growl, Eiri sat back on his knees and lifted the boy’s narrow hips. He pulled the boy none too gently towards him. Grabbing his own throbbing, member, he set it against Shuichi's opening and with a flex of his hips, rammed himself into his young lover until his balls slapped against his behind.

Shuichi arched off the bed and threw his head back, screaming as a jolt of pain raced like lightening up his spine. He clawed at the quilt beneath him. He clamped down around the large invader inside of him. Tears of pain trickled down his face.

Eiri cried out, thrusting deeper into his lover in response. Panting heavily, he paused and glanced down at the boy, watching as he shifted himself to get comfortable and the pain receded. “Are you okay?” he panted heavily.

Shuichi nodded, panting, as he wrapped his legs around Eiri's waist. “Yes,” he said breathlessly.

“Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you.” Neither did he want to stop. They had come too far to turn back. Maybe he should have prepped the boy, but he was too impatient to do that.

“You won't,” Shuichi assured with a shake of his head. “Trust me.”

Wondering what Shuichi meant by that, he took him at his word and pulled out slowly until the tip of him was barely inside. He gazed fully in Shuichi's face, pinning him to the mattress just as he was pinned to the bed. Letting go of the tiny man's lithe hips, he set his hands on the bed on either side of Shuichi's head, in a push-up motion and thrust into him, causing his young lover to cry out. He pushed himself inside as fast and hard as he could. Shuichi screamed but did not tell him to stop so Eiri did not. He continued his thrusts, using his impatience and eagerness. He buried himself deeper and deeper within his lover; pushing himself in as far as he could go. Soon, the room was filled with a rapidly creaking bed, loud vocal cries and the sharp slap of flesh on flesh.

Unconsciously, Shuichi's hands grabbed his cock and began pumping himself in time to his lover's frenzied thrusts.

Muscles tightened as warmth spread through both males. With one final thrust, Eiri climaxed, releasing his seed as he buried himself deeply within his lithe lover and let out a deep cry, echoed by another as legs tightened around his waist and a white spray enveloped them both.

With a sigh, Shuichi dropped his legs onto the bed, panting heavily. He took great gulps of air and tried to calm his rapidly beating heart. He felt as if he had been de-boned. His arms unable to support him, Eiri collapsed onto the bed with a sigh, drenched in sweat and just out of breath as his lover. Closing his eyes, he smiled to himself, allowing himself to bask in the afterglow.

Chuckling, Shuichi rolled over and draped his shaking, sweaty body over the older male. His arms encircled the writer's head as he pressed their lips together. Eiri opened his eyes as his arms encircled Shuichi's waist. Pulling away, Shuichi gazed down tenderly at the writer. Something clicked into place the instant their eyes met. In unison, they brought their lips together. Shuichi tilted his head and opened his mouth without his lover having to ask. Gently, with just a light press of lips, they kissed. Eiri's hand slipped up the boy's slick back and cupped the nape of his neck, holding him against him.

Shuichi was not sure what had changed. Their first time was fast and demanding. As Eiri flipped them over, reigning soft kisses down Shuichi's neck, the boy knew this time would be different and he welcomed it.

He wished he could stay in this man's arms forever.

 

* * *

 

When Shuichi woke the next morning, it was to a throbbing ache between his legs and sore jaw muscles. He hissed in pain as he sat up. When the pain subsided, he sighed in relief. Wiping the sleep from his eyes, he yawned deeply and stretched. Shaking his head, he blinked his eyes wide and glanced around, taking in the hotel room for the first time.

It was a decent sized room with a large bed, matching nightstands, dresser and a two-seater table in front of a large window. A narrow door behind the table Shuichi guessed was a closet. Directly across from the bed was a door that was partially closed. From what he could see, a small bathroom lay behind it.

He glanced besides him with a smile than instantly vanished when he realized he was alone in the large bed. Sighing heavily, he flopped backwards onto the mattress and stared up at the ceiling. A heavy weight settled on his chest at the thought of his lover up and disappearing in the middle of the night without saying so much as a goodbye, but he had known this would happen. Somewhere deep within his subconscious, he had known this was only a one night only event. It still hurt though.

A smile crept onto his face and a laugh bubbled up inside of him. What was that saying? It was better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. That certainly applied right now. Even if he never saw that guy again, Shuichi knew he would never forget the one night of wonderful passion. Besides, he could not wait to see the look on his dear old dad's face when he told the old fart where he had been all night.

He glanced back at the empty spot besides him and blinked, his smile slipping off a second time. Pushing himself up onto his elbows, he reached out and lifted a shinny object lying on the pillow. Sitting up all the way, he held the object in his hand, studying it in confusion. It was a ring, a solid silver band.

“What in the…?”

He blinked as a thought struck him. Could this be…?

 

* * *

 

At the corner, a tall man with blond hair looked back at the hotel even as he was jostled by the mid-morning rush.

He felt bad for up and leaving Shuichi like he had, but he needed time to think. Things were moving too fast. One minute, he was fawning over the boy and the next he was making love to him. It seemed surreal, like it had all been a dream. Then there was that look he had seen on the singer's face. Only in his fantasies had Eiri dreamed that his crush would look at him like that. Shuichi had not even known Eiri existed before last night, but the kid seemed to have developed some sort of feelings for him, or so he hoped. It was possible, because Shuichi was so young, that what the boy felt was not love, at least not the same kind of love that Eiri felt. It could just be a crush, or puppy love, not something that could blossom and bloom as the years go by.

Nowadays, people change lovers like they do underwear. There was no such thing as happily ever after and the thought that what Shuichi felt for him may fade and die like flowers in the spring really hurt.

As much as he loved Shuichi and wanted to be with him, he was not sure he could take the pain of being rejected, not after his mother dumped him and his siblings. Therefore, he had to think. He had to separate himself from the pink haired pop god and give them both time to breathe and sort things out.

He just hoped Shuichi did not hate him or think badly of him for leaving as he had. The last thing he wanted was a one-night stand. He did not just want a warm body to fuck and he certainly hoped Shuichi did not want that either. It would break Eiri's heart if that were the case.

Sighing, he ran his thumb over his middle finger unconsciously. When he felt no resistance, he blinked and looked down at his left hand. It took him a couple seconds for comprehension to dawn. The corner of his lips tilted into the beginning of a smile.

“We will meet again,” he promised as he glanced at the hotel one last time. Shoving his hands in his suit coat, he looked both ways and raced across the street, vanishing into the thick crowd.

 

**…To Be Continued…**


	2. Saying Goodbye

**Chapter 2: Saying Goodbye**

By the time Shuichi made it back “home”, it was nearly three o'clock in the afternoon, which gave him three and a half hours until the meeting with Mr. Matsusaki at L8r Records.

Shuichi stood on the front stoop, staring blankly at the front door, unable to get his feet to carry him any further, not that he could not blame them. The less interaction he had with the house the better. That neither of his parents nor Maiko would be home yet was hardly the point. The house held too many painful memories for him. He felt suffocated with the boundaries of the house.

Unfortunately, he did not have much choice unless he wanted to negotiate a recording contract in last night’s clothing.

Fighting the urge to pop a handful of pills Kizou provided for a little added courage, Shuichi steeled himself to enter the lions’ den.

 

* * *

 

Unnoticed by the pink haired sixteen year old, a silver Trailblazer pulled up in front of the Shindou house. Silence reigned upon the neighborhood as its engines were cut. Out of the SUV stepped two men. The first stood at nearly six-feet tall with unruly dark hair and eyes, wearing jeans and a black shirt. His passenger stood on the other side of the truck smiling. This man, who was no more than five-foot-four, had a black Stetson over brown shoulder length hair. His sparkling brown eyes were hidden behind dark sunglasses, but his small toned body was shown off by his tight jeans and white shirt. Together, the two men watched the boy on the front porch.

Ryuichi felt like a heavy weight had been lifted when he saw Shuichi. Tatsuha thought he was an idiot, and had no qualms with saying so on a regular basis, for worrying about Shuichi so much, but Ryuichi did not care. So he was a tad overprotective of his baby Shu-Shu. So what? Someone had to be.

A frown crossed the older singer's face as he took in the wrinkled, rumbled clothes and disheveled hair. Was Shuichi just getting home? Just where had he been all night? Rounding the car, he laid a hand on Tatsuha's arm and strode towards the house. “Shuichi,” he called softly.

The teen gasped and jumped, obviously startled. Spinning around, a hand over his racing heart, Shuichi stared blankly at the man before him. “Ryu?” he breathed as if he could not believe his eyes.

Ryuichi stepped towards Shuichi with a grin. “Hey.”

Tears blurring his vision, Shuichi flung himself at his brother with a sob. “I'm so glad your home!”

Ryuichi hugged Shuichi tightly as the boy clung to him. “Me, too, Shu-Shu. Me, too.” Ryuichi smiled at his boyfriend over his shoulder.

Tatsuha smiled back, elated at the sight before him.

“Ya know,” Ryuichi said to the human leech wrapped around his waist. “I saw your concert last night and I thought you guys were great.”

Shuichi lifted a tear and snot covered face with a gasp so swiftly at that it was a wonder he did not develop whiplash. He stared at his brother wide eyes. “What? You did?”

Grinning, Ryuichi nodded, feeling a renewed surge of pride for his baby Shu-Shu. “Yep! We took an earlier flight home just so we could come check you out. I even know you won that contract with L8r Records.” He pouted. “I wanted to come see you afterwards, but Tohma said it would be a bad idea.”

Shuichi giggled and wiped his face with the sleeve of his large button down shirt, shaking his head. “It's okay,” he admitted. Stepping back, he grinned happily at his brother. Suddenly he felt a lot better than he had mere moments ago. “So, you really thought we were good? What did you think of the song? Did you like it? Oh! And what about the Mad Doggs and that other band, whatever they were called? Did you like them? I thought they were okay, but-”

“You guys were the best band there hands down,” Ryuichi assured his brother.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Now, come on. Let's get you cleaned up. Tohma wants us to be at Club Bokki at four.”

Shuichi cocked his head, his brows drawn together in confusion. “Club Bokki? Isn't that-?”

“A gay nightclub, yes.” Ryuichi studied his brother closely. “And how would you know that?”

A reddish tint colored Shuichi's face. Clearing his throat, he turned his attention away from his older brother’s penetrating gaze. “Why does Tohma want to see us?” he asked, changing the subject.

Determined not to let the subject drop, Ryuichi filed it away for later and shrugged. “C'mon, Tatsu. I'll make some tea.” Ryuichi led them both to the house. “I have no idea why Tohma wants to see us,” he told Shuichi as he unlocked the front door. “All I know is that he called me this afternoon and said to ‘gather the troops'.”

As Shuichi chucked off his shoes and put on his house slippers, he asked his brother what that was supposed to mean. It made Tohma sound like a General.

“I'm assuming you, Hiro and Fujisaki, plus me and Noriko.”

“Why?” Tatsuha asked his boyfriend as he followed the man towards the kitchen. “You guys just got off tour last night. Couldn't he give you at least one day to rest before he calls a war council?”

“Who knows why Tohma does the things he does. We'll just have to wait and see.”

As Shuichi headed up the stairs towards the bathroom, he wondered what General Seguchi wanted and hoped that whatever it was, the man made it fast because Bad Luck had a meeting they had to get to.

 

* * *

 

After a shower and a fresh change of clothes, those being a pair of fitted black jeans, a short sleeved white silk button down shirt over a green T-shirt and his ankle boots, Shuichi found himself in the backseat of Tatsuha's silver SUV.

He was glad to be out of that house. That house was a vampire. It sucked the life and joy right out of you, but as soon as he stepped out that door that heavy, desolate feeling was gone, leaving only an unsettling feeling behind that quickly dissipated. It was no wonder most nights he arranged to sleep elsewhere.

Shuichi shifted his small shoulder bag and studied the profile of his brother’s boyfriend as they drove through the early evening traffic that clogged Kyoto. Tatsuha's dark hair and eyes momentarily were replaced with dark blond hair and golden eyes in Shuichi's mind. Tatsuha really did look like the gorgeous writer from last night. Maybe that was why the guy seemed so familiar, because he reminded him of Tatsuha. “Um, Tatsuha?” Shuichi asked the driver timidly.

Tatsuha stopped at a red light and glanced at the boy briefly before turning his attention to the stoplight. “What?”

“Um, do you…do you have a brother by chance?”

With a quirked eyebrow, Tatsuha studied Shuichi in the rearview mirror. The boy's face was pink and he avoided looking at him. He wondered. “Yeah, actually. I thought I told you about him.”

Ryuichi touched his lover's knees and pointed out the windshield. The light had change.

Tatsuha blasted through the intersection. “He's a romance writer of all things,” Tatsuha continued with a roll of his eyes.

Shuichi's eyes flashed in recognition. His heart started pounding in his chest. “Does he look like you?” he asked.

“Identical.”

“They're twins,” Ryuichi supplied. He turned in his seat as far as the seatbelt would let him. “Eiri's like the negative image of Tatsu, like the albino of the Uesugi clan. Just without the red eyes.”

Tatsuha slapped Ryuichi's arm and mock glared at him. Ryuichi laughed and looked innocently at his boyfriend.

“Eiri,” Shuichi repeated softly. He like the way it sounded. He could not help a blush that colored his face as he remembered the events of the night before. He wondered what the man was doing right now. Was he thinking about him?

“Yep. Blond hair, light eyes and pale skin. He smokes, drinks, is a fully trained monk, hates my father, stays locked in his apartment and writes trashy dime store novels that every female in the country eats up and is a cold bastard that would rather slit his own throat then show any sort of emotion to anyone.”

As they slowed down and Tatsuha pulled into an empty spot along the curb in front of the club, Shuichi could not stop a smile that lit his face as he thought about his lover. Eiri Uesugi. According to Tatsuha, the man was supposed to be cold, distance, and a recluse, but the Eiri he met the night before was very different from the Eiri Tatsuha was describing. The Eiri who had made sweet love to him last night had been sweet, gentle and kind. They stayed up all night making love and Eiri had been like an antique dealer going over a fine period piece. Shuichi felt like a princess whose prince had come to rescue her. He thought he was never again going to see the mysterious writer, who in one night seemed to have somehow stolen his heart, but if he was Tatsuha's brother, then maybe…

Wait a minute! Ryuichi said that Eiri and Tatsuha were twins, right? That meant that…

“Tatsuha?” Shuichi asked as the three of them walked through a red steel door and down a narrow, gloomy staircase. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-two, why?”

Shuichi stumbled, nearing falling down the stairs, but caught himself, saving himself from a dangerous drop. Twenty-two? He felt his heart drop. His face fell. “No reason,” he lied. Eiri was Tatsuha's twin brother which meant that the writer was also six years his senior.

Standing in the middle of the deserted gay nightclub, Tatsuha and Ryuichi glanced questioningly at each other then at the boy.

Shuichi looked like his puppy was just put to sleep. That was exactly how he felt, too. According to the law, he was still technically a minor and Eiri could get in big trouble if it became known that he slept with a “child that was unable to think clearly and make rational decisions for him/herself”. He did not want to get Eiri into any trouble. The writer was one of the nicest people Shuichi ever met. He was not all jumpy, hyperactive and overtly familiar like his fans. He was not cold and detached like his parents and even his younger sister. Eiri was not like his friends who seemed to either be overtly protective or put up with his crap just because they were friends. No, Eiri had treated him like a person, an actual to God person and Shuichi liked that.

Eiri's face popped into his mind. He remembered those strong, powerful hands touching him, caressing him with gentleness and expertise, those broad, muscular shoulders rising above him, the taste and smell of tobacco on his soft lips, the powerful thrust of his manhood as it slid into him. He could remember Eiri's deep guttural groans and cries as he climaxed.

Shuichi's breath hitched and tears filled his eyes.

He wanted to see Eiri again, wanted to feel safe within those strong arms as they wrapped around him and hugged him tightly. Just to be in the same room as him, to be enveloped in his musky cologne was enough, but it would never be. Their one night had to remain just that, one night; otherwise, Eiri would be arrested for statutory rape and Shuichi would never be able to forgive himself if that happened.

Ryuichi stepped forward and laid a hand on Shuichi’s shoulder, a frown on his face. “Shuichi?”

Shuichi jumped, startled out of his thoughts. “Huh?”

“Are you alright? Do you want to talk about it?”

The boy forced a smile onto his face and shuffled his thoughts aside. “I'm fine. Really.”

“Shu-”

“Excuse me,” Shuichi interrupted his brother, his voice tight. “I have to use the bathroom.”

Ryuichi was left to stare after his younger brother in confusion. “What…?” He glanced at Tatsuha in confusion. Something was definitely going on with that kid.

Tatsuha watched the pink haired boy vanish into the bathroom. He had a feeling he knew what was going on. If he was right, things could get a bit complicated.

 

* * *

 

Shuichi slammed into the bathroom and fled into the first stall he saw. Locking the door behind him, he sat on the toilet and pulled his tan bag onto his lap. He held off as long as he could, but these emotions were killing him! He needed the bad feelings to go away. He needed to be happy, to smile, and to laugh. He could not be all pouty, sad, and crying over a lost love. No, not today.

Panting heavily, he opened his bag with shaking hands and fumbled through all the crap he had until he found the orange prescription bottle. Sobbing, Shuichi fumbled with the cap. Forgetting he had to press it down and twist, he jerked at it, pulling and tugging. Irritated, Shuichi growled and banged the bottle against his leg. He used his nails and tried to pry the top off, but failed. He clutched the bottle tightly, his knuckles turning white and growled, sobbing in frustration. One last time, he tried to get the cap off, but could not. Gritting his teeth, he sobbed his impatience and annoyance.

“Goddamn piece of crap!”

He whipped the bottle into the stall door. It hit with a loud clatter and bounced off. Huffing, his hands fisted, Shuichi watched angrily as the pill bottle rattled to the floor and rolled out of the stall, vanishing from view.

Panting, his anger boiling, Shuichi glared at the spot where the bottle disappeared. As quickly as the temper tantrum appeared, it vanished. He was left feeling drained and exhausted.

Tears filled his eyes and his jaw trembled as a sob echoed in the red and black tiled bathroom. Dropping his head, he buried his face in his hands and sobbed. His small frame shook as he cried.

 

* * *

 

Shuichi had no idea how long he sat on the toilet bawling his eyes out like a baby. But by the time he was able to get hold of himself, he felt physically, mentally and emotionally drained. All he wanted to do was go home and sleep.

Unlocking the stall door, he walked over to the sinks and splashed some cold water onto his face. Gripping the edge of the sink, he hung his head and let the water drip off his face. He lifted his head and stared at his reflection. His eyes were puffy and bloodshot. His face was red and splotchy.

Sighing, he straightened, but jumped nearly out of his skin as a shotgun blast tore through the bathroom, startling him back to reality. A hand over a rapidly beating heart, Shuichi sighed deeply as the door to the bathroom swung open. A genuine smile brightened his face as a familiar head poked inside.

“Hey,” greeted the longhaired guitarist with a smile.

“Hey, Hiro,” Shuichi said as his gathered his wits. He pushed away from the sink and walked towards the paper towel dispenser on the wall.

Hiro pushed open the door and leaned against it, crossing his arms over his chest. “You okay?”

Turning his back to his friend, Shuichi's smile slipped, replaced by a frown as he tore some paper towels out of the wall mount. Patting his face dry, Shuichi forced a chuckle. “Ryu sent you, huh?”

“Yeah,” Hiro admitted, scratching his head. “He's worried about you.”

Shuichi nodded. “Well, he doesn't need to be. I'm fine.” Crumbling the paper towels, he tossed them in the trash and strode confidently out of the bathroom, a fake smile on his face. "C'mon! Let's go see what General Seguchi wants.”

Hiro watched his friend with a frown as he practically skipped out across the empty dance floor and up the center staircase towards one of the VIP rooms near the DJ booth. Pushing away from the door, the guitarist sighed. As he turned, something out of the corner of his eyes caught his attention. Curious, he walked into the bathroom and picked it up. It was a plain, orange prescription pill bottle. Hiro glanced at the closet bathroom door with a frown.

“What have you gotten yourself into, Shuichi?”

 

* * *

 

The study was shrouded in shadow. The shades were closed. The blackout curtains drawn. The sound of traffic and chatter filtered into the room from the open window. The air stank with the scent of stale cigarette smoke.

A wisp of smoke shot into the air and the butt was crushed out in the ashtray along with its brethren. The man then sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. Clasping his hands behind his head, he stretched out on the sofa in his study and stared blankly at the ceiling. The sudden shrill ringing of the phone erupted through the house. His gaze flicked to the extension on the desk, but otherwise he ignored it.

He had been an hour late to his meeting this morning with his agent and to say the least, Mizuki had been just a wee bit ticked. She quickly forgave him when he presented his latest novel to her, a week early. “Don't get used to it,” he’d warned. What she had not been too pleased about was his request to reschedule the interview he had for next weekend. “I'll see what I can do, Mr. Yuki, but I'm not promising anything,” she’d told him. Getting her to agree to reschedule the interview was easier than he thought it would be. Usually, she would lay a heavy guilt trip on him to try to get him to recant, but this time he was the one who plastered her with a thick guilt trip and then sprinkled just a little blackmail onto the mix. Seeing as he had not been consulted when she arranged the meeting in the first place, he figured she owed him.

Dropping his hands, Eiri sat up and swung his legs to the floor. He rubbed his hands over his face, dreading having to leave the relative coolness of the study.

When he’d returned from the meeting, he learned that his air conditioner had broken down. Instead of taking the ancient piece of crap in to be repaired, he decided to just toss it out and get a new one. A quick search on the internet and he had a new one that was going to be delivered and installed sometime tomorrow afternoon. Until then, he was hiding out in the study, which was the coolest room in the house. It would have been easier to just take his sorry, lazy ass to the store and purchase one. That way, he would have his blessed AC in a matter of hours instead of being forced to wait.

Standing up, he stepped out of his study and into the hallway. The humidity hit him like a slap upside the head. Eiri immediately started sweating. He swore it was cooler outside than it was inside his apartment. Maybe he should just look into moving. Preferably an apartment with central air.

As he walked into the kitchen, propping open the door on the way, he noticed the light on the answering machine was blinking. He pressed the play button as he veered straight to the fridge for a beer.

“You have one new message. Message one. Friday, July 1, two-forty-five pm,” the mechanical voice stated. There was a beep and a familiar voice filled the kitchen. “Hey, Yuki. I called Mr. Takabayashi and it's a no go. He said next Saturday at three-thirty or nothing. Give me a call. Bye.” There was another beep, then silence.

Eiri leaned against the counter and popped open the top of his beer. So he had to choose, huh? Either being thrown to the wolves or spend the evening with Satan. Hm. That was a hard decision. He took a long swig of his beer, deep in thought.

Mr. Yusuke Takabayashi was one of the most respected people in the business. Apparently, not just anybody was given the chance to sit down with him. He was “The Man”. Well, whoop-dee-freaking-doo. He felt so honored. You must excuse him if he did not leap for joy. Bad knees, you know. Eiri would prefer not to have this bozo pry into his affairs, but it was better than visiting his spawn of the devil father, whose only purpose in having a family dinner was to pester him about his so-called “responsibility to the family”. Meaning, finding a wife and producing an heir. Whatever. If his father wanted an heir so badly, he could produce his own.

A picture of a small, lithe boy with spiky pink hair and intense amethyst eye flashed through his mind. Shaking his head, Eiri pushed away from the counter and dumped his nearly untouched beer down the drain before exiting the kitchen. As he passed the phone, it rang. Again, he ignored it.

In his study, he grabbed his wallet, sunglasses and keys. The answering machine was just clicking on when he stepped into the hall.

“Eiri,” snapped a female voice. “Eiri, I know you're there! Pick up!”

Eiri snorted and slipped into his shoes by the front door. “Not in this lifetime,” he muttered.

“Fine, be that way, but Father wanted me to remind you about dinner next week. Six sharp. Be there.” The sound of buzzing filled the apartment before a beep was heard.

It really was a shame he would not be attending the prestigious family dinner. He would be, unfortunately, in Tokyo all weekend. Damn! And he had _so_ wanted to see and spend some time with his dear ol' father.

He, actually, had no plans of going to visit his father until he gave up on this marriage crap. This was his life and he was damn well going to live it the way he damn well wanted.

Eiri stormed out of the apartment, shutting and locking the door behind him.

 

* * *

 

Hiro had no idea why Tohma Seguchi decided to have this meeting with the members of Nittle Grasper and Bad Luck and in a gay nightclub of all places. There must be other, better, locations for a meeting.

He leaned against the wall and studied the others.

Tatsuha, who had driven both Ryuichi and Shuichi, had his arm around his boyfriend's shoulders. The two of them snuggled together on the couch, talking to a very pregnant Noriko who was sitting besides them. Suguru was sitting in one armchair and Shuichi was in the other--a vacant, far away look on his face as he stared blankly at the floor with a frown on his face. The man of the hour stood in the doorway of the private VIP room with a smile of his own on his face. The only person not present was Yuji. He was supposed to have come so they could go directly to L8r Records for their meetings, but unfortunately, his brother was not feeling well and had to bail out on the whole affair. Hiro only hoped that Ryuichi agreed to come otherwise they were screwed.

Tohma cleared his throat, calling them to attention. Immediately, silence descended upon the room and all eyes turned towards the small man in his black bowl hat. Hiro had always been in awe of the way Tohma could command an audience like that. “Thank you all for coming.”

“What's this about, Tohma?” Noriko asked her fellow keyboardist with a hand on her swollen stomach.

“Is this gonna take long?” Suguru asked his cousin. “Cause we have a meeting-”

“That's why I called you all here,” Tohma explained.

Hiro and Suguru exchanged mystified glances. Hiro turned towards Shuichi but the pink haired singer was still off in his own world. It appeared as if he were not even paying attention to anything going on around him. Hiro frowned and caught Suguru's questioning glance, who could only shrug in answer. Hiro had no idea what was wrong with his friend, but whatever it was, he had better snap out of it.

“That makes no sense, Tohma,” Ryuichi said, bringing the two boys back to the present.

“Patience, Ryu,” Tohma told his friend. He glanced around at the others, studying each one. “I'm sure you heard the rumors about the trouble L8r Records has been facing these past few months.”

While the others glanced at one another in confusion, Suguru searched his brain. He could remember hearing something about the record company, but he could not quite remember what. “Was it…Did it have something to do with…management, or something?” He scratched his head in confusion.

“Something like that.”

Apparently, the current L8r Records president staged a coup with the help of some key board members. But not all of the artists signed onto what had been the hottest record label in Japan at one point were satisfied with the change in leadership. So, one by one, L8r Records’ top artists all began to leave. Without the revenue of those big moneymakers, the record company began to sink faster than the Titanic. It was only with the help of Nittle Grasper, who decided to remain steadfastly loyal to the only record company that had decided to take a chance on a bunch of no name nobodies all of those years ago, that L8r Records had been able to stay afloat for as long as they have. But that did not stop the flood of other artists from jumping ship. To help the record company stay buoyant, Mr. Kiaki Matsusaki decided to hire some fresh new faces, but Tohma had had his doubts. Just bringing in some new blood was not going to help the record company. They needed more money than they had in order to produce these news artists. They would be spending more money then they were bringing in. If something did not change, L8r Records would close their doors for good in a matter of months and that was not something Tohma would allow. He, Ryuichi and Noriko worked too long and too hard to see it all circle the drain now. Yes, any record company would be ready and willing to take them on. Any demands they made would be granted just so that company could get them on their label, but that was not what Tohma wanted. No, he decided it was time for Nittle Grasper to break away and put their future in their own hands.

“All morning I was in a meeting with the various board members and investors and as of two-thirty this afternoon, L8r Records has officially become known as NG Productions, under the direct control of Nittle Grasper,” Tohma told them.

Blank faces stared back at him. Expressions of disbelief filled the room.

“Yeah, right,” Noriko laughed. “You bought L8r Records--and in one day.”

“I did.”

Noriko's laughter stopped short, like a switch had been flicked. “Are you serious?” she asked in disbelief. “You…”

“We are now in direct control of our careers. We can make the music we've always wanted to make, without having the suits breathing down our neck.”

Ryuichi jumped up from the couch with a cry and bounded over towards his friend. Laughing, he flung himself at Tohma, hugging him. “That's great Tohma! Congratulations!”

Tohma patted Ryuichi's back. “Thank you, Ryu.”

The others crowded around the new CEO, echoing Ryuichi's sentiments. They all talked at once, wanting to know every detail, smiling and laughing, all of them except Noriko who was staring at the gathered group with a frown. She appeared to be deep in thought. “Tohma,” she called softly. “What're you trying to pull?”

Tohma smiled at her. “I am not trying to pull anything, Noriko.”

“If Tohma wouldn't have bought out your record company, you guys would be out of a job,” Suguru told the older woman.

“Is that true?” Ryuichi asked Tohma in surprise, hanging from the man's neck.

“So, it seems,” Tohma told him.

“So,” Noriko said as she gritted her teeth and pushing herself up off the couch with a stop and go movement, “you think you can do for the company what Mr. Matsusaki and the others could not?”

“Yes, I do.”

Noriko studied Tohma as she waddled her way across the room. Whatever she saw must have reassured her and soothed her doubts for she said, “I'm counting on you, Tohma.”

As the conversation flowed around him, Hiro was suddenly hit with a realization. If Tohma Seguchi bought out L8r Records and was the new CEO, that meant the contract the old CEO offered them just last night was no longer valid. Disappointment flooded through Hiro. He grabbed Suguru's arm.

“Hiro, what-?”

He steered the younger man away from the gathered group towards where Shuichi still sat on the couch.

“Hiro, what's wrong?”

Shuichi looked up and watched his two friends with a blank look.

“Don't you understand? Tohma bought out L8R Records.”

“Yeah, we all just heard him.”

Hiro was exasperated that his friends were this thick. “And that means that the people we talked to last night are no longer employed at the record company.” He stared down at Shuichi. The pink haired singer was looking at him, but Hiro was not sure if he actually heard him.

Suguru blinked, not sure what Hiro was getting at. Then it hit him. “Ah!” How could he have let something this huge slip past unnoticed? “Damn!” He and Hiro turned back towards the others, a panicked look on his face. “Tohma! Last night, at the battle, we-”

Tohma nodded, holding up his hand. “I know.”

“What?” Suguru glanced at Hiro in confusion. “You know?” he asked, turning back.

“Yes and I plan to honor Bad Luck's contract.”

“What? Really? Yes!” Suguru threw his hands in the air and shouted.

“Thank you, Tohma,” Hiro bowed, grinning.

“Oh, man, Hiro! Did you hear?” Suguru flung himself at Hiro, laughing. “I can't believe it! We did it!”

Their excitement was contagious. The others clapped and whistled, giving the boys their best wishes.

“Congratulations,” Ryuichi cried. “I can't believe it! You guys finally did it!”

“Yeah, you guys deserve it,” Noriko said smiling.

Suguru let go of his friend and turned still smiling towards the others. “You'll not regret it, Tohma!”

“I hope not, Suguru,” Tohma cautioned him.

As the others crowded the smaller man, congratulating him, Hiro turned towards their lead singer. “Shuichi isn't it great?” Hiro asked, still grinning. Their dream was coming true! His smile faltered. “Shuichi?”

The only one not taking part in all the excitement was Shuichi. He sat in the armchair staring at the others blankly. He did not take part in the impromptu congratulatory celebration. Their laughter and excitement over these new turn of events washed over him. When he heard that L8r Records was bought out, he should have freaked out at the possibility that what he and his band mates sought so long and hard to achieve was going to be taken from them just as they reached their goal. He should be shouting and jumping for joy.

Should've.

Could've.

Would've.

Isn't.

The only thing Shuichi could think about was one Eiri Uesugi, his forbidden lover, and the fact that if it got out they had slept together, especially seeing as Eiri was a hotshot, famous romance writer and a prominent citizen in the community…

Shuichi did not want to cause Eiri any trouble. Last night, it seemed as if the writer did not care about the fact that Shuichi was underage. He claimed it was because he was horny. It could be because he was some sicko pervert, or something, but once they were in that hotel room...

Shuichi was not sure how he knew, but he had a feeling there was more to the mysterious writer then met the eye. If Eiri had been some perverted freak preying on young boys, or just some horny guy looking for a quick fuck, then why would he have been so gentle, so kind and loving? Why would he have taken him to one of the area's swankiest hotels? Then there was the ring he left behind. Shuichi clutched the silver ring hidden under his shirt.

A picture of a tall, pale man with yellow blond hair and golden eyes flashed through his mind. An overwhelming urge to see his forbidden lover came over him. They may have just met, but Shuichi missed his writer so much, it was pathetic. He wanted to be wrapped up in his strong embrace, feel those lush lips and gentle touch. He wanted to taste his cigarette-flavored mouth…

Shuichi took in a shuttering breath and slowly let it out, trying to calm himself down.

He wanted to, no, _needed_ to see Eiri, but he had no idea where to even start looking. Shuichi glanced at Tatsuha who was talking to Ryuichi and Tohma. Both men were laughing and smiling. Noriko sat in the other armchair, listening to their conversation. Huddled together, whispering and taking poignant glances at him were Hiro and Suguru. He ignored them and swung his gaze back towards Tatsuha. It was amazing how much alike they were. Take away the black hair and eyes and you would have Eiri. Just having his brother-in-law in the same room with him intensified the need to see Eiri. He could always ask Tatsuha where his brother lived, but that would bring unwanted questions.

All talk suddenly stopped.

“Moving,” Ryuichi repeated, as if he needed to be assured he had not been hearing things. He glanced at Tatsuha, gripping his hand.

Noriko wiggled herself to the edge of the chair. “You can't mean for all of us to move to Tokyo.”

Shuichi glanced from her to Tohma, waiting with batted breath along with the others.

“Yes, I am,” Tohma said confidently.

Gasps and startled whispers followed this statement.

Shuichi slumped back in the chair, pale faced and in total shock. Tokyo? Tohma wanted to move the record company from Kyoto to Tokyo? Was he serious? A picture of Eiri flashed through his mind. Tokyo? Shuichi groaned. He leaned his head back against the top of the chair and stared blankly at the black tiled ceiling. This was not happening! Why did things always have to come in sets? Why did good news always come with bad news? Was he cursed?

He had no idea what to do. He really wanted to do this, not just for himself but also for the guys. They have all worked so hard to get to this point and he did not want to be the one to spoil it for them. He could not let Hiro and Suguru down, but what about Eiri? On one hand, this move would ensure that the writer would not get into any trouble by having an underaged lover. On the other hand, Shuichi felt the strong urge to be selfish for once and tell Tohma to hell with the damned contract. He wanted to flick off the law and flaunt his and Eiri's relationship in their faces. He had never done something just for him. Everything had been to please his friends and family. Just this once, he wanted to be selfish. He wanted Eiri.

“I have a meeting with several contractors to go over possible locations for the headquarters of NG in the morning,” Tohma was saying. “I am not sure if a new building will be built or if we can find a suitable building we can remodel. Whatever we decide, the move will not happen for at least a year. Until then we will continue to use the L8r Records building.”

Shuichi sighed in relief. So, they had a year, huh?

Noriko shook her head. “Tohma. You can't just decide something like this! We all have lives and family here! And you just expect us to just up and leave?”

Tohma nodded. “Yes, I do.”

“What about Mika,” she pressed. “Do you really think your wife would appreciate away from her family?”

“I already talked to her. She has no qualms about it.”

“Tohma,” Noriko sighed, shaking her head. “My husband-“

“I have taken care of all of it, Noriko. Do not worry.” He checked his watch. “But I have to cut this short. I have dinner plans with Mika and then I am taking the train to Tokyo for the meeting tomorrow.”

“But Tohma!”

Tohma turned towards the members of Bad Luck. “I will call and set up a dinner meeting where I can talk with all of your parents and go over the contract and discuss the problems you may have about this relocation.”

“Okay,” Suguru nodded.

“Sure,” Hiro shrugged.

Shuichi looked away from Tohma's penetrating eyes.

Tohma then turned to address his fellow band mates. “I will set up a meeting with you and your husband when I return,” he told Noriko.

“Tohma.”

“Ryu-“

“I really don't want to move to Tokyo, Tohma,” Ryuichi told his friend. His and Tatsuha's family were here. Besides, Tatsuha was a monk and helped at his family's temple. If he had to move, then his lover might not be forced to stay behind. Ryuichi was not sure if he could handle that. He wrapped Tatsuha's arms around himself and forced back his tears.

Tatsuha hugged his lover tight and kissed the back of his head, knowing exactly what the slightly older man was thinking. “I think it would be great to move to Tokyo. I've always wanted to go there.”

Ryuichi blinked and turned to face Tatsuha. “Really? You'd come with me?”

Tatsuha rolled his eyes. “Duh! You're mine Ryu and I won't let you go.”

“Tatsu,” Ryuichi cried, flinging himself at the other man.

Tohma continued to smile. “Now that that's settled…” He turned towards Bad Luck. “I will try to set up the meeting for next weekend so keep your calendars free. Noriko, I will contact you when I return.”

“So we're done,” Shuichi assumed.

“Yes, Shuichi. We are.”

Sighing, Shuichi grabbed his backpack off the floor next to the chair and fled from the club as if a demon was hot on his heels.

Hiro, with Suguru not far behind, raced after Shuichi. As he ran down the metal staircase and across the dance floor, he felt the pill bottle he had placed in the front pocket of his sleeveless hoodie bounce against him. The pills rattled and clanked. Even if he had to beat his best friend upside the head, he would find out what these pills were and what was going on with him.

At a more leisurely pace, Tohma, Noriko, Ryuichi and Tatsuha made their way down the wide metal staircase. They looked up as the sound of a door clunked open and closed.

“Did Shu seem--I don't know…kinda quite?” Ryuichi asked aloud.

“Ryu,” Noriko scolded.

Tohma chuckled. “Ryuichi, you really need to stop mothering Shuichi.”

Tatsuha poked his boyfriend in the side with his free hand. “Told ya,” he whispered in Ryuichi's ear.

Ryuichi giggled and wiggled away from Tatsuha's idle hand. “Stop that,” he scolded.

“He's sixteen years old, Ryu,” Noriko was saying. “He can take care of himself. He does not need you to hold his hand anymore, but he did seem a bit quiet. But I'm sure whatever is bothering him, he can handle and if he can't then hopefully he'll come to us for help.” She shrugged.

Tatsuha frowned as he followed Tohma and Noriko up the staircase to the club's front door. He was not sure if Shuichi would feel comfortable coming to them for help in this situation.

“Hey, Tohma,” Noriko said as soon as they stepped into the late afternoon sun. “Why did you have us meet here instead of at, say, your house, or something?”

Tohma locked the heavy steel door and then pocketed the keys. “I thought it would be nice to start the next chapter of our lives by returning to where it all started,” he said as he turned towards them.

“What?” Noriko and Ryuichi glanced at each other in confusion. “Tohma, we never played here.”

Tatsuha turned to study the front of the building. He had not paid attention when they first arrived, but now that he took the time to think about it, the place did seem familiar. Or maybe it was just that this club reminded him of another one.

“It's had a change of ownership and has been gutted and remodeled, but we have been here before,” Tohma corrected.

Noriko studied her friend closely through squinted eyes. She placed her hands on her hips, centering her bulbous weight and glared at the man. She reminded Ryuichi of a teacher he had in elementary school that looked like that when she reprimanding her rowdy students. “You own this place, don't you,” she accused.

“What?” Tatsuha and Ryuichi turned stunned faces to Tohma. “You own the newest, hottest gay club in Kyoto,” Tatsuha accused.

“Yes.”

“Why? When did this happen?” Noriko asked.

“When Koshoku went bankrupt several months ago, I decided to buy it as an investment piece. To say the least, it has paid off.”

‘Koshoku'? Why did…? Ryuichi's eyes widened. “We played our first gig here!”

“What? Is that true?” Noriko asked in disbelief.

Before he could answer, Tohma's cellphone rang. He excused himself and answered it. A couple seconds later, he returned. “Sorry, guys. I really must go.”

A honk from behind them had them turning. A bright smile lit Noriko's face. “It looks like my ride’s here,” she told them. Saying her goodbyes, the pregnant keyboardist waddled her way to the white car idling by the curb. With a final wave, she hopped in and the car sped off down the street, vanishing into the late afternoon traffic.

Tohma turned towards Tatsuha and Ryuichi and bowed. “Until later.” He darted across the street and vanished into the crowd.

Tatsuha sighed. “Let's collect Shu and go home,” he suggested.

“Good idea.”

Both men looked around for the pink haired singer, only to discover he was nowhere in sight. What they did see were a breathless Hiro and Suguru at the corner, their faces red from excursion and dripping with sweat.

Frantic with worry, Ryuichi bolted towards the boys. “Hiro! Suguru! Where is Shuichi? What happened?”

Hiro exchanged a look with Suguru. “Uh, well, ya see…”

“We lost him,” Suguru confessed.

Ryuichi blinked uncomprehendingly. “You lost him,” he stared calmly.

Hiro scratched his head. “I wanted to talk to him about a few things, but when I called out to him, he just darted out into the street and hopped into this black foreign car.”

“You lost him,” Ryuichi accused angrily. “How could you let him get into a stranger's car?” he shouted.

Passersby turned and stared at them curiously.

A black foreign car? Tatsuha wondered.

“See, that's the thing,” Hiro told his best friend's brother quickly.

“It seemed as if he knew the driver,” Suguru finished.

While Ryuichi looked angry at the boys for letting Shuichi run off and confused as he thought about who Shuichi might know that owned a foreign car, Tatsuha on the other hand had a very good feeling he knew whom Shuichi was with. However, he was unsure if he should tell Ryuichi. How do you go about telling someone his baby brother was with an older man? Beat the hell out of him.

 

* * *

 

A bell tinkled softly when the door opened. Complete with cowboy hat and a pair of dark sunglasses, Ryuichi walked into the family owned diner with Tatsuha right behind him. Ryuichi sighed contently as a cool blast of cold air hit him. It was so hot outside; you could literally fry an egg on the sidewalk. And that wasn’t just a metaphor either. One time he was watching a home improvement show on television where the host cracked an egg on the sidewalk in front of the house they were working on. It was so hot outside that day that the egg had actually begun to cook. That was how hot it felt out today. While summer was his favorite time of year, this humidity was beyond ridiculous.

The diner was small and unnoticeable from the outside. There was a used bookstore to one side and a dry cleaners on the other. Both stores had dirty, grimy storefronts and looked eerily desolate. The small diner did not look any better. There was no sign. The bottom half of the front windows were covered in colored sticky paper. The top half had a faux frosty look. In all appearances, the building appeared vacant, but that was why Ryuichi liked it. If you did not know it was here then all you saw was a string of storefronts that appeared deserted. The diner got by on word of mouth alone. Though there was talk of fixing the neighborhood up. Neither men was sure what they thought of that.

Ryuichi led Tatsuha to a back table, saying hello to the waitress behind the counter.

Moments later, the waitress walked up to the table and handed the two men a menu.

“That's alright,” Tatsuha told her. “We'll both have the special and iced tea.”

“Okay,” she nodded. “Baked potato or fries?”

“Fries,” Ryuichi said.

“Baked potato,” Tatsuha told her.

She wrote there choices on her pad. “Soup or salad?”

“We'll both have the egg drop soup.”

“Alright.” She smiled and told them their drinks would be right out. She then turned and went to place their order.

Ryuichi excused himself and Tatsuha watched as he vanished into the bathroom.

The waitress sidled up to the table moments later and placed two condensation-dripping cups on the table.

“Thank you,” Tatsuha smiled.

“You're welcome.”

Tatsuha watched her move to another table to take their order. His eyes swept over the restaurant and landed on a man at the cash register paying his bill. This man had dirty blond hair, long on top and short underneath. He was wearing a pair of crisp tan khaki's and a short-sleeved green shirt. He had on dark sunglasses and an unlit cigarette dangled from his lips. The man turned and Tatsuha got a better look at his face. His face brightened in recognition. He jumped to his feet and raced after the man as he left the diner.

“Bro! Hey, bro! Wait up,” Tatsuha cried. He finally caught him at the corner, lighting his cigarette. “Hey, Eiri!”

Eiri puffed on his cigarette and blew the smoke into his brother's face.

Tatsuha coughed and waved the smoke out of his face.

“What do you want, Tatsuha?” the blond writer demanded.

“Jeeze, can't a man say ‘hi' to his big brother once in awhile?”

Eiri glanced at Tatsuha, but did not say anything.

With a sigh, Tatsuha shook his head. Eiri really was a cold assed bastard.

“Was there a point to stopping me, or were you just admiring my good looks?”

“Why, gotta date? Say with a pink haired pop star?” If Tatsuha had not been watching, he never would have seen the flash in his brother's eyes before he was able to school his expression.

“I have no idea what you're talking about,” Eiri denied around his cigarette. He turned and walked away, vanishing into the throng of people crossing the street.

Tatsuha did not blame his brother for denying any involvement with Shuichi. He could not help but wonder when it came to Shuichi, what were his brother's feelings? How did Eiri feel about the boy? Tatsuha considered Shuichi a good friend of his, not just his partner's baby brother, and the last thing the kid needed was to be hurt worse than he already has been by the people in his life. Another thought struck him as he started back for the diner. If his brother had just been paying his bill when he and Ryuichi arrived, than that meant Eiri had most likely been there for an hour or so, meaning it had not been his Mercedes that Hiro had seen Shuichi climbing into. So, if it had been him, than whose car had he climbed into?

 

* * *

 

Shuichi sat on a large rock besides the koi pond, his legs dangling along the surface of the pristine water. He stared blankly into the water, trying to figure out what to do about Eiri and the stipulations of the contract with NG.

“Hey,” came a voice.

Startled, Shuichi's head snapped up and around. “Oh, Maa-kun,” he breathed easily as he saw the blond haired man heading towards him, a beer in each hand. “You're up early. It's only a little after four.”

“Yeah, I know,” the older man said. He handed one of the cans to the boy and sat down besides him. “We have a meeting tonight with a couple of the top people at some new record company.”

Shuichi chocked on the amber liquid.

“Are you alright?” Maa-kun asked, slapping Shuichi on the back.

Unable to respond over his coughing fit, Shuichi nodded. A new record company? Was he referring to Tohma's new label NG Productions?

“I think he's just jealous,” sneered a new voice.

Shuichi gritted his teeth. The beer can crackled in his hand.

“Taki,” Maa-kun warned.

“Hey, I'm just stating the facts.” Taki Aizawa waltzed over to the pink haired boy and grabbing his chin, forced him to stare at him. “Isn't that right, Shuichi?” he asked sweetly.

God, he really hated this man! Shuichi spit in the man's face. “Screw you,” he snapped.

If anyone should be jealous, it was Taki. Bad Luck had been offered a contract by winning a battle, and had been honored by the new president of the record company in a face-to-face meeting. ASK was meeting the dog, not the person holding the dog’s leash.

Taki flung the wad of saliva off his cheek and smiled slyly at the boy. “What, again?” He ran a finger up Shuichi's cheek. “We just did it the day before yesterday. Aren't you a horny little beast? I'm that good, huh?”

The people Shuichi hung out with here at what once used to be a Buddhist temple were all runaways and school dropouts. Each of them were considered hooligans, thugs, ruffians or hoodlums--among other things--and were either addicted to drugs or were alcoholics--if not both--and a good deal of them worked as prostitutes in order to support their addictions. A great deal of them also did odd jobs for Kizou. What those “odd jobs” were, Shuichi had no idea and was not sure he wanted to know. Kizou said the same thing to him more than once before.

Kizou was a mysterious man. He bought the run down temple for a steal from the city and fixed it up. He made a fortune selling drugs, firearms and pimping out not only females but the males as well. It was said the police were hot to take down this Yakuza wannabe but had absolutely no evidence. He took nothing from no one, especially from Taki, but because Kizou had a thing for Shuichi, though he claimed he was not gay, he tended to be lenient and was a bit of a softie when it came to the pink haired teen.

Taki Aizawa was a sick, perverted freak who did anything that moved, willing or not. He loved overpowering people weaker than him. His favorite target was Shuichi.

Shuichi hated having the sick perverts who were always hanging around Kizou touching him, but he had no other choice. Because Hiro took care of the money Bad Luck made, Shuichi was always broke and wound up doing favors in exchange for the things he needed. Of course, the others always waited until Kizou was not around before they pounced because Kizou would have all their heads on a platter with their balls as garnish. Besides, they took care of him, loved him. He could always ask Hiro for his portion of the money they earned, but that would open a floodgate of inquiries and the less Hiro knew the better.

Without thinking, Shuichi slapped away Taki's hand that was trailing down his chest. “Don't touch me,” he hissed. “And no, you're not that good. I've had better.” A picture of Eiri flashed through his mind. “Last night in fact.”

Taki looked surprised for a second and then turned angry. He stepped towards the boy, clenching his fists angrily. “Why you filthy little whore,” he hissed back.

“That may be, but I'm not yours. Not any more.” Shuichi stepped up the other man, so that they were pressed intimately together. “And for your information, Bad Luck did get signed. Not more than half an hour ago and by the president himself,” he added just for kicks.

Shuichi had the satisfaction of seeing Taki's face turn purple with fury.

Not liking where this was going, Maa-kun set is beer down and stepped between the two men. He placed a hand on each of their chests and pushed them apart. “Taki, c'mon,” he told his singer. He moved both of his hands on Taki’s chest. “We have that meeting to go to, remember?” He pushed the man away from Shuichi and back towards the house.

“Alright, alright.” Taki pushed Maa-kun away from him. “Go find Ken and bring the car around,” he ordered.

Maa-kun looked at Taki suspiciously.

“Go!”

With one last look at his friend, Maa-kun vanished into the house to find the third member of their band.

Taki turned back towards Shuichi to find the boy glaring angrily at him.

“I don't know what company would sign Sad Fuck, but ASK will be big,” he assured the boy. “While we're playing sold old concerts all over the world, your sad little band will be stuck playing two bit, second rate bars and taverns for a bunch of drunk, overweight, horny men who'll take one look at you and know the only thing you're good for is good quick fuck.”

Shuichi gritted his teeth in irritation and annoyance. His hands clenched into tight fists. The beer can in his hand was reduced to a flat piece of metal. His hand was slick and sticky from the beer that had spit out.

A honk echoed through the still, late afternoon air. Taki glanced quickly towards the house. “If you'll excuse me,” he said with a mock bow. “I have a meeting to go to.” Like a switch had been flicked, the sly smile vanished and was replaced with a heated mask. “And when I return,” he hissed, stepping nose to nose with the boy, “I'll show you what happens to little fuckers who don't do--as--they're--told. I'll make sure this new beau of yours wants nothing more to do with you after tonight.”

Shuichi, despite himself, shivered at the threat. Hot, angry tears filled his eyes. While most people are all talk and full of hot air, when Taki made a threat, he always carried it out and with vengeance. He was the only person Shuichi truly was afraid of.

Savoring the reaction, Taki smiled and vanished inside the house.

Shuichi glanced after the man. He hated Taki more than words could say. He hated him with a passion.

Dammit!

He threw the crushed beer can across the yard, hearing it land in a bush somewhere out of sight. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the beer can Maa-kun left behind. Wiping his tear blurred face he grabbed and chugged down the bitter amber liquid.

 

* * *

 

The ex-temple was just beginning to wake up when the thirty-year-old owner returned an hour later. A black Mercedes rolled up the driveway and parked besides the other dozen or so vehicles. A well-groomed man dressed in a black suit stepped out. Pocketing his keys, he shut the car door and walked to the front door. It opened as he reached for the doorknob.

“Kizou,” said a young man dressed in nothing but a pair of baggy sweat pants. His hair was mused, his dark roots contrasting sharply against the white blond coloration. The boy, who did not look much older than Shuichi, glanced over his shoulder. He bit his lip and a look of fear swept across his face.

“Narata,” Kizou stated calmly.

“Uhm…”

Kizou raised an eyebrow. “Are you going to let me in my home or make me stand out here all night?”

Narata opened his mouth, but a drunken slur from somewhere in the house cut him off. The boy glanced over his shoulder. Then slowly turned back to Kizou, gulping at the furious expression on his boss’s face. His eyes grew wide. Taking a step back, he held his hands up as if to ward off a blow. “It wasn't me! I swear! Kizou-“

Swearing furiously, Kizou pushed the younger man aside and stormed into the house. “Who then?” he demanded.

Narata raced after Kizou. “I-I don't know! I just-just woke up!”

Kizou marched through the house, throwing open all the doors along the way, searching for the drunk boy. The house had half a dozen bedrooms plus the kitchen, dining room, several bathrooms and living and sitting room. Each one had at least half a dozen people either snoring softly or just waking up, but none of them was who he was looking for. He entered the kitchen and saw Kisa and Shinichi cooking breakfast. “Where is he?” he asked them heatedly.

Kisa said nothing and hunched over the stove.

Shinichi turned from the cupboard, a stack of plates in his hands. The twenty-three year old looked at him calmly. “I think he headed into your room.”

“Who gave him alcohol?”

Shinichi shrugged. “Either Taki or Maa-kun. They were the only ones up when you dropped Shu off earlier.”

Kizou growled. “Where are they now?”

“At that meeting,” he said, turning back to the cupboard.

“Call me when they return.”

“Sure.”

Kizou turned on his heel and marched towards his bedroom, pushing passed a frightened Narata who had plastered himself to the wall. He burst into his bedroom, the shoji door slamming into the pocket. He stood in the doorway, glaring at the boy angrily, but his anger quickly vanished and turned into amusement. Crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned against the doorjamb and watched as a drunken Shuichi danced around the bedroom in nothing more than a pair of jeans that were hanging dangerously low on his hips.

The pink haired singer twirled about the bedroom, his arms stretched out on either side of him and his head hanging back. The boy's mouth was open wide as he laughed joyously.

A smile graced Kizou's lips. Pushing away from the doorframe, Kizou slid the door closed behind him as he sauntered across the room towards the boy. He loosened his tie and chucked off his suit coat. He tossed it over his shoulder.

Shuichi stopped spinning, but the room continued to sway and the floor tilted under his feet. Off balance, the singer staggered. He cried out in surprise. His arms flailing like a windmill, he toppled backwards onto the bed with a light bounce and laughed gleefully. The boy smiled with a sigh. He closed his eyes and hummed a tune Kizou did not recognize.

Kizou slipped off his tie and tossed it to the floor. He walked around the bed and gazed down lustfully at the boy sprawled out on the mattress. Shuichi's arms were stretched out on either side of him. His skinny legs were bent, knees pointed at the ceiling and feet planted on the edge of the bed, toes dangling off the mattress. His eyes were still closed. He had a carefree smile on his face. Kizou planted himself between Shuichi's legs and ran his hands up and down the boy's thighs.

Shuichi giggled and opened amethyst eyes. “Hey, Kizou,” slurred with a laugh.

“Shuichi.”

“Your name sounds like kitty.” The boy laughed hysterically.

Kizou raised an eyebrow and smirked. He ran his hands back down Shuichi's thighs and across his jean clothed crotch. He was rewarded with a hiss and a needy moan. A satisfied smile slid across his face. A quick glance at the boy's face assured him that Shuichi was enjoying himself and the attention he was getting. This was the only reason why he loved it when Shuichi got plastered. The downside was what happened afterwards. That was why he did not like Shuichi drinking. “How many beers did you have?” he asked Shuichi curiously, as he unzipped the boy’s pants.

“One,” Shuichi cried out proudly, holding up a finger.

Kizou raised an eyebrow. “Really?” If it had been anyone other than Shuichi, he would not have believed it, but it was Shuichi. One, Shuichi could not hold his liquor to save his life. A thimble full of sake had Shuichi all loopy. Two, Shuichi could not tell a believable lie if his life depended on it and being drunk made the boy act like he had ingested a truth serum.

“Uh, huh,” Shuichi nodded with a giggle.

“Hm.”

Kizou ran his hands up the boy's chest. His fingers circled Shuichi's nipple and massaged them to life. Shuichi moaned in response. When Kizou tweaked the pert buds, Shuichi inhaled sharply. He then giggled and squirmed, as Kizou's other hand trailed lightly down his sides.

“That tickles,” he laughed, curling on his side.

Kizou chuckled softly.

“You want me,” Shuichi teased slyly, looking at him out of the corner of his eye.

“Damn straight,” Kizou growled. He pushed Shuichi onto his back and straddled him. As the kid giggled, Kizou slid a hand under his underwear and grabbing his cock, stroked it to life.

Shuichi tossed his head back and arched his back, raising his hips. A low moan escaped his lips.

Kizou removed his hand and standing up, started unbuttoned his shirt.

Shuichi watched him, his whole face smiling and giggled. “Guess what?”

“What?” Kizou stripped his shirt off and tossed it over his shoulder.

“I was with someone last night,” he mocked whispered.

Kizou’s dark eyes narrowed. “Really,” he growled as he felt the first stirrings of jealousy. That would explain where the boy was all night.

Shuichi nodded. He glanced around to make sure nobody could over hear the next part. He staggered to his knees and crooked a finger at his older lover. The man leaned down so that Shuichi could whisper in his ear. “I think I love him.”

Kizou went still.

“And I think he got me pregnant,” Shuichi added in that same mock whisper.

That stopped Kizou cold. He watched Shuichi flop back onto the bed and roll around on the mattress, laughing gaily with a gigantic smile on his face. Kizou had never seen the boy happier in the year he knew him. His whole face was glowing and his eyes were sparkling. However, Kizou had never been more enraged in his entire life. Not only had some other guy stolen his Shuichi away from him, but this other man had also gotten him pregnant? He could forgive that Shuichi was one of those freaks if it was his child the boy was carrying, but the fact that it was some other guy’s seed? No. No way in bloody hell. Not going to happen. Kizou wanted more than anything to believe that it was just the alcohol talking, but the fact of the matter was, Shuichi lacked the ability to lie, especially when he was plastered.

Growling, Kizou clenched his hands into tights fists of fury. “Get out,” he said slowly in a dangerously low voice.

Shuichi's laughter was silenced as if a switch had been flicked. Blinking, he sat up and looked at him in confusion. “What?”

Kizou rounded the bed and grabbing Shuichi's arm, dragged him off the bed and out of the bedroom.

Suddenly sober, Shuichi tugged against the painful vise-like grip on his arm. He planted his feet on the floor. “Kizou,” Shuichi whined. “You're hurting me! Kizou!”

The other occupants of the house were startled awake as Kizou continued to drag Shuichi kicking and screaming through the house. Whispers followed the couple. “What's going on? What's happening?”

“What did I do?” Shuichi asked the man as tears flowed down his face. He tried prying off the hand clamped around his arm. “Kizou! Please!”

Kizou slammed open the front door in a fury and disgusted haze. He marched down the drive past the cars, still pulling a reluctant and hysterical Shuichi behind him. He tossed the boy down the driveway. Shuichi lost his balance and fell, hissing in pain as he skinned his shins and elbows. “Get out of here,” he snapped. “Now!”

Shuichi rolled around onto his back and stared up at the tall man who had been his entire world for the past year. “Why? What did I do?” he cried as the tears flowed down his face. “Please! I don't understand!”

Kizou gazed at his little lover and felt like a complete heel. All he wanted to do was pull the boy into his arms and never let go. He wanted to wipe that unbecoming expression off Shuichi’s face. A smile suited Shuichi best. He truly did love this boy and he knew Shuichi felt something for him. It may not be the same feeling that he felt for Shuichi, but there was some sort of connection between the two of them. And he knew this was the only real home the boy had. But he just could not do it. He had a reputation to uphold. Besides, with the way things were right now, he could not continue to guarantee Shuichi’s safety. The last thing Kizou wanted was to pull Shuichi into the dark underworld of this organization. This way, Shuichi had a chance to give the child that was growing within him a much better life than the kind of life he would have if both mother and son remained here with him. Someday, Shuichi will thank him for this.

Steeling himself, he marched towards the boy and hunched over his quivering, half-naked form. “I--don’t--like--freaks,” he hissed. It broke his heart to witness Shuichi’s complete world shatter around him, but it was for the best. He just had to continue saying that to himself.

Shuichi's eyes widened and his face paled.

Freak.

That word echoed in his mind over and over again. Once again, he was an outcast. Once again, he was forced to abandon his home all because of something he could not control.

Kizou unfurled himself and at his full height, glowered down at the sniveling boy. “Get the fuck out of here,” he ordered. “And never show your face around here again!” He turned his back and vanished into the gathered group of curious onlookers.

With tears spilling down his face, Shuichi crossed his arms over his naked chest and walked miserably down the drive.

Behind him, Narata ran out of the house with Shuichi's shirt, shoes and backpack in his arms. He called out to the singer, but Shuichi kept on walking. Never once did he look back.

“Are you sure it's okay to just let him leave like that?” asked Kizou’s shadow and bodyguard Yutoshi.

“Don't worry,” Kizou assured him.

“But, Kizou! You can't-“

Kizou rounded on the man. “I can and I will!” He glanced at his subordinates. “If you have a problem with the way things are run, then bring it on! Otherwise, shut your face and get to work!” He spun on his heel and stormed into the house, slamming the door with enough force to crack it.

 

* * *

 

Shuichi staggered down the street, blinded by tears, his mind hazy from the lasting affects of alcohol and shock. He pushed past the throng of people, deaf to their angry protests and exclamations. He wandered the streets, lost in his own world and blind to the world around him.

An angry horn, squealing breaks and screams startled him back to reality. Slowly, he turned towards the noise. He blinked as a jeep-truck served his way.

 

**…To Be Continued…**


	3. Shuichi's First Confession

**Chapter 3: Shuichi's First Confession**

With his elbow on the car door and his chin resting on his fisted hand, Ryuichi stared out the passenger door window as he fought to keep his mind blank. It was a losing battle. Sighing heavily, Ryuichi straightened and glanced at the sleeping, half-naked teenage boy lying in the back seat. “I really think we should take him to the hospital.”

Tatsuha glanced quickly in the rear view mirror. “No, I think it'd be better to just get him home.”

Ryuichi studied his boyfriend carefully. He had a sneaking suspicion that Tatsuha knew more than he was saying.

As Tatsuha pulled into the underground garage of their plushy apartment building, Ryuichi turned around as much as his seatbelt would allow and studied Shuichi.

The boy seemed to be unharmed but looks could be deceiving . Dressed in only a pair of black jeans that were hanging suspiciously low on his hips with the fly open, somehow Shuichi had lost his shirt and shoes. The bag he always carried was also gone. The way Shuichi had staggered into the street and the state of his dress, or rather, lack there of, made him suspect that Shuichi may have been attacked, but one whiff at the boy who had fallen unconscious right in front of their jeep and Ryuichi knew: Shuichi had drunk himself into a stupor.

As Ryuichi carried Shuichi to the elevator with Tatsuha besides him, he could not help but think that this was his fault.

 

* * *

 

**The Next Morning**

Heavy lids fluttered open. The light streaming in through the open window seared his retinas. Cursing, he turned his head away and curling onto his side and pulling the sheets over his head, Shuichi buried underneath the mound of blankets, squeezing his eyes closed as a sharp jolt raced through his head.

With a sudden moan, he flung aside the sheets, stumbled out of bed and staggered across the hall to the bathroom, falling to his knees before the toilet just in time.

 

* * *

 

Ryuichi sat in his pink pajama pants at his computer playing around with a sound mixer program. He was trying to work on a song he wrote while on tour when the sound of retching echoed through the apartment. He looked up and sighed. His elbows resting on either side of the keyboard and buried his face in his hands.

A steaming cup of tea in his hands, Tatsuha appeared in the threshold of the office. Leaning against the doorframe, he gazed over his shoulder towards the toilet. “Sounds like Shu's up,” he informed his boyfriend unnecessarily.

Ryuichi sighed and sitting back, let his head fall back.

“Are you going to talk to him?”

“Yeah,” Ryuichi said in a distracted manner.

Tatsuha watched his lover with an amused smile as the singer continued to sit in his desk chair, staring blankly at the ceiling. “Ryu,” he chuckled.

Ryuichi turned his head so that his cheek was resting on the back of the chair and glanced at the other male.

Tatsuha chuckled again and walked into the room. He set his cup down on the desk and rested his free hands on Ryuichi's shoulders. He kissed the top of his head. “Do you want me to do it?” he asked quietly.

“No, I'll do it,” Ryuichi sighed. He patted Tatsuha's hands. Pushing away from the desk, he walked out of the den.

“Good luck,” Tatsuha said quietly.

 

* * *

 

Shuichi had no idea how long he sat hunched over the toilet bowl. He felt terrible. It was as if a dozen tiny little construction workers were doing demolition inside his head. Actually, it was more like there were some people in his head playing a rough game of handball and had decided to use his brain as their ball. His churning stomach was twisted into knots. Even the knots had knots. And he was so uncomfortably warm that his insides felt like they were being boiled alive. The slightest move sent the room spinning and his stomach rolling.

He heard footsteps coming towards him but could not summon enough energy or strength to even pry open an eye to see who it was.

“Shuichi.”

Shuichi grunted and cowered away from the shouting as each word intensified the already sharp pounding in his head. “Please…don't…shout,” he told his brother barely whispering.

Ryuichi sighed. He had a feeling Shuichi was not going to touch another alcoholic drink for some time. He walked into the bathroom and squatted down besides him with a wet washcloth.

With a trembling hand, Shuichi took the proffered rag gratefully and wiped his face. He loved the feeling the warmth of the cloth against his clammy skin.

“Here,” Ryuichi said, exchanging the rag for a cup of water and an aspirin. “Rinse out your mouth and take this for your headache.”

Shuichi did as he was told and instantly felt a little better. He leaned his forehead against the side of the toilet, loving the feel of the cool porcelain. Closing his tired, aching eyes, Shuichi felt his stomach begin to settle back down.

“C'mon.” Ryuichi wrapped his arms around Shuichi's waist and helped him to his feet. “Let's get you to bed.”

Sighing, Ryuichi carried Shuichi down the hall and back into the spare bedroom, passing Tatsuha who was standing in the doorway leading into the living room, still sipping his tea. Gently, Ryuichi set Shuichi onto the bed and watched as the boy immediately curled onto his side in a fetal position. Shuichi blindly reached out and pulled the covers over himself until the only thing that could be seen was the top of his pink spiky head.

Ryuichi glanced behind him as a noise drew his attention and saw Tatsuha standing in the doorway. When their eyes met, Tatsuha smiled and nodded, telling him without words what Ryuichi needed to hear. Turning back around, Ryuichi took a deep breath and steeled himself. “Shuichi, we need to talk,” he ordered more harshly than he had intended.

Shuichi, entombed in the middle of the bed, groaned in protest. All he wanted to do was go back to sleep. Talking took too much energy, so did listening and he had no energy to spare for such a useless cause. To do either one meant he had to concentrate and that meant he had to pay attention, but right at the moment his brain felt too much like a bowl of mush. “No wanna,” he whined.

“Shuichi,” Ryuichi scolded. He grabbed the blankets covering the boy, yanked them off and tossed them onto the floor.

His brother yelped in surprise and sprang around. His bejeweled eyes stared around him incredibly. For the first time, Shuichi realized where he was, or rather where he was not. His heart sank and a heavy weight settled on his shoulders. He was hoping it had all been a bad dream.

“Morning Sunshine,” came a mocking voice.

Shuichi felt his heart skip a beat. With wide eyes, he looked towards the bedroom doorway, hoping against hope…and frowned. He swallowed over a lump in his throat. He blinked stinging eyes and inhaled shakily. He looked away, trying to block out just how much like Eiri Tatsuha was. He still had no idea what he was going to do about the whole thing with NG and his writer lover.

It was Tatsuha's turn to frown. If he had any lingering doubt about his brother's involvement with Shuichi, it vanished very quickly in that instant.

“You brought me here,” Shuichi said to nobody in particularly. It was more statement than question.

“We did,” Ryuichi answered. “After you staggered out in the middle of oncoming traffic and collapsed right in front of the car.”

Shuichi nodded slowly, blinking away the sudden unsought of tears. His throat constricted over a threatening sob as he remembered all too clearly, why he had nearly been killed.

“You've been asleep since we brought you here yesterday evening.”

Shuichi said nothing. He frowned heavily into his lap. The silence stretched like a worn rubber band, fraying and ready to break and snap your innocently waiting fingers.

Feeling his impatience growing by the second, Ryuichi was the first to break. “How long?” he asked. When Shuichi's only answer was a blank stare, he growled with annoyance and slammed his hands onto the mattress, startling Shuichi. Ryuichi bent towards the younger boy and was stunned to see tears running down Shuichi’s face. He blinked and straightened. “Shuichi? What-?”

With a sob, the teen threw himself at his older brother. He wrapped thin arms around Ryuichi’s waist and buried his face in Ryuichi's stomach.

Ryuichi hugged the boy and petted his hair. Shuichi's tiny frame shook violently as he sobbed loudly. Fat tears rolled down his face. Ryuichi exchanged a look with Tatsuha. He had no idea what to do. This was the first time he had ever seen Shuichi cry.

 

* * *

 

An hour later, Ryuichi and Tatsuha were in the living room speaking quietly when the door creaked open. They stopped talking and looked up as Shuichi shuffled into the living room wearing a pair of Ryuichi's jeans and a shirt of Tatsuha's that fit him like a dress. His unnatural pink hair was damp from the shower.

Shuichi crept silently into the nearest chair and scrunched into a tight ball. Wrapping his arms around his legs, he rested his cheek on his knees.

Ryuichi glanced at Tatsuha, feeling like a snake for doing this to the boy when it was obvious he was in pain, but that was why he had to do it. He slid to the edge of the couch and clasped his hands between his knees. He stared at the carpet briefly as he gathered his thoughts. Lifting his head, he opened his mouth to speak but before he could, Shuichi started laughing, but it was not a happy laugh. “Shu-“

“You know, I never belonged,” Shuichi sniffed. He was half laughing and half crying. It felt like he was going insane. “Only when I was lying to them did I fit in. I was normal then, but I was lying, hiding behind a false façade. I was always afraid that someday, somehow, the truth would come out and I was afraid of what would happen when it did. Still, I had some place to call home, people who liked me, joked and laughed with me. They accepted me. They loved me, wanted me.” Shuichi turned a wet face towards his brother and Tatsuha and laughed. “I had to make some compromises, do things that…that…” His voice broke and fresh tears gushed down his cheeks. He turned his head to stare out the window at the late morning Kyoto skyline. He looked at it but did not see it. “To think that I would rather let them do whatever they wanted to me then go back to That House,” he said bitterly.

Ryuichi's eyes widened in shock and disbelief. He did not like what he was hearing.

“When did it start?” Tatsuha asked, being careful to keep his voice nonchalant.

Shuichi was silent for such a long time that both Tatsuha and Ryuichi thought he was not going to answer. “I never had anybody,” Shuichi finally said. “My father hates me. Maiko is indifferent. Mom never…She doesn't really care, not as much as she should, not like she used to when I was little.” He laughed, wiping at tears that continued to seep down his face.

He had nobody? Ryuichi could not fathom that logic. What about me, he asked silently.

Tatsuha shook his head. He leaned forward and studied the younger man. He voiced his partner's thoughts. “That's not true. You have Ryu and me and-“

Shuichi shook his head.

“Shuichi, we all care about you! We love you. We appreciate you. We want you. You don't have to hide or lie about who you are or aren't.”

Shuichi shook his head vigorously. “It's…” It was not the same. What was that saying? Blood is thicker than water. As much as he cared about the others, it just…Somehow it did not make up for what he lost. And hanging out with a bunch of perverts did, his mind shot back.

“I know you haven’t had the best childhood, but you aren't alone. You have us-!”

“It's not the same!” Shuichi yelled, crying.

“How?” Ryuichi asked softly.

“You were never there!”

Ryuichi gasped. He did not know what to say to that. He always felt bad for leaving Shuichi for weeks and even months at a time, especially when he knew how the boy was treated, but Shuichi had Hiro and Suguru and of course, Tatsuha was always here.

“And when you were you just made things worse!” Shuichi continued with a sob. He sniffed and wiped his wet cheeks.

That surprised Ryuichi. “Worse?”

“You were always there at the drop of a hat to defend me! Always beating up the people who made fun of me, or said things…You made my condition even more evident! You slapped it in their faces! And I hated you for that! But when you weren't there anymore…I felt…I felt…” Shuichi was not sure how that made him feel. Vulnerable? Like he had a target on his back? Open and exposed? Maybe. Probably. Definitely. “I threw myself into Bad Luck, trying to bury how unhappy I was, how miserable I was,” he sobbed. “And it worked…for a little bit. Then…Last year I met Kizou. He approached me in the bathroom after one of our gigs.” Shuichi laughed as he remembered that meeting all too well. “He said he could tell how unhappy I was and said that he had something that would be able to help, something to turn my frown upside down.”

 

* * *

 

Shuichi sat huddled in the armchair, his face drenched and saturated with the deluge of never ending tears. Once again, his cheek was resting on his knees, but his eyes continued to stare almost lifelessly out the living room window. His mind was numb. He did not want to think anymore. He just wanted to forget everything, especially the fact that the one place he used to think of as home was now off limits. Now he had nowhere to go. He knew Ryuichi and Tatsuha cared about him and that he was always welcomed here, but there was no way they would appreciate a sixteen-year-old-middle-school-drop-out-ex-prostitute living with them. He knew that Ryuichi thought of him like a son, but that did not mean that he was willing to take on that role fulltime.

Ryuichi and Tatsuha sat in stunned silence. Neither knew what to say or think. Both had been suspicious and a little worried about what Shuichi has been doing lately, but neither ever thought…

Ryuichi shook his head violently. He did not want to even go there. He slid to the edge of the couch, licking his dry lips and rubbing his hands together. Running his fingers through his hair, he stared at his feet. With a sigh, he leaned back and rested his head on the back of the couch. He felt antsy. This news had unsettled him and disturbed him greatly. He could not even look at Shuichi anymore. It was like how you never noticed that fat mole on your companion's cheek until someone pointed it out and now that is all you can see. His view of his baby Shu-Shu was tainted and he was not sure if he would ever get it back to normal.

Besides him, Tatsuha sat quietly looking at the boy. He felt bad for him and a little guilty. Ryuichi had entrusted him with the protection and care of Shuichi and he shrugged it off. He always told Ryuichi that he was too over protective and too much of a worrywart. Shuichi was a big boy and could take care of himself. What an idiot he was!

Ryuichi could not take it anymore. His anger could not be contained any longer. Jumping up, he paced the living room in a cloud of fury. He was mad at himself for allowing this to happen, at Shuichi for being such an idiot and at society for pushing the teenager into sinking this low. “I'm very disappointed in you, Shuichi,” Ryuichi bit harshly.

Fresh tears spilled down Shuichi's face. “I'm-“

“Oh, no,” Ryuichi shook his head in annoyance. “Don't go there! Don't you even try to apologize!”

Shuichi shot his brother a death glare. “I'm not! I'm not sorry for what I did!”

“What? I cannot believe you! You're only sixteen fucking years old and you're telling me that you're already a druggie, an alcoholic and-and whoring yourself out and you enjoy doing it?” Ryuichi stomped towards Shuichi and leaned towards him, with a hand on either armrest, effectively barricading his brother in the chair. “What the fuck are you thinking?”

What was he thinking? The same thing he was still thinking: that he could lose himself and pretend he was someone else. Reality took a back seat. But all that was over with thanks to his big mouth. Shuichi buried his face in his hands. His shoulders shook as his sobs wracked his body. Why did he say that? Why had he opened his big mouth? Why? Why? Why? God, if he had not let that asshole Taki get to him, he would not have had that beer and gotten himself drunk. Then he would not have blabbed about Eiri and…Why the bloody hell did he say something about having a baby? Yes, it was a possibility for him to get pregnant, but if he had not discovered a bun in the oven yet, and God knows he had run the risk countless times, there was no way that a one night stand with Tatsuha's drop dead gorgeous twin brother would wind up with him pregnant…right? However, the idea of a baby did not sound half-bad. Maybe things would be different if he were to have a baby.

“Stop it!” Ryuichi snapped angrily in Shuichi's face. “Stop crying,” his voice cracked. Tears filling his eyes. “Dammit, Shuichi! What the hell's wrong with you?” he sobbed. The older male dropped to his knees and hugged Shuichi tightly, forcing Shuichi to drop his legs. Ryuichi pulled away and held Shuichi at arms length. “At least tell me that you used some sort of protection.”

Shuichi glanced away from his brother's penetrating stare.

With tears streaming down his face, Ryuichi stared intently into his brother's dull violet eyes. “How can you be so stupid?”

Shuichi's face contorted in anger. He pushed Ryuichi roughly away which caused the older male to stumble. Shuichi jumped to his feet and glared through tear-blurred vision at the man. “I'm so sorry for being so stupid! You don't have to worry about me doing something stupid like that again because I can't--ever--go--back!”

Regaining himself, Ryuichi jumped to his feet. “You're damn right you aren't going back there!”

Tatsuha stood up from the couch. Laying a hand on his lover's shoulders, he turned towards Shuichi and asked, “Can't or won't?”

Shuichi turned his head away. “Kizou told me to leave and never return,” he admitted truthfully. Tears slowly trailed down Shuichi's face.

“Why?” Tatsuha ignored the glare his boyfriend threw him.

In Ryuichi's mind, as long as his baby Shu-Shu was not going back to that way of life, who cares what the reason was?

“I thought you were…?” Tatsuha could not bring himself to say it. It was like knowing your parents or even you grandparents did indeed have a sex life. He shuddered at the thought.

“The boss's concubine?” Shuichi laughed. He scrubbed his face. “I was, but he…He said I was a freak!”

“Shuichi…”

Ryuichi gazed piteously at his brother. “Shu…Why do you care so much about people who only like you because you deceive them when you have people who love you for who you are?” He strode slowly towards Shuichi and engulfed him in a hug. “We love you. Why can't you be satisfied with that?”

Shuichi pushed away from his brother and stared deeply into his eyes, pleading with him to understand. “Because I need something, someone for me!” A flash of his forbidden blond haired lover popped in his head. A warm glow spread through him, chasing away the chills. His tears dried up and a sparkle livened the dead, dull look in his eyes. “And I did,” Shuichi continued with a soft smile.

The only problem was that, like with Kizou, he kept a vital piece of information from Eiri. There was no telling what the older man would do if he found out the truth. Would Eiri accept him even though he was a freak? Could Eiri truly say that he cared for him because of who he was and not because of what he was, or was not? Or would he kick Shuichi to the corner along with the trash without a second look? All Shuichi had to do was make sure it never came up. It should not be that hard. He grimaced when he remembered the disastrous events of the day before. But that was easily avoidable. All he had to do was not drink and his secret would stay just that, but there was another way for his secret to come up. However, that was easily taken care of as well. Sort of. All he needed was his parent's permission. Once those problems were settled, there was still the question of what to do with Tohma moving the record company to Tokyo. Would Eiri want to leave everything and everyone behind just so he could move to Tokyo to be with him? Shuichi wanted this so badly he could taste it. He wanted to be with Eiri, screw the law and everybody else, but he also wanted this recording contract. Could he have both? Was it possible?

A smile graced Ryuichi's face. “I'm glad.”

Shuichi blinked, snapping out of his thoughts. “Huh?”

Ryuichi pulled Shuichi into a hug. “I'm glad you found someone, Shu. Promise me you will not do anything stupid, okay? You’re only sixteen-years-old and still a kid. Go out there and be one. You have the opportunity to be big.” Ryuichi pulled away slightly and stared intently into the vibrant purple eyes. “Don't do anything to jeopardize that, okay? Promise me.”

Shuichi smile faltered slightly. He was not sure if he could promise his brother that.

Tatsuha stepped forward, saving him from having to answer Ryuichi. “Shu, this person, he wouldn't be…”

Shuichi gulped, suddenly nervous. Had Tatsuha discovered that he was in love with his brother, a man not only six years his senior but someone that could be arrested for statutory rape if caught?

“…the reason you can't go back is it?”

Shuichi was relieved. Tatsuha didn’t know then. “Actually, it is,” he admitted with a blush. He pulled away from his brother and walked to the large window, passing a bamboo-shelving unit that was half-full of stuffed animals that fans had given to Ryuichi over the years. Center stage was a large, fluffy pink bunny that his number one fan had given him the day Nittle Grasper was signed. Ryuichi called him Kumagoro. Go figure. “I let one of the guys get to me. I ended up getting drunk and said something I shouldn’t have to Kizou. He got angry and tossed me out.” Shuichi hoped that neither one of the men asked what it was they argued about. If Ryuichi had been angry before, he would literally explode if he were to know about Shuichi’s suspicions. Shuichi turned back around and smiled at them. “But really, he did me a favor. Yes, I hate myself for getting kicked out the one place I could call home, but…I found something, someone much better.” As long as someone loves me, he thought.

Ryuichi smiled back at the teenager. He was happy for Shuichi. Maybe things were starting to look up. He crossed the room and hugged Shuichi from behind. “You can stay here as long as you like.”

Shuichi blinked. He pulled away from Ryuichi and turned to look at him in shock. “Really?”

“Really,” Tatsuha said.

Shuichi glanced at the Eiri clone and then at his brother. Tears gathered in his eyes. He flung himself at his brother and hugged him tightly. “Thank you.” He pulled away and glanced at the elder man uncertainly. “I won't be in the way? Or-?”

Ryuichi shook his head. “We want you here, Shu. We’re a family. I won't turn you out.” He enveloped Shuichi in another hug. “But you’ll have to pull your weight around here, alright? You can't just disappear whenever you like and stay out all night like you used to, alright?”

The pink haired singer nodded enthusiastically. He had a feeling his brother was going to be just as stifling, or maybe even more so than normal, but strangely, Shuichi did not mind. As long as someone loves me, he thought again.

 

* * *

 

**One Week Later**

The Miharu Kissaten was an elegant, formal restaurant where the main course consisted of a bite-sized piece of food for more money than an average middle class family of four made in a year. Most of the employees were brought in from outside the country so the place seemed more exotic than it actually was. The waiting list to just be able to sit at the bar was two years. The Miharu Kissaten was located in a growing ritzy section of Kyoto. It was the Japanese equivalent of Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills with the plushy hotels, designer clothing stores and restaurants only the very wealthy could afford. This was the place to see and be seen. How Tohma Seguchi was able to reserve a table for eleven on one of the busiest nights of the week with only a week in advance, was something to truly marvel at. It also showed just how much of a name the keyboardist was making for himself.

Tatsuha, Ryuichi and Shuichi piled out of the SUV and headed into the restaurant. Once there, a valet took the keys from Tatsuha and went to park the silver vehicle.

Shuichi had never been so nervous in his entire life. It felt as if a bunch of butterflies were fluttering around inside his stomach. He was also slightly lightheaded and his hands felt clammy. Either he had a bad case of stage fright or he was getting sick. He hoped it was first, because the latter would just plain suck.

Tatsuha walked up to the hostess and announced what party they were with. The woman gave them a quick once over and escorted them through the dimly lit bar and out into the dining room to a large table in the far corner hidden by free standing shoji doors and trellises.

“You're waitress will be right with you,” the tall skinny red head told them with a thick accent and a small bow. She turned and returned to her post.

They were the first ones to arrive. Tatsuha and Ryuichi sat on the far side of the table, opposite the entranceway. Shuichi sat besides his brother, feeling even more nauseous than before. His stomach continued to churn. He took deep, even breathes in order to calm himself down. To take his mind off how horrible he was feeling Shuichi studied the restaurant.

The restaurant was a decent sized place. The dining floor had enough seating for the establishment to appear full but still able to give each table enough privacy so you could speak without being overheard by your neighbor. Each table had a softly glowing candle and a single flower. The place was full but there was only a low din, as if everyone was whispering.

Shuichi looked up and saw two tall males heading towards them. A smile brightened his face. He pushed to his feet as his best friend stopped by the table. “Hiro,” he cried happily.

At his cry, Ryuichi and Tatsuha looked up and spotted the newcomers approaching their table.

Shuichi rounded the table and flung himself at the taller teenager. “It's so good to see you!”

Surprised, Hiro staggered backwards. Regaining his balance, he patted his friends back. “Hey, Shuichi.” Hiro pulled away from the human leech and turned towards the other male accompanying him. He introduced him to the others as his brother Yuji.

Shuichi caught sight of another familiar face and excused himself. He smiled widely as he approached Suguru who was just arriving with his parents. He flung himself at the smaller man. Caught off guard, Suguru blinked. Unsure what to do, his hands were left dangling lifelessly at his side. After what seemed like eternity, Suguru pulled away and stepped aside. He swept his hand at the older couple behind him. “Shuichi, these are my parents. Mom, Dad, this is Shuichi Shindou. He's the lead singer of Bad Luck.”

The elder Fujisakis nodded.

Shuichi bowed politely back. “Pleasure to meet you.”

Catching sight of Hiro over Shuichi's shoulder, Suguru excused himself and steered his parents over towards the others.

Shuichi turned and studied the group with a smile. Bad Luck had taken a much-needed break since they won the battle of the bands last weekend and Shuichi was eager to get tonight over with and get back into the studio.

It would also be the first time seeing his parents in about two weeks. Not surprisingly, he was not that eager to see them.

Shuichi had to admit that the one thing he enjoyed about not living at Kizou's place anymore was the fact that he could sleep peacefully without wondering if he was going to wake up with someone's hands down his pants. He liked not having to worry about tiptoeing around. In the week he has been living at his brother's house, he has felt better than he has in a very long time.

The only worry that lingered was whether he would ever see Eiri again and if the man would snub him or accept him. Would Eiri pretend their one night of pleasure never happened? Or would Eiri smile and take him into his arms? The thought of his blond haired lover tossing him on the streets left him cold. The thought of approaching Eiri to discover which path the writer would take sent his stomach into a nervous twitch.

Shuichi swallowed continuously as bile filled his mouth. He felt lightheaded once again. He took deep, even breathes and placed a hand on his forehead.

“Hey, Shuichi, you look kinda pale. Are you feeling alright?” asked a sudden voice from besides him.

Shuichi opened eyes he did not remember closing and dropped his arms. He forced himself to smile at Hiro. “Fine,” he nodded. “Just a little nervous.”

Hiro squinted suspiciously at is friend.

Suddenly, it felt like Shuichi was going to be sick. Excusing himself, he raced across the dining room, through the bar and vanished out into the foyer.

Hiro frowned after his green friend. He looked up and saw Suguru approaching, a questioning expression on his face.

“What's wrong with him?” the keyboardist asked.

“No idea,” Hiro said truthfully.

 

* * *

 

Shuichi flung open the bathroom door, hearing it crash into the wall with a loud thud and veered into the nearest stall. He collapsed to his knees, not bothering to lock the stall door and emptied the contents of his stomach.

A man standing at the sink washing his hands lifted his head and squinted at the boy's hunched form in the mirror. A disgusted sneer curled his lips. The kid's heaves echoed in the pristine bathroom.

Disgusting, he thought to himself.

Shuichi spit into the toilet and sat back. Resting his back against the side of the stall, he closed his eyes. He heard the auto flush get rid of all evidence of his upset stomach. He placed a shaking hand over his stomach as it continued to flip.

Sighing, he slowly stood up and walked shakily to the sink. He placed his hands under the faucet and almost immediately, the water came on. He splashed water on his face and then using his cupped hands as a bowl, rinsed out his mouth. Splashing his face once more, he lifted his head and gazed at his expression in the mirror. Water dripped from his chin.

He blinked when a hand holding a white round object was suddenly thrust in front of his face. Straightening, he took it and turned to see who was being so generous.

“You should carry mints if you have such a weak stomach,” informed a deep voice.

Shuichi tensed. Slowly he raised his head and came face to face with the most gorgeous and exotic golden hazel eyes he had ever seen in his life, eyes that had haunted him for the past week. His breath caught and his heart skipped a beat. With a mind gone blank and a mouth that felt as if it was full of cotton, Shuichi could only gap at the man.

Eiri gave the boy a once over, secretly applauding his dinner attire. Shuichi was wearing a pair of nice, straight lined black suit pants with a matching jacket and tie over a light, dusty blue button down shirt.

He raised an eyebrow in amusement as he noticed how tongue-tied his little lover was. With a smirk, he gave into temptation and traced a droplet of water down the boy's cheek with a finger.

Shuichi sighed and tilted his head into the warm touch of Eiri's hand. His heart started racing when Eiri leaned in towards him. A blush flushed across his cheeks as Eiri's warm breath caressed his cheek.

“You should dry your face,” Eiri whispered.

Shuichi shivered.

With a self-satisfied smile, the writer patted Shuichi’s shoulder as he walked out of the bathroom.

Shuichi stood frozen, rooted in place, hearing the man who had stolen his heart walk out on him once again. His mind screamed for him to chase after him, to not let him go! His heart ached at the thought of finally getting this close to the man of his dreams only to let him slip through his fingers. Afraid he might never get this chance again; Shuichi turned on his heel and tore out of the bathroom. Panting and feeling a surge of panic race through him, he stood just inside the bar and scanned the patrons.

“Excuse me sir? Is everything okay?” asked a heavily accented male voice from behind him.

Shuichi turned towards a man who looked like he was a waiter. “Yes, I'm looking for a tall blond man. Did he come this way?”

The waiter nodded. “Of course sir. He just left.” He pointed out the front door.

“Thank you,” Shuichi cried as he tore through the foyer and out into the parking lot. He scanned the lot and spotted Eiri just as the older man reached his car. With a renewed burst of energy, Shuichi raced across the parking lot. “Eiri! Eiri! Wait! Please, stop!”

Eiri pressed the car fob and heard the car doors unlock. He opened the car door and started to slip inside when he heard a familiar voice calling out to him. Half in and half out of the car, Eiri glanced over his shoulder and saw a blur of color speeding towards him. Stepping back out of the car, Eiri took a step forward and suddenly found an extra hundred pounds strapped around his waist.

Shuichi stood up on his tiptoes and cradled Eiri's face with his hands. He kissed the older man roughly. He asked for permission to deepen it by running his tongue along his bottom lip.

Eiri got over his surprise and wrapped his arms around Shuichi's waist. Willingly, he opened his mouth and allowed the boy to explore to his hearts content. He had a feeling he now had the answer to that question that has been hounding him all week.

 

* * *

 

Hiro frowned after his green friend. He looked up and saw Suguru approaching with a questioning expression on his face.

“What's wrong with him?” the keyboardist asked.

“No idea,” Hiro said truthfully.

“I wonder if he's sick,” Suguru wondered aloud.

Hiro was not so sure that Shuichi was sick. This was not something new. Though Shuichi tried to keep it a secret, Hiro knew that his friend suffered from stage fright. It got so bad he would get physically sick right before a show, but he always sucked it up and went on. Hiro wondered if this was one of those times, but what was there to be nervous about? All they needed was their parent's permission in order to sign with NG Productions and he knew Mr. Shindou would readily agree, if for nothing more than to get the boy out of his hair. So, if it was not nerves, Suguru was probably right. Shuichi was most likely sick, but something just did not seem right about that assessment.

A tap on his shoulder brought Hiro back out of his thoughts. He looked up and following Suguru's pointing finger, was only half-surprised to see the new arrivals. He stepped forward and bowed. “Mr. Shindou. Mrs. Shindou,” he greeted.

Mrs. Shindou inclined her head. “Hiroshi. Suguru.”

“Good evening,” Suguru bowed. “It's good to see you again.”

Mr. Shindou, a stern expression on his face, remained silent.

“Good evening everyone,” Tohma Seguchi greeted as he appeared seemingly out of nowhere. He glanced at the gathered group. “It appears everyone's here. If you would all please take a seat, we can get this meeting underway.” He gave them his patent smile and moved to his place at the head of the table. The others soon followed, smiling, greeting and introducing themselves.

As Hiro took his seat besides his brother, Mrs. Shindou turned towards him and whispered, “Where is Shuichi?”

“Shuichi?” Hiro glanced around and noticed that his friend had not yet returned from the bathroom. Suguru caught his eye and threw him a questioning glace. Hiro shook his head. “He went to the bathroom.” Maybe he was sick after all. Standing up, Hiro excused himself and headed towards the bathroom. As he stepped out into the bar area, which also served as the waiting room, he saw a black and pink blur race by. “Shu?” He trotted out of the bar into the foyer just in time to see the back of a diminutive black suited man with pink hair. It was definitely Shuichi. No one else he knew had pink hair.

Out in the parking lot, Hiro glanced around and was just about to give up and go back inside when he saw him. Hiro did a double take, blinking in surprise. “Shuichi?”

 

* * *

 

Shuichi moaned into Eiri's mouth. He wrapped his arms around Eiri’s neck and fingered the dirty blond locks.  
  
Eiri's hands groped Shuichi's ass and pulled the boy roughly against him.

Shuichi broke the kiss with a gasp.

Eiri hissed at the erotic sensation that rushed through him as their hardened cocks rubbed together through the thin layers of their pants. A need so great poured over him. God, he wanted this boy. He could not believe his good luck. It had to be more than just a coincidence that he just happened to run into the one person who seemed to have done the impossible, stolen his heart. Eiri leaned forward and gave Shuichi a chaste kiss on the lips, but kept his tight hold on him as he leaned back against the side of his car. “Well…” He studied his young lover. His eyes roaming over his boyish yet effeminate features. His large amethyst eyes, those lush, pink lips, that long tan neck…It took everything Eiri had not to ravish the boy right there and then.

Shuichi felt himself growing embarrassed under Eiri's intense gaze. He dropped his eyes, blushing deeply.

To get him mind off what his other head wanted to do, Eiri wondered aloud, “I don't think I told you my name.”

Shuichi shook his head, confirming Eiri's suspicions. “You didn't.”

“Oh?” Eiri cocked an eyebrow in curiosity. “What did you do? Go to the library and conduct some research?” he joked. He was not even sure if Shuichi knew where the nearest library was.

Feeling himself blushing once again, Shuichi shook his head. “No. I asked your brother.”

Eiri nearly choked. He pulled the singer away and glared at him suspiciously. “My brother? How do you know Tatsuha?” he demanded, feeling the first stirring of jealousy.

Hearing the possessive tone that the writer had not managed or bothered to hide, Shuichi stared at him curiously. “He's dating my brother,” he answered with a tone that clearly said that Eiri had just asked a stupid question.

Eiri blinked in confusion.

Realizing what it was he just said Shuichi's eyes widened in realization. He gasped and slapped a hand over his mouth. What was wrong with him? If it got out that he was related to the great rock god Ryuichi Sakuma…

“So the rumors are true then,” Eiri chuckled.

Shuichi dropped his hand and stared at the older man with large pleading eyes. “Promise you won't tell anyone? Nobody can know! If-!”

Eiri kissed the teen to shut him up. He smiled, thinking how cute Shuichi was when he was blushing. “I promise.”

Suddenly it felt as if he were being watched. Eiri looked up and saw a man dressed formally in a black suit with a green T-shirt with an obscure decal under an open button down shirt. His long reddish-brown hair was pulled neatly in a ponytail. He looked familiar but Eiri could not…Ah! The guitarist.

“It looks like we have an audience,” he told Shuichi matter-of-fact.

An audience? Shuichi dropped his arms and glanced over his shoulder curiously. There standing outside the restaurant and watching them was Hiro. Cursing soundly, Shuichi flung himself away from Eiri, his eyes wide in disbelief and horror. This was not happening! How long had he been standing there? How much had he seen? Oh, God!

Eiri frowned at the expression that crossed his young love's face. He tapped Shuichi under his chin, forcing his eyes from the panicky sight of his friend. “Hey, hey,” he said. He was not sure if it was just to quell the fear that engulfed the boy when he realized they had been caught or if Eiri just wanted Shuichi's eyes on him or a combination of both.

Shuichi forced himself to look away from Hiro. Licking his lips, he glanced up at the man who had stolen his heart with a mask of anxiety strapped across his face.

“Don't worry about him,” Eiri told the boy.

“But-!”

Eiri cupped Shuichi's chin and stared deeply into his eyes. “Don't worry about him,” he stated firmly. He fingered the boy's hair, watching with a tender gaze as the soft pink tresses slipped through his fingers. “He can't see us from over there. He only knows it's you because you're the only idiot walking around with pink hair.”

A surge of relief rushed over Shuichi. The last thing he needed was for Hiro to find out his newest lover was none other than Mr. Romance Novelist, a man six years his senior, a man twenty-two to his mere sixteen. If Hiro discovered the truth, it would no sooner reach Ryuichi and then all hell would break loose.

Shuichi froze, just realizing Eiri had insulted him. He shot Eiri a heated glare. “Hey!”

Eiri snorted and shook his head. His lover was just a little slow on the uptake. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught movement. Lifting his head, he frowned. The red head was coming towards them.

Shuichi glanced over his shoulder. With a suddenly rapidly beating heart, Shuichi turned a face full of trepidation towards the blond writer. Grabbing Eiri's shirt, Shuichi searched his face with large pleading eyes. “You have to go before he sees you!” Shuichi glanced quickly over his shoulder. “Please, Eiri!” Tears welled in his eyes, blurring his sight.

With a sudden scowl, Eiri pried Shuichi's hands from him. Straightening his suit, he glared at Shuichi in annoyance. “So that's how it's going to be?”

Shuichi blinked at him in confusion. A stray tear rolled down his cheek. “Wha-?”

Eiri shoved away from the kid and flung open the car door with enough force to rip it off its hinges. “I'm not going to be something you keep hidden away, Shuichi. I'm not going to pretend to be friends with you in public.”

He was sliding into the car when Shuichi realized that Eiri somehow misunderstood him. “No! No! No! No! No,” Shuichi cried, jumping forward and grabbing Eiri's arm. “You don't understand!” He took a quick glance over his shoulder. Hiro was halfway across the lot.

Eiri shook off Shuichi's hand and slid all the way in the car. “I do understand,” he shot back, hurt. “You obviously are ashamed to be seen with me. Why else-?”

“Dammit, that's not it, you asshole!” With tears trickling down his face, the teen searched Eiri's face frantically. He had to make him understand. “You're so quick to dismiss the fact that I'm only sixteen, but if they find out you're not only dating a minor but sleeping with one, you…Please! Eiri! Please!”

That was what this whole thing was about? The idiot was afraid for him. Eiri sighed, shaking his head. “Unbelievable,” he muttered. Picking up his sunglasses from the console between the driver's and passenger seats, he slipped them on.

“Please, Eiri! Please,” Shuichi was begging repeatedly.

Eiri leaned out the window and crooked a finger come hither. Wiping away his tears, Shuichi bent down and watched Eiri lean towards him until their lips touched.

Shuichi gasped, his eyes widening in shock.

Before he could get over his astonishment, Eiri pulled back. “Two hours,” he told his young lover. “Meet me at the corner,” he indicated out through the windshield.

A bright smile illuminated Shuichi's face. He stepped back and nodded energetically.

Eiri started the car. “Two hours,” he reminded him.

Shuichi nodded again, still smiling.

Eiri nodded back and pulled away with a loud squeal after one last scornful gaze at the boy who needed a haircut.

“Who was that?” came a sudden emotionless voice behind Shuichi.

Startled, Shuichi jumped with a muffled gasp. What was he supposed to tell Hiro? He could not tell him the truth. He could not take the risk that this information would fall into the wrong hands. “Uhm…nobody?” Shuichi watched until the black car vanished from sight. A huge smile on his face, Shuichi turned around and dropped his arms around his friend's shoulders. “C'mon,” he said happily, as he steered Hiro back to the restaurant. “Let's get back inside before the others send out a search party.”

Humming happily, Shuichi skipped ahead.

Hiro frowned after him, unsure if he should press the issue or not.

 

* * *

 

Over a light, but expensive dinner, Tohma Seguchi explained to everyone present about the changes taking place within the record company.

The biggest ones were the new corporate headquarters being moved to Tokyo within a year's time, which meant that the boys would have to be pulled out of school. Mr. and Mrs. Fujisaki were outraged at the idea. After Tohma assured his aunt and uncle he would hire the very best tutor so their son, as well as Mr. Nakano, could finish their studies, they consented, albeit reluctantly. He also informed them that he was able to secure a building in the heart of Tokyo that would be perfect for the new NG corporate headquarters. The whole building needed to be gutted and remodeled to accommodate the change, but Tohma was certain everything would be set for the grand opening next year. Lastly, he told them that appropriate housing would be secured for everyone before the official move.

Hiro had to admit that Tohma Seguchi was a very efficient and thorough man.

Tohma than passed out copies of the contract to everyone to look over and explained in agonizing detail what he expected from the band and what they should expect from him and the business in general.

Everything flowed in one ear and out the other for Shuichi though. The only thing of interest to him was the time.

Hiro also had a hard time paying attention. He kept glancing at Shuichi, wondering just what was going on with his friend. He noticed that Shuichi kept glancing at his watch and became increasingly fidgety as the meeting wore on. He wondered if Shuichi was supposed to meet up with that guy he had seen his friend with.

He was extremely curious as to whom that blond man was. Hiro had been too far away to get a good look at the guy and by the time he was close enough, the guy had raced off. The one thing Hiro was sure of was that this man, whoever he was, was older than his friend was. It was either that or the guy just happened to appear older than he looked. If it was the former, he hoped Shuichi knew what he was getting himself into.

As for Shuichi, he had undergone a magical transformation. For as long as Hiro has known him, Shuichi has been moody and distant. He hardly ever smiled and when he did, it always seemed to be forced. There had been moments when Shuichi acted like a complete goofball, but that never seemed real either, but now Shuichi's eyes were bright and he was smiling. The boy was actually smiling a real smile. It lit his face and gave him a healthy glow. He was like a kid in a candy store. And it was all thanks to this mystery man. Shuichi went from a gloomy-put-on-a-smile-because-it's-required friend into this happy-carefree boy. Hiro was happy for his friend, but at the same time, he could not help but feel just a little uneasy about this mystery guy.

Speaking of which, when had Shuichi been into guys? He was not sure what surprised him more, the fact that anyone could make Shuichi look like he won the lottery or the fact that the one responsible was a man. He had seen men hitting on Shuichi on more than one occasion and Shuichi in turn flirted back. Shuichi teased Suguru all the time, but never had it crossed Hiro’s mind that it was anything other than a little innocent fun. Hiro shook his head. Gay or not, it was obvious this mystery man made his friend happy. That was all he ever wanted for Shuichi.

Before he knew it, dinner was over and contracts were being signed. Happily and astonishingly all parties agreed with the terms presented and as Hiro's turn came to sign the contract, he could not help but feel as if this whole thing was a dream. It seemed so surreal, like a fantasy. He had a hard time believing it was actually happening.

“Well,” Tohma was saying as the congratulatories and tears were passed around. “Tomorrow, I have to go to dinner at my father-in-law's house-”

Tatsuha made a gagging, retching noise to Ryuichi. The last thing he wanted was to step foot in that damned house again, but he did not have a good enough reason to stay home.

“-but if you should have any questions, do feel free to give me a call. You should have my home and cell number,” Tohma continued without any indication of having heard Tatsuha. “And if that's it, I'll wish you all a very good night.” With a bow, he turned to leave, but remembered something and turned back around. “Oh, and Bad Luck, I expect you to be at the studio first thing Monday morning,” he ordered with a bright smile. “Good night.”

“Night,” everyone returned.

 

* * *

 

In the parking lot a couple minutes later, Shuichi waved as the Fujisakis turned out of the parking lot. He then headed towards his brother and Tatsuha who were talking with Hiro and his brother, Yuji, when someone called his name. He glanced over his shoulder and saw his mother heading towards him with a familiar bag in her hand.

Over her shoulder, he saw his father sitting in the car, fiddling with something on the console. His father said not one word to Shuichi the entire night. He hadn’t even acknowledge his presence. It was nothing new, but it still hurt.

Shuichi turned his attention back to the bag his mother was holding. A bright smile flashed across his face. He thought he would never see it again! When Kizou tossed him out last week, he was forced to leave everything behind.

Mrs. Shindou walked up to her son and handed him the bag. “This was dropped off at the house the other day by some boy. I believe he said his name was Narata. Said he was a friend of yours. He also said to tell you, ‘sorry'.”

Shuichi took his bag with a sad smile.

Narata was a good guy. He was one of the few people he knew from Kizou’s little band of hangers-on who he could honestly say was a friend. He was also the only one who had figured out he was a neutral. Narata was the only person who accepted him for who and what he really was. It was rare and Shuichi coveted his friendship. It was the only aspect Shuichi could truly say he missed about hanging out with Kizou.

Strangely enough, ever since he came to the realization that he wanted both Eiri and the contract Tohma had decided to honor, he has not once felt the urge to take those damn pills. He hadn’t even thought about them until now. Besides, according to Kizou, they were nothing more than placebo's anyway.

_Shuichi turned his head when he felt the weight on the bed shift and watched as a naked Kizou waltzed across the bedroom to the dresser. The older man grabbed an unlabeled orange prescription pill bottle filled with little white pills and walking back to the bed, tossed it to him._

_Sitting up, Shuichi caught the bottle, hearing the pills jangle loudly. He folded his legs under the sheet that covered the lower half of his body and studied the bottle as if it could tell him all the secrets of the universe. “What are these exactly?” Shuichi asked. He looked up when the older man slid back under the sheets._

_“Nothing,” Kizou said. He lay back, folding one arm behind his head and pulling Shuichi down with the other. He held the boy securely to his side._

_Shuichi frowned. “Nothing?” He propped himself up on an elbow. “Come on. There must be speed, ice, glass, crystal, crank…something in these pills.”_

_Kizou shook his head to each._

_“Kizou, nothing does not make me feel like I can fly.”_

_The older man shrugged as he pulled Shuichi back down. “They're placebos. A bunch of nothing.”_

_Shuichi rested his head against Kizou's chest and studied the bottle of pills. He was not sure if he believed him._

Kizou never did go into any specific details about the ingredients in the pills. He’d either ignored the question and changed the subject or got very angry. The only thing he would ever say about them was that they were “placebos”. If that was the case, then why did the man give them to him in the first place? And why did they seem to make him feel as if he could do anything?

“Do you know this boy?”

Shuichi snapped out of his thoughts. “Huh? Oh, yeah.”

Mrs. Shindou nodded. “Alright. Are…Are you staying with Ryuichi tonight?”

“I don't know,” he admitted truthfully. An image of Eiri flashed through his mind. “A--friend wants to hang out later.”

“Okay.”

Shuichi and his mother glanced quickly at the elder Shindou as an angry honk echoed in the air. “Let's go,” came the impatient shout.

Mrs. Shindou turned back around and threw her son an apologetic smile. “Take care Shuichi and don't cause your brother too much trouble.” She hugged her son briefly. As she started to walk away, Shuichi called out to her. She stopped and turned around, watching her son trot after her.

“I, uh…” Shuichi was suddenly very nervous and a little embarrassed to be bringing something like this up, especially to his mother. Part of him wanted to say “screw it” and forget the whole thing. Unable to meet his mother's innocently naïve gaze, he dropped his head and fidgeted. “I need to go to the doctor's,” he blurted out.

“Alright,” Mrs. Shindou nodded. “I'll call your doctor on Monday.”

“No, Mom,” Shuichi shook his head exasperated. “Not that doctor.” She was making this so much harder.

Mrs. Shindou blinked. “Then what doctor? Are your allergies-?”

Shuichi sighed loudly. “No, Mom! I need to get birth control!” Realizing what he just said, his eyes got huge and he slapped a hand over his mouth. He glanced around to see if anyone had overheard him. He was relieved to see that no one had.

His mother's eyes were wide in her pale face. She stared at her son in horror and shock, as if he just spewed blasphemy. “B-birth c-con…control?” Clearing her throat, she tried to compose herself. “Why would you need you get,” she closed her eyes and stuttered, “b-b-birth control?” She said the last like it was painful.

Shuichi rolled his eyes. “Well, I don't have to get it. I mean, if you want to be a grandma…”

Mrs. Shindou went white. Shaking herself, she chuckled lightly, but still looked ill. “Oh, you mean for your girlfriend?”

Shuichi blushed, thinking about Eiri. “No, Mom, for me.”

His mother choked. “For you? B-b-but why…You're a guy, Shuichi. Only woman get b-birth control.” She chuckled again and hugged her boy tightly. “Besides, your only 16, still a child. If you're going to have sex, you should wait until you meet the right girl and get married.” She pulled away and studied him intently. “Is there a girl you like? Are your friends pressuring you into-?”

“Mo~om,” Shuichi cried frustrated. He pulled away from her and stared at her incredibly. He could not believe what he was hearing! “What are you saying? Mom, I'm not a-”

“Let's go! I have to get up early and go to work,” came the angry shout.

Mrs. Shindou waved to her husband then turned back towards her son. She lightly stroked his cheek. “I love you, Shuichi.” She kissed him on the forehead. “Be good and stay out of trouble.”

“But, Mom! Mom, wait! Mom!”

Shuichi watched as his mother crossed the parking lot to her husband's car. She waved one last time, threw him a kiss and slid inside. His father peeled out of the parking lot like a demon was hot on his trail. Shuichi was left speechless and dumbfounded. Was that truly how his mother thought of him? Was that the only reason why she was not like his father who completely ignored his very existence? Because she was deluding herself?

 

* * *

 

Shuichi slowly walked over to his brother, still troubled over the conversation he had with his mother.

“Come on. Let's get out of here. It's getting late,” Ryuichi called out to him.

Shuichi blinked and lifted his head. “Huh?” His eyes widened. “Shit! What time is it?”

Tatsuha glanced at his watch. “Just about eight, why?”

“Fuck! I gotta go!” Shuichi took off across the parking lot. He had to get to the corner and fast.

“Shuichi,” Ryuichi called after him. “Where're you going?”

Shuichi stumbled, but did not slow down. “Uh…” What could he say that would please his overprotective brother? “Going to hang out with a friend!”

“Don't stay out too long! Be sure to call!”

Shuichi waved his brother's concern aside as he vanished out of the lot and tore down the street, weaving and darting in and out of the light throng of people.

The street seemed to stretch out before him and go on forever. No matter how long he ran, the corner never seemed to get any closer. Finally, after what seemed like forever, Shuichi came to the light at the end of the tunnel. Skidding to a halt, Shuichi stood at the street corner like he had been instructed. He doubled over with his hands on his knees and panted heavily. Gulping, he took a deep breath and slowly exhaled as he tried to slow his racing heart.

Straightening, he glanced around the intersection. He loosened his tie and undid the top few buttons of his shirt. He did not see Eiri or his car. Was he early or was he already too late? Had he missed Eiri? God, let him be early! He had been given another chance, a second opportunity here. If he blew it, he would never forgive himself. Squinting, he gazed down the street and thought he saw a familiar looking black car heading his way. Shuichi's heart fluttered in his chest. He bounced slightly in anticipation with a huge smile on his face. Thank God, he had not missed him!

Suddenly, the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. He tensed as he sensed someone approaching him from behind. Before he could do anything, arms encircled his waist and pulled him none-too-gently backwards to a muscular chest.

 

**…To Be Continued…**


	4. The Second Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inserted: “Visions of Flames” theme song from Mirage of Blaze OVA

**Chapter 4: The Second Chance**

“I heard,” whispered a deep voice in his ear, “you got yourself a new guy and-” a hand slid down Shuichi's abdomen, “-that you got yourself pregnant.” The other hand slid down to Shuichi's thigh. “Is that true?”

Shuichi was frozen. He could not move. He could not speak.

“Ya know, I don't like the idea of sharing you with another guy.”

Gulping, Shuichi managed to stutter nervously, “T-Taki…”

“I never said anything to Kizou because well, ya know, he's the boss man. He could ring my neck with his pinkie.” Taki held up his finger to emphasize his point. Securing his hold once again, he leaned his chin on Shuichi's shoulder. “So…is it true? Did a one night stand create a little Shuichi?”

“N-no,” Shuichi stammered. “I-I was d-drunk.” He regretted it as soon as it left his mouth.

Taki stood up and draped an arm around the boy's shoulders. “Drunk, huh?” He scratched his cheek. “Ya know it's impossible to lie while intoxicated. People's true nature comes out when they're drunk. Or so they say.”

Shuichi gulped, thinking fast. “I-I…I…It was w-wishful thinking.”

“Wishful thinking, huh?” Taki thought about that before nodding. “I guess that makes sense.” His free hand cupped Shuichi's chin. His fingers stroked Shuichi’s cheek gently. “Seeing as you're not loved by even the members of your own family, the idea of making your own that will has got to be pretty appealing.”

That hurt because it was true. Shuichi had been thinking the very same thing last week.

Taki dropped his hand from Shuichi's face and laid both of his hands on the boy's abdomen. “Ya know, if you are pregnant, it could be mine,” he whispered in Shuichi's ear.

A shudder ran down Shuichi's spine. The idea of carrying this creep's child disgusted him, even though the older man was right, just like the hand that was slowly creeping down his abdomen. Without thinking, he snatched Taki's hand that was just shy of his crotch and elbowed him in the gut with his other arm.

Taki grunted as the wind was knocked out of him and doubled over in pain. His hold loosened as he staggered backwards.

Shuichi stepped away from Taki and glared hatefully at the man. “Don't touch me,” he hissed. “You have no rights to me anymore!”

Neither one was certain who was more surprised with his sudden and unexpected outburst.

Taken back, Taki blinked. Only once before in the year he has known this boy had Shuichi ever stood up to him and that was last week right before Kizou banned the boy from the “compound”. Shuichi, maybe, struck him once since they meet, which happened when he had forcibly taken the boy that first night. This would be the second time. He had to admit he liked the boy's spunk, but he could do without the attitude. He scowled angrily as he got his wits about him. He straightened, rubbing his sore stomach. “Why you filthy little…” He raised his hand and brought it back. “I'll teach you to smart off to me!”

Shuichi gasped, his eyes widening in fright. He squeezed them closed and turned his head aside as his body prepared itself.

Taki swung his hand down but suddenly found it restrained by a vise-like grip. “Huh? What the…?” He glanced behind him and came face to face with a pale, blond man hiding behind a pair of dark sunglasses. “Who the hell are you? Let me go!” He tugged futilely against the impenetrable hold on his wrist.

Shuichi pried open an eye to see what was going on and gasped. “Eiri,” he cried out in surprise.

Taki glanced at Shuichi and then back at his captor. A smile tilted his lips. “So, you're the new guy, huh?” he asked slyly. He gave Eiri the once over and scoffed with a sniff. What was so special about this guy? He did not even appear to be Japanese. If anything, he looked Caucasian. He was tall, had a fair complexion, smelled like stale cigarettes and had this cold, hard look to him. How could his Shuichi fall for someone like this when he had him, Taki Aizawa, tall, dark and handsome? “How does it feel to know you have spoiled goods?” he hissed into the man’s face.

Eiri growled, his scowl deepening. He had no idea who this guy was but he hated the sight of him already. He twisted Taki's arm and forced it behind his back. Ignoring the man's hisses and small yelp's of pain, Eiri brought the guy around and smashed him face first into the nearest building.

Shocked at the brutality, Shuichi gasped. His hands flew to his mouth. He watched with wide-eyed horrific fascination as Eiri wrenched Taki's arm farther behind his back. Eiri acted more like a Yakuza than Kizou did and Kizou had been born and raised into the business.

Eiri leaned forward until his lips rested against Taki's ear. “Touch him again and you're a dead man,” he hissed. Shoving Taki into the building, Eiri let him go and backed away.

Shuichi raced forward and latched onto Eiri’s arm, half-hiding behind him.

Taki turned around, favoring his sore arm. He glowered at the couple. “I won't forget this,” he promised.

The stoic writer slipped off his sunglasses and took a menacing step forward. His golden hazel eyes bore coldly into the dark, angry eyes of the other singer. “You come near him, speak to him, come into contact with him in any way, shape or form and I--will--kill you.”

That got Shuichi's attention. Blinking, he let go of Eiri and stared at him in shock. Was it possible to be terrified and turned on at the same time?

Taki paled.

Eiri grabbed Shuichi’s hand and dragged him to the car as he slipped his sunglasses back on. “Get in,” he ordered.

Shuichi raced around the black car and flung himself into the passenger seat as Eiri slid calmly behind the wheel and started the engine. He peeled away from the curb before Shuichi had a chance to put on his seat belt and swung into traffic with such force that it threw Shuichi across the front seat, spilling him into Eiri's lap.

Eiri threw him an irritated look.

Blushing, Shuichi sat back in his seat. “Sorry.” He put on his seat belt, glanced at Eiri out of the corner of his eye and felt his heart drop. Was Eiri angry with him? Had he done something wrong? Dropping his head, Shuichi stared at the bag in his lap. “Thank you…for what you did back there.”

Eiri said nothing. Instead, he pressed a button on the door arm and the locks in the car clicked simultaneously. He then switched on the air conditioning. Immediately, cold air blasted out of the vents. The temperature dropped instantaneously.

Shuichi turned with a sigh to stare out the window. Guess Eiri was not feeling very talkative, he thought. He did not like it when people ignored him and also did not like the idea that he might have done something to upset his lover. Tears blurred his eyes and his throat clogged with tears. Maybe this had been a bad idea.

Slowing as a light turned red, Eiri grabbed his pack of cigarettes from the middle console and clamped a cigarette between his lips. Lighting it, he cracked open the driver's side window. “Who is he?” Eiri demanded unexpectedly. He blew a thin stream of smoke out the window.

With the threat of tears his eyes, Shuichi turned to look at him in confusion. “Huh? Who?”

“That guy back there. Who was he? What did he mean by ‘spoiled goods'?”

Hearing the blatant jealousy in Eiri's voice, Shuichi was thrown at first, but then a smile crept across his face. Was that why he was so angry? Because he was jealous? The heavy veil of depression that had settled over Shuichi, lifted.

Eiri growled, “Who was he?”

His smile wilted and died. Shuichi had a feeling this would come up eventually. He turned to stare out the passenger door window, but did not see the cityscape flying by. Resting his elbow on the door, he pillowed his cheek on his knuckles. “Taki Aizawa, lead singer of ASK,” he said softly in an even, matter-of-fact tone. “I met him a year ago at Kizou's place. Bastard is a fucking leech. Wouldn't leave me alone.”

“Who's Kizou?” Eiri asked around his cigarette as the light turned green.

“The boss.”

Eiri raised an eyebrow in question.

“Drug lord, ammunition and weaponry specialist and pimp.”

Startled, Eiri shortly lost control of the car and his cigarette dropped into his lap.

Shuichi gasped and grabbed hold of the door handle, growing pale and the car swerved drunkenly across the road.

Cursing, Eiri swerved the car back into the proper lane, narrowly avoiding an oncoming car. He grabbed the cancer stick that was burning a hole in his expensive leather seats. He crushed it out in the ashtray and brushed the ashes onto the floor. “Excuse me?” he demanded.

Shuichi blushed. “I was his--lover,” he admitted. “In exchange, I would get access to any of the drugs I wanted and the others were supposed to leave me alone because I was--the boss's property.” He sighed. “Of course they didn’t listen to him, but they were usually more discreet, gentle, treated me real nice. They usually bought me things, protected me...” Shuichi smiled softly. “Didn’t want the boss to cut off their balls…Then there is Taki...” Shuichi shuttered. “That first night, when Kizou ran out to meet with a client…” His voice cracked. Clearing his throat, he started again. “When Kizou ran out to meet with a client, Taki came into the bedroom, drunk, and…he, uh…he…” Shuichi voice dropped away into sobs as his eyes stung with tears. Just remembering that first night, Taki's sour breath on his neck, those sweaty, calloused hands touching, poking, squeezing, and his heavy body on top of his, his loud grunts filling the room…It made Shuichi's stomach churn. He put a hand over his stomach and took deep, even breaths to try to calm him down.

Eiri cursed soundly, gripping the wheel tightly until his knuckles turned white.

Shuichi took a deep breath. “Kizou somehow found out, but I was afraid and…I told him it was--consensual. When Taki realized that I wouldn't squeal and that I wouldn't fight him, it became a regular thing. It didn't matter if I was in the mood or not.”

Eiri yanked the wheel hard to the left, which caused Shuichi to ricochet across the seat and into the passenger door. Shuichi picked himself up as the older man snapped furiously, “Of all the stupid, fucking, asinine…Why'd you lie? Why the fuck did you let that asshole do that to you?!”

Shuichi did not have an answer to that question. He stared at his clasped hands in his lap.

Eiri slowed and turned into the garage at his apartment building. He pulled into his parking spot and shutting the car off, turned in his seat to look at the boy. He wanted to ring his scrawny little neck! How could he be so stupid? If he had known this earlier, he would not have stopped with shoving that asshole from ASS into the side of the building. He would have fucking killed the bastard.

“I told Kizou about you last week,” Shuichi admitted quietly, in an attempt to lighten the mood. “He got angry and tossed me out, told me never to return.” He conveniently neglected to mention exactly why. He decided to let Eiri think that he was dumped by Kizou because of him. The alternative was something he did not want to even think about.

“Good. I don't want you hanging out with those perverted fucks.”

Shuichi blinked at the possessive tone. Eiri took the keys out of the ignition and stepped out of the car, leaving a brightly smiling Shuichi behind. Undoing his seat belt, Shuichi grabbed his bag from the floor and raced after the blond writer. “Eiri, wait up!” He caught up to the older man just as the elevator pinged and the doors slid open.

Eiri grabbed Shuichi’s arm and tossed him inside. Shuichi tripped and stumbled into the metal box, running into the back wall. Eiri marched in behind him and flipped him around. Pinning him to the back wall, he kneed the boy's legs apart and captured his lips. He forced his tongue into Shuichi’s mouth without any preamble. At first surprised, Shuichi could only stand, staring wide-eyed at the closed elevator doors over Eiri’s broad shoulders. Then he relaxed and started kissing Eiri back. Shuichi wrapped his arms around Eiri's neck. Eiri's hands moved to Shuichi's hips and brought the boy's small, tight body against his, forcing Shuichi onto his toes. They ate at each other's mouths as if they were being given their first taste of food in months.

Panting, their chests heaving, Eiri pulled away. “Get it?” he breathed, staring into the boy's beautiful amethyst eyes.

Shuichi looked back at his lover, trying to catch his breath. He licked his lips and nodded, unable to speak over the rapid beating of his heart.

Eiri smirked and ran a hand over the boy's cheek. He gave him a quick peck on his swollen lips and turned to press the button for his floor. He felt small arms slide around his waist and an equally lithe body spoon him from behind. With a tiny side smile, Eiri laid a hand on the boy's clasp hands over his stomach.

When the elevator pinged, announcing they had arrived at their designated floor, Shuichi reluctantly let Eiri go and stepped aside. The couple came face to face with an elderly couple when the doors opened.

“Good evening,” the elderly man and woman greeted with a nod.

Shuichi started to return the greeting, but Eiri grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together and pulled him after him out of the elevator and down the hall. Shuichi stared at their linked hands and then at Eiri, blushing deeply. Halfway down the hallway, Eiri stopped in front of a door and dropped Shuichi's hand. Shuichi frowned in disappointment. His hand felt suddenly cold. Eiri unlocked the apartment door and flinging it open, waved Shuichi inside ahead of him. The teenaged singer stepped into the foyer and toed off his shoes. As Eiri stepped inside the apartment, shutting and locking the door behind him, Shuichi decided to have a look around.

He stepped through the nearest door and realized he was in the living room. It was sparsely furnished with white walls. The only adornment was a rather large picture of colored interlocking shapes. Shuichi thought it was ugly. What he did like was the sliding glass doors that overlooked the Kyoto cityscape. It was a breath taking sight.

Eiri stepped into the living room and stood in the shadowy threshold watching his young lover. He felt his body tighten in need and his heart lurched as the setting sun cast a red glow upon the boy. Pushing out of the doorway, Eiri silently strode across the room, loosening his tie and tossing it aside along with his suit coat. Undoing the top few buttons of his shirt, he stood behind Shuichi and wrapped his arms around the boy's waist. Leaning his chin on the boy's head, they watched the sun slowly slide below the horizon, but soon Eiri got bored with watching the sunset.

Straightening, he slid his hands to the singer's hips. Lightly, his hands traced up the boy's sides, tickling his ribs.

Shuichi gasped. Closing his eyes, he let out a shaky breath. He relaxed into the light, sensual touch.

Eiri's hands ran up Shuichi's shoulder blades to his shoulders and down his arms. Gently, he turned the boy around and cupped his face. He leaned down and kissed him with just a feathery press of lips, his body carefully not touching his. Pulling back, he raised his head and studied the boy as Shuichi’s eyes fluttered open and focused up at him. Eiri saw utter trust on his face. He was not sure if he felt fully comfortable with someone throwing caution into the wind like that, but he would be damned if he let this opportunity to take his young lover again pass him by.

He pulled Shuichi to him roughly and devoured his mouth, taking possession of the warm, damp cavern. His hands groped the boy's behind, holding him tightly against his hard body.

Shuichi moaned into Eiri's mouth as he wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

Eiri picked the boy up, one hand cupping his butt and the other splayed in the middle of his back.

Shuichi wrapped his legs tightly around Eiri's waist, wiggling his hips against the bulge pressing into him. He had never wanted something so much in his life.

Eiri kissed a trail from Shuichi's mouth along his jaw and down to his neck as his hand teased the band of Shuichi’s pants.

Giggling, Shuichi squirmed under the touch.

Eiri shoved Shuichi into the nearest wall, causing the boy to grunt in reaction. He peeled open the boy's pants and ran a hand lightly over the bulge that tightened Shuichi's boxer shorts.

“I want you,” Shuichi whispered huskily as he captured Eiri's lips.

Eiri ate Shuichi's mouth, kissing him as if he were trying to climb down his throat. He released Shuichi's lips and laid two fingers against the boy's swollen, lush pink lips. He pried open the singer's mouth and stuck his fingers in.

Shuichi sucked on them, licking them as if they were candy.

Pulling his fingers out, Eiri slid his hands under the waistband of Shuichi's underwear and circled the boy's opening.

Shuichi hissed then groaned, burying his face in the crook of Eiri's neck as first one and then two fingers were thrust into him. He nipped his lover's neck, tightening his hold as Eiri continued to prep him. Shuichi moaned into Eiri's neck. He tossed back his head, exposing his neck and cried out as Eiri's fingers thrust deeply into him, hitting his sweet spot.

“Eiri! Please!”

The apartment was filled with the boy's loud moans and cries of ecstasy. His begging made Eiri harder then before, causing his pants to become uncomfortably restrictive.

Eiri growled and pulled his fingers free. Shuichi pouted in disappointment. Eiri pried his human koala off him and set him on his feet and then he flipped Shuichi around who in turn placed his hands against the wall. Eiri grabbed the boy's pants and yanked them down.

Shuichi yelped in reaction.

Freeing himself, Eiri pressed himself inside of his lover. He pinned Shuichi to the wall, sliding inside him one tight inch at a time until he hit the end then slowly withdrew until he was barely inside. He thrust back in; losing himself as he quickly found his rhythm and quickened his pace.

“Harder,” Shuichi ordered in a voice that did not sound quite like his own.

Eiri did not question the boy. He thrust into his young lover with everything he had, ripping a scream from him. He drove into Shuichi fast and hard, leaving the boy gasping as he pounded into him and moaning when he withdrew. Shuichi uttered small, helpless noises and words of encouragement to his blond lover that turned Eiri on. He smashed himself into Shuichi like a madman, his balls slapping against the boy's rear.

There was nothing but the hypnotic sensation of Eiri thrusting into Shuichi, filling him. The feeling of fullness swelled up inside of him until it exploded, spilling out of his mouth in a shout. He spasmed between the wall and Eiri as his seed shot out and coated the wall. Seconds later, Eiri followed, his hips thrusting into Shuichi one last time. He grunted as he came, releasing his seed inside his young lover.

Still inside him, Eiri held Shuichi tightly against the front of his body and together they slid to the floor.

Shuichi rested his head back against the writer's shoulders.

Both men sat quietly while they tried to catch their breath and slow their heart rates.

Eiri kissed the side of Shuichi's head, tightening his hold on the boy.

Shuichi ran his hands slowly and lightly over Eiri's arms. He sighed happily, and closed his eyes with a smile. If this was not Nirvana, he did not know what was.

 

* * *

 

The apartment was as silent as a tomb and as dark as a moonless night in the country.

Silently, Shuichi sat up and tossed aside the covers. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he glanced over his shoulder at the sleeping male snoring softly besides him. Smiling, he fingered the writer's soft blond tresses. He trailed his fingers over the wide, broad shoulder and down his muscled arm. This was something he could definitely get used to.

Shuichi reached out blindly and searched for his clothes. Finding them, he slipped on his pants and stood up.

Creeping without a sound out of the bedroom and shutting the door quietly behind him, he walked down the hall and picked up his bag. He then walked into the living room.

Flicking on the light, he plopped down on the large L-shaped sofa and folded his legs underneath him. Shuichi reached into his bag and searched for his phone. He found his notebook with all his lyrics in it, his makeup case, wallet, empty wrappers, keys, a comb and buried at the bottom was where he found his cellphone.

The LCD screen claimed he had half a dozen new messages. A quick look at the header told him he had left his phone on silent mood. That would explain why he had not heard it ring. He also needed to recharge it. Again, he searched his bag and several frustrated minutes later found his adapter. Plugging it into the bottom of his phone, he searched for a power outlet. Finding one in the corner, he plugged it in. A picture of a battery and the bold word “charging” flashed on the screen.

Sitting cross-legged on the floor, he checked his messages. The first one was from Ryuichi from the night of the battle wondering where he was. The second one was again from his brother, an hour later.

Shuichi chuckled. Can you say, “Overprotective”?

The third was from Kizou wondering if he was going to stop by and asking how the battle went. The forth message was from Taki, leeringly wondering if he would stop by. Shuichi could not suppress a shudder. The fifth message was from, surprisingly, his mother, timidly asking if he was staying with his brother and “to be good” and not to “cause Ryuichi too much trouble”. The sixth message was from Kizou, an hour after he kicked him out of the “compound”, saying that he was sorry for what happened, but that it was all for the best. The last message was from Ryuichi from earlier this evening wondering “where the hell” he was.

Sighing, Shuichi dialed his brother's number and prayed that it was Tatsuha that answered and not Ryuichi. After half a dozen rings, a groggy voice croaked out a sleepy hello. “Tatsuha?”

“Shuichi,” his brother-in-law said in a firmer voice. “Where the hell are you? Do you have any idea how late it is?”

“Uh, yeah,” Shuichi blushed, scratching his head sheepishly. “I'm sorry.”

There was a sigh over the line. “Where are you?”

“I'm, uh…” Shuichi could not tell him the truth. Tatsuha would tell Ryuichi and Ryuichi would have a cow. Even if Eiri had been sixteen instead of twenty-two, there was no way in bloody hell Ryuichi would allow him to stay over his boyfriend's house. “…Still at my friend's house.”

“A friend, huh?” Tatsuha did not sound like he believed him. Shuichi gulped nervously. “Which friend?”

“Uh…” Think, Shuichi, think! “You don't know him. I, uh, met him at the park l-last week.” Partly true.

“Okay…You know Ryu's been worried about you. You were supposed to call earlier.”

“I know. I'm sorry. I was, uh, busy.” To say the least, he added with a dark blush as he remembered all too clearly, why he had neglected to call sooner.

“Alright,” Tatsuha yawned. “Call when you want to come home and we'll pick you up.”

Shuichi eyes popped wide. Panic surged through Shuichi. There was no way in hell that was going to happen. It could not. “N-no,” he cried. “T-that's alright! I'll have my friend drive me home. D-don't worry about it.”

“Fine. Do ya want to talk with Ryu?”

Hell no, Shuichi thought. “No. It's alright.”

“Alright. Talk to ya later. Night.”

“'Night.” Flipping the phone shut, Shuichi sighed heavily and flopped backwards, spread eagle. “God, that was close.”

“As much as I hate to admit this-“

Shuichi's heart leapt out of his chest. With a gasp, he flew up and twirled around to see Eiri lounging in the doorway with a lit cigarette clamped between his lips. His hair looked as if he had put his finger in an outlet and the right side of his face had crease marks. “Jeeze,” he breathed a hand over his rapidly beating heart.

“-my brother isn't stupid.” A smile creased Eiri's face at the startled reaction he got out of his young lover. “If he doesn't already know about us than he'll find out sooner or later.”

Pale, Shuichi stared slack jawed at the writer. “S-sooner or l-later?” He hoped to all that was holy that that was not the case. Even if both Tatsuha and his brother supported his relationship with the older man that did not mean that everyone else would, especially if the police find out. The last thing he wanted was to get Eiri into trouble. His vision blurred. “Eiri!”

Eiri smirked. He loved that Shuichi worried about him, but he had to admit he had the same fears. He did not want to go to jail or get into trouble either, but he loved the kid. He had been infatuated with him for at least a year, and did not want to lose him. Not now. Pushing away from the doorframe, Eiri crossed the living room towards him. “I wouldn't worry. If he knows what's good for him, he'll keep his mouth shut.”

Shuichi's heart soared. If Eiri could have hope, then so could he. “Eiri.” Shuichi picked at some imaginary lint on his pant leg, avoiding those gorgeous golden hazel eyes.

“Hm?”

“I…I love you,” he said in a rush. His face flushed hot in embarrassment.

Eiri stopped dead, half way across the dimly lit living room and stared wide eyed at the teenaged singer. “What?”

“I love you and…I don't want…I don't want to-“

Kneeling down, Eiri cupped Shuichi's chin and forced the boy to look at him. “Stop it,” he commanded gently but firmly. “You're not causing me any trouble, Shuichi.”

Shuichi was not too surprised that the older man could read him so easily. He has always been told that his thoughts played across his face like a stage play. “But-“

Eiri shook his head. “Shuichi, I'm with you because I want to be with you.” He wiped at a stray tear that rolled down the young singer's face. “If I didn't care about you then I never would have stopped to speak with you that night at the park. I never would have made love to you and you would not be here now.”

With a sob and a bright smile, Shuichi threw himself at the writer, wrapping his arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. “I love you,” he cried.

Wrapping his arms around Shuichi's waist, Eiri hugged the boy back. I love you, too, he thought. Letting the boy go, Eiri stood up and held out a hand to him. “Now, let's get back to bed.”

Shuichi slipped his hand within Eiri's warm one and let the writer lead him back to the bedroom.

 

* * *

 

**Monday**

Still uncertain about the whole thing, Shuichi glanced at Tohma Seguchi across the table. “Are you sure?”

“I like it,” Hiro said with a nod.

“Hmm. I'm with Shuichi,” Suguru said. “I think it would be better if we came up with some new songs. We've been playing these ones for the past three years and I think they've been played out. Frankly, I'm sick of them. I wouldn't care if I never played them again.”

Tohma nodded in understanding. He felt the same way about playing some of Nittle Grasper's older tunes. They were far from where they wanted to be, or how they wanted to sound. They just did not represent what Nittle Grasper was or could be, but at the same time, it had introduced them to the world and gained them their first legion of fans. It got their name out there. “Bad Luck has been an underground sensation since its debut three year ago,” Tohma told the boys. “But not everyone has heard of you, nor have they heard these songs. To most people it'll be a sound from an awesome new band.”

Shuichi still was not sure.

Neither was the band’s keyboardist. “I don't know,” Suguru sighed with a shake of his head.

“Trust me,” the blond CEO of NG Production said. He stood up. “Besides, you have the use of the best equipment in the world right here. We can rerecord the songs and remix them into a multi-platinum selling record.”

Shuichi's eyes lit up. “You think we can achieve that?”

Tohma nodded. “I believe you can. You have the potential.”

The members of Bad Luck exchanged looks. Suguru saw the determination on their faces and gave in. “Alright,” he sighed. “Fine.”

“Good!” Tohma slapped his hand on the table. “We'll go over all of your songs, change them as we feel necessary and then decide which ones will be put on the album. In the meantime, try to decide which ones should be released as singles.” He checked his watch. “Why don't you head down to studio three and start? I'll be there shortly. I have a little business that needs to be taken care of.” Grabbing his hat from the table, he plopped it on his head and left the conference room.

Shuichi grabbed his bag and raced after his boss, leaving Hiro and Suguru gaping after him in confusion. “Tohma,” he called as darted down the hall after him.

“Shuichi,” Tohma said as he paused in front of the elevator, the down button was lit. “What can I do for you?”

“Um. I was wondering if you knew of a band called ASK?”

The elevator pinged and the doors slid open. Both men hopped into it. Tohma hit the L button. “ASK? Not really. Should I?”

Shuichi shook his head. “I guess not. It's just that they claimed to have had a meeting with some top executives here at NG a couple weeks ago.”

“Hm.”

The elevator pinged and the doors slid open to reveal a brightly lit lobby. The front of the building was encased with one-way shatterproof glass windows. You could see out but nobody could see in. A revolving door was flanked by three ordinary doors on either side. All were made of glass.

“Who's in this band?”

“Taki Aizawa, Ma-“

“Ah! Yes, them,” Tohma nodded as he headed across the lobby to the pressroom. “I didn't sign them.”

Shuichi blinked in surprise. “Why not? If you don't mind me asking? I mean, they're not my favorite people in the world, in fact, I hate Taki's guts, but still, I think they have a good sound and have the potential to make it big. I think they could be something.”

Tohma nodded as they stood outside the buzzing pressroom. “I know. I thought the same thing, but there was something about them that turned me off.”

Shuichi nodded. That would have been Taki “I Do Everything That Moves” Aizawa.

“You said you hate Mr. Aizawa? That means you know him?”

“Unfortunately, I do.”

“May I ask how?”

“Uh…Mutual friend.” Close enough to the truth.

Tohma studied his young friend closely and nodded. “I see. Don't worry.” He patted Shuichi's shoulder, with a reassuring smile. “I'll make sure Mr. Aizawa is not allowed on the premises.”

Shuichi smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. After the confrontation he had with the older singer last week, the last thing he wanted was another one. Especially if Eiri got wind of it. “Thank you.”

With a final pat and a smile, Tohma opened the door. What had been muffled before, now blasted out into the lobby, causing Shuichi to wince. The president took a deep breath, plastered that false smile on his face and walked into the pressroom. The door shut behind him.

Feeling elated that he would not have to worry about that psycho pervert while he was at work; Shuichi headed towards the bank of elevators and went back up the studio, whistling.

 

* * *

 

Shuichi yawned loudly. His eyes watered and his jaw popped.

“Why're you so tired?” Hiro asked. He pulled the guitar strap over his head and placed the guitar in its stand. “It's only six o'clock.”

“I, uh, was up late last night,” he admitted, blushing.

Hiro cocked an eyebrow in amusement. “Really? Care to share?”

Shuichi's blush deepened and he shook his head as Hiro laughed.

“Alright, guys,” Tohma said as he entered the sound booth. “Let's pack it in for the day.”

The members of Bad Luck breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God,” they muttered.

They had been at it all day and had surprisingly worked through three songs and a quarter way through a forth song. Before now, the only way they had to work on their songs was an amateur music program that Shuichi used to compose the tunes. He would burn the song to a disk and hand it to Suguru who would fine-tune the arrangement. Now they had better instruments, thanks to Tohma, and access to a wider variety of sounds to tap into to get the full potential out of their songs.

Shuichi staggered out of the sound booth and flopped onto the couch with a yawn. Closing his eyes, he hung his head back and sprawled out on the couch.

“Here ya go, Shu,” came Hiro's voice.

Opening his eyes, Shuichi caught his bag that Hiro tossed at him.

“Wanna go out?” the guitarist asked as he plopped down next to him.

Shuichi shook his head. “Can't. I’ve got plans.”

“Oh? Gotta hot date?”

Blushing, Shuichi nodded.

Chuckling, Hiro ruffled his friend's hair. “Fine. Ditch me for your boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” Suguru repeated in shock. He turned to stare at his singer. “Since when?”

Shuichi looked at his watch and shot to his feet. “Hey, look at the time! I gotta go!”

“Hey! Shuichi,” Suguru called after the singer as he dashed out of the studio.

Tohma's laughter followed the singer down the hall. The keyboardist walked out of the sound booth and turned to look at the longhaired guitarist. “When did this happen? I wasn't even aware Shuichi was into guys.”

Hiro shrugged. “No idea. That boy is full of surprises.”

“Who's he seeing?” Suguru asked as he sat down next to him. “Do you know?”

A picture of the blond haired man from Friday flashed through his head. “I'm not sure.” Hiro scratched his head. “I saw him once, but it was at a distance. I didn't get a good look at him.”

“Why is he keeping him a secret? Is he afraid of what we'd think, or something?”

Hiro did not have an answer to that. It confused him as well.

“I mean, I can understand wanting to keep something for himself, something separate from the band, but still! He could have at least told us about this guy. Ya know? Like, what’s his name, what’s he do…that sort of thing. It makes me wonder.”

Suguru had a point. What was Shuichi hiding?

“Speaking of dates,” Tohma said, breaking into their thoughts, “have to meet my wife at the doctor's. Until the morning, boys.”

“And then there were two,” Hiro said as the producer left the studio. “So, Suguru,” he slapped the boy's leg, “whattaya say?”

Suguru blinked, still dumbfounded. “I still can't believe that Shuichi has a boyfriend.”

Chuckling, Hiro stood and dragged his friend out of the studio. “C'mon, let's go.”

 

* * *

 

Tohma pulled out of the underground garage, looked for a break in traffic and pulled into the early evening rush.

As he passed the front of the building, he caught sight of his pink haired pop star standing out on the sidewalk. He slowed down, curious.

Rolling down the window, he was about to call out to the boy when a sleek black Mercedes Benz pulled up in front of the record building. The windows were tinted, making it impossible to see who the driver was. As Tohma watched, Shuichi, a huge grin on his face and bouncing with unbridled energy, shouldered his bag and hopped into the car. The car pulled away from the curb with a loud squeal. Tohma stared after the car. He knew there were a few of these foreign cars around Japan, but he could not help but wonder if that was not his brother-in-law.

 

* * *

 

As soon as Shuichi was in the car, Eiri pulled him into his arms and kissed him deeply and thoroughly. He revealed in the comforting warmth of the pink haired singer's arms. “Hmm,” he hummed, pulling away with much difficulty. “I've been dying to do that all weekend.”

Flushed and his eyes gleaming with lust, Shuichi blushed.

Checking the rear view mirror, Eiri shot into traffic with suck force it flung Shuichi back in the seat.

“So, how was your trip to Tokyo?” Shuichi asked as he put his seatbelt on. When Eiri sneered, Shuichi chuckled. “That good, huh?”

“Hn. Better than going to that damned family dinner, though.”

“Tatsuha was complaining about it, too. He said he'd rather be forced into marrying some chick than go to that damned temple for a family dinner.”

“Who wouldn't?” Eiri snorted.

“So, he brought Ryu with him.”

As he braked at a red light, Eiri turned a stunned face towards the boy. “He what?”

“Yep,” Shuichi nodded with a smile. His eyes sparkled in amusement. “Tatsu said that your father was against him seeing Ryu?”

Eiri snorted. “That's an understatement,” he muttered.

“But Tatsu argued that it was a family dinner and that Ryu was family.” That was actually true. Tatsuha and Ryuichi had a commitment ceremony in their apartment a few years back.

“He probably did it just to piss off the old man.”

Shuichi giggled. “You guys hate him that much, huh?”

Eiri snorted.

Giggling again, Shuichi settled down in the seat and flicked on the radio, flying through the channels so fast, Eiri was not sure how he could tell what was on. “Tatsu said your father was pissed, but said you were right.” He glanced at the older man in innocent curiosity. “What did he mean by that?”

Eiri sighed and sped around the corner when the light changed.

The G-Forces splattered Shuichi against the passenger door.

“My father has been trying to get me to settle down and get married.” Eiri rolled his eyes. “He wants heirs.”

Shuichi snorted, shaking his head. “What's Mika? Chopped liver?”

“That's what I said.” Eiri sighed. “My sister did get pregnant a few years back, but had a miscarriage. They've been trying ever since to have another child, but it's no good.”

“Why doesn't she go to the doctor?”

Eiri shrugged. “Who knows?”

Shuichi nodded sadly. That was understandable. He would hate to be in her shoes. “Ya know,” Shuichi spoke into the small lull that had fallen over the car.

“Hm.”

“I knew someone, this woman, who couldn’t get pregnant and ended up adopting because she couldn’t get pregnant and from what Kizou told me-” Out of the corner of Shuichi’s eye, he caught sight of Eiri’s grip tighten around the steering wheel just the slightest bit. If he did not already know how his boyfriend felt about Kizou, then Shuichi probably never would have noticed it. “-she couldn’t get pregnant because she-” Shuichi’s face flushed brightly. “-she, uh, didn’t get her, uh, you know,” he said in an embarrassed whisper.

Eiri cocked an eyebrow. His lips twitched in amusement. “She didn’t…what?” he pressed lightly.

Shuichi didn’t know he could get this embarrassed. Right then he hated Eiri for making him say it aloud. Bastard. “She was so skinny that she didn’t get her…you know, her, uhm…”

“Her ‘little friend’?” Eiri suggested.

Shuichi breathed a sigh of relief for the aid. “Yeah.”

Eiri thought about that. He did not think that was what his sister’s problem was, but it was interesting thought because Mika was a little on the lean side. “And didn’t this friend of yours know this?”

Shuichi shrugged as he reached toward the radio and started playing with it, trying to find a good song. Each station was playing commercials. He swore that it was a conspiracy. Those that were playing actual songs, all the songs sucked majorly. Why in the world any record company would willingly allow their artists to put out crap like this was beyond him. But then again there were some people who actually liked this music. Why, he would never understand. “I don’t know. I think from what Ki-I, uhm, mean, from what I know I think she was borderline anorexic or something,” he managed to say, stammering around his words. “Anyway,” he continued, getting back to what he was saying earlier, “Tatsu said that there was a young girl there about my age.” He scratched his head. “I forgot what he said her name was, but apparently your father and her father had made some sort of arrangement?”

“Son of a bitch doesn't know when to give up,” Eiri hissed. He clenched the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white.

“He said she was nice and very pretty,” Shuichi said quietly, staring out the window. He could not blame the man if he decided to go through with this marriage. He was a guy after all. Yes, he could give Eiri's father an heir; just like that girl could, but…

Eiri glanced at the boy out of the corner of his eye. “You're an idiot.”

Shuichi blinked at him in surprise. “Why?”

“I don't plan on marrying some chick just because my old man thinks it's a good idea. If he wants an heir, he can marry her himself and produce his own.”

Despite himself, Shuichi giggled. “Good, because there's no way I'm sharing you. Oh,” he exclaimed suddenly. “I love this song,” Shuichi cried. Reaching for the knob that controlled the volume, he twisted it, blasting the song at ear shattering levels.

Eiri winched. Could Shuichi not listen to music at a decent volume? Why did he feel the urge to make them all deaf? When he heard his young lover's beautifully magical voice singing along perfectly with the English lyrics, he watched Shuichi out of the corner of his eye as he wound his way through the almost bumper-to-bumper rush hour traffic.

**Can't hold this feeling no more.**   
**Just can't pretend to care for.**   
**Half-hearted trips out to grab and hit the score.**   
**I've come to see the light.**   
**We're destined to ignite.**   
**Long as we live, everyone has got the right.**   
**Wake up your inner child.**   
**Wake up your tender branches.**   
**We've been…**   
**We'll always be…**   
**Here to stay and breathe forevermore.**   
**Blazing away to be free.**   
**The reins of power that live inside.**   
**Believe in visions of flames and dream.**   
**The sweetest dream testifies.**   
**Blazing away to be free.**   
**The heat that burns inside.**   
**Believe in visions of flames and see…**   
**…what lies beneath them all**   
**…beneath them all.**

Shuichi turned the volume back down when the song ended and commercials came on.

“I didn't know you knew English,” Eiri said.

“Yep, it's the only thing I passed in school besides P.E. and music.”

“Really.”

“Ryu told me that when he made it big he'd take me with him on tour, but on one condition. I had to learn English.”

“Why?”

“It would be easier to understand and communicate, especially if Bad Luck debuted outside the country.”

Eiri nodded. “That’s true. So, did you ever go out on tour with him?”

“Well,” Shuichi answered, scratching his head. “Not really. I mean, a while back he flew me out to see him perform in New York.” His whole face lit with a smile. “That was pretty cool!”

Eiri glanced at his briefly in shock as he parallel parked in front of a small deli café. “You've been to the US?”

“Yep,” Shuichi smiled, nodding. “Have you ever been there?” he asked innocently, unbuckling his seat belt.

“Several times,” Eiri said as he got out of the car.

“Really? Cool! Why?”

“A couple of my books have been translated into English and I've had to travel around the States to promote them,” he answered as they stepped into the nearly full café. Eiri glanced around and found a seat in the far back corner away from prying eyes. He grabbed Shuichi's hand and led him towards the booth. He was not so much as trying to hide Shuichi, a minor, as to hide that he, Eiri Yuki, was here eating dinner in the middle of the dinner rush.

Shuichi flushed as he felt Eiri's warm hand envelope his. He glanced shyly at their linked hands and then at Eiri.

Sliding into the booth, both men picked up a menu from the round metal holder in the middle of the table, trying to decide what to order then returned them when they decided what they wanted.

When the server finally sauntered over, both men order a bento box.

While Eiri ordered a beer, Shuichi ordered juice. The last thing he wanted was to get plastered. He remembered what happened the last time he got drunk and he did not intend to ever repeat that episode. However, at the same time, he knew he had to tell Eiri the truth eventually. Shuichi laced his fingers on the tabletop and twiddled his thumbs. The longer he said nothing, the more difficult it was going to become, the angrier Eiri would be once he realized the one person he thought he could trust was the one person he could not. Shuichi was not sure if he could say anything. He was scared. He was not sure if he could take the risk that Eiri might leave him once he learns the truth, but was it not better for Eiri to hear the truth from him rather than to hear it from someone else? Shuichi shook his head. Who would tell…? Shuichi gasped. Taki! Dammit all to hell! Knowing that bastard, he would do something that sneaky and rotten. Sighing heavily, Shuichi ran his fingers through his hair. He had never found it more difficult to start up a conversation in his life. For once, he wanted to remain silent. “Eiri,” he called softly.

“Hm?”

The singer stared at his laced fingers, avoiding his lover's golden gaze. He could feel the sweat already starting to form. His hands had a fine trembling to them. “I, uhm…What, uhm-“

“Here you guys are,” came a female voice.

Shuichi leaned back as their server set their drinks down in front of them. She reached inside her apron and produced a straw for Shuichi. “Thanks,” they both told the woman.

“You're welcome,” she smiled.

Shuichi watched her go and caught sight of a man walking up to the cash register. Another man slid out of the booth to follow him and Shuichi found himself smiling as he watched the man with a beach ball under his shirt waddle across the café. Either that guy was having twins or he was just about to pop.

“Disgusting,” came a muttered sneer.

“Huh?” Shuichi turned and looked at Eiri across the table. “What is?”

Eiri jerked his head. “Them. People like them should not exist,” he scoffed

Shuichi followed the writer's gaze and felt the floor disappear beneath him, spilling him into an endless void of black nothingness. “What?” Shuichi breathed in disbelief. Please, God, let him have heard him wrong! He watched as the door shut behind the pair then turned a pale face back to the blond man. “Y-you don't really mean…How can you say something like that?” He felt numb. He could not believe he was hearing this from his beloved Eiri!

“Easily. It's true.”

“Eiri…H-how can you--I mean…” Shuichi sat back in the padded seat, zapped of energy, with a shocked huff. “I don't understand,” he whispered.

“What's there to understand,” Eiri barked, taking a sip of his beer. “Men make babies. They do not have them.”  
  
Shuichi's world shattered around him. He watched through tear-blurred vision as the pregnant man's partner helped him into the front seat of their car before getting in on the other side and driving away. Shuichi felt his throat constrict over threatening sobs. His chest tightened and he felt a sharp pain in his heart. He wanted to find out how Eiri felt about Neutrals and now he knew. He just wished he didn’t.

 

* * *

 

Eiri glanced at his pale and teary-eyed lover out of the corner of his eye an hour later. “Are you sure you're alright?” All throughout dinner, the kid was very subdued and not his usual bouncy, energetic self. He wondered if he was all right.

“Fine,” Shuichi whispered. He wrapped his arms tighter around himself and curled into the door, as far away from Eiri as he could get without falling out of the car. “Drop me off at Ryu's.”

“Why? I thought you were going to-“

“Please, Eiri,” Shuichi sobbed silently. His eyes filled with water once again. “Just…please,” he continued, his voice wavering.

“Alright.”

The rest of the ride to their brother's apartment was silent. It was an uncomfortable and strained silence. It rested upon the occupants heavily, like a physical weight. Eiri could sense the tension and the distance that had somehow sprung up between them. Even though he was not sure why or how, he somehow knew that it was because of something he did. He wanted nothing more then to pull the car over and shake the truth out of the boy, but instead he said nothing.

Eiri pulled up in front of one of the most prestigious and exclusive apartment buildings in Kyoto several long and agonizing moments later.

“Thanks for dinner,” Shuichi muttered as he undid he seat belt and climbed out of the car. He slammed the car door behind him before Eiri could say anything.

Once again, the blond writer did nothing. He watched his young lover vanish through the front door as he felt a heaviness slowly dragging him down. A bolt of pain shot through his heart. Mysteriously, as he peeled away from the curb and steered into traffic, his eyes blurred and he chocked back a sob. Why did he feel as if the world had suddenly flipped upside down?

  
**…To Be Continued…**


	5. Realizations and Decisions Part I

**Chapter 5: Realizations and Decisions Part I**

Tatsuha and Ryuichi were cuddling on the couch watching an old episode of Iron Chef when they heard the apartment door open. Glancing at each other in confusion, Ryuichi sat up and dropped his feet to the floor causing Tatsuha's arm to fall from his shoulder. They heard movement in the entrance hall followed by two muffled thuds. Tatsuha grabbed the remote from the coffee table and muted the sound from the television as Ryuichi stood up and walked to the living room door. A few moments later, a door somewhere in the apartment opened and then slammed shut. Pushing the living room door open, Ryuichi glanced out into the hall and spied Shuichi's sneakers sitting by the front door

“Was that Shu?” Tatsuha asked coming up behind his boyfriend. He grabbed the door and leaned out.

“Yeah.”

“What's he doing home? I thought he was going to be staying at a friend's house?”

“I don't know. I hope he didn't get sick,” Ryuichi commented in concern.

Tatsuha watched Ryuichi as the older singer walked down the hall towards Shuichi's bedroom with his brow creased in thought.

Ryuichi knocked on the door and called softly, “Shuichi?” He waited, but heard nothing from within. “Shuichi?” He tried the door but found the door locked. He pressed his ear to the door and thought he heard muffled sobs. Frowning, Ryuichi knocked harder and wiggled the doorknob. “Shuichi, open this door.”

“Go away,” Shuichi sobbed his voice thick with tears.

“What's wrong? Why’re you home so early? What's going on?”

“I just want to be left alone right now.”

“I can't do that Shu,” Ryuichi told the teenager through the door. “Tell me what's wrong.”

“Nothing's wrong,” the boy sniffed.

Ryuichi would believe in Santa Clause faster than he would believe his baby Shu-Shu was all right. “Then why're you crying?”

“Ryu,” Tatsuha said softly as he moved up behind him. “I think we should just leave him alone for now.”

Ryuichi frowned. “Tatsuha-“

“Have you ever,” Shuichi's soft voice whispered through the door, “found out something about someone and wished you hadn't?”

Ryuichi turned back towards his brother's bedroom door. “Like what?”

In his bedroom, Shuichi sat huddled on the floor against his bedroom door with his knees drawn to his chest. His arms were wrapped tightly around his legs. He rested his chin on his knees and did not bother to wipe away the tears that tickled down his cheeks. “Something that scared you.”

Ryuichi did not like where this conversation was going. “What do you mean?”

Shuichi sniffed and rubbed his face against his jeans, trying to dispel the tears that continued to flow.

“What if--you found someone you thought you could trust, someone you could love, someone you thought could possibly be, might actually be the one,” he sobbed, his voice dropping. He blinked rapidly and tilted his head back in an attempt to keep fresh tears from falling. “What if,” he continued, “you thought you finally found someone who could love you for who you are, someone who wouldn't judge you or hate you or look down at you because you are this-this freak,” Shuichi bit harshly.

“Shuichi,” Ryuichi said softly.

His jaw trembling, Shuichi burst into tears. “What if you were worried about telling this person something,” the pink haired singer continued, his sobs becoming hysterical, “because you were not sure how he would react! What if before you could gain the courage to tell him you've been lying to him all this time, he makes a comment! What if this comment shatters your entire world! What if…what if you realize that by coming clean with him, you may end up losing him?”

Ryuichi felt tears in his eyes. “Oh, Shuichi,” he whispered, his voice cracking slightly. He felt his heart breaking for his little brother.

Tatsuha laid a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder. Eiri, what have you done, he mentally asked.

Ryuichi said softly, covering Tatsuha's hand with his own, “I think it's best to be honest.”

Shuichi scrubbed his face with his hands. “But I can't,” he sobbed, crying uncontrollably.

“Shu-”

Tatsuha squeezed Ryu's shoulder. “I know you love him very much.”

Shuichi sat up with a startled gasp. Was Eiri right? Did Tatsuha know about them? His jaw trembling, he tried to blink away the tears blurring his vision, but failed miserably. “Yes,” Shuichi chocked, resting his head against the door.

“I can see it,” Tatsuha admitted. “I've never seen you as happy as you've been since you started seeing him.”

Shuichi sniffled and could not contain a giggle and a blush.

“I know you've tried to hide it, but I know you've been severely depressed until recently, probably thinking about committing suicide, right?”

Shuichi sat up with a gasp.

Ryuichi's head snapped around. He stared at Tatsuha in shock. “What!?”

“You were hanging out with those no good punks, doing God knows what. You were heading straight for the danger zone, but virtually over night, you seemed to change! You started smiling and laughing! You glowed!” Tatsuha smiled himself. “I know you love him and I know he loves you, too and you want to be honest with him, right?”

“Yes,” Shuichi sobbed.

Tatsuha nodded. “Then you have to tell him.”

“But I can't! If I tell him I'm this--freak then-“

“Shuichi,” the monk shook his head.

“If after you tell him that you're a Neutral he wants nothing more to do with you then he really wasn't the one,” Ryuichi told his brother. “Besides Shu, you're young! You're only sixteen! You have all the time in the world to fall in love and get married!”

“I can't,” Shuichi sobbed. “I don't want to lose him! I can't! I can't! I can't!”

“Shuichi.”

Tatsuha took his lover's hand and led the singer back into the living room as Shuichi sobbed quietly from behind the closed door of his bedroom. Pulling Ryuichi down onto the couch besides him, Tatsuha wrapped his arms around him and hugged him gently to him. Kissing Ryuichi's head, Tatsuha leaned his head against his boyfriend’s. “I think we should just leave him be for awhile.”

Reveling in the comfort of his lover’s arms, Ryuichi stared across the room out the sliding glass doors. He never felt so completely helpless before in his entire life. Why was his baby Shu-Shu always suffering? Why could the boy not have a normal life? He buried his face against Tatsuha's chest and let himself cry.

 

* * *

 

**The Next Morning**

The next morning found Tatsuha in the kitchen pouring water into the coffee maker when he heard a door open followed by the sound of pounding feet racing across the hall. Another door slammed closed and moments later, the sound of retching reached his ears. With a heavy sigh, he placed the stained glass carafe on the burner in the coffeemaker, sliding it under the black plastic cone shaped device where the coffee grounds were kept. Pushing the button at the base of the machine, the red light blazed to life glowing brightly against the black plastic of the coffeemaker. Then he leaned against the counter, crossed his arms over his chest and glanced across the kitchen at the closed kitchen door. His forehead creased in thought

 

* * *

 

Shuichi stood on trembling legs and flushed the toilet. After washing his face and brushing his teeth, he stepped out into the hall and came face to face with his brother-in-law who was leaning against the opposite wall. Startled, he gasped.

Tatsuha smirked. “Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. You alright?” he asked seriously.

“Yeah, I'm fine.” Shuichi stepped around Tatsuha and started back to his bedroom as he felt the beginning of a headache. Not to mention, his stomach felt like it was on a wicked roller coaster ride. All he wanted to do was crawl back into bed and hide.

“Two weeks,” Tatsuha said suddenly.

Halting his stride, Shuichi blinked over his shoulder. “What?”

Pushing away from the wall, Tatsuha repeated, “Two weeks.”

“I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“I think you do. Here,” Tatsuha said.

Shuichi grabbed the small white plastic bag that Tatsuha produced from behind his back. “What is it?” Tatsuha said nothing as the singer peered into the bag and brought out a thin narrow box. Shuichi turned the box over and gasped, amethyst eyes going wide. His head snapping up, he glared at the other man in shock and disbelief. Then he started laughing. “Funny, Tatsuha.” He dropped the box into the bag and shoved it back into his chest, but Tatsuha shoved it right back. Shuichi blinked at him. “Tatsuha?”

“Go.”

Feeling scandalized, Shuichi cried, “You're not serious!”

Tatsuha grabbed the boy's shoulders, turned him around and marched him back into the bathroom. Pushing him inside, Tatsuha stepped back out and shut the door, leaving a stunned boy staring back at him as if he had grown a second head. “Do it Shuichi or I'll tell Ryu,” he threatened through the door. He smirked when he heard the boy growl. “Hey, don't blame me. I didn't do anything. You're the one who did the crime; now see if you have to do some time. You'd better hurry up before Ryu gets back from the bakery.” He snickered as heard Shuichi mumbling angrily under his breath. He went back into the kitchen.

oOo

“Today at four?” Tatsuha marked appointment on the dry erase board next to the phone. He lifted his eyes when he heard a board creak and saw Shuichi standing in the kitchen doorway. His eyes were downcast and he was holding the application stick in his shaking hands. “Alright. Thank you. Goodbye.” Hanging up the phone, Tatsuha turned towards the singer. “So?”

Shuichi lifted a face that was as white as the sheets on his bed and opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Snapping his mouth closed, he turned his head away as his jaw started trembling and tears leaked down his face.

Tatsuha suddenly had a bad feeling. Grabbing the white stick out of the boy's hands, he checked the results for himself. Gasping, he stared up at the boy.

Just then, they heard the front door rattle. “I'm home,” Ryuichi called as he stepped into the house.

It was all too much for Shuichi. With a sob, he buried his face in his hands and dropped to his knees crying.

Ryuichi shut the door, set the bakery box on the floor and stepped out of his shoes. He looked down the hall towards the kitchen and when he saw Shuichi, a deep frown crossed his face. “Shuichi,” he asked worried. “What's wrong?” Straightening, he carried the bakery box into the kitchen, catching Tatsuha's eye, but the monk kept his face carefully blank. He set the box on the table and crouched down besides his brother. “Shu?”

Tatsuha held out his hand.

Catching sight of something in his boyfriend's hand out of the corner of his eye, Ryuichi turned his head and frowned at the thing. Taking it, he glanced up at the monk. “What's this?” He stood up and studied it. His eyes got huge when he finally realized what it was he was looking at. “This's…” His head snapped towards Tatsuha, who was making sure to keep his face as blank and empty of his thoughts as possible. Ryuichi turned towards Shuichi, who was still on the floor crying. “Tell me this is a sick joke!”

Shuichi wished it were. Unfortunately, it was all too true.

“Goddamn it, Shuichi,” Ryuichi yelled angrily. Running his fingers through his hair, he paced the kitchen. He looked down at the stick again. Spinning around, he threw the stick on the floor before the pink haired sixteen year old. “You're only sixteen! Sixteen!”

Tatsuha stepped forward to try to calm his lover down, but Ryuichi wanted none of it.

“You barely passed elementary school, flunked out of middle school and you never went to high school! You were just signed to NG! Now this. What the fuck is wrong with you? You're just a child! How are you supposed to support a child, especially if Bad Luck doesn't do as well as we all thought? Jesus Christ! How stupid can you be?”

Each word his brother said was another stab in Shuichi's heart. He knew how careless he had been, how stupid and thoughtless. He knew it had been foolish to think something like this would not happen to him just because he was only sixteen. He knew it, but having his brother say it aloud made it all the more horrible. Ryuichi's harsh words made him feel like a total loser and ingrate. All he wanted was to crawl into a hole and die.

“Ryu,” Tatsuha said softly, laying a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder.

Ryuichi shook the hand off. “Tell me you at least know who the father is,” the irate singer demanded.

Shuichi just sobbed harder.

The hardest and most upsetting part about finding out he was going to have a baby was knowing that now he had to tell Eiri that the boy he fell in love with was the one thing he hated most in this entire world. There was no chance Eiri would understand or forgive him for deceiving him. What was he supposed to tell Eiri? That you have a one in three chance of being the father? Eiri would never forgive him. Ever.

Shuichi sobbed louder.

Even if the child was Eiri's, there was no guarantee he would stick around, or even accept responsibility. Shuichi certainly did not want Eiri to stick around out of a sense of obligation either. That would hurt worse than being rejected by the father of his child. Then there was the possibility that if it got out, Eiri could get arrested and go to jail for having sexual relations with a minor. That was the last thing Shuichi wanted. Shuichi's heart and head hurt. He had no idea what he was supposed to do.

Jumping to his feet, he fled the kitchen to the safety of his bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. Flinging himself onto his bed, he buried his face in his pillows and sobbed himself to sleep, his heart and his world shattering around him.

 

* * *

 

A couple of hours later, Shuichi woke to the sound of raised angry voices. Groggily, the singer rubbed his eyes and yawned. Blinking, he glanced blurrily at the alarm clock. He cursed and threw back the covers when he saw that it already past noon.

Tossing on the first things he saw, Shuichi ran a comb quickly through his hair and grabbed his bag off the floor. Shouldering it, he flung open his door and rushed towards the front door. The yelling grew louder but he could not make out what was being said. He was not too concerned, though. Tatsuha and Ryuichi argued all the time and besides, it made it easier for him to sneak out without being seen; he didn’t want to be confronted by Ryuichi again. He needed time to think.

He halted when he heard his name. Silently, he crept back towards his brother and Tatsuha's room and pressed his ear to the door.

“I had my suspicions,” Tatsuha was saying calmly.

“And you never said anything,” Ryuichi snapped angrily.

“It wasn't my place.”

Ryuichi laughed, but it was not because he was happy. “Not your place? Bullshit!” There was silence and then, “You should have said something!”

“And that would have changed matters how?” Tatsuha snapped back angrily.

“Shuichi would not be pregnant right now!”

“You don't know that.”

“Of course I do!”

“Did you forget what he told us a week ago?”

Shuichi did not want to hear any more. Sniffling, he wiped away tears he had not known he was shedding and after sliding into his sneakers, left the apartment, shutting the door quietly behind him.

 

* * *

 

The argument he had with Ryuichi weighed heavily on Tatsuha's mind. He loved the man more than anything in this world. He continued to defy his father just so he could be with the pop star and he did not like it when they fought. If Ryuichi walked out on him, which he was sure Ryuichi would do one of these days because of his big mouth, he was not sure what he would do. He needed Ryuichi. The man was the air he breathed, the blood that flowed through his veins. Without Ryuichi, he was nothing. Ryuichi was everything to him and the last thing he wanted was to drive him away.

They say hindsight is twenty-twenty and in his opinion so was foresight. He’d done nothing wrong. He did what he felt was right and necessary at the time and he was not going to apologize for that, though he deeply regretted not trusting Ryuichi enough to tell him what was going on, but agonizing over what he should or could have done differently was a pointless waste of time.

Tatsuha walked out of the master bedroom, wondering where Ryuichi was. The singer stormed out of the bedroom after nearly ripping him a new one, but Tatsuha had not heard him leave so he was somewhere in the apartment. Tatsuha wondered if he should go find Ryuichi and try to talk with him about this or just leave him alone for a bit so he could cool off.

Speaking of which, Tatsuha had not heard a peep from Shuichi since he locked himself in his room this morning. He wondered what the boy was up to. Shuichi probably wanted to be alone right now, but Tatsuha refused to give the boy his space. Shuichi was most likely confused and scared. The boy needed all the support he could get, but then who wouldn’t in his shoes?

Tatsuha stopped outside Shuichi's door and tried the knob. He was surprised when the door opened. “Shuichi,” he called softly stepping into the darkened room.

Was the boy sleeping? It was mid-day, but Shuichi never pulled back his blackout curtains so the bedroom was shrouded in deep twilight. Blindly, he fumbled for the light switch that he knew was somewhere on the wall besides the door. Finding it, he flicked the ceiling light on. Tatsuha blinked in surprise once his eyes adjusted to the sudden glare.

“Where…?” Tatsuha stepped out of the room and glanced down the hall towards the front door. He could not see Shuichi's shoes. “Damn.”

He walked down the hall to the living room and found Ryuichi was standing in front of the closed balcony doors, hugging his arms tightly about himself. His head was bent forward. His body was shaking with what Tatsuha assumed was silent tears.

“Oh, Ryu,” he said softly. He despised seeing Ryuichi like this, even more so when he was the cause of it. He padded softly across the living room to his boyfriend's side and laid a hand on his shoulder, but it was violently shaken off. “Ryu, talk to me, please,” he pleaded.

Ryuichi said nothing.

Knowing he deserved whatever Ryuichi threw at him, Tatsuha clamped a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder and forced him to turn around. Tatsuha's eyes widened in surprise. Wrapped tightly within Ryuichi's arms and getting soaked with the stream of tears gushing down his face was Kuma-chan, the giant pink bunny Tatsuha bought for him several years back. Tatsuha glanced at his lover with sad eyes. Usually Kumagoro was kept on the shelf with all the other stuffed animals Ryuichi had gotten from fans over the years, but whenever the singer was feeling insecure or upset, Mr. Bear became his lifeline, his comfort. “Oh, Ryu,” he whispered. “I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to lie to you. You know that right?”

Ryuichi hugged Mr. Bear and dropped his head against the bunny's wet pink head, nodding. “It still hurts, Tatsuha.”

“I know and I'm sorry. I know I should have said something, but…it wasn't my place!”

“I know that,” Ryuichi whispered.

“Forgive me?” Tatsuha asked hopefully, searching those impossibly deep eyes. He reached out and traced a stray tear down already worn grooves in the singer's face.

Ryuichi shook his head. “Not yet.”

Tatsuha dropped his hand with a sigh. He had expected as much. But in the meantime, they had other problems. “Shu's gone,” he announced.

“What?” Ryuichi lifted his face and glanced at him in incomprehension.

“Shuichi's not in his room and his shoes are gone. He must have taken off while we were…arguing earlier.”

Ryuichi paled. “We have to find him,” he breathed. “Oh, God, Tatsuha!”

“I'll find him,” Tatsuha offered. The last Shuichi probably wanted was to see was his brother right about now.

“It's my fault he ran away in the first place.”

Tatsuha smiled gently and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Don't blame yourself. He is going through a lot right now. I’ll go and search for him. You stay here in case he calls or returns. Okay? I’ll bring him home. Don’t worry. Besides,” he added, glancing at his watch, “I have to take him to the doctor anyway.”

Ryuichi opened his mouth to argue, but snapped it closed without saying anything. Tatsuha was right. After the way he spoke to the boy earlier, he doubted Shuichi would want to speak with him right now anyway. He nodded, albeit reluctantly.

Tatsuha gently wrapped his lover within his arms and kissed the top of the singer's head. “I love you my honey Ryuichi,” he whispered in his ear. Pulling back enough he planted a soft kiss on his unresponsive lover's lips. Letting him go, he went out into the hall, slipped into his shoes and left the apartment, shutting the door behind him.

Ryuichi watched Tatsuha go sadly. He hugged Mr. Bear tighter and prayed that Shuichi was all right.

 

* * *

 

As much as Shuichi wanted to, he could not cry anymore. He had no more tears to shed. He was all cried out. Now he just felt numb. An unseasonable chill was blowing off the water but it had nothing to do with the coldness he felt all the way down to his bones. No amount of clothes or blankets could chase this chill away.

He was scared and so confused. He had no idea what he was going to do.

Could he confront Eiri with the truth about himself and take the chance that the man he loved would walk out of his life forever? What about Taki and Kizou? What would their reactions be when he told them about the baby?

And what about the baby? As Ryuichi said, he was only sixteen. There was no way he could take care of a baby. What if Tohma misplaced his trust when he signed Bad Luck to NG and they did not make it big like everyone thought? Then what? Like Ryuichi said, he barely passed grade school, flunked out of middle school, never went to high school and had no plans on going to college.

Shuichi laid his hands over his still flat stomach. If Eiri turned his back on him and the baby…Then what? Rely on Taki or Kizou? What if they turned him away as well?

His head hurt. He wished this were some bad dream.

He slumped onto an empty park bench and stared blankly over the calm waters. He forced his mind to shut down. He did not want to think about anything right now. All he wanted to do was forget.

 

* * *

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Hiro spotted a bright pink head sticking out among all the darker ones. Signaling, he swung his bike around and pulled into the park's parking lot. Taking off his helmet, he placed it on his seat and went in search of that pink head he had seen from the road. It had to be Shuichi. Nobody else had hair like that, but according to Tatsuha, Shuichi had been feeling under the weather this morning, which was why he had not been at the studio today. So, if he was sick, then why was Shuichi at the park?

He found the singer easily. Hiro frowned as he came closer to the boy. Shuichi looked terrible. He had a dead expression on his face and a blank stare in his eyes. His face was pale and drawn. His eyes were red rimmed and slightly puffy like he had been crying. “Shu,” he called.

Shuichi gave no indication that he heard him.

Hiro stepped around the bench and stood before the singer. “Shuichi.”

Shuichi blinked, bringing a tall man with long reddish brown hair into focus.

“Hey,” Hiro said softly sitting down next to him.

Shuichi blinked once at him and turned to stare back out over the water.

Hiro frowned. “Shuichi?”

“Hiro,” the singer whispered. His voice was thick from all the crying he did earlier. “Would a person who hates neutrals be happy to learn that their partner is one?”

“What? Where is this coming from?”

“Would you be happy to learn that your partner is pregnant…especially if there is a really good chance that the baby wasn't yours?”

Hiro did not like where this conversation was going. “Shuichi, what's this about?”

At any other time, this would have been when he burst into tears and started blubbering like an idiot, but Shuichi was all tapped out. Instead, he gave his friend a sad smile. Shaking his head, he stood up and walked away, vanishing into a passing crowd of people and leaving Hiro to stare after him in bewilderment.

 

* * *

 

Hiro shook back his hair and started to slip on his helmet when a car slowed down besides him. He looked up curiously. The driver's side window rolled down and a familiar face came into view. Tucking his motorcycle helmet under his arm, he smiled. “Hey, Tatsuha.”

“Hiro,” Tatsuha nodded monotonously. “You haven't seen Shuichi, have you?”

“Actually, yeah, I just saw him.”

Tatsuha snapped to attention, an eager, determined expression on his face. “Where?” he demanded. “Where was he?”

Hiro blinked at the older man's tone. “He was in the park, but he's not there anymore,” he hurriedly added.

“Damn!” Tatsuha slammed a hand against the steering wheel. “Where did he go?”

“He didn't say,” Hiro answered silently, “though he was acting kinda strange. Well,” he corrected, “weird for Shuichi anyways.”

Tatsuha sighed, cursing at himself and his situation.

“Tatsuha, what's going on?”

Tatsuha shook his head. “It's not my place to say.”

Hiro nodded in understanding, but frowned even harder.

“How did he look?” Tatsuha asked silently after several moments of nothing.

Hiro shrugged when Tatsuha nodded. “Kinda down and out, ya know?”

Tatsuha sighed. “Thanks, Hiro. Did you see in what direction he was headed?”

Hiro pointed.

“If you see him, give me a call?”

“Sure,” Hiro nodded.

“Thanks, Hiro.” With a wave, Tatsuha rolled the window back up and pulled away, vanishing into the heavy late afternoon traffic much the same way Shuichi had not too long ago.

 

* * *

 

Shuichi had no idea where he was going and frankly did not care. He just let his feet take him wherever it was they wanted to go. His mind was a blank slate as he walked through the city. He did not see the shops and cafés he passed or feel the sharp jolts as he bumped into one person after another. He was deaf to their shouts and curses. The squealing of brakes and screeching of tires went in one ear and right out the other. He was a mindless zombie wandering aimlessly through the city.

He was not sure how long he had been roaming the city when he found himself standing outside his parent's house. He blinked amethyst eyes in shock. Staring up at the non-discrete white house that was several miles outside of the city, he gulped in sudden fright. He suddenly felt like as if he was trapped in a new nightmare, one where you are running but not getting anywhere. His pulse was pounding like a bass drum in his ear and his palms were sweaty. A flurry of butterflies fluttered nervously in his stomach. He felt nauseous and knew it had nothing to do with morning sickness.

As he stared up at the house, he suddenly knew what he had to do, but part of him wanted nothing more than to turn tail and race away in the opposite direction. Banishing those thoughts, he steeled himself and walked up to the house. As he stood before the door, he almost lost his nerve, but he knew his mother would be able to help him. She was the only one he knew of that might understand what he was going through right now. She herself had been barely out of high school when she had Ryuichi.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and went in. As soon as he stepped through the door, a melody of odors assailed his senses. There was a strong scent of disinfectant and papaya. The house in its entirety had that just cleaned smell to it. Under that was another mouth watering aroma. His stomach gurgled, reminding him that he had not eaten all day.

“Mom,” he called loudly.

“In the kitchen,” his mother shouted from the back of the house.

He dropped his backpack to the floor, took off his sneakers and slid into a pair of house slippers, feeling as if he were going to be sick the closer he shuffled down the hall towards the kitchen. It felt like he was walking to his doom.

From the safety of the doorway, he watched his mother dash around the kitchen. Half of the island counter was a mess of measuring spoons and cups, bowls, spoons and whisks, eggshells, spilled flour, sugar, vanilla and a variety of other items he could not identify. The other half had several baking sheets with small round balls of dough sitting on them all ready for the oven. Cooling racks sat on the counter on either side of the sink with cookies on them. Several platters sat on the small kitchen table filled with mountains of already baked cookies.

“Hey honey,” his mother greeted him as the timer went off.

“Hey Mom. What are you doing?”

“Making cookies.”

Mrs. Shindou grabbed a potholder from the mess on the island counter and walked over to the stove. She took out two sheets of deliciously golden brown cookies from the oven and set them on top of the stove then took the two from the island behind her and slid them into the oven. Closing the door, she then set the timer.

“Why?”

Shuichi's mother took down another plate from the cupboards and moved the cookies from the cooling racks onto it. “A bake sale at Maiko's school.”

“Oh. Shouldn't she be down here doing this then?”

“She wasn't feeling good this morning. She's upstairs sleeping,” she explained as she set the plate on the table next to the others and grabbing a spatula out of the mess on the counter, transferred the cookies freshly out of the oven from the sheets to the cooling rackets.

It was now or never, he thought. “Hey…Mom?”

“Yes dear?” Mrs. Shindou set the now bare cookie sheets on the island counter and reached inside the large mixing bowl. She dropped rounded teaspoon balls of dough onto the cookie sheets.

“Uhm.” Shuichi gulped, licking suddenly dry lips. His heart was beating wickedly. Why was it he felt as if he were standing in front of firing squad?

“What is it, Shuichi?” his mother asked moving to the second sheet.

“Actually, uhm…Mom, I'm, uhm…What would you say if I told you--I'm pregnant?” he asked, his voice dropping to a whisper.

“What did you say dear?” his mother questioned as she continued to drop the cookie dough on the cookie sheets.

Shuichi clenched his hands and gritted his teeth. “I'm going to have a baby,” he cried loudly.

Mrs. Shindou's hands stilled. The ball she was forming plopped back into the bowl. Her head snapped up. She glanced up at her son with a pale face. A thousand thoughts and emotions played out across her face. “That better be a joke, Shuichi Shindou! Because last time I checked boys can't have babies.”

Tears formed in Shuichi's eyes. He dropped his head sadly. He did not understand how his mother could be in such denial about her own child! She did this the other day when he asked her about taking him to the doctor so he could get birth control. “It isn't,” he told her, shaking his head. He lifted his face and stared at his mother with pleading eyes. “Mom, I'm going to have a baby.”

“What the fuck did you just say?” growled a voice from behind him.

Shuichi gasped as his heart skipped a beat. His tears stopped before they had a chance to form. He stood frozen, his amethyst eyes impossibly huge as a wave of fear washed over him. “D-dad,” he stuttered.

Mrs. Shindou dropped her gaze and busied herself with filling the cookie sheets with the last of her cookie dough, trying to ignore the confrontation between father and son. A quick check at the timer told her the cookies in the oven were almost done.

Mr. Shindou marched forward. Grabbing Shuichi's arm tightly, he swinging the boy around to face him, shaking him hard.

Shuichi cringed away from the livid manifestation he saw burning deeply within his father's eyes. His father’s face was a twisted mask of fury. “That hurts,” Shuichi cried, trying to pry his father's hand from his arm.

“This'd better be a sick joke!”

“N-no,” Shuichi sobbed as tears spilled down his face.

Mr. Shindou's eyes narrowed. “No what?” he growled dangerously.

Tears blurred his vision and trailed down his face as if a dam had broken. “No, it's not a joke!”

“You damn slut,” his father snarled, shaking him harder.

“Dad, please,” Shuichi pleaded when the grip on his arm tightened. He glanced over his father's shoulder at his mother who was removing the cookie sheets from the oven and placing them on the stovetop to cool. Why was she not doing anything to help him?

“Not only did you have to be born this-this freak,” he spit, “but now you have to go and flaunt your freakish mutation!”

Shuichi sobbed harder. “Mom,” he cried.

“Don't you dare ask her to help you! My house. My rules,” Mr. Shindou snapped. He turned and walked back through the house, dragging Shuichi with him.

Shuichi glanced over his shoulder at his mother who was placing the cookies that were already on the rack to a plate on the table. “Mom,” he wailed through his tears. “Mom!” He fought his father's vice-like grip. “Mom, please!”

Mr. Shindou flung open the front door with such ferocity that the door slammed into the wall, leaving a perfect imprint of the doorknob behind. The door bounced off the wall, swinging back, hitting him in the back, but he felt nothing. His anger blinded him to everything but the irritant he had been forced to live with for the past sixteen years. He literally threw Shuichi out of the house and watched as the boy tripped down the steps. He felt nothing as the boy hit the ground hard. When his son winced and cried out in pain, he still felt nothing but anger.

Shuichi pushed himself up, hissing in pain, and glanced up at his father through tear-blurred eyes as he cradled his stomach. “Daddy,” he sobbed piteously. He reached out a shaking hand towards the man, ignoring the slight twinge of pain in his arms and legs. “Daddy, please!”

For just a second, Shuichi thought he saw his father's eyes soften but the tenderness was gone as quickly as it appeared and the hard mask returned, leaving him wondering if he had actually seen anything.

Over his father's shoulder, Shuichi spied his mother. She glanced around her bulky husband with her eyes glistening with unshed tears. He reached out for her. “Mama! Mama, please! Don't do this! Mama!”

Mrs. Shindou turned her face away and vanished into the shadows of the house.

Shuichi’s heart gave a painful lurch. He sobbed harder.

“Until you fix this problem of yours-“

Shuichi glanced up at his father.

“-don't bother showing your face in this house again,” he ordered. He disappeared briefly, returning with his son's bag and sneakers. He tossed them haphazardly out of the house. “Can’t believe I went along with this farce,” he grumbled irately under his breath as he threw Shuichi one last glare before stepping back into the house and slamming the door shut with such force the entire frame shook. When the lock clicked, it sounded unnaturally loud.

Shuichi curled into a ball and sobbed.

 

* * *

 

Yesterday Eiri expected to head back to his apartment after dinner and spend the entire night making sweet love to his pink haired lover. Being in Tokyo all weekend for that stupid interview had killed him. He thought of nothing other than Shuichi the entire time. But unfortunately, he opened his big mouth and scared the boy away and instead of holding Shuichi tightly all night, he ended up holding his pillow.

Yes, Eiri's beliefs were archaic and had no place in the modern world. He knew it, but he could not help the way he felt. If men had not taken a sudden, and drastic, evolutionary leap then the man who gave birth to Mika, Tatsuha and he would not have abandoned them when he and Tatsuha were only babies, leaving them without a mother.

Tatsuha did not seem to have been adversely affected by the abandonment of their mother. Neither was Mika, but not everyone reacts the same way to the same situation. Eiri on the other hand was afraid. He was terrified of getting close to someone. If he did and they left him, he would once again be all alone. He did not want to go through that again. It was only recently he had been able to think about actually getting involved with someone without having a panic attack and that had only been a year ago when he met Shuichi, but a neutral?

He guessed his mother abandoning him and his brother and sister villainized all neutrals in his mind. He knew that. He could understand how his views would upset Shuichi, how the kid would naturally become angry at his backwards view, but that did not explain why Shuichi had become so downhearted and unhappy, why their date had taken such a drastic and unexpected turn. It did not make any sense…unless…Unless Shuichi took that out of the blue confession personally. But why would he?

Then he remembered that Shuichi had been trying to say something right before he said that derogatory statement. He inhaled sharply. His eyes grew wide and his heart gave a painful jolt. Was it possible that his little lover was…? That he had been trying to find the courage to tell him…? No, no, no. Eiri shook that thought aside before it even had a chance to form. It was something he did not want to think about, something he was afraid even to acknowledge, but it was like trying to ignore the giant elephant in the middle of the living room. The more you try to pretend it was not there, the harder it becomes to do just that. He loved Shuichi with all his heart. The boy had become his entire world. It felt so right being with him, despite his always-present misgivings. Though he could not stop himself from asking, “What if as Shuichi matured and grew up, he realized he did not love Eiri the way that Eiri loved him? What if Shuichi fell out of love with him as he grew older? What if Shuichi left him?” Eiri loved the kid so much it scared him and he wanted Shuichi in his life, but now…Now what was he supposed to do? What if it turned out that Shuichi was the very thing he grew up despising? Then what?

Eiri had a lot to think about.

As he drove down the busy highway towards his family temple, he tried to empty his mind, but found it impossible. A certain pink haired boy kept popping into his mind, his sad, brokenhearted expression eating away at his soul

 

* * *

 

Since the day the doctor walked into his mother's room at the hospital and dropped that disastrous bombshell, Shuichi's life has been plagued with one setback after another. What was more, he was the biggest disappointment in his parents’ lives. He was not sure what was better: a mother who was in denial about everything around her or a father who ignored the fact you even existed until it was convenient.

According to his mother, he was her precious baby boy, but unfortunately, that was all he was. When his mother remembered he was more than that, she suddenly played Kremlin. She was never going to accept the real him. But he had to admit that her refusal to see what was right in front of her was better than being ignored by his father. His father had always treated him more as a guest than as a son, just a minor hindrance or an irritation that would soon go away. He pretended Shuichi did not exist, which made it easier for Shuichi to ignore the fact that he was just this huge disappointment for his mother and father. He was able to convince himself he did not need them. That as long as he found someone who loved him he would be fine, but then…

_“You damn slut…Not only did you have to be born this-this freak, but now you have to go and flaunt your freakish mutation…Until you fix this problem of yours, don't bother showing your face in this house again.”_

His fathers parting words hit Shuichi harder than he thought they would. He always knew his father hated him, but having him scream his revulsion and abhorrence in his face brought it home. Like his mother, Shuichi too had been in denial. Like an ostrich, he buried his head in the sand, intent on hiding from the truth. If he could not see it then he was safe. Out of sight. Out of mind. He did not want to face the fact that he let his parents down. He did not want to think about how if there was a test the doctors could have performed before he was born to check to see if he was a neutral or not, his parents would have aborted the pregnancy. It hurt. It really hurt. It was the same as when someone points out that you are fat. You know you need to lose a few pounds, but when it is thrown in your face, it was like an open wound that refused to heal. Suddenly you are subconscious and paranoid. When before it had not bothered you that you did not have a stick-like figure like everyone else. Every time someone looked at you, your mind went into overdrive, thinking everybody is laughing and pointing at you behind your back. Why was he looking at you? Did you have something on your face? Did he find you disgusting and repulsive because you could stand to lose twenty pounds?

_“…slut…freak…”_

Those words cut deep to the bone. It felt as if someone ripped out his heart and stomped on it.

If he could just be satisfied with knowing Ryuichi, Tatsuha, Hiro, Suguru, Tohma and Noriko loved him despite the fact that he was a “freak”, it would make his life that much more easier, but he could not. It was not the same thing. Being told by the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally that they want nothing more to do with you was something Shuichi did not know how to handle. He could not even count on Eiri because even though he loved him, the writer did not love what he was.

_“Disgusting,” came a muttered sneer._

_“Huh?” Shuichi turned and looked at Eiri across the table. “What is?”_

_Eiri jerked his head. “Them. People like them should not exist,” he scoffed._

Shuichi wished he could have curled up and died right there and then.

What was he supposed to do now?

 

* * *

 

Sitting at a red light, Kizou sat drumming his thumbs on the steering wheel of his Mercedes impatiently. He had a meeting with a potential new client and being late was not an option, but with this goddamn traffic, it looked like he did not have much of a choice. The light finally turned green, but the Yazuka boss did not get more than a car length before he had to brake. He cursed soundly.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a flash of pink. His heart immediately started thumping.

Turning his head, Kizou smiled brightly as he caught sight of the only person who had ever captured his heart, but the smile soon slipped and turned into a frown as he watched Shuichi weave through the crowded streets of Kyoto. Shuichi did not seem to be aware of anything around him. Concern for the kid washed over him. Shuichi did not look good at all. A wave of guilt came over him, but he squashed it aside. As much as he loved the kid, there was no way he would allow him to return. He’d made the right decision, for the both of them. Shuichi had no business being in his world. He had too many people that cared for him. He was too talented. He was too Shuichi for the life Kizou lived. Anyway, Shuichi had a child to think about now. There was no way he was going to let the underbelly of society corrupt another innocent child. Besides, he could never raise some other man's child. It would be too painful a reminder of what he would never be able to have.

The kid turned a corner and vanished from sight.

“Good luck kid,” he said.

Traffic finally moved and he floored the gas, trying to get to his meeting sometime this century.

 

* * *

 

Shuichi felt himself being jostled and jolted around, but ignored the sharp pains and the angry shouts that followed him. He had no idea where he was going and frankly, he did not care.

He sniffled.

There was only one thing for Shuichi to do. If he wanted to keep the love of his life in his life, he had to make sure Eiri never found out about the one thing that could tear them apart. If he wanted to be part of his parents’ lives again, there was also only one path for him to take, but thinking of that option made his heart hurt. But what else could he do? He was only sixteen years old. He obviously could not count on his parents for support and he did not want to transfer his burden to his friends and especially not to Ryuichi. He had no other choice.

Shuichi dug in his bag for his phone. Finding it buried among all the crap, he dialed information.

With a heavy heart, he saw himself as if he were floating above. He felt numb and disconnected from reality as he dialed the number he had been given. He wished he could cry, but found he had no tears to shed.

“Good afternoon, Kyoto Clinic. How may I help you?” asked an overly sweet voice over the line.

“I would like to make an appointment please,” he said. His voice did not sound like his own.

“Certainly sir. When is good for you?”

“As soon as possible.”

There was a pause where the singer heard the banging of keys. “We actually just had a cancellation,” the woman said. “How about today at four?”

Shuichi opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He tried again. “That's fine.” His voice came out a soft squeak.

“Payment in full is due at the time of your appointment.”

“How much will it cost,” he inquired.

“68000 yen, but you will get a full refund if at any time before the procedure you change your mind.”

Licking his lips, he swallowed. “Alright. Thank you.”

“We'll see you then.”

Saying goodbye, Shuichi flipped his phone shut and closed his eyes against the mind and heart numbing pain that enveloped him.

 

* * *

 

When Eiri pulled into the driveway of his father's place, the first thing he noticed was the contingent of cars. It looked as if his father had gone into the car business. He wondered what was going on. He hoped there was not some sort of holiday, festival, or ceremony or anything going on that he forgot because the last thing he wanted was a confrontation with anybody right now, especially his father. He did not want to be reamed out for purposely skipping out on a “family dinner”. All he wanted to do was head into the temple and do a little meditation. He could have done it from home; he wished he could have, but unfortunately, he never set up an altar at his apartment. He had to remember to do so because he did not like the thought of coming here every time he needed some clarity in his life.

Suddenly a high-pitched siren-like laugh screeched into the air. Eiri knew immediately that his aunt Aki, his father's spinster sister, was among the guests. He snorted and shook his head. You could always tell when she showed up. She had the most distinct laugh. Aunt Aki worked part time at a school in Kanto where she lived with her mother, his grandmother. She was one of Eiri's favorite relatives. She was a very amusing character, making fun of anyone and everyone. She was a riot to hang out with. It was too bad they did not get to see each other as much as either would like.

Eiri skirted the house, creeping like a thief in the night in an attempt to avoid what sounded like a party in full swing. Dozens of voices floated by on the breeze, each competing with the next to be heard. Above the din were the soft musical strains of a koto. He wondered if Mika was here. He had not seen her or Tohma's car, but she was the only one he knew of that could play the zither-like instrument in the family. Eiri was walking up the steps to the temple when he heard the sound of approaching voices. He glanced around as the voices and footsteps grew louder. Panicking, the blond writer glanced around for a hiding spot. In a split second decision, he darted around the nearest corner and flattened himself against the wall just as the group of women rounded the temple from the other side, coming from the direction of the main house. His heart was thundering in his chest. His mouth was parched and he was sweating profusely. He squeezed his eyes shut as the voices came closer and closer to where he was hiding. He breathed a sigh of relief when the women stopped a mere couple of feet away.

“-disgusting if you ask me,” scoffed a wobbly voice.

Eiri's eyes flew open. That sounded like his great aunt Sanami. She was his grandmother's sister. She was a stiff, very tradition bound woman. They butted heads quite a few times. She absolutely hated Tatsuha. In her mind, his brother snubbed his role as an Uesugi male and had brought dishonor upon the house by getting involved with a man.

“You're absolutely right, Sister,” agreed another female voice so similar to the first that if you did not know any better you would have sworn it was the same person speaking.

Eiri knew this was his grandmother, Maki. She was just as bad as her sister was. She was the main reason why he never went to visit his aunt Aki. How Aunt Aki could live with that woman was beyond him. He would have hung himself long ago.

“You know,” entered a third voice.

This was his other aunt, Shuri. She was the eldest sister and matriarch of the family. She was a little more open-minded but still stuck on honor and tradition just like the others.

“I don't know what's worse,” Aunt Shuri was saying. “A Homosexual or a Neutral.”

What in the world were they doing here? Then he remembered what Shuichi told him about the dinner he’d been “forced” to miss, about how his father had indeed hidden a betrothal between himself and some chick behind a so-called “family dinner”. That was why the entire family was here. It was a meeting of the two families. Whatever. They could wait until they were blue in the face, keeled over, and died because he had no intention, now or ever, of being forced into marrying anyone, especially with some chick he would rather beat upside the head then bed. The thought made him sick to his stomach.

“That's the question, is it not?” Grandma Maki stated.

“Both are disgusting and wicked,” Aunt Sanami hissed.

“True,” Aunt Shuri agreed, her voice calm, “but at least a Neutral can gives us heirs. You have to admit they can be--useful,” she said, her voice becoming soft and sly.

The other women giggled secretively.

Eiri frowned deeply. He did not like the sound of that. What were they talking about?

“We're just lucky that your son saw reason,” Aunt Shuri continued.

Son? Were they talking about his father? Eiri edged closer, straining to hear what they were saying.

“Yes, we are,” Grandmother Maki agreed. “My boy has always done what was right for the family.”

“Tradition and the honor of the Uesugi family must be upheld,” Aunt Sanami snapped.

Eiri's heart beat painfully in his chest. He had an awful, sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“That's nothing against Kazuki. He was a wonderful boy with great genes,” Aunt Shuri said in that same calm and collected voice.

Kazuki? That was his mother's name! Eiri edged a little bit closer, licking his dry lips. Why were they talking about his mother? What was going on?

“Very true,” Grandmother Maki said. “He was very nice and very handsome, but we could not have a freak in the family. That just would not do.”

A freak? Eiri could barely contain a growl that seeped through his pursed lips. He clenched his hands; his nails dug half-moons into his palms.

“We're just lucky he died soon after he was banished, otherwise who knows what could have happened to this family,” Aunt Sanami said.

The blood rushed out of Eiri's face. He stared out across the yard with large unseeing eyes. The rest of their conversation fell of deaf ears as shock filled Eiri.

Eiri's head was spinning.

He felt violently ill.

It felt like he was suffocating.

Eiri did not want to believe it. It was too radical, too extreme. It was like something out of a book or an original Lifetime movie. He wanted to forget everything he just heard, pretend it never happened and go back to the way things used to be, go back to what he knew and was comfortable with. It was as if learning that face on the milk carton belonged to you. You did not want to believe it, could not believe it, even though the evidence was slapping you in the face. Everything he used to know, his whole world had been one giant lie fabricated by his own family.

This was too much.

Because his mother was a Neutral, his abandoning his family had translated into all Neutrals not being worth spit. If his mother could be a heartless jerk, than what was to stop the rest of them from being the same way? He knew it was unfair, but that was how his brain processed the whole affair. It was how he coped with the rejection. And that transferred into alienating the only person he ever felt a strong attraction for, a yearning for, a connection with.

This was their entire fault. His indecision over what to do now about his and Shuichi's relationship was because of them!

Eiri did not get it. How could his father agree to something like that? How could he allow his mother to just waltz right in and take over his life like that? His father could not have loved the man whom he married, the man who bore his children very much if he so willing went along with his mother's dastardly plan and let her toss him into the wind like a piece of useless lint.

The mind numbing shock was slowly starting to give way to blind fury.

He spent his entire life despising someone he thought hated him and wanted nothing to do with, but now everything he knew was no longer valid. Did these people understand what kind of hell they put him through?

That might actually have been the sole purpose considering their view on the third sex.

Before he had time to think about it, Eiri found himself striding out of the shadows beside the temple towards the three old biddies. His grandmother and her two sisters were still chatting away without a care in the world and had yet to notice him.

“…Ayaka is such a beautiful girl,” his grandmother was saying softly.

“Very kind and considerate,” Aunt Sanami agreed, nodding.

“And quiet,” Aunt Shuri exclaimed. “She'll make a very obedient wife for Eiri.”

That stopped Eiri cold. His burning fury ebbed away in the face of his bewilderment. Ayaka? That must be the girl his father was trying to get him to marry, the girl Tatsuha told Shuichi about. This forced betrothal he’d had an inkling about--why else would his father demand the presence of a son he was so disappointed in?--was the reason why he’d chosen to go to Tokyo last weekend for that interview instead of coming to his father's little family dinner party.

If he would have known with relative certainty that his father’s little family get-together was indeed masquerading a betrothment, then he would have blown off the interview and actually came to dinner--with Shuichi of course. It would have been worth it just to see the expression on his old man's face. Maybe he could still do that. That would really get their goat, especially when they realize that not only was Shuichi a man, but a Neutral? Oh, yes. He would be more than eager to come home for a visit then. But was it right to use the kid like that, to get his family off his back? And what about afterwards? Would he be able to handle something he spent his whole life hating?

All that would have to wait though. First things first, he had to deal with his grandmother and her two sisters.

A renewed surge of rage poured over him. Who did they think they were toying with his life like this as if he were some brainless idiot? What gave them the right to carve out a future for him and screw up everything he worked so hard for? Damn them all to hell!

“And of course,” Eiri said irately, stepping forward, “my opinion doesn't count.”

Grandmother Maki spun around, a hand over her heart. “Eiri,” she gasped in surprise.

“Eiri,” Aunt Sanami and Aunt Shuri shrieked in frightened surprise as they caught sight of the blond writer.

He nodded his head somewhat politely in their direction.

“When did you get here?” Aunt Shuri asked her nephew in pleased astonishment as she swept forward to embrace him.

“A while ago,” he said stoically. When his aunt let him go he felt dirty, soiled, and desperately wanted to shower.

“You look good, Eiri,” Aunt Sanami commented hugging her nephew as well.

“Thank you,” he grunted, feeling slightly embarrassed despite everything. He was also feeling twice as dirty now. A nice long, scolding soak in the bathtub was what he needed. It felt as if he was covered in the filth that was his family's corrupted lies.

“We missed you at dinner on Friday, Eiri,” Grandmother Maki said poignantly.

Cannot say the same thing, Eiri thought. “I had a previous engagement,” he admitted. “If I had known before that my father was planning a family get together, I would have made the extra effort to attend,” he lied effortlessly. His speech was fluid and flawless, each word accentuated carefully. He was trying to keep himself as composed and polite as he could. As angry and upset as he was with every single Uesugi right now, he did not want to make a scene and this way, he might just be able to figure out just what they thought they were doing. “As it were, I had a scheduled interview and photo shoot in Tokyo with a very celebrated journalist that could not be broken.”

Silence descended upon the group, which Eiri had no inclination to break. He regarded the elder Uesugi women, trying to keep his swelling anger in check, but he could see his grandmother was not bothering to hide her fury that rising rapidly.

“Eiri, this has got to stop,” Grandmother Maki exploded.

Eiri's eyebrow shot up. “What has to?”

“This! This,” she exclaimed, gesturing wildly at him.

Oh, that clarifies things, he thought snidely.

“You're twenty-two, Eiri,” Aunt Shuri reminded him.

Eiri barely managed to stop himself from rolling his eyes as he thought sarcastically, Thanks. I never would have remembered.

“And it's about time you started taking on more responsibility around here.”

Eiri glared suspiciously at her wondering what was that supposed to mean.

“This little rebellion of yours has gone on long enough,” Grandmother Maki stated firmly.

Oh, so now it was a rebellion!

“You're father is too soft with you boys! He lets you get away with way too much,” she snapped angrily. “First he lets Tatsuha run off with that-that-that gay rock star, that freak who's perverting and corrupting that innocent boy!”

Eiri chuckled softly in amusement. Tatsuha? Innocent? Ryuichi was perverting and corrupting him? Please! If anything, it was the other way around.

“And then there's you!”

Eiri raised an eyebrow at that. Crossing his arms over his chest, he waited patiently. He could not wait to hear this.

“First. you stand out way too much!”

Aunt Shuri nodded in agreement. “That milky white skin, that blond hair and yellow eyes!” She clucked her tongue.

Eiri's eye twitched. Oh, so now, it was his fault he looked like this and his genes had nothing to with it whatsoever?

And of course, Aunt Sanami had to add her two cents. “And that earring-“

That was it! “So sorry we're all so screwed up,” Eiri shouted furiously. He had the pleasure of seeing his grandmother and aunts pale and back away from him in fright. “But you see,” he continued in false sweetness, “we grew up without a mother!”

The women just stood there staring at him as if he had grown a second head.

His grandmother was the first to recover. “How dare you,” she hissed.

“No, how dare you!”

Aunt Shuri and Sanami gasped at the gull of their nephew.

“How dare you try to rule this family like a dictatorship? What the fuck do you know about anything? Just because your life has been nothing but a miserable, fucked up existence doesn't give you the right to make everyone else around you miserable too!”

That was all too true. His grandmother's parents, his great grandparents, arranged her marriage before she was even born. Grandmother Maki was raised strictly in the traditional Japanese role of dutiful housewife. She’d had no say in anything pertaining to her life until her husband passed on several years prior. As much as she had hated it, she’d said nothing and played along. She did everything expected of her.

“Father found someone he loved, someone he could spend the rest of his life with and you hated that! Honor. Tradition. Bull--shit! You were jealous. You were given no choices and you were going to make damn sure that your children didn't either. And don't think I don't know what that dinner on Friday really was. It's never crossed any of your minds that I may be seeing someone? That I have no desire whatsoever of marrying some dumb chick just so I can produce an heir? I'm not like you and I have no desire to be!”

“Eiri,” Grandmother Maki scolded. She stepped towards her grandson. “Have some respect!”

Eiri held back a growl and squinted at his grandmother angrily. She had the gull to talk about respect? After everything she did?

“Ayaka Usami is the only daughter of the Ryugan Temple. She is a very proper young lady.”

Eiri rolled his eyes. And he should care because…?

“She would make a very humble wife.”

Humble? What century was she living in?

What a minute. Ayaka Usami? Daughter of the Ryugan temple? Why did that name sound familiar? Eiri shrugged it off. It did not really matter who she was because he did not intend to marry her or any chick now or ever. He did not care how disrespectful or dishonorable he was being. “I don't care who she is,” Eiri snapped. “I don't care how nice, pretty, modest, prim and proper she may be. If I'm going to get married, I'll choose my own bride!” A picture of his pink haired singer flashed through his mind and his heart soared.

“Eiri dear,” Aunt Sanami said. She stepped forward and laid a hand on his arm. “See reason! Ms. Usami-“

“-is someone I have no interest in,” Eiri snapped. “She could be the last female on the face of the planet and I still would not touch her. I would rather let the human species die out then betray Shuichi.”

The three older women gasped.

Eiri blinked. Where did that come from? Strangely enough, he meant it. Shaking his head, he gave them a not so polite once over. And with a sneer, he turned on his heel and marched off towards his car, slipping on his sunglasses as he went.

Here was to hoping he did not run into anyone else.

As he made his way across the yard to the driveway, he heard his father's deep chuckle boom above everything else. Eiri's nails carved out trenches in his palms.

He needed a cigarette.

Eiri knew he had to confront his father eventually, but right now, if he laid eyes on the man there was no telling what he would do. It was a wonder he was able to restrain himself while facing his grandmother and his two aunts.

Eiri wove around the dozens of cars to his black Mercedes. He was fumbling in his pockets for his car keys when an annoyingly sweet voice called out to him. Eiri closed his eyes, praying for patience. As he was in no mood to deal with this shit, he ignored the girl as he unlocked and opened his car door. That soft girly voice continued calling out to him, but he just continued to pretend he‘d gone temporarily deaf.

He was sliding into his car when a small well-groomed hand appeared on his arm. Sighing in irritation, he looked up and saw a petite young girl that could not be much older than Shuichi with long shinning brown hair. She was a pretty thing in a long, simple skirt and plain white blouse buttoned all the way to her neck and down to her wrists. She looked vaguely familiar, but he could not place where he saw her before. Either way, he really did not care.

“Eiri,” she smiled sweetly and innocently.

Eiri stared down at her coldly.

The girl dropped her head and blushed a deep crimson when their met.

He sighed in disgust. “Who're you?” he snapped angrily. “What do you want?”

The girl was not put off by his attitude. “Ayaka,” she whispered. “Ayaka Usami.” Her eyes rolled up and looked at him shyly.

Aah! So, she was Ayaka. He looked her over once. Once again, he was hit with a sense of familiarity. Then it hit him. He mentally slapped himself for being so stupid. He could barely remember an Ayaka from when he was growing up. She had been a very shy and quiet little girl who tagged along with him and Tatsuha everywhere they went. She used to follow them around like a little lost puppy and annoyed the hell out of the both of them. It looked as if time had not changed her or his feelings towards her one bit, especially not her fascination with him.

“When Daddy first mentioned the arranged marriage,” Ayaka told him in a soft voice, “I was angry, but when he told me I was to be married to you-“

“Look, Ayaka,” Eiri said. His voice was strained with the effort to keep from lashing out. He grabbed her hand and gently lifted it off his arm.

Looking at him in confusion, Ayaka frowned.

“I don't know what my father told you, but I have no intention of marrying you,” he told her evenly.

Ayaka's face fell. “But, Eiri,” she protested weakly. “I love-“

“I'm seeing someone,” he said point-blank. “And if I marry anyone, it will be him.”

Ayaka paled.

Eiri blinked, astonished once again at what seemed to have come out of his mouth of its own accord. “Now, if you'll excuse me.” He slammed the car door, turned on the ignition and peeled out of the driveway and down the street, not once looking back.

 

**…To Be Continued…**


	6. Realizations and Decisions Part II

**Chapter 6: Realizations and Decisions Part II**

The pen hesitated only momentarily over the bottom right hand corner of the check before Hiro signed it before handing it over to his best friend. “Shuichi,” he sighed. This was a bad idea. He knew it. He had a feeling this was going to come back to bite him on the ass. What did Shuichi need ¥68000 for anyway?

Shuichi shook his head as he took the check and stuck it in his bag for safekeeping. “Please, Hiro,” he pleaded. “Don't.” He searched the slightly older teen's face intently. “Just trust me, okay?”

Once again, Hiro sighed heavily, running a hand through his long reddish-brown hair. “I do, Shu, but…You're my best friend and you know I love you, right?”

Shuichi smiled sadly at Hiro. “I know.”

“If you were in trouble you'd tell me, right?” Hiro asked.

“You know I would.” Under normal circumstances, Shuichi would, but not this time. This was something he had to take care of by himself. He could not drag anybody else into this mess. As Tatsuha said earlier, he did the crime now he had to do the time. Besides, if he told Hiro what he needed the money for he would have to tell Hiro about everything and the last thing Shuichi wanted was for his best friend to know he used to be some mob boss’s concubine, nothing more than some whore. Shuichi would not be able to face Hiro after that and he certainly did not want to tell Hiro about Taki or Eiri. Hiro would kill Taki. And Eiri…Shuichi did not want to take the risk that Hiro would let it slip about their relationship and have it get back to the wrong people. Despite that he and Eiri were at odds at the moment, Shuichi did not want to cause Eiri any problems.

“Okay.”

Shuichi shouldered his bag and slipped into his sneakers. “Thanks, Hiro,” he told his friend over his shoulder. “And please don't tell anyone I was here.”

“Sure,” Hiro said automatically.

Shuichi opened the apartment door and stepped out into the hallway, shutting the door behind him.

Hiro looked over his shoulder at the phone and bit his lip. He promised Tatsuha he would call if he heard from Shuichi, but he also promised Shuichi he would not say anything, but what if Shuichi was in trouble? Shuichi was his best friend and best friends looked out for one another, right?

He walked across the room, grabbed the phone and pressed speed dial.

 

* * *

 

Tatsuha slowed to a stop as a light turned red. Sighing in frustration, he leaned his head against the headrest and smacked the steering wheel hard. This was ridiculous! He’d looked up and down almost every street in the damn city! Where could Shuichi be? How hard was it to find a pinked haired sixteen year old?

The ringing of his cell shook him out of his frustrations. Reaching over to the passenger seat, he picked up his phone. Checking the digital display, his eyes widened. Flipping it open, he cried loudly, his heart beating rapidly, “Tell me you heard from him!”

“He just left,” came Hiro's voice over the line.

Tatsuha's heart was beating in excitement. When the light finally turned green, he floored it and weaved in and out of traffic like a maniac making his way to Hiro's place. His was deaf to the angry protests that followed in his wake.

In his apartment, Hiro walked out onto the porch and leaned over the railing. He could still see Shuichi in the distance, walking away towards the downtown area. He relayed this to Tatsuha.

“Thanks, I'm on my way.”

“Wait, Tatsuha,” Hiro cried over the line, trying to catch the older man before he hung up.

“Yeah?”

“Shuichi…”

A dead weight landed in the pit of Tatsuha's stomach. “Yeah,” he prodded against his better judgment.

Hiro hesitated. “…He, uh…”

“He what?” Now Tatsuha’s heart was beating from an entirely different reason.

Hiro licked suddenly dry lips. “You know that the advances we got from signing with NG have not cleared yet right?”

“Yeah,” Tatsuha admitted. “Shu said something about that. Why?”

He was nearly there.

“Well, Shu came over here wanting to know if I divided up the money we earned doing all those gigs and whatnot.”

“'Kay.” Where was Hiro going with this?

“I told him not yet. I planned on going to the bank tomorrow morning.” Hiro paused, taking a breath and gathering his thoughts. “He asked how much his share was. I told him and he asked for ¥68000.”

Tatsuha blinked. “68000? What does he need all that mon--ey…?” His eyes widened as a horrible thought occurred to him. Shuichi wouldn’t really…? “Shit,” he cursed loudly. He flipped his phone shut with a snap and threw his phone onto the passenger seat. He flew through an intersection as the light changed to red. He hoped to God he was wrong. Please, God, let me get there in time!

 

* * *

 

With his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans, Shuichi walked down the crowded sidewalk with his head bowed. He stared at the ground, but did not really see it. With each step he took towards the clinic, it felt as if his feet were getting heavier and heavier. His heart hurt. His stomach was in knots and he felt nauseous. His chest was tight and his breathing was sharp and labored. He really did not want to do this, but what other choice did he have?

 

* * *

 

Watching from the shadows, Taki followed several feet behind the kid. He was careful to stay hidden and not let Shuichi see him. He had been getting off the bus on his way to his new job when he spotted his ex-lover.

A surge of anger washed over him. Shuichi ruined everything. Everything! Because of Shuichi’s big mouth, Kizou kicked him and the guys out of the compound. That same night, the executives at NG denied them a contract with the new record company claiming they just did not have what they were looking for. On top of that, the pink haired idiot decided that he did not need him anymore. He’d found himself a better lover. Ha! There was only one person good enough for Shuichi and that was him Taki Aizawa! It was about time he showed Shuichi that.

 

* * *

 

Ryuichi paced the living room of the apartment he shared with his long time boyfriend and partner, Tatsuha   
Uesugi. He was restless and itching to go find his baby Shu-Shu himself, but he promised Tatsuha he would stay here and wait. Tatsuha had assured him that Shuichi would return home safe and sound, but that had been several hours ago and he had not heard anything from his lover since. He was really beginning to worry.

Unbidden doubts and fears crept into his mind, but Ryuichi shook them aside before they could fully form. He would not give in. Not yet. Kyoto was a big place with lots of places for Shuichi to hole up in. It was bound to take time, but Ryuichi was not sure how long he would be able to continue believing everything was going to be all right.

 

* * *

 

The yard and house were teaming with members of the Uesugi and Usami families. The children were racing around the yard, playing ball, and hanging all over the trees surrounding the pond. Some of the littlest ones were splashing around in the cool waters of the pond under the watchful eye of their parents or older siblings. The teenagers congregated together in groups, the females on one side of the yard and the males on the other. They huddled together, whispering, giggling and making eyes at each other. The adults spoke in hushed tones far from prying eyes and ears.

Tohma Seguchi stood apart from them. His wife was sitting on the back porch wearing a beautiful red and white flowered kimono and held a koto in her lap. Ivory picks strapped with leather bands to her thumb, the index and middle fingers of her right hand was plucking the strings of the Japanese instrument. The two meter long 13 stringed instrument that is said to resemble a dragon echoed across the yard in sharp contrast to the hushed stoic atmosphere.

This past weekend was supposed to have been a time for the affianced to meet and get to know one another before the wedding, but Eiri had snubbed the dinner and ignored the party all together. This get-together was supposed to give the two families a chance to meet and see the betrothed together. Tatsuha explained at the dinner party that Eiri had prior plans and would not be able to make it. Everyone had been angry, to say the least, and rightfully so. The dinner party had been for him after all. It was supposed to have given him a chance to meet his future bride. The real reason for the “family dinner” had been kept from most members of both families, but either Eiri had somehow known the truth or frankly did not care about some stupid family get-together. Tohma had a suspicion it was a little of both. Truthfully, Tohma could not blame the man for blowing off dinner.

Tohma looked up as Mr. Uesugi emerged from the house. “Father,” he greeted with a smile bowing his head at the elder man.

“Tohma,” the monk returned as he passed him.

Tohma watched as his father-in-law walked across the yard towards his mother and her two sisters, who were speaking adamantly, to those gathered around them. Those listening wore aghast and angry expressions on their faces. They were clearly shocked at whatever they were being told. He could not hear anything that was being said and he wondered what was going on.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of Ayaka Usami at the buffet table, shoveling food in her mouth as if she had not eaten in years. It did not look as if she was even taking the time to chew. Tohma watched as she gobbled everything in sight in disgusted fascination.

He’d heard some whisperings earlier that Eiri had been here. He wondered if that was why everyone seemed to be so hot and bothered. Curiosity getting the better of him, Tohma reached inside his kimono sleeve for his cellphone and dialed his brother-in-law's number from memory.

 

* * *

 

As a traffic light turned red, Eiri slowed and waited semi-impatiently behind a small compact car.

He took a final drag on his cigarette before stubbing it out in his ashtray, blowing out a thin stream of smoke out the partially cracked window. Rolling up the window, he cranked the air on. The car turned instantly cold.

He still had no idea what he was going to do about him and Shuichi. He loved the kid, had ever since he laid eyes on him in that bar a year ago. You could berate him or poke fun of him. You could say that he had a shouta complex, but Eiri knew that more than anything, he wanted to be with the kid, to love and be loved by him. Shuichi made him happy. Eiri was well established at having a cold, stoic, heartless personality, but when he was with the kid, he found himself unable to stop smiling. The kid was constantly on his mind, whether they were together or not. He was always looking around for Shuichi and wondered what he was doing. Without Shuichi, he felt cold and lonely. When they were together, all he wanted to do was keep him locked within his arms, make him happy, and see him smile.

The light changed and traffic moved again. Eiri shut off the air and wove in and out of traffic.

The outside world vanished. The sounds, smells and sights that permeated the Kyoto scene slid away and was replaced with a picture of his pink haired lover.

Despite the fact that Shuichi made his heart race and his palms sweat, despite the fact that he wanted nothing more than to be with Shuichi, it was still hard. He was still afraid. Just because he’d discovered the skeleton in his family closet, did not mean that anything changed. He was not going to change overnight just because everything he always believed to be true was now a big lie. Even though he knew what he wanted, part of him was trying to talk him out of it because of those deeply rooted fears.

Eiri sighed. He had to talk with Shuichi. Maybe then, things would begin to clear.

He slowed to a stop at another red light just as his cellphone rang. He grabbed it off the console between the driver and passenger seats. He sighed deeply after he checked the LCD screen. He did not need this. Flipping the phone open, he snapped, “What the hell do you want?”

“Well, hello to you too, Eiri,” came Tohma's soft voice over the line.

Eiri growled softly and heard his brother-in-law chuckle. “Was there a point to this phone call?” When the light changed, Eiri floored it and blasted through the intersection.

“Actually, I was wondering what it was you and your grandmother discussed that has gotten her and your two aunts so upset.”

Eiri raised an eyebrow in surprise. “So you were there.”

“Yes and it seems as if you are not.”

“Damn right,” Eiri grumbled.

Tohma chuckled.

“Don't tell me. You got a new car.”

“Actually, yes I did.”

Even over the phone, Eiri could see his brother-in-law’s grin. Eiri rolled his eyes. “I knew it.”

“…So?”

The light changed and Eiri sped down the busy street.

Sighing, Eiri told Tohma about the confrontation he had with his grandmother, Aunt Shuri and Aunt Sanami and then later with Ayaka as he was trying to leave. Strangely enough, he had no reservations with telling him about his relationship with Shuichi. He was not sure why. Maybe it was because ever since he realized he’d fallen in love with the kid, all he has wanted to do was stand atop the Kyoto Tower and shout out to the world. It was eating him up inside to keep it a secret, but he knew that was what must be done, with Shuichi being a minor and all. If it did get out or the wrong people got hold of this information, then he could be arrested and he would never see his lover again.

Just the mere thought of never being able to see Shuichi again was…A heavy weight dropped into the pit of his stomach. It was something he did not want to even think about. He cleared his throat and blinked away the tears before they had a chance to form. As much as losing Shuichi scared him, he trusted Tohma; just as he trusted his brother--who he was sure already knew--not to say something, but not everyone was going to be like Tatsuha and Tohma. Those are the people he had to be careful of.

 

* * *

 

Tohma sat on the porch besides his wife who was taking a break from playing the koto. He made sure to keep his face carefully blank as he listened to his brother-in-law's confession. “Eiri,” he sighed after the other man was finished. He remembered seeing Shuichi getting into a black Mercedes outside of NG just yesterday. While it was rare to see a foreign car on the streets of Japan, it was not unheard of and Eiri was not the only one in Japan to own one. He had had his suspicions, but had been hoping they were unfounded.

Mika glanced over at her husband curiously.

“Don't Tohma.”

Tohma had known both Shuichi and Eiri their entire lives. He cared deeply for both of them and only wanted the best for both men. “You do know that he is just a boy.”

 

* * *

 

Eiri pictured his pink haired lover, his lithe, boyish, but toned frame, his silky, strawberry scented hair and his soft full lips, his velvety smooth skin slick with sweat, his breathy moans and cries as he was pounded into. Eiri took a shuttering breath and felt himself growing hard just as the mere thought of his lover. Shuichi was more than a boy. Oh, yes. Much more. “I'm well aware of what he is Tohma.”

Tohma sighed heavily into the receiver. “I know you do, but…just be careful. Okay?”

Eiri did not say anything. What did Tohma think he was? An idiot? He would do nothing to jeopardize his relationship with Shuichi.

“Are you sure about this?” Tohma asked softly. “You do know that this could-”

“Tohma,” Eiri interrupted. “I know. I'm well aware of the risks.” They plagued his mind every single second of every single day.

“Just be careful, alright? I don't want to see either one of you hurt.”

As unrealistic as that sentiment was, Eiri thanked the older man for it.

 

* * *

 

Tohma blinked in surprise. Had Eiri just thanked him? Before he had time to mull it over, he was listening to the dial tone. He pulled the phone away and stared at it, then chuckled.

“Was that my good for nothing brother?” Mika demanded.

“It was,” he affirmed with a small bow.

She crossed her arms over her chest. “And?”

Tohma glanced at her. “And what my dear?” he asked her innocently.

“What did he have to say himself?”

A smile crept across the president's face. “It seems that Eiri has found his own bride.”

Taken back, Mika blinked at her husband.

 

* * *

 

In his car, Eiri tossed his cell onto the passenger seat. Strangely, he felt as if a giant weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

 

* * *

 

The clinic was a block away and Shuichi's feet felt like lead, his stomach in knots. He was so nervous he was nauseous. His chest was tight and his heart hurt; it was almost like a bad case of heartburn, but Shuichi knew the pain in his chest was not burning discomfort, though he wished that was what it was.

As much as he wanted to, he could not cry. His tear ducts were like a river that had dried up centuries ago leaving behind a dry, cracked seabed. None of this felt real. He would give anything for this to be a dream or a sick joke.

Licking dry lips, Shuichi swallowed painfully and crossed the street when the light changed, but he moved like the walking dead. It was all automatic. His feet were taking him forward, but he was not aware of anything that was happening around him. He could not hear the traffic noise, the curses and angry honks or the jolts and shoves from the passers-by. He could not hear their curses follow him or see their annoyed glares when he bumped into them. He was not aware of the man that was following him, just waiting for the right time to strike.

 

* * *

 

Taki remained a discrete distance away, trying to stay far enough behind the boy so that he was not spotted and yet close enough so that he could keep him within sight and not lose him.

There was a war brewing inside of him. One-half of him wanted to take revenge on the boy for ruining his life and the other part wanted to make him see that his decision to be with that perverted writer instead of him was the biggest mistake of his life. He wanted to prove to Shuichi that he could take better care of him than that blond bastard ever could.

The leader of ASK wove through the heavy stream of people that seemed to all be moving in one direction: against him. He felt like a fish trying to swim against the current. He pushed and elbowed his way through the throng of people, trying to keep his query in sight, but finding it harder the longer he followed him.

After what seemed like forever, he noticed that Shuichi had stopped moving and was staring with a face as white as freshly fallen snow up at an indistinct looking building with a plain façade. As clichéd at the thought was, the boy looked like he had seen a ghost. At closer inspection, Taki noticed that Shuichi was trembling. No, the boy was shaking terribly. Taki glanced back at the building. Letters just as simple and plain as the building spelled out “Kyoto Clinic”. A doctor's office? Taki's brow furrowed in confusion. Why was Shuichi going to the doctor’s? The kid was the healthiest person he knew. All Shuichi ever needed was a general checkup, but if that was the case then why did Shuichi look like he was going to his own execution?

Curiosity getting the better of him, Taki turned toward a passing woman. “Excuse me?” he asked her.

The woman was young, in her mid-twenties Taki would guess and had on a sharp looking black skirted suit. She turned towards him with a smile.

“Do you know what kind of clinic this is?” he asked her politely, pointing to the clinic over his shoulder.

The woman glanced over his shoulder at the doctor's office and her smile slipped off her face. A look of disgust and aversion morphed her beautiful, sculpted features. “An abortion clinic,” she sneered.

Taki gasped. His eyes were as large as saucers. His jaw dropped and his eyes popped out of his head. He stared after the woman in stunned silence as she marched off down the street and vanished into the crowd. Spinning around, he gaped at the pink haired boy. An abortion clinic? But how…? Why was Shuichi here? Was he meeting a friend here, giving her morale support? Or was he the one with the appointment? Taki shook that thought aside. That was impossible. Had he not just confronted the boy about this? And had Shuichi not admitted that it was nothing more than wishful thinking? So, what was going on?

Before he knew it, he swallowed the space that separated him and the boy, determined to find the underlying cause.

 

* * *

 

As Shuichi stared up at the clinic, everything vanished. The pain in his chest, the feeling of numbness, everything. He felt detached from his body and from his surroundings. It was like he was floating above his body watching everything happen and he had no control over any of it.

He was vaguely aware of a sudden hand on his shoulder. He felt himself being turned around. Shuichi blinked, staring into the black eyes of his ex-lover, but he did not see them as he stared at them. He knew it was Taki standing before him, but at the same time, he was not aware of him.

Shuichi saw Taki's lips moving, watched as his Adam’s apple bopped up and down, but he could hear none of the words coming out of his mouth. Shuichi merely blinked. His eyes were too wide and his breathes were sporadic pants.

 

* * *

 

Taki growled in growing irritation and shook the boy none too gently. “Will you fucking answer me?! What the hell is wrong with you?” he hissed when the boy continued to play mute. This kid was really beginning to aggravate him.

 

* * *

 

Tatsuha slowed as the light turned red. He sat idly behind the wheel, drumming his thumb against the wheel. When the light changed, Tatsuha decided impulsively to turn left. As he drove, he kept one sharp eye open for his brother-in-law.

He could not find Shuichi. Trying to find the sixteen year old was beginning to turn into a search for a needle in a haystack.

After getting that phone call from Hiro, Tatsuha rushed to the guitarist's apartment and from there, renewed his search for the pink haired singer, but it was as if Shuichi simply vanished. He could not have been more than fifteen minutes away from Hiro's apartment when Hiro called him. How in the world in that short amount of time, had Shuichi been able to melt within the shadows of the city? Was the kid Harry Houdini, or something?

Tatsuha was just about to reach his breaking point. He knew he promised Ryuichi he would not return without his brother, but this was beginning to look like a futile search. It was beginning to look as if Shuichi did not want to be found. Tatsuha was just about to give up, but decided to check one last street. He slowed and turned the corner. That was when he spotted a pink head among the sea of black.

“Shuichi?”

He slowed down as he passed what appeared to be a clinic. He glanced over his shoulder, trying to get a better look at the person with the bright pink hair. A sudden honking from behind him startled him out of his musings. With his heart pounding in his chest, Tatsuha shot off down the street, trying to find an empty parking space.

That was Shuichi. He was sure of it.

 

* * *

 

Eiri clamped a cigarette between his lips and slid it out of the now empty pack. He crumbled the plastic wrapper and tossed it onto the seat besides him.

He was fumbling for his lighter on the console between the seats when out of the corner of the eye he caught sight of the SUV in front of him slow almost to a stop. “What the fuck?” he cried out in exasperation as he slammed on his brakes. Tossing his unlit cigarette onto the floor, he slammed the heel of his hand onto his horn, letting loose his frustration with being caught in rush hour traffic. “Fucking bastard,” he snapped when the car peeled off with a squeal from the tires. “Moron. They'll give anyone a license these days.”

He was about to take off himself when a flash of pink caught his attention. His heart immediately skipped a beat as his brain made the jump from “pink” to “Shuichi”. He was beginning to think the kid was some sort of Wiccan or practiced Voodoo, or something, because the kid had somehow managed to place some sort of spell over him.

He turned to look and everything seemed to slow down. He swore he stopped breathing and his heart stopped beating. “Shuichi,” he breathed. Suddenly his fears and doubts vanished and the clouds that seemed to have obscured his sight the past twenty-four hours dissipated, leaving him with sudden clarity.

A smile crossed his face, but it slipped off when his golden hazel eyes landed on the hands gripping his lover's beautiful, supple skin. A surge of white-hot anger and jealousy like he never felt before poured through him. Eiri gritted his teeth with a dangerously low growl. His hands gripped the steering wheel, squeezing it like he was trying to make juice. That bastard was dead. Dead! He warned him! He stood nose to nose with that bastard and told him to stay away from Shuichi!

Eiri slammed on the brakes and jerked the wheel hard. His Mercedes skid across the street with loud squeals from the tires and kicking up dust and gravel from the pavement. Cars slammed on their brakes and swerved hard to avoid him, painting the road with thick, black lines. Angry honks filled the air. There were the sounds of metal against metal and the shattering of glass.

It did not escape him that that asshole Aizawa was now plastered against the front of the building and not all over his Shuichi. What he did not see was a sixteen-year-old boy staring at him with wide-eyed terror.

 

* * *

 

Half a block away, Tatsuha's heart leapt into his throat. He froze and watched a sleek black car that looked very familiar spin out, causing several accidents and dozens of near misses. “What the hell?” he wondered out-loud. He watched as the car spun, doing a near perfect one-eighty as it slid towards the curb…and Shuichi. “Oh my god,” Tatsuha moaned. He raced towards his brother-in-law as the car bumped widely as it ran up onto the sidewalk. The people scattered, screaming. Tatsuha pushed past them as he tried to get to Shuichi.

 

* * *

 

His eyes wide in terror and his heart thumbing wildly, Shuichi heaved a huge sigh of relief as the car skidded to a halt several yards from where he stood. Moments later, the car door burst open and a very familiar man stepped out onto the sidewalk. Shuichi gasped and took a step towards his lover. “E-Eiri?” What did he think he was doing? Trying to get all of them killed? “Eiri, what're…?” His words died as he took one look at the man's face. The blond haired, golden-eyed writer looked like a raging bull as he marched towards him.

The stunned and muttering people scattered out of his way, clearing a path for the obviously psychotic man.

Fear swept through Shuichi, taking away his voice. It froze him to the spot. He stood staring at his lover, unable to breathe, unable to move, unable to speak. He had never been so scared in his life. Amethyst eyes could do nothing more than watch the pale god as he…marched right past him? What? His fright melted away and a sense of calm washed over him, followed closely by deep confusion. Shuichi watched as Eiri advanced on a tall, thin man dressed in a pair of black dress slacks and a matching jacket over a brightly colored button down shirt.

He jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder. He looked over his shoulder. “Tatsuha!”

Breathing hard, Tatsuha nodded, as he doubled over, his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. “Are--you--alright?” he panted.

Shuichi nodded, turning back towards his rampaging boyfriend just as Eiri grabbed Taki by the throat and threw him up against the wall.

Pain exploded across Taki’s face as the back of his head smashed against the stone façade of the building. His mouth gapped open, his hands wrapping around Eiri’s larger ones ringing his neck like a dishrag.

“Didn't I warn you?” Eiri hissed, shoving his face into Taki's. “Didn't I?” he yelled. Eiri shook the man, banging him against the wall. “Did I not tell you to stay the fuck away from him?” he hissed. “Huh?! Do you remember what I said I'd do if I saw your filthy ass again?”

Shuichi watched as Taki's face turned a vibrant shade of blue. His eyes were bugging out of his head and his mouth worked like a fish out of water.

Tears blurred his vision as Shuichi glanced at his lover's contorted face. Those golden hazel eyes were cold and hard. His chest tightened and his throat constricted against a sob. He had to stop Eiri before he killed Taki. As much as he hated the lead singer of ASK, he did not want him dead, especially if it meant Eiri being arrested and thrown in jail for the rest of his life. He loved Eiri. Eiri was his entire world. He needed Eiri. If he lost Eiri, he would die. He would seriously die. Shuichi rushed forward and grabbing Eiri's hands, pulled on them, but Eiri's arms were like steel.

Tatsuha gave a start. “Shuichi,” he called out, reaching out for the boy. That was when he became aware of their audience. An ever growing crowd of people surrounded them, whispering and pointing. He thought he heard someone say something about the cops. “Dammit,” he whispered. That was all they needed. He was just glad nobody had recognized his brother yet. Even though Eiri was a best selling author, his picture was not plastered on the backs of his books and he hardly ever made public appearances, hardly ever did interviews and never did photo shoots. As well known as he was, there were a limited number of people who actually knew who he was. Right now, Tatsuha was glad fort that.

“Eiri! Eiri, please!”

Shuichi's hysterical cries snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Please stop this,” Shuichi sobbed. Tears spilled down his face. He tightened his grip on Eiri's arms. “I don't want to lose you,” he shouted frantically.

Thrust back to reality, Eiri blinked stupidly as the blind anger that overcame him drained slowly out of his system. His hold on Taki slackened as he glanced over his shoulder and spied his pink haired lover. His heart shattered when he saw the misery on his young face. “Shuichi,” he whispered.

His feet unable to hold his weight, Taki crumbled to the ground. Glaring up at the blond author’s retreating back angrily, Taki coughed and rubbed his sore neck.

Tatsuha breathed a sigh of relief as he watched his older brother engulf Shuichi.

Shuichi wrapped his arms around Eiri's waist tightly and buried his face in his older lover's chest.

Stepping forward, Tatsuha opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by a hoarse voice.

“Saved once again by your white night,” Taki hissed stepping towards the group.

Shuichi's smile slipped off his face. Keeping his hold on his lover, he turned in Eiri’s arms just enough to glare at the other man.

Eiri, holding Shuichi protectively, turned his head slowly and glowered at Taki. Much to his pleasure, Taki withered slightly but Taki was able to regain his wits and stood up straight, staring right back at Eiri just as coldly. “I suggest you leave,” Eiri growled. “Now. Before I change my mind and skin your ass alive.”

“Oh, no,” Taki shook his head. “Not until I get some answers.”

Shuichi paled. In all the commotion, he had completely forgotten where he was and why. He suddenly felt sick.

Eiri glanced at his lithe lover out of the corner of his eyes when he felt him tense. Shuichi's hold on his shirt tightened. Letting go of Shuichi, Eiri started towards Taki, but Taki stood his ground. “I--said--get--lost,” he hissed through clenched teeth.

Taki stood nose to nose with the blond haired, golden-eyed author. “Not until he tells me why the hell he was heading into an abortion clinic,” he hissed right back.

Shuichi's stomach churned. He threw a hand over his stomach and the other over his mouth. Oh God, he thought. Tears that had begun to dry sprung back to life.

“What?” Tatsuha blinked at his brother-in-law. Was that what he had been doing all day?

Shock and disbelief crossed Eiri's face. Shuichi? An abortion clinic? What was he talking about? Eiri shook off his bewilderment and growled menacingly at the bastard.

“Back off,” Taki barked. He was glad his voice did not betray how terrified he actually was of this dude. Inside he was trembling like a leaf. “If he's pregnant I have the right to know!”

Oh, God! Please do not do this, Shuichi silently begged.

“If he's far enough along that he's thinking of getting an abortion, than that rules you out as the father, Romance Man,” Taki snapped, poking a finger into Eiri's chest. He was gaining more confidence as he went along.

Shuichi's head snapped up and he paled, this time for a different reason. He’d realized early on that Eiri was not in contention as the father of his child, but to hear it stated out loud was different from saying it in one’s own head.

Taki smirked smugly at the stunned writer. “And ever since Kizou had testicular cancer, Man Land just has not been the same,” he pouted.

Shuichi swooned. If Tatsuha had not been there to catch him, he would have fallen and cracked his head open. He choked back a rainfall of tears, sobbing against the hand over his mouth.

Rage surged through Eiri. He clenched his hands into tight balls of fury and advanced towards the man.

Taki's smugness vanished and was replaced by a deep, bone-chilling terror. He paled. His eyes were wide as saucers. He stood frozen to the sidewalk, unable to breathe or call out for help.

Eiri stopped an inch away from the man and leaned his face towards Taki’s until their noses were almost touching. “Get--lost,” he hissed, seething with anger. He watched through narrowed eyes as Taki's body jerked into action.

The man stumbled backwards, losing his balance and falling flat on his ass. He scrambled to his feet and shoved his way through the crowd. “I won't forget this,” he called back, beside himself with anger at both himself for his weakness and at the writer for just being. “You wait and see! This isn't the end!”

Growling, Eiri took one-step towards the retreating man and Taki shrieked like a girl, his eyes getting even wider.

Everything seemed to slow down at that moment. Everyone watched as the tall, lanky, dark haired, dark eyed man tripped over his own two feet in his haste to be rid of Eiri. He staggered backwards towards the curb, trying to catch himself. He balanced precariously on the lip of the curb, his arms flailing around like a windmill.

With help from Tatsuha, Shuichi stood up, stared wide-eyed, and pale at Taki, but for a far different reason.

Someone from the crowd rushed forward to help the man, but when their hands hit, it sent Taki tumbling backwards and out into traffic and into the path of an on-coming car.

People screamed.

Brakes screeched.

Tires squealed.

Shuichi felt lightheaded and faint. Feeling uncomfortably warm and nauseous, his eyes rolled up and everything went black. The last thing he remembered was hearing the sickening crunch of metal against bone.

 

* * *

 

It was total chaos outside the Kyoto Clinic.

Traffic was being diverted around the scene. What traffic was getting by was slow going as curious drivers tried to see what was going on. Sharp, angry honks permeated the air as drivers stuck further back in traffic that had no idea what was going on, lost their patience.

The area around the clinic had been cordoned off by yellow police tape. A wall of people gathered around the crime scene, eager for a glimpse of something to satisfy their curiosity, something they would be able to brag about to their coworkers the next day.

“You'll never guess what I saw…!”

A small, white compact car sat as a silent assassin several yards from where the dark red pool lay congealing in the late summer evening. The car’s front windshield was a spider web of cracks.

Tatsuha could still hear the unnaturally loud squeal of the brakes, the “thunks” as Taki Aizawa--he would learn later--rolled up the hood and then crashed into the glass of the windshield. It had been a god-awful sight. He nearly regurgitated everything he ate that day. The emergency medical technicians arrived on the scene faster than normal. He figured they had been in the area, maybe having just completed a run, but as fast as the EMTs arrived, Tatsuha had a feeling in the end it would not matter.

He watched the Crime Scene Technicians as they studied the scene of the deadly accident. Markers were being placed around the roped off area. Pictures were being snapped. Statements were being made by people who “witnessed” what happened. The cops had hulled his brother off after several eyewitnesses stated he drove like a maniac, nearly causing several accidents. They also claimed Eiri threatened Taki. If it were anyone other than Eiri, Tatsuha would not have believed it, but it was Eiri. It was when his brother did not make a threat that Tatsuha started to worry. He hoped his brother could get himself out of this mess, if for nothing more than for Shuichi's sake.

He turned his head away from the grizzly sight of the accident and caught sight of the driver of the car that hit Taki, a panicky brunette who could not be more then twenty, being interviewed by another officer.

“He just came out of nowhere,” she sobbed wide eyed in what Tatsuha could clearly see was shock. She began panting, her chest rising and falling rapidly. “Oh God! It was as if he just fell out of the sky! I--I just--I didn't have time to stop…!”

The police officer bent his head down and started speaking in low, soft tones to the panicky woman, probably trying to calm her down so she did not start hyperventilating. Over her shoulder, he motioned for one of the EMTs. A small, thin man rushed over and escorted the young woman back to the ambulance, speaking in the same low, soft tones.

Tatsuha’s eyes roamed over to the other ambulance where his brother-in-law was now resting. He hoped Shuichi was going to be all right. He was extremely worried about the kid. So much happened recently. He has been through a hell of a lot in just the past twenty-four hours.

Tatsuha had no idea how or when, but sometime during the chaos, Ryuichi showed up. Tatsuha could not recall if he called his boyfriend or if the singer found out some other way. It was all a big blur, but no matter how Ryuichi came to be here, he was glad he was.

“Mr. Uesugi,” said a brash voice pulling him out of his thoughts.

Tatsuha blinked and turned back to the police officer before him. There was nothing outstanding about the guy. He was of medium build, average height and weight, black hair and dark eyes just like everyone else in the country. His uniform was crisp and clean. He was a man you would easily forget the second he walked away.

“You said you did not know, Mr. Aizawa, correct?”

“Huh? Yeah,” Tatsuha nodded. “I think Shuichi knew him, though. It seemed like they knew each other anyway. And I think my brother had a run in with him before.”

“Why do you say that?”

_“Didn't I warn you?”_ he remembered Eiri saying to the guy. _“Didn't I? Did I not tell you to stay the fuck away from him? Huh?! Do you remember what I said I'd do if I saw your filthy ass again?”_

The officer nodded as he made note of the confrontation. “Do you happen to know what went down the last time they met?”

Tatsuha shook his head. “Sorry. Knowing my brother, he probably threatened the guy.”

“Does your brother have a tendency to go around threatening people?”

Tatsuha snorted. “Just jerks like this Taki guy and from what little I saw of what happened earlier, Taki seemed like a complete asshole. It looked like he was deliberately provoking my brother, too. It was clear Taki was harassing Shu, shaking him and yelling in his face.” Tatsuha did not blame his brother for threatening Taki and nearly strangling him to death. Tatsuha had been this close to doing the same damn thing. “Eiri and Shu are…very close,” to say the least, he added silently, “and Eiri has a tendency to be overly protective of him. I guess when he saw Taki harassing him, he snapped, especially if it happened before.”

The officer raised an eyebrow. “You said your brother and Mr. Shindou are close.”

Tatsuha mentally cursed.

“What's your brother's relationship with Mr. Shindou?” The officer lifted his head and stared at Tatsuha intently.

Tatsuha stiffened minutely.

Of all the questions...

What did it matter anyway? What bearing did it have on anything?

Their relationship? Yes, officer. They are currently dating. No, I do not know how long, but I do know that they are lovers. From what I understand, my dear older twin brother has buried and emptied himself into the child countless times over the last week or two. They are as close as two people can become. Yes, I am aware that Eiri is twenty-two and Shuichi is only sixteen, but you see they are truly in love.

Yeah, right.

Instead, he said, “Shuichi's my brother-in-law.” Not exactly a lie. Just not the whole truth. He held his breath, hoping the man would not pry any further. He did not want to get his brother into any more trouble than he already was. If Eiri were caught having an inappropriate relationship with a minor, his career as a writer would be ruined and he would be carted off to jail. It was not that bad of a sentence, only a couple of years. It could be worse, but…

Tatsuha shivered.

…he’d heard stories of what was done to people who were accused of crimes against children. He would not wish that on his worst enemy.

“So, you're married to Mr. Shindou's…”

“Half-brother.” Well, not legally. He and Ryuichi had had a civil union, but why split hairs? He nodded over his shoulder to the ambulance. “He's in there with his brother now.” He knew they would want to confirm what he just claimed. He just hoped Ryuichi did not blow this. As much as Ryuichi loved Shuichi and wanted the kid to be happy, he was not too partial on his involvement with Eiri.

“Okay,” the police officer said nodding. “In your own words, Mr. Uesugi, tell me what happened.”

“Taki and Eiri were arguing. I'm not sure what about,” Tatsuha added, knowing that would be the cop‘s next question.

It was not as if he got his kicks from lying. If the cops found out he lied to them, his ass was grass and they were the lawnmower, but he felt it was not his place to say anything. It was up to Shuichi. If Shuichi wanted to tell the police what went down between him, Eiri and Taki, then that was up to him, but Tatsuha just could not bring himself to say anything. Not as if it mattered. What bearing did what they were arguing about have on the fact that Taki tripped over his own damn two feet right into traffic?

“Eiri told Taki to leave. At first the guy refused, but finally Eiri managed to persuade him.”

“How'd your brother manage to do that?”

Tatsuha smirked. “My brother can be very--convincing, especially when he's pissed off.”

The uniformed man nodded. “How did Mr. Aizawa fall into the street? What did you see?”

Tatsuha shuddered violently as the memory replayed in his mind. The image was forever seared into his mind. He would probably have nightmares for weeks. “He tripped over his own two feet.” If it were not so serious, it would have been funny. Now it was just sad. He took a shuddering breath. “He…He lost his balance and…fell into traffic.”

He could clearly hear as the white car slammed on its brakes and skidded forward. All the screams. He saw as the car slammed into Taki. Taki's body jolted with the jarring impact. His limp body flew up and rolled over the hood, slamming into the windshield. When the car finally stopped, Taki's body flew off the car and sailed through the air, landing with a sickening crunch several yards away.

The police officer nodded. “Alright,” he said, snapping a grateful Tatsuha out of his thoughts. “Thank you, Mr. Uesugi. I have your contact information here just in case we have any follow up questions.”

Tatsuha inclined his head. He watched as the officer crossed the crime scene to join several plain clothed detectives. Sighing, he started towards the ambulance where Shuichi was. He had not taken more than several steps when Ryuichi, complete with his cowboy hat and sunglasses popped out of the back and looked around frantically. When the older singer caught sight of him, he waved. Tatsuha's heart started beating wickedly in his chest.

“He woke up,” the older singer called.

Tatsuha's heart soared. “Thank God,” he whispered. He raced towards his boyfriend and their charge.

 

* * *

 

The interrogation room was small, cold and not very impressive. There were no windows or anything luxurious about the place. The boxy room had a table set up against the far wall with two not so comfortable chairs, one on either side of the table. In the corner was a camera that would record everything said and done. Slouching in one of those hard chairs was famous romance author Eiri “Yuki” Uesugi, an ankle resting on the knee of his other leg.

His foot bounced, belaying his impatience. His blond hair was mussed and his golden hazel eyes filled with worry. He brought up the cigarette pinched between his fingers and inhaled deeply, the embers at the tip glowing red. The fingers of his free hand tapped an impatient tattoo against the tabletop. Blowing out a thin stream of smoke, Eiri leaned forward and crushed out the butt.

When the door to the interrogation room opened, Eiri looked up. “Finally,” he breathed.

As soon as the police arrived and had a basic overview of what happened, they brought him in for questioning. Because he was not being charged with anything yet, there had not been any need to slap handcuffs on him. They just placed in him the back of the squad car and brought him here.

“Want anything?” one of them had asked.

“Coffee. Black. And cigarettes,” he added as the man was leaving.

That was an hour ago. Maybe now they could finally get this whole thing over with so that he could get to Shuichi.

A different man from the one who brought him here walked carrying a file. He was tall, lanky and had thinning salt and pepper hair. There were small round marks on either side of his nose indicating the man wore glasses. Whom Eiri was assuming was a police officer shut the door behind him and slapped the file down on the table. With an air of calm about him and a face clear of emotion, Eiri looked from it to the man as he pulled out the other chair and sat down with a grunt.

“Mr. Uesugi, my name is Detective Hirano.”

Eiri inclined his head politely, even though inside he was seething with rage and irritation. He so did not have time for this! “Detective.”

Detective Hirano opened the file and pulled out a picture. Turning it around, he slid it across the table to the writer. “Do you recognize this man, Mr. Uesugi?”

Eiri regarded the picture. Without his glasses, the image was just a swirl of color. Unfortunately, his glasses were back in his car back at the accident site. He shrugged and set the picture back down. “Without my glasses, I couldn't tell you.”

The detective studied the writer through squinted eyes. “You wear glasses, Mr. Uesugi?”

Did he not just as much? “I'm far sighted, yes,” he said aloud in a polite voice. Moron, he thought.

“Well, this is the man that you tried to strangle earlier.”

Ah! That meant it was a picture of Taki Aizawa. An evil smirk titled the corner of his mouth. If Shuichi had not stopped him, he really would have killed that bastard. It would have felt so good, too. Eiri gritted his teeth and fisted his hands in sudden anger. Bastard. God, he really hated that guy! That bastard had the nerve to touch his Shuichi. Even after he warned him of the consequences. That asshole deserved everything he got! It was just too bad that the clumsy fool tripped over his own two feet. It would have felt so much more satisfying if it had been him pushing him in front of that car. Oh, well. Why split hairs? Dead was dead. Or so he hoped anyway.

The detective studied the famous author. “I take it you didn't like Mr. Aizawa very much.” It was more of a statement than a question.

Eiri snorted. Did not like the guy? That was the statement of the century. He reached for his pack of cigarettes and slid out a white stick, clamping it between his lips. “You can say that,” he mumbled around it.

“Tell me about your relationship with him.”

Relationship? With Taki Aizawa? What relationship? If you considered wanting to bash the guy's head in every time he so much as thought of the man a relationship then he was guilty as charged.

Grabbing the matches off the table in front of him, he ripped out one from the booklet and folded the paper lid back, encasing the tip of the match. He yanked the match and heard the familiar whoosh as the tip burst into flames. He threw the book of matches back onto the table. Holding the match to the tip of his cigarette, he inhaled deeply. With a couple violent shakes of his hand, the match went out. He tossed it onto the table next to the rest of the matches. Leaning back in the chair, he plucked the cigarette out of his mouth and blew out a long, thin stream of smoke.

“When did you first meet Mr. Aizawa?” Detective Hirano asked breaking the silence.

Eiri thought about that. When did he have that first memorable encounter with that asshole? Had it really been only last week? “Friday.” That was right. Right before he was scheduled to leave for Tokyo. He had that unforgettable night with Shuichi.

A picture of his young lover flashed in his mind. A sudden yearning to see the little idiot swept through him. Worry gnawed at his heels. His chest tightened and his throat constricted over a sob as his mind replayed the heart stopping moment when he turned around and saw his little lover passed out in the arms of his brother. He hoped Shuichi was all right.

“Tell me about that meeting.” The troubled expression that flashed across the writer's face did not go unnoticed by the aging detective. He made note of it and filed it away for later.

Eiri took a long drag of the cigarette, thinking back to what he had witnessed that day. “He was harassing Shuichi,” he hissed with a renewal of anger.

“What do you mean by that?”

Eiri told the officer what it was he witnessed that day as he‘d pulled up for his rendezvous with Shuichi, but made sure to be careful how he referred to the boy.

“I assume you did not like that very much,” Detective Hirano said neutrally. “I know I wouldn’t.”

Eiri inwardly sneered at the faked sympathy.

“What happened then?”

“Smashed him face first into the nearest building,” Eiri admitted.

_Eiri leaned forward until his lips rested against Taki's ear. “Touch him again and you're a dead man,” he hissed. Shoving Taki into the building, Eiri let him go and backed away._

_Shuichi raced forward and latched onto Eiri’s arm, half-hiding behind him._

_Taki turned around, favoring his sore arm. He glowered at the couple. “I won't forget this,” he promised._

_The stoic writer slipped off his sunglasses and took a menacing step forward. His golden hazel eyes bore coldly into the dark, angry eyes of the other singer. “You come near him, speak to him, come into contact with him in any way, shape or form and I--will--kill--you.”_

Eiri leaned forward and crushed out his cigarette butt. “Then he ran away with his tail between his legs.”

“Tell me, Mr. Uesugi,” the detective said, leaning forward, “do you always make it a habit of threatening people?”

“Only if they touch something that's not theirs.”

Detective Hirano regarded the man who was rumored to be stoic and heartless. He sat back in his chair. “Tell me, Mr. Uesugi, what were you doing outside an abortion clinic?”

Eiri's head snapped around. He stared wide eyed at the detective. An abortion clinic? He felt numb with shock. He had completely forgotten about that.

“Mr. Uesugi?”

If Shuichi was at an abortion clinic and if what that asshole said was true, that Shuichi was indeed pregnant, that meant Shuichi was indeed a Neutral. All his earlier suspicions were now confirmed. He was not sure how he felt about that. He did know he loved Shuichi, had since he first laid eyes on him a year ago singing with his band in some bar he just happened to be at. Was the fact that the love of his life was now what some people called a “freak of nature” instead of a normal male going to stop him from being happy--from spending the rest of his life with someone that made his heart skip, his pulse race and his mouth go dry every time he was in the room?

Eiri jumped when a loud fleshy slap silenced the silence.

“Mr. Uesugi…”

Eiri blinked. Oh, that was right. The nice detective had asked him a question. Now, what had it…? Ah, yes! What had he been doing there outside the clinic? Trying to strangle Aizawa, but aloud he said, “I was on my way home from my father's when I saw that bastard harassing Shuichi. Again.” His eyes were hard, his body tensed with his hatred.

“There're people who can confirm this?”

“Unfortunately.”

The detective regarded him with a raised eyebrow.

“My family runs a temple and I was going there to meditate. I don't exactly get along with them and was not in the mood to hear a lecture about my looks or marital status,” or lack thereof, he added silently, “but I ran into my grandmother, two aunts and this chick my father wants me to marry.”

The detective nodded. “Alright. We will have one of the detectives confirm this. In the meantime, tell me what happened today.”

Eiri sighed. This was getting so tedious. All he wanted was to get the hell out of there. Therefore, like a prerecorded message, he told the nice detective to the best of his ability what happened earlier outside the clinic.

Detective Hirano listened intently and began deriving a conclusion. When Eiri finished explaining what took place, he said point blankly, “You're obviously very close to Mr. Shindou and have a lot of affection for him.” f he had not been looking for it, he would have missed it. The younger man's eyes twitched and his already pale complexion lost a little color, but he recovered so quickly that most people would not have noticed it at all. Bingo, he thought. “What's your relationship to Mr. Shindou?”

Without even having to think about it, Eiri said, “My brother’s married to his half-brother.”

Detective Hirano nodded. He expected him to say as much, but that was not what he was after. “I said ‘relationship', Mr. Uesugi, not ‘relation'.”

Eiri gulped, rubbing sweaty palms on his pant legs.

“How old are you, Mr. Uesugi?” the detective asked, helping the sweating author.

“Twenty-two.”

The detective nodded and leaned forward. “And Mr. Shindou is…?”

“Sixteen. Seventeen in April.”

“Making him a minor, correct?”

Eiri gulped. Yes, Shuichi was technically a minor. Shuichi was six years younger than he was and that was what scared Eiri the most. Because Shuichi was so young, there was a possibility that Shuichi would grow out of love with him; that their relationship was not what Eiri thought it was; that the love Shuichi felt was just puppy love, the love of a first crush and not meant to be. But…

Ah! Who gave a rat's ass! He loved the pink haired freak! He did not care what the kid was or was not, if it was true love or not. He, Eiri Uesugi, was totally and inexplicably in love with one, Shuichi Shindou and he did not care about anything else. He sat up straight in the chair and glared at the detective. Who was this guy to dictate whom he could or could not see? Love was love. It was not his fault if the person he happened to fall for was not only a guy but also sixteen years old.

Detective Hirano studied the man closely. With a smirk, he shook his head. “Ya know, Mr. Uesugi, it is illegal to have sex with a minor-“

Eiri tensed.

“-but there is nothing that says it's illegal to fall in love or date a minor.”

Eiri felt all the tension flow out of him in one fowl swoop. He sagged back in the chair and studied the detective in confusion. Why was this guy helping him? It was obvious that he knew the truth about his and Shuichi's relationship. This guy was no push over and was too sharp and smart to be this dumb. He opened his mouth to ask him just what was he playing at when the detective pushed back his chair and stood up suddenly.

Detective Hirano flipped the file closed and said, “It's clear that this was just a really horrible and unfortunate accident. You are free to go, Mr. Uesugi.”

Eiri was left speechless. He blinked. “That's it?”

“Yes, that's it.” The detective walked to the door and held it open for the writer. “Sorry about any inconvenience.”

Part of Eiri thought this was just some horrible joke, a trick to get him to incriminate himself. The other part said, “Fuck it”. That part won out. He grabbed his cigarettes, matches and got the hell out of the jailhouse as fast as he could. He had to get back to Shuichi. They had a lot they had to talk about.

 

**…To Be Continued…**


	7. Shuichi's Final Confession

**Chapter 7: Shuichi's Final Confession**

It was all very confusing to the sixteen-year-old when he finally regained consciousness.

Amethyst eyes fluttered open slowly and focused on the stark grey ceiling in confusion. Where was he? This place did not look familiar.

A warm hand enveloped his cold one. Shuichi turned his head and saw two men sitting side by side on a bench. Who were they? That guy with the shoulder length brown hair who was holding his hand looked vaguely familiar, as did the other guy with the shorter black hair and eyes sitting next to the first guy. When the one with the dark eyes turned to look at something past him, Shuichi turned and saw another man. Who was he? What was the uniform he was wearing and what was that strange instrument in his hands? The man opened his mouth. His lips were moving as if he was saying something, but Shuichi heard nothing.

Shuichi's mind blanked as he tried to take in everything at once. His mind spun. It was all too much for the boy. His eyes rolled back and he passed out once again.

 

* * *

 

“Shuichi! Shuichi,” Ryuichi called frantically.

The EMT shook his head and dropped the stethoscope around his neck. “He passed out again.”

Ryuichi sighed in defeat and slumped down on the bench.

Tatsuha glanced from the boy to the medical technician. “Is he going to be alright?”

“Yeah, he should be all right. There doesn't seem to be anything seriously wrong with him. From what you told me, I believe it's just shock. He's just overwhelmed.”

Tatsuha nodded, grateful that it was not anything serious.

Ryuichi bit his lip. He was not so sure. Shuichi fainted a little over an hour ago. He did not have a history of passing out. On top of that, he was pregnant. Or rather, there was a very strong possibility that he was. Shuichi may have taken a home pregnancy test earlier, but nothing was fool proof. If his little Shu-shu was indeed pregnant, this fainting spell may have something to do with that. The EMT originally told him they would treat Shuichi on site and when the boy finally woke, they would ask him if he wanted to go to the hospital just to be on the safe side, but Ryuichi was beginning to think that they should not wait until Shuichi woke. “Is it possible…?” Ryuichi gazed down at his brother lying comatose on the stretcher. “Can we bring him to the nearest hospital?” he asked the EMT.

“Sure,” the man nodded. “If that's what you want. Is there any specific reason why?”

Ryuichi opened his mouth to answer, but a different voice spoke.

“He's pregnant.”

The EMT’s eyes grew large in shock before he was able to school his expression. He stared from one man to the other. “Are you positive?”

Tatsuha nodded. “He took a pregnancy test this morning. It came out positive.”

“All right.” The EMT removed the stethoscope from around his neck and stood up as much as he was allowed in the small confines of the back of the ambulance. He reached for the doors and started to close them. Over his shoulder, he told the other men, “This might be serious. You should have told us earlier-” He cut himself off when he found that he was unable to close the door. It was stuck. “What the…?” He turned back and saw himself suddenly staring into a pair of yellow eyes. He let out a startled yelp and fell backwards, grimacing in pain when he hit his tailbone.

At the man's shocked cry, both Ryuichi and Tatsuha whipped their heads around. Tatsuha breathed a sigh of relief when he spotted Eiri standing outside the ambulance. Ryuichi on the other hand, glared almost evilly at his brother-in-law.

Eiri brother pushed the doors back open and stared at the limp form of his lover before him. Clearing his throat of a suspicious lump, the author pried his eyes from his teenaged lover to his twin brother. “How is he?” he choked out.

The EMT, fully recovered from his fright, stood back up and faced the newcomer. “Are you family?”

Before Eiri could open his mouth, Tatsuha spoke up. “Yes.”

The EMT nodded. “His stats look good, pulse, respiratory, everything, but he's only woken up once in the past hour and we're beginning to worry so we're going to be taking him to the hospital just in case something’s wrong and we just don't see it.”

As the man's words started to sink in, Eiri's golden hazel eyes widened. Fear and worry flashed across his face. He thought the boy just fainted from shock, or something, too many things happening at once. What else could it be? As far as he knew, Shuichi had no serious health…His eyes fell onto Shuichi’s still flat belly. Oh, dear God! The baby! Was it possible…? No! No! No! Both Shuichi and the baby were going to be fine. They had to be! He and Shuichi had only had a few short weeks together and he was going to be damned if the boy was going to be ripped from him so soon. They had a long and bright future ahead of them. There was so much he wanted to tell him. On the drive back here, Eiri did a lot of thinking about many things; his family and their dark secret, about him and Shuichi and the future of their relationship, and came to some decisions.

Tatsuha saw the emotions fly across his brother's face. He turned towards his lover. “Hey Ryu.” He watched as Ryuichi schooled his expression, but not before he saw the bitter hatred and resentment that masked the singer's face. Tatsuha sighed heavily. Ryuichi was so over-protective of his brother that he most likely blamed Eiri for everything that transpired here today. Tatsuha laid a hand on his boyfriend's arm and kissed him chastely. “I'll go with my brother and meet you guys there.”

Ryuichi nodded. He was having a hard time concentrating on what the young monk was saying. A surge of anger flushed through him. He could not help blaming that blond haired bastard for all this. If that man had not opened his big mouth during his date with his baby Shu-Shu, this would not be happening.

Tatsuha laid a hand on Ryuichi's arm and squeezed it gently. Standing up, he kissed the singer on the cheek once again and whispered, “He loves him. Don't worry.”

Eiri stepped aside for his brother as the younger man stepped out of the ambulance.

The doors were shut. A couple sharp bangs on the doors resounded and the vehicle vanished around the corner, with the Uesugi brothers staring after its exhaust fumes.

 

* * *

 

The emergency room was unusually quiet, for which Tatsuha, Ryuichi and Eiri were grateful. Neither Ryuichi nor Eiri wanted to deal with a swarm of fan-girls at the present moment. When they first arrived, there had been a few people in the waiting room, but now they were gone. Both were glad they had not been recognized. As much as they appreciated their fans, this was neither the time nor the place for such things. Though Eiri was known to be quite cold towards his fans, Ryuichi was known to be the opposite towards his and did not want to have to be rude to them.

Time seemed to move slowly in the hospital.

For what seemed like the zillionth time since they arrived, Eiri glanced up at the wall clock. He stared at the black and white face in disbelief. Only two minutes had passed since the last time he checked the time. That did not seem possible. The clock was obviously slow.

He sat on the opposite side of the waiting room from his brother and his brother’s lover who was radiating extreme dislike, not that Eiri could not blame Ryuichi.

What was he thinking? Of course, he could blame that idiotic moron. He’d done nothing to earn that man's animosity. All he did was fall in love with the man’s brother.

So he was six years older than the boy was. So what? Many couples were not the same age. His parents in fact, from what little he’d been able to find out, were at least a decade apart. And yes Shuichi may be a minor--at least for the next eight months anyway--but it was not like they were the first couple to break the law in order to be with one another and they certainly would not be the last.

Eiri was not sure what he did, or did not do, or what the guy's problem was, but Ryuichi was just going to have to live with whatever it was because there was no way in bloody hell he was going to give Shuichi up without a fight. Shuichi was his.

When he heard the swish of the doors that lead into the ER, Eiri's head snapped up and around.

All three men stood up when a woman in a long white lab coat stepped into the room. She looked young, maybe in her mid-thirties, with long reddish brown hair pulled back into a ponytail at the nape of her neck.

“Good evening. Are you here with Shuichi Shindou?” she asked them.

“Yes, we are,” Tatsuha answered. He laid a hand on Ryuichi's shoulder.

The woman inclined her head politely. “I am Dr. Nakamura. I examined Mr. Shindou.”

“How is he?” Ryuichi asked with concern, stepping forward.

Dr. Nakamura smiled at the singer. “Your brother is going to be fine,” she assured him.

The room seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.

Eiri's shoulders sagged in relief. Thank God, he thought. If anything would have happened to the kid, he would never be able to forgive himself.

“I believe his fainting spell was due to stress, shock-“

That made complete sense. It was obvious Shuichi had not intended to tell Eiri he was a Neutral or that he was pregnant. Not that Eiri could blame the teenager, especially after what he’d said last night at dinner. His comment probably…no, it had hurt and scared Shuichi. When Shuichi found out he was pregnant, he probably got scared that once Eiri found out, he would be kicked to the curb. Not only was the boy the very thing that Eiri said he despised, but Shuichi had lied to him about who and what he was. Two for two. No, Eiri could not blame his young lover for wanting to take drastic measures to keep it all concealed. The kid would do anything in order to have some stability in his life. Then to have that bastard Taki announce that the kid was going to have a baby? In addition to gloating about the fact that it was his? Not only had that asshole blurted out the very things Shuichi had wanted to keep quiet, but he pretty much confirmed the identity of the father of Shuichi’s unborn child. Eiri knew how much Shuichi hated Taki. Eiri despised Taki just as much, if not more, than Shuichi did.

“-and possibly from a lack of food,” Dr. Nakamura continued. “He told me he hasn't eaten since dinner last night.”

That idiot, Eiri mentally scolded his young lover.

“He's awake?” Ryuichi asked, grasping onto what the woman said.

Dr. Nakamura nodded. “Yes, he is.”

Ryuichi breathed another sigh of relief.

“Doctor, what about…?” Tatsuha started.

Dr. Nakamura smiled. “We preformed a Beta-HCG pregnancy test on Mr. Shindou like you requested. This test detects beta-HCG, a hormone normally produced during pregnancy, which is present in urine. It's faster than doing it the other way, which is to draw blood. That way takes several hours to several days. This way it's done in several minutes.”

Ryuichi latched onto his lover's arm tightly. He held his breath, waiting.

Eiri slowly made his way over to the where the others were standing.

“It came back positive.”

Ryuichi’s hold on Tatsuha loosened and he collapsed into the nearest chair.

“Are you sure?” Tatsuha asked Dr. Nakamura softly.

“Yes,” she nodded. “Just to be on the safe side, I would like for him to return in a week so we can perform the test again.”

“Why?”

“It's just to be sure.”

Tatsuha nodded and assured her that he would make sure Shuichi returned for a follow up.

Eiri stared at the woman in shock. Shuichi was…He was…He felt suddenly lightheaded. A thousands thoughts raced through his mind and at the same time his mind was blank. He was not sure what he had been hoping she would say and still was not sure what he thought. It was all very confusing. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and tried to steady himself. “Doctor,” he said quietly. “H…How far…Can you tell…?” His tongue twisted into a massive knot, leaving him tongue-tied.

“How far along he is?” Dr. Nakamura finished.

Eiri could do nothing more than nod. A herald of butterflies appeared in the pit of his stomach.

Tatsuha turned to stare at his brother. What was he thinking? What would he be thinking if he were in his brother's shoes? Answer: He had no freaking clue.

Ryuichi glanced at his brother-in-law out of the corner of his eye and frowned.

“Nine weeks.”

Eiri halted. He blinked stupidly at the doctor. Nine weeks? Shuichi was two months along into his pregnancy. That meant…That meant that…He remembered feeling shocked, bewildered, stunned and finally angry at Aizawa's statement. He had not wanted to deal with any of that crap at the time. He had not been able to deal with that mindless drivel that asshole had been spewing. It brought up too many things he had not wanted to deal with. Eiri had put it all on the back burner to simmer, but here it was, shoved right in his face. Eiri's throat constricted over a sudden lump and tears welled up in his eyes. A surge of grief and misery washed over him as the hard set of reality finally sunk in. What Aizawa said earlier was true.

“Are you the father?” Dr. Nakamura’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

Eiri cleared his throat as a heavy weight settled over his shoulders. “No,” he said, shaking his head negatively. His heart clenched. It was not his child his lover was carrying. He hadn’t realized that some part of him had actually been hoping that it was. “No, I'm not.” It hurt to admit that.

Tatsuha frowned sadly at his brother. Eiri looked devastated.

“Can we see him?” Ryuichi asked. He was glad Eiri was not the father. He liked the writer, just not with Shuichi.

Dr. Nakamura stepped aside and nodded. “Of course. This way gentlemen.”

She led them down a short corridor and into a large open space where at least a dozen hospital beds were made up then quietly excused herself. All the beds were empty except for one in the far corner where a small form lay huddled under the sheets. As they crept closer, they could clearly hear his soft muffled sobs. His narrow shoulders shook.

Eiri stood behind his brother and his lover, frowning sadly. He swallowed past a hard lump in his throat. Was it because of him? Was he the reason Shuichi sounded so distraught? He stood listening to his tiny lover sobbing. The poor kid sounded as if his whole world had come crashing down.

Ryuichi rounded the bed. “Shu? Shuichi,” he called softly. He laid a gentle hand on Shuichi's shaking shoulder. The stifled wails quieted. The white hospital sheet lowered just enough to show a crop of bright pink hair and vivid violet eyes shimmering with tears. Ryuichi smiled down at his baby Shu-Shu. “Shuichi.” Dr. Nakamura may have said there was nothing wrong with him, but it was not until right now that he felt a real sense of relief.

Shuichi threw back the covers and flung himself into Ryuichi's waiting arms. He hugged him tightly, sobbing into his shoulder.

Ryuichi smiled tenderly, rubbing lazy circles on Shuichi's back. “Shh,” he cooed. “It's alright. Everything's alright now.”

Shuichi pushed away from his brother and shook his head violently. “No,” he sobbed. “It's not!”

“Shuichi.”

Shuichi turned towards the newcomer's voice, sniffling and rubbing his tear-filled eyes. He hiccup-sobbed as he looked at Tatsuha.

The monk stepped forward, a smile on his face and hugged the boy. “How're you feeling?” he asked the boy softly, pulling back.

“How do you think?” Shuichi snapped angrily before he had time to think.

Tatsuha and Ryuichi blinked at the boy, their eyes wide in shock.

Realizing he said that out-loud, Shuichi snapped his mouth closed, his eyes growing wide, but they soon filled with tears. Shuichi's jaw started trembling. Fresh tears flowed down his face, traveling already well-worn paths. He dropped his face into his hands, sobbing. “Everything's not all right! It won't ever be okay! Eiri'll-!”

Taking that as his cue, Eiri stepped forward. “Eiri will what?”

Shuichi tensed, his sobs choked to a halt. Slowly, he lifted his head. His eyes widened as he caught sight of a very familiar blond haired, blond eyed man standing at the foot of his bed.

Ryuichi turned to follow his little brother's gaze and frowned when he saw Eiri. He opened his mouth to make a comment when a hand on his upper arm stopped him. He looked at its owner questioningly.

Tatsuha shook his head and pulled the older man aside.

Shuichi wiped at his face with the palm of his hand. Sniffing, he stared at his lover. He took a deep trembling breath and looked into Eiri's golden hazel eyes, but had to look away. Eiri’s gaze was too…It made him feel uncomfortable.

Eiri probably hated him and was just here to tell him it was over. His heart hurt just thinking about his love saying those words, “I just plain hate your guts. I'm sick of the sight of you.” Eiri would walk out of his life just as everyone else had. He would lose yet another person who meant so much to him. He hated the fact that he did not have many friends, that the ones he did have liked him for some reason other than friendship, that everyone in his family but Ryuichi despised him. He did not like that he was virtually alone, but he had gotten used to it. Then Eiri came into his life and everything changed. To think that the one stable thing present in his life was not going to be in it…It was something he did not want to think about.

“Shuichi,” came a gentle voice from besides him.

Shuichi shook his head. “Just say it,” he whispered softly through his tears. Sniffling, he sobbed softly. “Just get it over with.” He squeezed his eyes shut tight, waiting for the inevitable.

Eiri stared down at his lover in confusion. “Say what?”

Tatsuha and Ryuichi watched from the sidelines. Ryuichi wanted nothing more than to race over there and protect Shuichi, but something Shuichi said the other week echoed in his head.

_“Always there to defend me! Always beating up the people who made fun of me, or said things…”_

As much as it hurt him to say so, Tatsuha was right. It was time Shuichi began fighting his own battles.

“That you hate me,” Shuichi shouted.

Eiri was taken back. “Why would I hate you?”

Shuichi opened water logged eyes and stared at Eiri through tear blurred vision. Sniffling, he scrubbed at the tears, but it was futile. Destroying one only created two more in its place. “I know you know!” He took a deep breathe and stared into those wonderful golden eyes. “You know what I am! What's growing inside of me!”

Eiri stepped forward, a soft smile on his face. “I do.” He cupped the side of Shuichi's face. “You're the boy I saw in some bar I stumbled upon one day and fell immediately in love with. You are the boy I followed around like some love struck fan-girl. You're the boy I plan to spend the rest of my life with.”

Shuichi gaped at the older man in shock and surprise. His mind went blank.

“And growing inside of you is…my son.”

Shuichi, Tatsuha and Ryuichi were struck speechless. Shuichi opened his mouth to speak, but it was as if his brain had gone on holiday. He could not think of a single thing to say.

Eiri was not sure when he made that decision, but it felt…right. What he did know was that he loved Shuichi and wanted to be with him. The fact that Shuichi was a Neutral did not bother him. Yes, he was still a little angry that Shuichi had not told him, that he lied to him…

_“I'm just a freak, a mutation, a waste of flesh...”_

Those words echoed back into Eiri's head suddenly. He remembered speaking with Shuichi in the park that first night and Shuichi telling him how his father hated him because he was not what his father wanted. At the time, he brushed it off. He’d had other things on his mind at the time. Even if he had realized the truth at the time, he had certainly not been ready to hear it or deal with it.

He knew that the child growing and developing inside of his boyfriend was that bastard Aizawa's, but he loved Shuichi and this baby was apart of Shuichi. He was hated his whole life by various people for a variety of reasons and he was not going to do the same thing to this child. He was going to love this child as if it were his own because it was his own.

“E…Eiri. I…I…” Shuichi still did not know what to say. What was Eiri saying? This was too surreal.

Eiri reached up and brushed away a stray tear that tickled down the boy's face. “I guess I've known from the beginning, but…I just did not want to deal with it, but when it became something I couldn’t ignore anymore...I was…I was unsure of what to do.” He dropped his hand and stared at it clench into a fist on the edge of the bed. “So, I went to my father's place to meditate.”

Tatsuha's eyes widened in shock. Even Ryuichi was shocked. Eiri fled his father's house years before and not once set foot in that house since. The two of them were always at each other's throats. The Middle East had a much better chance at finding peace them the two of them.

Shuichi searched his lover's face.

“And there…I learned something.” Eiri lifted his gaze and stared blankly past Shuichi. “I grew up despising Neutrals,” he saw the hurt expression cloud his boyfriend's face out of the corner of his eye and his heart broke just a little bit, “because I was led to believe that my mother abandoned us soon after Tatsuha and I were born.”

Shuichi blinked, confused. “Eiri? What…?”

“My…mother was one.”

Shuichi’s eyes grew wide. “One…what?” he asked. He had to hear it from Eiri, just to make sure he did not jump to conclusions.

“Mother was a Neutral.”

Shuichi gasped.

“As it turns out that was just a load of crap engineered by my own family because they hated my mother, thought he was a freak, a mutation, a waste of flesh,” Eiri said bitterly. “He was an embarrassment so he had to be done away with!”

The world narrowed down to just Tatsuha and the words ringing in his ears. “Wha-what did you say?” he asked his brother breathlessly. “Is that…?”

Eiri glanced over his shoulder at his brother with sad eyes and nodded.

Tears poured down Shuichi's face.

The blond writer turned back towards his lover.

To Shuichi's surprise, he saw tears rolling silently down the man's face. He’d never seen Eiri cry. It was a little unnerving and at the same time humbling. It made Eiri seem human.

Eiri stepped forward until his legs bumped against the side of the bed. He cupped Shuichi's face with both of his hands. “My whole world turned upside down several times since last night. I cannot promise anything, Shuichi. I spent the first twenty-two years of my life distrusting and disliking Neutrals and things are not going to change overnight.”

Shuichi stared into his boyfriend’s eyes.

“But…I care about you more than anything,” he continued, staring into those incredible purple eyes. “And my feelings out weigh…”

Unable to suppress and hold himself back any longer, Shuichi did not even wait to hear the rest of what Eiri was going to say before flinging himself at the man he loved with all his heart. Eiri was taken by surprise. With wide eyes, he stumbled backwards, holding tightly onto the human koala that was latched onto him and hugging the life out of him. “Do you mean it, Eiri?” he cried softly. He pulled back just enough to be able to see his face. “What you just said? You…you don't care that I'm…that I'm…and that I'm going…” His voice faded. He lowered his head, blushing.

“Of course I do, idiot,” Eiri whispered back.

“I love you, Eiri,” Shuichi cried, more tears pouring down his face.

A smile lit Eiri's face. He hugged his partner back. I love you, too, he thought.

Tatsuha could not stop himself from smiling. He wrapped his arm around Ryuichi's shoulder and held him at his side. He studied his brother and Shuichi. Both were beaming and glowing. He had never seen his brother happier.

When he heard Ryuichi growl, Tatsuha squeezed his arm, a silent warning to the older singer.

 

* * *

 

“Now, Mr. Shindou,” Dr. Nakamura was saying half an hour later, “I want you to remember to make an appointment with an OB/GYN, all right?”

A bright blush coloring his cheeks, Shuichi nodded.

“And I want you to take it easy today alright? Rest and get something to eat.”

His blush deepening, Shuichi nodded again.

“Alright. Take it easy.”

“Thank you.”

“Thank you doctor.”

Dr. Nakamura inclined her head to the other three men before turning towards a passing nurse. The two of them vanished down the hallway.

“Let's get going, Shuichi,” Ryuichi told pink haired singer.

Shuichi's head snapped up. He stared at his older half brother with wide eyes. “B-but I…,” he protested.

Tatsuha laid a hand on Ryuichi's forearm and said, “Go.”

“Tatsuha,” Ryuichi gasped, turning towards his boyfriend.

Tatsuha shook his head warningly.

Shuichi cried happily and leapt at his brother-in-law. “Thank you, Tatsu!” Grinning like a madman, Shuichi hopped around and jumped over towards his boyfriend. Latching onto the writers arm, he allowed the man to steer them out of the hospital.

Ryuichi was fuming! “Tatsuha Uesugi! What-?”

“Not here, Ryu.” Tatsuha laced their hands together and walked out of the emergency room. “Come on,” he told his boyfriend. “Let's get a cab and get back to the clinic.”

“Why?”

“My car's parked around the corner from it.”

Ryuichi stood, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched Tatsuha hail a taxi. “What the hell is going on?”

“We're going to go see your folks.”

Ryuichi blinked, Tatsuha's statement draining all his anger away, leaving him puzzled. “What? Why?”

“It's time we had a little chat with them.”

 

* * *

 

Sitting at his desk, listening intently to what his two guests were relaying to him with a blank expression on his face, Tohma seemed to glow red in the setting sun that streamed in through the window behind him. The leather squeaked as Tohma sat back in his chair. He looked from one man to the other. “Are you sure?” he asked once they were finished.

Ryuichi nodded. “Yes.”

“It's a big responsibility, Ryu.”

“I know, but this's something I want to do…It’s something I should’ve done a long time ago.”

Tatsuha gave Ryuichi's hand a gently but firm squeeze. “It's something we want to do,” he corrected.

Ryuichi smiled at him, his eyes sparkling with gratitude and appreciation.

Tohma regarded both men silently for several long seconds. Both Ryuichi and Tatsuha fought against the overwhelming urge to squirm under his intense stare. Finally, Tohma leaned forward. “You're both set on this?”

Tatsuha and Ryuichi nodded curtly. “Yes,” they said together.

“All right,” the president said, sitting back. “I'll get the necessary paperwork started.”

Ryuichi grinned at his long time friend. “Thanks Tohma!”

Tatsuha nodded at his brother-in-law. “Thank you.”

Tohma inclined his head. He has known Shuichi since he was born and he loved the pink-headed teen. He was like his little brother and Tohma would do anything for him, but when Nittle Grasper started to take off, he had not had as much time to devote to the boy. From what Tatsuha and Ryuichi told him about how the kid's life has been it was clear it had been a huge mistake on his part to let his career take all of his time. Starting right now, he would make up for that. “Now, all you have to do is convince your parents to sign over custody.”

Tatsuha snorted as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I don't think we have much to worry about.”

Ryuichi's smile slipped as he thought about everything Shuichi had to endure not only in the short sixteen years of his young life, but also just in the last week and a half.

Pushing away from the desk, Tohma stood up, signaling an end to the meeting.

Tatsuha and Ryuichi both stood in unison.

“Thank you, Tohma, for everything you're doing.”

Tohma's face warmed with a genuine smile. “Of course, Ryu.”

Tatsuha inclined his head and repeated his thanks. As both men turned to leave, Tohma called after them, “Tell Shuichi he has the next few days off to recuperate, but to expect to work twice as hard to make up for all this lost time once he returns.”

Ryuichi snickered and Tatsuha snorted. Tohma would always be Tohma. Telling the young president they would pass on the message, they left.

 

* * *

 

Tohma sat hunched over his desk, his chin resting on his laced hands. His eyes were hard and determined. Snapping out of his retrieve, he buzzed his secretary.

“Yes, Mr. Seguchi,” came the polite voice over the line.

“Get Mr. Saga on the line.”

“Yes Sir.”

“Then call my wife and tell her I’ll be late getting home.”

“Certainly Sir.”

Tohma sat back in the chair and rested his two index fingers against his lips.

 

* * *

 

“Okay, thanks,” Eiri spoke into the receiver.

Without saying goodbye, he hung up the phone on his brother and headed down the hall towards the living room where Shuichi was watching television. Or had been. Eiri blinked at the empty couch. The television was off and the remote was sitting precariously on the farthest edge of the table. It appeared as if it had been tossed hastily. He glanced around the room and spied Shuichi sitting in front of the patio doors, the setting sun beating down on him. He was hunched over something in his lap and furiously scribbling away.

Eiri watched in rabid fascination as his young lover suddenly stopped whatever it was that he was writing and tilted his head back, eyes closed and hummed, tapping his pencil against what he could clearly see now was a notebook. Silence reigned once again as Shuichi stopped humming and continued writing, a look of absolute concentration on his face.

God he is cute, Eiri thought as he watched the boy bite his lip.

Smirking, Eiri went back into the kitchen to finish working on dinner.

 

* * *

 

Eiri set the final dish on the table and walked to the kitchen doorway.

“Shuichi! Dinner!”

He hoped Shuichi was finished with whatever he was working on. There is nothing worse than being interrupted when inspiration hit. Any kind of disruption could spell disaster.

He went to the fridge to grab a beer for himself and juice for Shuichi. He set the cold can in front of his plate and poured the juice in a tall glass for his young lover. He knew Shuichi preferred soda pop, but starting right now the kid was going to be on a strict diet. Eiri returned the juice to the fridge and was about to take his seat when he realized he had forgotten the chopsticks. He opened a drawer behind him and as he reached in, he heard the sound of shuffling feet behind him. Setting the chopsticks besides the plates, he sat down and watched as Shuichi entered the kitchen with a worried look on his face. Shuichi sat down at the table, biting his lip.

“What’re you working on?” Eiri asked curiously, as he dumped some rice onto his plate.

Shuichi blinked, snapping out of his retrieve and glanced across the table at Eiri. The plate of steamed vegetables stilled in his hands. “Huh?”

Eiri rolled his eyes and sighed as he put some noodles on his plate. “What--were--you--working--on.”

“Oh!” Shuichi's face brightened and a huge smile split his face in two. He set the vegetables aside and took the plate of noodles from Eiri. “I was watching this anime,” he explained as he dumped some noodles onto his plate then set the dish aside. He picked up the rice and used his chopsticks to sweep a large amount onto his plate. “It's 'bout these two guys who meet in the park and fall in love.” He set the rice dish aside and shoved some noodles into his mouth. “And I suddenly-”

Eiri grimaced. “Don't talk with your mouth full,” he ordered using his chopsticks to sweep some rice into his mouth.

Shuichi finished chewing the noodles and swallowed. “Sorry.” He took a sip of the juice. “Anyway, I was watching this anime, I forgot what it was called, and I suddenly got hit by an idea for a song.”

Eiri took a sip of his beer. “I thought your debut album was going to be a collection of all your old stuff.”

Shuichi nodded as he shoved some rice into his mouth. He chewed the food and waited until he swallowed it before speaking. “We are, but that doesn't mean I stop writing.”

“Hn. Were you having trouble with it?”

Shuichi shook his head. “Nuh uh,” he mumbled around a mouth full of vegetables.

Eiri waited for the kid to clarify that, but got only silence. “Okay,” he prodded, “so what were you thinking about so intently when you came into the kitchen?” He stuffed some beans into his mouth and washed down the greens with a gulp of beer.

Shuichi swallowed the food in his mouth. Without lifting his head, he played with the food on his plate, swirling the noodles around with his chopsticks and mumbled something.

Eiri choked on the bean/beer stew in his mouth. He covered his mouth with his hand, as he started coughing. Banging his chest with his fist, he swallowed the mixture painfully. His eyes were watering. Still coughing, he reached for his beer and took another sip. Clearing his throat, he glared at the boy. “What?” he demanded angrily. He better have heard him wrong.

Shuichi snapped his head up and glared defiantly at Eiri. “I was thinking about Taki.”

Eiri clenched his beer can. Growling, he gritted his teeth. The silence of the kitchen was shattered by the unnaturally loud crinkling of the beer can under the pressure of the romance author’s grip. “Why the fuck were you thinking about that asshole?” he asked evenly. He had to fight the urge to reach across the table and smack that brainless idiot upside the head.

Under his lover's intense, angry glare, the boldness he felt earlier withered and died. Shuichi cowered away from Eiri as far as he could without having to leave the table. He dropped his head and fiddled with his hands in his lap. Tears blurred his vision and his chest tightened as he fought the urge to cry. He bit his lip to keep it from trembling.

Eiri sighed and rolled his eyes. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he said softly and calmly as he tried to curtail his anger, “After what that asshole did to you-“

The defiance was back. Shuichi lifted his head and stuck his chin in the air. His mouth was set in a grim line as he glared at Eiri. “I know what he did,” he snapped angrily, though his voice quavered slightly. He sucked in a shaky breath. “Better than you do,” he added. Shuichi's jaw trembled and tears filled his eyes again. Tears rolled down Shuichi's face. He sniffled. “But I just want to know…if he's…”

“Who the hell cares,” Eiri snapped. “Taki Aizawa is a fucking asshole! After everything he's done to you he deserves to-“

Shuichi shook his head violently. Tears free flowed down his face. He took a deep breathe, sobbing. “I know, but I don't…I mean, he's…”

Eiri sighed once again. It seemed as if he has been doing that a lot since he met the kid.

Shuichi was the kind of person who would not wish anything even on his worst enemy, no matter what the person may have done. Shuichi was the sweetest, kindest person Eiri had ever known. In his mind, despite everything Taki did to him, the man did not deserve to be killed. On top of that, Taki was the father of his unborn child; well, biological father anyway.

“Fine,” Eiri sighed. “I'll call the hospital later.”

Like the sun breaking through the clouds after a torrential storm, Shuichi smiled brightly. His eyes softened and his tears dried. He clasped his hands in his lap and bounced in his seat. “Really, Eiri?”

Eiri could not stop a small smirk from flashing across his face. “Yes, now, finish eating.”

The two of them finished eating in silence, enjoying one another's company.

When he finished eating, Eiri leaned back in his chair, pulled out a cigarette, and lit it. Inhaling deeply, he exhaled a long thin stream of smoke and watched in rabid fascination as Shuichi all but inhaled his dinner. He raised an eyebrow as Shuichi piled on more food as soon as he could see the bottom of his plate. Where in the world does he put it all, he thought shaking his head.

Once his plate was clean, Shuichi stood up and gathered the dishes, including Eiri's, and put them in the sink. He placed the stopper in the drain, squeezed out some dish soap and let the sink fill with hot water. Eiri watched in amusement as Shuichi then grabbed some empty plastic containers from a bottom cupboard and began putting the leftover food away. Once the last of the containers was put in the fridge, he shut the faucet off so that the water did not overflow and began washing the dishes.

Eiri leaned back in the chair and inhaled deeply on his cigarette. He is such a good wife, he thought jokingly. “Oh, before I forget,” Eiri said, breaking the silence after several minutes.

“Hm.”

“Tatsuha called earlier.”

“Why?” Shuichi asked, not turning around. He was hoping his brother-in-law had not changed his mind and wanted him to come home.

“He said Seguchi gave you the next couple of days off.”

The dishes forgotten, Shuichi went tense. His eyes grew wide. “He, he, Tohma…Does he…?”

“Yes, he knows,” Eiri finished. He tossed his cigarette butt into his beer can.

“What?!” Shuichi gripped the edge of the sink until his knuckles turned white.

Eiri shook his head as he stood up. He stood behind his lover and wrapped his arms around his tiny waist. He leaned his chin on the boy's bony shoulder. He closed his eyes and breathed in Shuichi's sweet strawberry scent. “Don't worry. He won't say anything.”

“H-how can you-?”

“You've known Seguchi for almost as long as I have.”

“Well, yeah, but…”

“Then you should know he won't say anything, especially if it'll come back to bit him on the ass.”

Shuichi thought about that and realized Eiri had a point.

Smiling, Shuichi sighed and leaned into the warmth of his lover's arms. He turned his head, buried his nose in Eiri's shirt and breathed deeply. Eiri had a spicy, piney scent buried underneath the scent of stale cigarette. He would have to get Eiri to either quit all together or cut back on smoking now that they were going to have a baby.

Shuichi wrapped his arms around his lover’s arms and sighed, snuggling back into the hardness of Eiri's chest. The writer tightened his hold and nibbled on Shuichi's neck. Shuichi sighed and tilted his head to the side, which allowed Eiri greater access. One of Eiri's hands trailed down the front of the boy to cup him. He heard Shuichi's sharp indrawn breathe. The boy moaned and thrust his hips into the touch. Eiri squeezed him, drawing out a loud, long cry from his lover. He bit the side of Shuichi's neck. The boy gave a sharp yelp in response. Chuckling, Eiri licked and planted a kiss on the bite. He examined his handiwork, smirking in self-satisfaction at the red wound. An overwhelming sense of possessiveness washed over him.

“Leave the dishes for later,” Eiri whispered huskily in Shuichi's ear.

Shuichi drew in a shuddered breath. Turning around in Eiri's arms, Shuichi draped his arms around Eiri's neck, fingering the ends of his golden locks and stared deeply into his golden hazel eyes.

Eiri tightened his hold on his young lover. He stared deeply into Shuichi's exotic purple eyes, his hands dangling around the small, tight, round globes of the boy's ass. Unable to restrain himself, he gave into temptation and squeezed Shuichi's butt, which essentially pulled Shuichi tightly up against him. Their hardening cocks rubbed together. Shuichi tossed his head back and gave a throaty cry as a jolt of pleasure raced down his spine.

Eiri dipped his head and placed a chaste kiss on Shuichi's lips. Pulling back, he glanced into Shuichi's eyes and caught his breathe.

God, he loved this boy!

Unable to contain himself any longer, he captured Shuichi's lips. The hand around the boy’s waist reached up and gripped the back of Shuichi's neck while the other one splayed against the boy's behind, holding his tiny, lithe body against his. Even through the thick fabric of their jeans, he could feel the hard bulge constricted inside the tight confines of Shuichi's boxers pushing against his own hardened one. The feeling brought a groan deep in his throat and a breathy moan from his young lover.

He suckled, bit, nibbled and licked, taking possession of Shuichi's mouth. Shuichi moaned and leapt up, wrapping his legs around Eiri's waist, throwing the writer off balance. Eiri returned his hands to Shuichi’s ass while Shuichi ground himself against the hard protuberance poking into him. He ripped his mouth from Eiri and tossed his head back, hissing and crying out as another jolt of pleasure raced through him.

“Oh, God,” he cried. “Eiri!” Panting, he gazed into his lover's eyes.

God, Shuichi was so sexy! He was flushed and hard with excitement. His eyes shinned with unbridled lust. Saliva dribbled down his chin. Eiri felt himself growing harder and hotter just watching his little lover. As Shuichi's pink tongue poked out of his mouth and ran along his full-just-kissed lips, Eiri had to restrain himself from coming right then.

Growling, Eiri ate greedily at his teenaged lover's mouth as he walked them out of the kitchen and down the hall towards the bedroom. Shuichi moaned into Eiri's mouth as Eiri pulled on his lower lip. The vibrations sent tiny jolts of pleasure through Eiri's body.

Eiri shut the door behind him with his foot and heard the soft click as he walked them both towards the bed, not once pausing in his ravishing of his lover's mouth. Crawling across the mattress on his knees, he fell forward unceremoniously, with Shuichi still latched onto him.

The breath was knocked out of Shuichi as Eiri collapsed on top of him. He giggled, a smile splitting his face. He set his feet on the bed, his arms wrapped loosely around Eiri's neck. “I love you, Eiri,” Shuichi whispered, searching the older man's face.

A gentle smile warmed Eiri's face. “I know,” he whispered, pecking him on the lips.

The kiss slowly deepened and filled with all the love and passion the lovers felt for one another, but managed to stay gentle. Shuichi parted his lips just as he opened his legs for his one true love time and again. As Eiri slipped his tongue into Shuichi's mouth, their tongues dancing and caressing each other's, one hand trailed down the front of the boy's shirt and popped open the buttons. He spread open Shuichi's shirt and ran his hand over the kid's bare chest, across the sensitive hardened buds of his nipples. Shuichi ripped his mouth away from Eiri's and tossed his head back with a loud moan. Eiri's hand tailed lower and hit something hard and round. Curious, Eiri sat back and glanced down. His eyes widened in surprise at what he was holding in his hand.

Confused, violet eyes fluttered open. Shuichi blinked, trying to focus both his mind and his eyes. “Eiri? What…?”

Eiri looked from the ring to his boyfriend. “You kept it,” he whispered in shock.

Shuichi blinked, confused. “Huh? Kept what?”

“My ring.”

Shuichi dropped his chin to his chest and tried to see what Eiri was talking about. There, around his neck, was the band Eiri left on the pillow that first night. He blushed deeply. “Of course. You gave it to me. It was a present from my Eiri.”

Eiri's heart swelled. He kissed Shuichi deeply. Shuichi moaned and wrapped his arms around Eiri's neck. Eiri kissed along his jaw and down his neck. Shuichi hummed as Eiri kissed and licked his way down his chest. His tongue lapped at Shuichi's nipples.

“Please,” Shuichi huffed out before Eiri bit down. The teenaged singer laced his fingers through Eiri's hair and gasping, tossed his head back. He cried out as Eiri pulled at his nipple with his teeth. There was pain, but the pain was not hurtful. The pain felt good. It was addicting, just as having Eiri's huge cock inside of him was. “I want you! God, I want you! Please! Put your dick inside of me! Please!” His face grew warm as he cried out his demands.

A grin tilted the corner of Eiri's lips. Shuichi was so cute when he blushed.

Standing up on his knees, Eiri undid the top few buttons of his shirt and then lifted it over his head without bothering to undo the rest. He tossed the shirt over his shoulder, not caring what happened to it. He dropped back onto his hands and knees and kissed Shuichi deeply, plundering his mouth as if he would crawl inside. Meanwhile, his hands trailed lightly down Shuichi's body to his jeans. He snapped them open with practiced ease. Sitting up, a trail of saliva linking them, Eiri hooked his fingers around the hem of the boy's jeans and boxers and pulled them down in one swift yank. He threw them to the floor.

Eiri's breath hitched as gazed down at the boy. Shuichi was incredibly beautiful. His member was engorged and standing at attention, saluting him in all its fine glory from between tuffs of black hair. His lithe toned body was slick and shinned with sweat. His chest rose and fell rapidly. The side of his neck was red from where he had been marked.

Shuichi, as he was being studied by his partner, examined Eiri in turn. The man was gorgeous beyond words. He was not muscular and did not have a body builder's frame, but his toned muscles were accentuated by the sweat that slicked across his body.

He sat up and reached for the button of Eiri's jeans. He slipped the button out of the hole and yanked down the zipper, having a difficult time because of how tight the front of his lover’s pants were. Raising his eyes, violet eyes locked with golden hazel ones. He watched Eiri through passion filled eyes as he reached inside his jeans and grabbed Eiri's hard length.

Eiri grabbed fistfuls of his young lover's dark pink hair and moaned deeply.

Shuichi squeezed Eiri. He heard the writer suck in a breath. Shuichi found he liked hearing Eiri make noises, especially if he was the one causing his lover to make said noises. He stroked Eiri's cock, still watching him. If possible, Shuichi found himself getting even harder as he watched his lover's eyes glaze over and roll back. He started panting as an expression of eroticism cross Eiri's face. Freeing Eiri's cock from the confining restriction of his jeans, Shuichi ran his thumb over the head, dipping his finger into the pre-come. Making sure Eiri was watching him; Shuichi raised his finger to his lips and licked the milky coating off seductively.

Growling, Eiri grabbed Shuichi hands, lacing their fingers together and dropped them both back to the bed. He mauled his young lover's mouth without mercy. Shuichi moaned into Eiri's mouth. Eiri situated himself between his boyfriend's legs and moved Shuichi's hands above his head, holding them captive with one hand while the other one reached out blindly for the nightstand. He opened the drawer and searched for the only contents within it, a tube of lubrication gel. Once his hands closed around the tube, he flipped open the cap and squeezed out a sizeable amount onto his fingers, all without releasing his prisoner.

Eiri circled the boy's entrance with his slickened fingers, eliciting more moans from his little lover. Shuichi hissed in pain and tensed, his insides clamping down automatically as Eiri slipped his finger inside. He squirmed at how uncomfortable it felt. Eiri waited patiently. Finally, Shuichi's body relaxed. To get Shuichi's mind off the pain and discomfort, Eiri licked the underside of the boy's cock, twirling his tongue around the head. At the same time, the first mate joined its captain to help widen the narrow passage. Eiri jabbed his fingers deep inside and found that one sweet spot.

Stars exploded behind Shuichi's eyes. He gasped and arched his back off the bed. He threw his head back and cried out. It was all too much for the boy. Eiri felt Shuichi’s body tense moments before he gave a sharp cry and had his first orgasm of the night. His seed leaked all over his stomach.

Shuichi fell back against the bed, lax and panting heavily. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, trying to slow his racing heart. He licked dry lips and pried open an eye. Eiri was kneeling before him and was gazing down at him with lust-filled eyes. Shuichi’s eyes traveled down his boyfriend's lean, hard body. His breath hitched and he found himself growing hard as he watched Eiri stroke himself. He was obviously slicking his length with the lube, but it was so erotic! Shuichi licked his lips and squirmed. God this man was delicious!

Eiri smirked as he watched Shuichi. When Shuichi reached out to touch him, Eiri shied away and shook his head. He chuckled when the boy pouted. Recapping the tube, he tossed the lube over his shoulder.

Lifting Shuichi's legs, he placed them over his shoulders and grabbed the boy's hips. He stared into his lover's eyes as he grabbed himself and placed the head of his cock at the boy's entrance. Shuichi's violet eyes stared up at him in anticipation and desire.

“Ready?” Eiri's golden eyes asked.

Shuichi nodded. He held his breath. He hissed and tensed slightly as Eiri slipped the head of his penis inside him. He grabbed fistfuls of the bed sheets and breathed deeply, trying to relax himself against the large intruder forcing itself in past the tight ring of muscles. Eiri grabbed Shuichi's penis and squeezed it, running his thumb along the underside and across the head where pre-come was dripping out. Shuichi cried out. Eiri took the opportunity and pushed himself inside until his balls hit Shuichi's ass.

His eyes growing wide, Shuichi did the only thing he could do. He clutched the sheets with white knuckles and cried out. He clamped down on the large invader inside him.

Eiri sucked in a deep breathe. Panting heavily, he paused and glanced down at his lover in concern. “Shu?”

Taking a deep breath, Shuichi forced himself to relax. Panting, he opened eyes he did not realize he shut and glanced through heavy lidded eyes at Eiri. He adjusted himself and nodded.

Taking the boy at his word, Eiri pulled out until just the head remained, then slowly, he pushed himself back in. Shuichi arched off the bed and cried out. Licking his lips at the erotic sight, Eiri moved Shuichi's legs from his shoulders to his waist and lacing their fingers together, laid between his lover's legs and began a slow rhythm. He used his toes as leverage to press himself inside his lover's tight passage and eased back out.

Shuichi gasped as Eiri pulled out and cried out as he thrust back in. It was the most incredible feeling. The sensation of feeling Eiri moving in and out was something no words could describe. It was addicting, a craving that never went away.

“Nah, uh...Ah...Oh!”

Eiri loved to hear his lover's cries of passion. It turned him on. His slow pace picked up speed. Above his own panting, he could hear Shuichi's mantra.

“Um…Oh, God, Eiri…Nah!”

Eiri soon found himself lost in the hypnotic rhythm of being with the one he loved that when he felt Shuichi clamp down around him, it took him by complete surprise. Shuichi's fingers convulsed around his as his orgasm ripped through him. The singer arched off the bed, his head flung back and his eyes rolled back. He gave a scream loud enough for the entire building to hear. The pressure around Eiri's cock ripped his own orgasm from him. He arched his back and flung his head back, grunting as he released his seed deeply inside of Shuichi.

Panting and his limbs shaking, he pulled out of Shuichi and collapsed onto his back besides him.

Not caring about the mess they made during their lovemaking, Shuichi curled up around his lover. Wrapping his arms around Eiri's waist, he entwined his legs around Eiri’s. Shuichi squeezed Eiri and planted a kiss on his chest. Sighing contently, Shuichi closed his eyes and snuggled against him as he waited for his heart rate to return to normal. God! How he loved this man; this man who decided to take responsibility for another man's child, who decided that his love was deeper than his fears and his prejudices. Shuichi's forehead furrowed in thought. Frowning, Shuichi opened his eyes and stared across the now dark room. But why? “Hey, Eiri?”

“Hn.”

He sounded half-asleep, but Shuichi really had to know. “Why?”

Eiri pried open an eye with much difficulty and glanced down at Shuichi. “Why what?”

“Why…?” Shuichi played with the blond strands of hair that circled Eiri's nipples. “Why,” he tried again, licking his lips, “are you doing this?”

Eiri raised an eyebrow. “This what?”

“At the diner you said that guy was a…freak.” Shuichi’s voice shook as he remembered the disgust that had crossed his partner's face. “And now…now here you are making love to--to one of those…freaks.” Tears slipped down his face. “A freak that's carrying another man's child!” He pushed himself up on his elbow and stared down at Eiri through tear-blurred vision. His jaw trembled as he spoke. “So why?”

Eiri felt his heart breaking at the tears that rolled down his lover's face. Smiling tenderly, he reached out and cupped the side of Shuichi's face. He brushed away his tears with his thumb. “I could ask you the same thing,” he answered truthfully.

Shuichi sniffled and blinked in confusion. “Huh?”

“How could you love someone who grew up hating Neutrals? How could you trust that I won't decide to just up and leave you one day? How can you fall in love with a man without once second-guessing it? You act as if it's the most natural thing in the world!”

Shuichi giggled and used the heel of his hand to scrub away the rest of his tears. “That's because it is!”

Now it was Eiri's turn to be confused.

Shuichi giggled at the clueless expression on Eiri's face. He lay back down and wrapped himself tightly around Eiri's waist.

“I was never in a relationship before,” Shuichi confessed. “And being with Kizou and Taki doesn't count,” he added quickly. “I never…I've never been--in love.” He blushed at this admission. “I never even knew what it meant to love someone other than my brother, ya know? So, I…” He sighed and shrugged. “I don't know if I can explain this so that it makes sense. I guess…I just don't think that way. You fall in love with whoever you fall in love with and if that person happens to be someone of the same sex or someone of the opposite sex…” He shrugged. “Whatever happens happens.” He tilted his head back and glanced at Eiri. “Does that make sense?”

Eiri smirked and kissed the top of his head. “Yeah. Yeah, it does.”

Eiri sighed and stared up at the ceiling, deep in thought. How can he have made a complete one-eighty virtually over night? That was the question. The truth was he hadn’t. The fear was still there. Like he told Shuichi earlier, it was not going to be an easy process or something that happened with a snap of his fingers, but how could he go from hating a Neutral to making love to one, especially one that was carrying another man's child? That was easy. “I can because love does crazy things to people,” he whispered. “It can make them do and say things they would never normally do or say.”

“Hm,” Shuichi smiled, cuddling closer to the warmth of Eiri's body. Then what Eiri said hit him like a ton of bricks. His eyes snapped open and he flew up in bed. “Wha-what?”

Eiri smiled, his eyes shinning. He cupped Shuichi's stunned face and lowered his head until their breaths mingled. He opened his mouth, but shut it when he could get nothing to come out. He licked his lips and tried again. “Iloveyou,” he rushed out. He gave a sighed long and deep. That had been harder to say than he thought possible.

Shuichi's eyes grew wide and filled with tears. With a cry, he flung himself at his lover and hugged him tightly. “I love you, too, Eiri.”

Eiri hugged Shuichi back, getting all choked up. I won't ever let you go, he thought. Never.

 

* * *

 

Tatsuha sat on the armchair watching he lover face off with his mother and stepfather. Both father and son had an identical angry scowl on their face. Mrs. Shindou had tears streaming down her face. Her eyes wavered and were filled with so much sadness and sorrow. She held a hand over a trembling mouth. A well of pity and sadness filled him as he watched the woman.

“He's your son,” Ryuichi hissed through clenched teeth. His hands were fisted into tight balls of fury at his sides. His eyes were hard. His body was tight and tense. He was wound so tightly that one wrong move or word from his stepfather and he would snap. “How could you treat him like that?”

“Easily, because he's not my son. I don't have a son. I have a beautiful daughter who's going to graduate head of her class.”

Ryuichi growled. Anger and hatred like he never felt before filled him. How could he say something like that?

Tatsuha stood up from the chair slowly, gritting his teeth in fury. “He came to you for help and what do you do? You throw him out! What kind of father are you? Parents are supposed to love their children no matter what or who they are!”

Mr. Shindou's head snapped around. Tatsuha saw a flash of something in his eyes before it vanished behind an annoyed stare.

“Fine,” Ryuichi spit. All eyes turned towards him. “If that's how you feel then you won't have any problems giving up your rights as his parents back to me and Tatsuha.”

Mrs. Shindou gave a sharp cry. Her eyes widened in shock. She stared at her son then her husband.

“Seeing as he's _not_ your son.”

Tatsuha saw that flash of something race across Mr. Shindou's face once again, but before he could decipher what it was, the man's face-hardened.

“Fine. Do what you will.”

Ryuichi blinked, taken back, as Mrs. Shindou gave a loud wail. He had not expected his stepfather to cave in so easily. He knew the man despised Shuichi, but still…

Ryuichi’s face-hardened. He glared at his stepfather in disappointment and anger. “You'll be hearing from Tohma Seguchi within the next few days.” He glanced over his shoulder at his boyfriend. “Let's go, Tatsuha.” The singer turned back towards his parents. “Goodbye,” he said curtly, inclining his head in a brisk nod before stalking out of the house.

Tatsuha followed the man. He felt strangely more sad than angry.

He paused. Standing on the threshold between the foyer and the living room and staring unseeingly at his feet with his hand gripping the wall, Tatsuha slowly turned to look over his shoulder at Mr. Shindou. Glaring at the man, he whispered heatedly, “I hope you enjoy having an only child.”

He turned and stormed out of the house, hearing the loud wailing of Mrs. Shindou.

 

**…To Be Continued…**


	8. Listen to Your Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inserts: “Web of Night” by TM Revolution (English Version); flashbacks to chapter 1, Alfred, Lord Tennyson, “In Memoriam AHH”

* * *

 

**Chapter 8: Listen To Your Heart**

Without the usual daytime chaos, the hospital seemed eerily empty. The only sound came from the soft-soled sneakers squeaking against the laminate floors as the staff went about their duties. Janitors in grey overalls pushed buckets down the empty halls with mops as they took advantage of the downtime to clean and sterilize the hospital.

It was well after midnight and the hospital was as silent as a tomb, but the serene silence was shattered quite unexpectedly as an alarm went off in the ICU ward. The nurses in their brightly colored uniforms and doctors in their white lab coats immediately jumped into action. They knew exactly what to do thanks to their training. Dr. Burry, a physician visiting Japan from England on a cultural exchange, happened to be at the nurse's station updating one of his patient charts. When the bell sounded, he cursed sharply and raced down the hall. He was vaguely aware of a female voice over the intercom.

The door to an ICU room was flung open and a stampede of men and women flew into the room. There, the beeping was the loudest. Shouts, various orders and a cacophony of noise filtered through the once silent hospital corridors.

The patient lying prone in the hospital bed looked like he was taking part in a reenactment of the Egyptian mummification process with all the bandages encasing him. It was either that or part of some scientific experiment in a futuristic sci-fi movie with all the tubes and wires that were stuck to him. He was surrounded by machines of every shape and size that monitored every aspect of his health. They all shouted that things were going down hill and fast.

The covers were flung back by someone, but in all the commotion, it was not clear who was responsible, but it was not important. CPR was started. When the crash cart with the defibrillator finally arrived, clear gel was spread onto the paddles before they were pressed against the young man's chest.

“Clear!”

Everybody stepped back. A button was pressed and the bandaged body jumped off the bed. This was tried repeatedly, each time the voltage upped, but try as they might, soon it became evident that their tries were futile.

The noise ceased and silence once again reigned supreme in the hospital. The only sound was a loud steady beep.

“Call,” said Dr. Burry, glancing down at his watch.

A heavy feeling of disappointment and frustration weighed heavily upon the occupants of the room. At ten after one in the morning, one Takanori “Taki” Aizawa was pronounced dead. The machines were shut off and the sheet was laid over the now deceased patient.

 

* * *

 

In the distance, it was just beginning to grow lighter with the approaching dawn. It had been a cool night with a gentle warm breeze, but with the approaching daybreak, the wind died and the heat started to warm the land. It was going to be another scorcher. It was a good thing he replaced his air conditioner.

Eiri sat on the stone railing that enclosed the porch and leaned against the side of the apartment building, one leg bent before him and the other hanging straight at his side. Tipping his head back, he placed his cigarette between his lips, inhaled deeply and then tossed the butt on the cement block, crushing it under his foot and exhaled a thin stream of smoke into the air.

He vaulted when he heard the sudden sharp shrill of the phone. He left the patio doors open to let what little breeze there was circulate through the apartment and so he could hear Shuichi in case the kid woke up as he walked back into the house and grabbed the nearest phone extension. Automatically, his gaze sought out the clock in the corner. Red glowing numbers told him it was a little after five in the morning. Whoever thought it was funny to call so early was a dead man. “Hello?” he asked irately.

“Uh,” stuttered the male voice over the line.

Eiri sighed heavily. It was way too early for this crap.

“Uhm, is this the Uesugi residence?”

Eiri glared through squinted eyes, fuming with impatience. “It depends,” he snapped. Fuck etiquette. At five o'clock in the goddamn morning, he was not in the mood to deal with morons who could not tell their ass from a hole in the ground.

“Uh,” stuttered the man.

Eiri heard him gulp. He was beginning to get a headache. “Was there a point to this phone call, other than annoying the hell out of me? Or do you just get a kick out of waking people up at five in the morning?” he snapped harshly.

“Uh, well...I was…Is Shuichi there?” the unknown caller asked quietly. His voice sounded thick and nasally. Eiri wondered about that. “I called his cellphone and his brother told me he was with you.”

Eiri growled. Why would that idiot do something stupid like that? “He's asleep,” he snapped. “What do you want?”

The man cleared his throat. “My name is Ma. I'm a friend of Shuichi's.”

Eiri raised a suspicious eyebrow at that. He could not remember Shuichi ever mentioning this Ma guy. A surge of jealousy washed over him. How did this Shuichi know this guy? Was he a friend or a “friend”? “And…?” His voice betrayed his suspicion and malice.

Ma cleared his throat, though his voice was tight and strained as he said, “I got a phone call from Mrs. Aizawa not too long ago.”

Eiri cocked an eyebrow. “And I should care because...?”

“I thought…I thought he'd like to know that…” Ma’s voice choked to a halt before Eiri could hear a shuddering breath. “Tell Shu that Taki…”

“What about that asshole?” Eiri bit.

Once again, there was a sound as if Ma had cleared his throat before he was able to say, “He passed away earlier this morning.”

Eiri blinked stupidly as his mind drew a blank. Passed away? As in dead? Gone? A grin slowly crossed his face. That meant Taki had not been killed instantly like he first thought, but what did that matter right now? He would be first in line to thank the Grim Reaper or _Shinigami_ , or whatever it was that helped a soul crossover. Now that bastard was finally out of their hair for good. If Taki had survived then that would have been a cause for alarm, especially with him being the father of Shuichi's baby--unless there was something Shuichi had neglected to tell him.

His grin vanished as quickly as it appeared as he thought about his lover sleeping soundly down the hall. He mumbled something that sounded almost like “thank you” before hanging up. He stared down the dark hallway, deep in thought. He could care less what happens to that evil bastard, but Shuichi was another story. Just how was he supposed to tell him about Aizawa?

 

* * *

 

**A Week Later**

**Just like the summer you never hesitate**   
**I’m drawn to you like a moth to a flame**   
**A new horizon before our eyes**   
**Whatever may cause our path, I’ll keep this love alive**   
**I’m falling back into the web of night**

The song blared over the car speakers. The bass thundered through the car, vibrating the frame dangerously. Eiri gripped the wheel tightly. His knuckles turned white under the pressure. He gritted his teeth in irritation. His head was pounding in time with the song. Not caring if he got a ticket, the writer sped up. The faster he got them home, the sooner he could turn this damn noise off!

Shuichi, oblivious to his boyfriend's pain, bopped his head and tapped his finger against the car door in time with the beat.

“And that was ‘Web of Night’,” the DJ was saying over the ending of the song.

Shuichi smiled happily and flicked the radio off. He settled back into the seat with a content sigh.

“Thank God,” Eiri muttered as he turned down the street to his apartment.

“What?” Shuichi turned towards his lover.

“That damn shit was giving me a freaking headache.”

“Oh!” Shuichi blinked at Eiri. “I'm sorry,” he blushed, looking sheepish. “You should've said something. I would’ve turned it down.”

Eiri sighed irritably. “Why must you insist on listening to that crap at deafening levels? You're going to be deaf before you turn twenty at this rate.”

“What?” Shuichi stared in shock at the older man. “I will not,” he argued, shaking his head. “Besides, I love that song!”

Eiri cast his lover a quick glance with a snort. “And you can't love that song at a lower volume?”

Shuichi blinked stupidly at him. “Why would I?”

Eiri sighed. Oh, boy, he thought. “Never mind,” he mumbled. “Anyway, what's your excuse for every other time you watch TV or listen to the radio?”

Tohma Seguchi gave Shuichi the week off so he could relax and recuperate after everything that happened. Eiri was the one who insisted on his lover spending the time at his apartment and by the end of the second day he had been ready to toss the boy right out the door. It was something he had not known about his adorable boyfriend. Shuichi has to listen to the television and the radio at ear splitting levels. The damn brat just could not have silence in the house. To him it was sacrilegious. It was very annoying and very distracting.

Shuichi shrugged nonchalant. “What can I say? Music is in my blood!” He tossed his hands in the air and laughed.

Eiri smirked, shaking his head in disbelief. “Unbelievable,” he said. “What--a--moron.”

The laughter stopped as if a switch had been flicked. Shuichi turned towards him. “What?”

“Nothing. Just wondering how I got stuck with such a geek for a boyfriend.”

Shuichi beamed a smile at the writer. He clasped his hands in his lap. Just lucky!”

Eiri snorted as he signaled and pulled into the driveway. Shuichi was a crazy kid with some quirky habits, but he loved him. Why? Now that was the question of the century. Why does the sun shine? Why is the grass green and the sky blue? Who knows? Who really cares?

“Hey, look!”

Shuichi's shout snapped Eiri out of his thoughts. He followed the kids pointing finger and cursed. Standing outside his apartment were their brothers. “You've got to be kidding! Jeeze, why don't they just move in if they're going to come over every single freaking day?!”

“Oh, come on, Eiri! They're family!”

Eiri pulled into his assigned parking spot. “Family or not,” he told his lover, “we don't have time…”

He glanced over at his lover…or rather where his lover had been sitting. The passenger door was flung wide open and racing across the lot towards his brother and his lover was Shuichi.

“Dammit,” Eiri cursed. He had not even waited until the car had come to complete stop! “How many fucking times…?”

Shutting off the car, he grabbed his cellphone from the middle console and stepped out of the car. Clipping the phone to his belt, he shut the door, rounded his Mercedes to the passenger side and shut the door Shuichi left open. Angrily, he stormed towards his lover who was talking rapidly and gesturing wildly with their guests. He was most likely telling them about his doctor's appointment they just came from. According to the doctor, Shuichi was indeed pregnant. She estimated about ten weeks. It was official. He was not the father, but that would not stop him from being a father to this child.

As he crossed towards his lover, he could not help but notice that his lover had a healthy glow about him. Shuichi had a giant smile plastered on his face. The sixteen year old was beaming like a pair of headlights in the darkness. Shuichi had not stopped bouncing or smiling since they left the doctors. Eiri had never seen Shuichi happier in all the time he had known him. But that was why the idiot should not be bounding out of moving vehicles!

“Shuichi Shindou,” he bellowed angrily.

Shuichi stopped in mid-sentence. He glanced over his shoulder and cringed at the furious expression on his lover's face. Now what had he done? “Uh, Eiri? What…?”

Eiri slapped his lover upside the head when he got close enough.

“Ow! Eiri,” Shuichi cried. He covered the back of his poor, tender head. “What was that for?” he sobbed, his voice trembling and tears running down his face.

Ryuichi and Tatsuha gasped in shock. Ryuichi glared at the older writer.

“Idiot,” Eiri yelled angrily. He enveloped his boyfriend in a bone-crunching hug. “Do you want to get yourself killed?” He stepped back and cupped Shuichi's face. “Never do that again, understand?” He brushed away his lover's tears with his thumbs, leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

Shuichi's eyes grew wide in shock and a deep blush crossed his cheeks as Eiri kissed him right in front of his brother!

“It's not just you anymore,” Eiri reminded him in a softer tone, pulling back. “You have to think about our baby…and me.”

Shuichi's eyes grew wide; this time in shock at what Eiri was telling him. He flung himself at his boyfriend and hugged him tight. “I'm sorry,” he cried. “I'm so sorry!”

Eiri hugged him back. “It's okay. Just don't do it again, okay?”

Shuichi stepped back and wiped at his wet face with a nod.

Eiri draped his arm around Shuichi's shoulders and held him tightly against his side, who wrapped his arms tightly around his waist. Eiri glanced suspiciously at his brother and his lover.

Tatsuha grinned at his brother. He never knew his cold-hearted brother had a soft side. It was so cute!

Eiri growled. He knew that look. He knew what his brother was thinking. He sighed impatiently. “What the hell are you doing here? Whatever it is will have to wait. We just came home to change, and then we're going to a funeral.”

Ryuichi, who had been watching his little baby Shu-shu and his much older boyfriend closely, snapped out of his ministrations. “What funeral?”

Eiri rolled his eyes. “The brat wants to go pay his respects to that asshole Aizawa.” He grunted, doubling over when sudden pain laced his side. He glared at his tiny lover, who had elbowed him and who was now glaring angrily at him.

“What time do you have to be there?” Tatsuha asked.

Eiri glanced at his watch. It was not even ten o'clock. “An hour.”

Tatsuha nodded and exchanged a knowing look with his lover. “Well,” he said, “you may want to be late for this.”

Eiri raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

Shuichi glanced from one person to another. “What's going on?”

Ryuichi stepped forward. “Shuichi,” he said. He glanced down at the ground as he tried to gather his thoughts. “Shuichi,” he began again, raising his head, “what if…what if Tatsuha and I were to become your legal guardians?”

Shuichi blinked, completely stupefied. Ryuichi and Tatsuha wanted to become his guardians? Why? Was his mother and father not his guardians? Had something happened? He glanced from Ryuichi to Tatsuha and back in rising panic. His heart started beating rapidly. “Did something happen?! Is Mom-?”

Ryuichi shook his head. “No, no, no. They're both fine. It's just that Tatsuha and I thought that we'd be better guardians for you than Mom and Father.”

Shuichi blinked in confusion. “I don't understand.”

“We petitioned the courts to become your legal guardians. Shuichi…Father and Mother...they gave up their parental rights. We’re--that is, Tatsuha and I, are now officially your legal guardians.”

As his brother's words sank in, the world started tilted haphazardly and then everything went dark.

 

* * *

 

Eiri sat on the opposite L of the couch from Ryuichi and Tatsuha. His ankle crossed over his knee, the writer draped an arm along the back of the couch. “So,” he drawled, taping the fingers of his other hand on his folded knee. He so needed a cigarette, but he promised not to smoke in the apartment anymore. There was no way he could stop smoking, even if he wanted to, but for Shuichi and the sake of the baby he compromised with the brat and decided to cut back and not smoke in the apartment. It was harder then he thought possible, but it was well worth the hell he was going through. “Seguchi helped pull this whole thing off, did he?” It was so like him to stick his big nose into everything.

“Yes,” Ryuichi said with a nod, “he did. We told Tohma what we wanted to do and asked him if there was anything he could do and he said he would do everything in his power to help us.”

“He really cares about Shuichi,” Tatsuha said, “and would do anything for the boy.”

Apparently, Eiri thought. This went to show how much influence the president of NG Productions had. Either some people owed him some favors, or he knew a little something-something about the right people. Eiri thought about it and decided the last sounded more like his brother-in-law. He snorted and shook his head.

“Without Tohma's connections, it would've taken months.”

Eiri raised an eyebrow in question.

“Shuichi would have been taken into custody with Social Services until the claims were thoroughly investigated and that could've taken--who knows how long,” Ryuichi added in agreement.

Eiri blinked, slowly going over what the idiot Sakuma just said. Shuichi would have been taken into custody. Meaning Shuichi would have been taken away from him? Oh, no, no, no! Hell to the no! Shuichi was his and he did not intend to ever let that damn brat go. He raised an imaginary glass. “Here's to Dictator General Seguchi and his connections,” he toasted.

His brother laughed and imitated him. “Here, here.”

Even Ryuichi chuckled.

“Ya know,” Tatsuha said after a few moments of silence, “even if we had gone through the proper channels,” he continued, “I don't think it would have taken all that long.”

Ryuichi turned to look at his lover in question.

“How so?” Eiri asked.

“Well, I was just thinking that there wouldn't have been much to investigate. Ryu and I have been thinking about this for a while now. Since Shuichi hasn't been home in--God knows how long. He's always either here or at our place. It's common knowledge that Mr. Shindou doesn't care about his son.”

Eiri scowled.

_“My dad...He hates me.” The tears flowed faster down his face._

_Eiri could not believe that to be the truth, maybe an exaggeration, but how could a parent truly despise their child? “I'm sure that's not true.” He reached out with his other hand and gently brushed his fingers across the boy's wet cheek. “I can't imagine anyone thinking that about you,” he whispered huskily._

_“It is,” Shuichi protested. “I'm just a freak, a mutation, a waste of flesh...,” he sobbed. “My brother was more of a father to me than Dad ever was! He ignores me like I'm not even there!” Great sobs racked his body, making him shudder. His face was red and wet from all the crying. “My father...he doesn't care what I do! I could show up dead as a doornail on his doorstep and he wouldn't care!”_

At the time, Eiri had believed Shuichi was exaggerating, but apparently, what Shuichi told him that day was the truth after all. It was hard to believe. How could anyone hate Shuichi? What was there not to love about the kid? Damn that man!

“When we confronted my father about what we wanted,” Ryuichi continued in a soft voice, “he…He didn't argue.”

“What?” Eiri cried in shock. He could not believe that a father could give up his child without a fight.

Tatsuha nodded in agreement. “Mr. Shindou signed over his parental rights to us.”

“I'm going to go check on Shu,” the older singer said suddenly.

“Wait,” Eiri called out to him. Ryuichi sat back down and looked at him curiously. “There's actually…” He bowed his head and blushed. He scolded himself for acting like a schoolgirl. “There's something I wanted to ask you guys.”

Tatsuha and Ryuichi glanced at each other then at the once cold and stoic writer.

“It's about…Shuichi and me.”

 

* * *

 

_Shuichi was running down a dark tunnel chasing after a figure that was walking steadily ahead of him, but no matter how hard or fast he ran, he could never seem to catch up. His violet eyes overflowing with tears, the pink haired singer stared after the man through tear-blurred eyes. “Daddy,” he sobbed piteously. He reached out a shaking hand. “Daddy, please!”_

_Without so much as a glance in his direction, without giving the slightest hint that he heard Shuichi calling out to him, his father continued to drift farther and farther away, ignoring Shuichi as if Shuichi did not exist._

_“Daddy,” Shuichi cried._

_Then from out of the shadows stepped a beautiful woman he recognized instantly as his mother. Shuichi watched her as his father passed her without a word. The man did not even spare her a glance, ignoring her as if she was not even there, but the woman stepped into line behind him and followed him down into the dark tunnel._

_“Mama,” Shuichi cried, reaching out for her. “Mama, please!” He started after his parents, but he was not getting any closer to his parents. They seemed, in fact, to be getting farther away from him. “Mama! Daddy!”_

Shuichi flew up out of bed with a gasp. His heart was racing, beating a rapid tempo against his ribcage. Sweat drenched his face and dribbled down his neck. It plastered his clothes to his body like glue. Panting, he stared straight ahead, not seeing the cream-colored wall as the dream replayed itself over in his head. Sudden tears blurred his vision. He slapped a hand over his mouth as a sob escaped parched lips. He held back the torrent of tears that were clawing to be set free. His chest strained against the effort to hold the wave of despair back, but it became too much. The dam broke and it all came gushing forth. He dropped his head into his hands and sobbed.

His father hated him. His own father wanted nothing to do with him or the child he was carrying--the man’s own grandchild! Shuichi always said that he would be okay with his father’s animosity as long as he had someone who could love him--and he did! He had Eiri, who loved him and wanted him and his child, even though it was someone else's. He had his brother and Tatsuha, Hiro, Suguru, Tohma and Noriko. So, what did it matter if one miserable old man hated him? Why did it hurt so much? Why did it feel as if his heart had been torn in two?

There was a light tap on the bedroom door. Shuichi looked up and watched through his tears as his brother stepped into the bedroom and shut the door behind him. Ryuichi said nothing as he walked silently across the carpeted room to sit on the edge of the bed with his hands clasped between his knees.

Shuichi wiped at his tears, but it was a futile action. They continued to flow. “I'm sorry,” he whispered in a voice thick from crying.

Ryuichi turned towards him in surprise. “For what?”

Shuichi stared at his wet hands now clasped in his lap. “For fainting earlier.”

Ryuichi's face softened. He shook his head. “You have nothing to apologize for. Any-”

“I finally…I finally got it,” Shuichi sobbed, cutting his brother off. A fresh wave of sadness flowed through Shuichi. He sniffled and glanced at Ryuichi despondently through a thick torrent of tears. “No matter how hard I try, he's always going to hate me! I'm always going to be a disappointment to him!”

Without asking, Ryuichi knew exactly what Shuichi was talking about. “Oh, Shu.”

Shuichi flung himself at his brother.

Ryuichi held Shuichi as the sixteen year old cried. Shuichi's lithe frame shook as he sobbed. Ryuichi felt his heart breaking for him. He rubbed small lazy circles on the boy's back. Tears flowed silently down his own cheeks.

When Ryuichi heard a soft click, he turned around and saw Eiri standing in the bedroom doorway with a concerned look on his face. Behind him, Ryuichi could see Tatsuha. The writer threw Ryuichi a questioning look. Ryuichi nodded, saying without words that everything was all right.

Eiri nodded once and stepped back out of the room, shutting the door quietly.

“Ya know,” Ryuichi told Shuichi. The words choked on the lump in his throat. “I don't know if you know this, but Mom and my father--my biological father,” he clarified, “were high school sweethearts.” Shuichi's sobs lessened, but his grip on him did not. “They planned to get married after graduation and start a family right away. My father wanted to go into the family business. Mom planned to stay home and take care of the children, much like what she did after she met Dad.” Meaning Shuichi's father. He felt Shuichi nod, a silent indication that he got it so far. “But a month before graduation, Mom discovered she was pregnant.”

Shuichi pulled away and wiped at the tears drying on her cheeks. He sniffed. “You?” he questioned quietly, almost shyly.

Ryuichi nodded and smiled, brushing a lock of hair off Shuichi's forehead.

“She was scared and a little ecstatic and thought her boyfriend would be too. After all, this was what they had been talking about doing, but when she told him about the baby, he got angry with her and accused her of cheating.”

Shuichi gasp. His eyes grew wide in disbelief and shock.

Ryuichi nodded. “The bastard broke up with her, denying that I was his and said he wanted nothing to do with her or the ‘bastard child' she was carrying. Mom went to grandma and grandpa, but they turned her away. They wanted her to either have an abortion or go abroad for the duration of her pregnancy and give up the child when it was born. Mom was against both ideas and left home. She moved in with some friends, got a couple part time jobs and started saving up to get her own place.”

Shuichi sat up and dried his face with the hem of his shirt. He never knew that their mother had gone through a situation very similar to what he was going through now and if she made it out okay in the end, then there was no reason why he should not be able to as well. Just that knowledge lifted his spirits. “Thank you, Ryu,” he smiled.

Ryuichi ruffled Shuichi's pink hair.

Shuichi protested weakly.

“Any time.” Ryuichi’s smile slipped slightly. “Ya know, my father tried contacting me a few years back.”

Shuichi blinked. “Really? I don't remember that.”

Ryuichi nodded.

“What happened?” Shuichi crossed his legs, waiting patiently.

Ryuichi shrugged. “I told him to go to hell.”

Shuichi gasped, his eyes growing wide.

“I told him I had a father.”

Shuichi's jaw dropped.

Ryuichi’s biological father somehow managed to track him down at a very convenient time: when Nittle Grasper was finally beginning to hit it big in Japan. When he was younger, Ryuichi promised himself that when he grew up, he would find his birth father, but as he grew, he realized that finding a man who denied his very existence for all of these years, finding a man who did not care about him was not important anymore. Now it was his turn to deny his father’s existence. “The same thing may happen to you. As much as Dad might hate to admit it, you are his son. He may come around one day. If that day ever does come, it'll be up to you to decide whether you want a relationship with him or not.”

Shuichi bowed his head and nodded, deep in thought. What would he do if that day did come? On one hand, the bastard was his father. The man fed him, clothed him and put a roof over his head--some of the time…whenever Shuichi felt the need to remind his folks that he was still breathing--not that they had ever cared one way or the other. On the other hand, his father had not acted as much of a father. He only ever acknowledged Shuichi whenever it was convenient. Shuichi would give anything to have a normal relationship with his father and it hurt to know his father did not want the same thing.

“Until then,” Ryuichi was saying, “all you can do is go about living your life. _Fukusui bon ni kaerazu_. Split water will not return to the tray.”

Ryuichi was right. It was not going to be easy, but what else could he do? He had a child on the way, a wonderful boyfriend and a band to take to the top of the charts.

“We…”

Shuichi slid out of his thoughts and glanced at his brother.

“Tatsuha and I have no intentions of replacing Mom and Father.”

“I know,” Shuichi nodded.

Ryuichi gave a half smile. He stared at his hands playing with the bed covers. “They'll always be your parents, Shu. Tatsuha and I just wanted…We wanted to give you a better life, a place to call home without feeling as if you weren't wanted.”

Shuichi nodded, feeling tears prickling his eyes.

“We wanted you to be able to take care of your child without having to--to relay on people who don't…care.” It hurt him to say that last word.

It hurt Shuichi to hear it.

Ryuichi saw the devastated expression on Shuichi's face and mentally hit himself. “Speaking of which,” he said, “how was your doctor's appointment? Do you know if it's a girl or boy?” His brow furrowed in thought. “How were you able to make a doctor's appointment anyway?”

Shuichi smiled his appreciation at Ryuichi then frowned in thought, scratching his head. “Well, truthfully, I have no idea how I got the appointment. Eiri made a few phone calls last week and I suddenly had an appointment for today.” He shrugged.

The answer came to Ryuichi quickly: Tohma. “So?” Ryuichi asked.

Shuichi looked at his brother blankly. “So…what?” Suddenly his eyes lit up. “Oh! Well.” He blushed. “The doctor asked and I said I didn't want to know. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

Ryuichi groaned. He just thought Shuichi wanted to torture the rest of them for the next seven months.

“But,” Shuichi continued, “Eiri wanted to know.”

This caught Ryuichi's interest greatly.

“He said that it would be better to know the sex of the baby because then we'd know what to buy for it instead of trying to buy gender neutral stuff, or something.” He paused to take a breather.

“And,” Ryuichi prodded.

A bright smile lit up Shuichi's face. His eyes sparkled. “They think it may be a boy, but they weren't too sure.”

Ryuichi squealed and flung himself at Shuichi, startling the younger man. The singer laughed. “Shu-Shu's going to be a mommy,” he sang. He froze as realization hit him. If Shuichi was going to be a mother, then that made him…! With a gasp, he flung himself off the bed and out of the bedroom, screaming for Tatsuha.

Shuichi watched his brother wide shocked eyes. Then chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. His brother truly was…His mind blanked as he tried to come up with an appropriate word for what his brother was. Nothing seemed to be appropriate enough.

“What's wrong, Ryu?” Shuichi heard Tatsuha ask.

“We have to go get ready for Shu-Shu’s baby! Come on! We have to get lots and lots of presents!”

Shuichi snickered as heard Ryuichi jabbering a mile a minute about what they had to do in order to get the apartment ready for the new baby. “…baby gates and outlet covers…”

He could also hear Tatsuha's sputtering as he tried to get a word in. It was not working. “Dammit, Ryu! Will you at least let me get my damn shoes on before you drag me shopping?”

Shuichi fell back onto the bed and belted out a laugh.

Sighing happily, he smiled up at the ceiling. The smile faltered into a frown as a strange feeling washed over him. It felt as if he was forgetting something. Try as he might, he could not remember what that something may be. So, he shrugged it off and sat up. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he jumped off and walked across the hall to the bathroom. He had a funeral to get ready for.

 

* * *

 

Eiri sucked long and deep on his white cancer stick, his brow furrowed in thought and his eyes glazed over in thought.

How was he going to bring it up to Shuichi?

Eiri was leaning against his car outside the Aizawa house smoking while he waited for Shuichi to finish speaking with Aizawa's parents. He lowered his cigarette and tapped the growing ashes off the tip, blowing a thin stream of gray smoke into the warm late afternoon air.

Lifting his head, he caught sight of his lover.

Mrs. Aizawa was crying again. It wasn’t anything new, her son was dead after all; it would be suspicious if she weren‘t crying. There was nothing worse then losing your child, someone who was supposed to bury you. It must be so hard on not only her, but on her husband as well. Eiri had to admit that he could not even begin to understand how they were feeling. He just learned of his mother's death yesterday, but since he never knew him, it was a disconnected kind of loss. Otherwise, he’d never suffered the loss of a loved one and he hoped he never did.

But this time, Mrs. Aizawa's tears were not from her grief. This time, her tears were from happiness. Shuichi decided that he’d wanted to tell Aizawa's parents about the baby. It was the least he could do, he said. They lost their only child. Shuichi thought that maybe knowing that a piece of their son was still here would help them get over the loss of their son that more quickly. As much as Eiri had hated the bastard, he had not seen any reason not to let the Aizawa's know about the baby.

A high-pitched squeal echoed across the street. A smile curved the corner of Eiri's mouth as he watched Mrs. Aizawa fling herself at Shuichi. He chuckled softly as Mrs. Aizawa nearly crushed the life out of Shuichi.

“Honey.” Mr. Aizawa's soft exclamation could be heard clearly across the yard where Eiri was standing. The elder Aizawa stepped forward and tried to pry his wife off the boy. “Dear, that's enough now. Don't want to strangle the poor boy, now.”

“Oh!” Mrs. Aizawa let go of Shuichi and stepped back. She was flushed with embarrassment. “I'm so sorry, Shuichi!”

Shuichi smiled and waved off her apology. “It's fine. Don't worry about it.” Eiri saw that he did take a couple steps away from her and wrap his arms protectively over his stomach, though.

Eiri's eyes traveled over his lover.

Shuichi was wearing a black suit with a white button down shirt. He even had on a black tie. The pink haired idiot hated ties; he claimed it felt like they were choking him--go figure, so instead of it being straight and neat, his tie was hanging slack around his neck, but not so much so that he looked like a complete slob. He actually looked mature. It was a nice change, but at the same time, it felt not him.

Eiri’s heart soared as he studied his teenaged lover. God, how he loved him. A frown slipped over the writer's face. Being so deeply in love with the kid was exactly the problem, though. Or, “the kid” part being the problem. As much as he loved Shuichi and as much power and influence as Tohma had, Eiri was not sure if his and Shuichi's relationship could be kept hidden for very much longer. Shuichi becomes of age in April, but that was still about seven months away. With Eiri being so well known, the press was constantly following him around and snooping into things that did not concern them. Then there was Shuichi. The kid was going to be famous in his own right once Bad Luck's album dropped in the spring. Then the paparazzi were going to be all over him like bees to honey. There would be no hiding it then.

He dropped his cigarette butt and crushed it with the heel of his foot.

He loved Shuichi with all his heart, had since the moment he laid eyes on him and did not intend to let him go. Shuichi was his now and forever, but in order to make sure the kid was not taken away from him, there was only one thing they could do, but was he ready to take that next step? Was he ready to make that flying leap? Frankly, just thinking about it scared him. His doubts and fears resurfaced, making his heart pound and made him break out in a cold sweat.

What if their relationship did not work out? What if it was just a May to December fling? What if, in the end, it turned out Shuichi did not love him as he loved Shuichi? What if it was nothing more than a crush? What if Shuichi left him for someone closer to his own age? His doubts threatened to overwhelm him. His heart pounded unnaturally loud in his ear. The one thing that scared Eiri the most was being left alone again, of being abandoned. He was not sure he could take that. Not again.

He watched his lithe lover speaking with the Aizawas. When Shuichi laid his hands over his stomach, Eiri thought of the child growing in there. He pictured his lover's stomach swelling as their child developed and his uncertainties and doubts began to vanish. There were no guarantees in life, as much as he would love for there to be, and if he did not take the risk of his worst fears becoming reality, then he would spend the rest of his life wondering, “what if”.

When a pair of startling violet eyes suddenly appeared right in front of him, Eiri nearly jumped out of his skin. Cursing, he placed a hand over his racing heart. “Dammit, Shuichi! Don't do that. You scared me half to death.”

Shuichi smiled sweetly, his eyes crinkling in laughter. “Sorry, Eiri,” he giggled.

Eiri glared through squinted eyes in mock anger at the boy, but Shuichi was not deterred. He hooked his arm through Eiri's and turned around to the Aizawas, waving his final goodbye.

“Keep us informed about the baby,” Mrs. Aizawa called out to them.

“We will,” Shuichi shouted back, waving.

“Ready?” Eiri asked.

Shuichi turned back around--his whole face glowing with a beaming smile--and nodded. “Yep. Let's go home.”

Home. He liked that.

Eiri gave the Aizawas a small nod and rounded the car while Shuichi slipped into the passenger side. Buckling his seat belt, he slipped the key into the ignition and listened as his car purred to life. The writer put his Mercedes in gear and peeled away from the curb, vanishing down the street.

The ride back to Eiri's apartment was made in silence. Each man lost in his own thoughts. Eiri was trying to gather up the courage to talk to his boyfriend while Shuichi was trying to figure out what was gnawing at the back of his mind. He knew there was something he had been meaning to talk to Eiri about for the last few weeks now, but for the life of him, he could not remember what it was!

As they passed the park where the two of them first met over a month ago, Eiri found himself turning into the parking lot.

Shuichi blinked, taking in their location. “Eiri? What're you doing?”

“We need to talk,” Eiri said as he pulled into an empty space.

Shuichi swallowed over a sudden lump in his throat. He looked over at Eiri. The blond haired author had a serious expression on his face. Shuichi suddenly had a bad feeling.

Eiri turned off the car and unclasped his seat belt. Opening the door, he slid out of the car and pocketing his keys, shut the door and walked to the grassy knoll in front of the car, leaving Shuichi inside, staring after him in fright.

A sudden flood of doubts crept over Shuichi. Was Eiri going to break up with him? Had he finally realized that because Shuichi was a minor, he was not going to take the risk of going to jail for statutory rape? Did he think Shuichi was too immature? Or did he change his mind about the baby?

Shuichi yelped when there was a sudden sharp rap on the passenger side window. Slowly, he turned to face his lover, or was that soon-to-ex-lover?

“Are you going to sit in there all day?”

Licking dry lips, Shuichi took off his seat belt.

Eiri stepped back as Shuichi opened the door and stepped out. Shuichi had a naturally tan complexion, but as the boy shut the car door behind him, Eiri noticed how pale his partner was. His bejeweled eyes darted around as if he was searching for the executioner. As Eiri took the boy's hand, lacing their fingers together, he felt Shuichi shaking. He mentally cursed. Shuichi was scared. The poor kid probably thought he was going to break up with him.

He led Shuichi to a very familiar bench. It was the same bench where he met Shuichi the night they became lovers.

Shuichi was still trembling. He even now had tears prickling his eyes.

Eiri draped an arm around the boy's shoulders and pulled him tightly against him.

Shuichi curled up besides his older lover, wrapping his arms tightly around Eiri's waist. He felt the tears forming, a lump appeared in his throat and his chest felt tight. If Eiri truly was going to break it off, Shuichi was determined to not let the man go.

Eiri sighed and stared out over the park. There were a few families picnicking under the shade of the trees and a dozen or so children were playing on the jungle gym; their screams, cries and laughter filled the air. A smile lit the writer's face. Soon, it would be his child playing out there. It surprised him just how much he wanted this. It was not too long ago that he hated the idea of being tied down. It was funny what meeting the right person would do to a person.

“I've been in love with you for a year,” Eiri said suddenly.

As hard as he tried, Shuichi could not stop a sob from escaping. A stray tear trickled down his face.

Eiri hugged his little lover closer, feeling a lump forming in his own throat. He hated that he was the cause of his distress. “But we've only been together for about a month.” He blinked, taken back, thinking what he just said. Had it really only been a month? Wow, he thought. Seems like he has known Shuichi his entire life. It was somewhat odd to think that only a few weeks ago, he had been fawning over the kid from a dark corner of a bar watching as he danced and pranced around on stage. “And we're already connected for the rest of our lives,” he continued, placing a hand over the boy' stomach.

Shuichi unfurled a hand from Eiri's waist and laid it on top of his partner's, trapping it there.

“Shuichi, you're sixteen years old. I'm twenty-two. In February, I'll be twenty-three. You don't become of age until April.”

Shuichi said nothing, but he tightened his hold on Eiri, screwing his eyes shut as he tried to block out the inevitable words from the blond haired man.

Eiri snorted. “Only sixteen and you're already going to have a baby.” He shook his head in disbelief. “Not too mention, you're involved in a sexual relationship with a guy six years older than you.”

Shuichi did not bother stopping the tears flowing freely down his face. “You're going to break up with me, aren't you?” He sniffed and shook his head vehemently. “I won't let you go!” he cried, gripping Eiri's white button down shirt tightly. “You're mine! Mine! You promised! You said you wouldn't leave me! You said…you said…” His voice faded into a torrent of sobs. “I won't let you go! Ever!”

“Good,” Eiri stated firmly. He raked his free hand over Shuichi's soft, silken pink tresses.

Shuichi's sobs vanished as if a switch had been thrown. He lifted his head and stared at the writer through a veil of tears and snot. “What?” he asked, sniffling. He sat up and wiped his face with the back of his hand.

Eiri smiled tenderly at the boy. “What I'm saying is I think we're moving a little too fast.”

Shuichi's face screwed up and fresh tears poured down Shuichi's face. “You do want to break up with me!”

Eiri sighed deeply. “No, Shuichi,” he said in a calm, even voice. He gripped Shuichi's shoulders and turned him so that they were facing one another. “Look at me, Shuichi,” he told the boy. “Shuichi, look at me,” he demanded more firmly. When the boy turned a water logged face towards him, Eiri smiled non-threateningly. “Shuichi, I'm totally devoted to you and the baby. He's my son after all, right? Right?” he repeated.

Shuichi sniffled and rubbed his leaky eyes. He nodded. “Mm hm,” he hiccupped.

“Look, all I'm saying is, I think we're moving too fast. I just want us to slow down and get to know one another a bit before things get any more serious.” Shuichi opened his mouth to protest, but Eiri cut him off before he could speak. “And no I haven’t met anyone else. No, I haven’t fallen in love with someone closer to my own age. No, I don't want to see other people.” He cupped Shuichi's face and stared deeply into his eyes. “Shuichi, I've been in love with you ever since I stumbled into that bar you were performing in a year ago. I haven't felt this way about anyone else since or before. You are it, Shu. You make me want to do things I always told myself I would never do. I--want--to--be--with--you. Do you understand?”

“You…you don't want to break up with me?” Shuichi’s voice broke as he said those words aloud.

Eiri grinned and shook his head. “Never. I love you, Shuichi Shindou,” he whispered as he leaned into the boy. He brushed their lips together lightly, but he got the reaction he was hoping for. Shuichi's cheeks took on a color very similar to his hair color. Eiri chuckled as he pulled back.

Shuichi laid his hands on top of Eiri's and searched his lover’s face. Was Eiri telling him the truth? “Really?” He hoped to God that was the case. He did not know what he would do without Eiri by his side.

“Yes, really,” Eiri reassured him with a smile.

Shuichi heard or read somewhere that the eyes were the windows into the soul of a person and as he searched the depths of Eiri's soul, he knew. He knew that Eiri was not lying. Everything would be all right.

“But,” Eiri sighed.

Shuichi tensed. Fresh tears prickled his eyes.

“Shuichi…as much as I love you and want to be with you, because you're a minor…It's -”

“We can make it work,” Shuichi cried crazily into Eiri's face. “We can get Tohma-”

Eiri shook his head and pried his lover's hands off his shirt collar. “Even Tohma can't go above the law on this. It's illegal for me, being over 17, to have a sexual relation with you, not yet 17.”

Tears trickled down Shuichi's already flushed face. “Eiri,” he cried softly. He knew all that and he did not want to get Eiri into any trouble but, still he did not want to lose him either.

“But there is one way where we can be together.”

“Really?” Shuichi scrubbed his face dry. He stared at Eiri hopefully.

Eiri nodded. “I've been doing some research and…” His face flamed hotly.

Shuichi grinned widely as he saw the red tint on Eiri's face. He was so cute when he blushed.

Eiri coughed into his fist, his flush growing. He turned his face away from giggling his lover was doing.

Shuichi's smile grew wider. His eyes sparkled and the tears and misery that had engulfed him earlier vanished. “What was that, Eiri?”

The blond writer growled in irritation. He hated to repeat himself, especially when it was so damn embarrassing. “Wecangetmarried,” he shouted all in one breathe.

Shuichi's eyes grew wide. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He closed his mouth and tried to get his mouth and brain in sequence. “A-are you serious?”

Eiri shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. He was still not looking at him. “Males have to be 18 or older and women and neutrals have to be 16 or older, but because you're under 20, you have to get your guardians permission and I, uh, kinda did that earlier when, uh, Tatsuha and Sakuma were over.”

“And they said…?” Shuichi felt detached from the conversation. Marriage? He could not believe Eiri wanted to marry him.

“They, uh, said yes.”

Shuichi slumped back on the bench. Marriage?

Eiri leaned back and draped an arm on the back of the bench. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted his lover's stunned, pale face. He could not blame the boy. He had the same reaction when he learned what they would have to do in order to stay together. Marriage was not something either one of them had ever thought about. But was it all that bad? Being attached legally to the one person he loved more than anything in this entire world, the mother of his son?

No, Shuichi answered himself, it was not, but like Eiri said, he was only sixteen. Bad Luck was just taking off, he had a baby on the way and Tohma was…

“Idiot,” he cried aloud. Shuichi smacked his forehead. Now he remembered what it was that he had forgotten.

“Shu?”

“I'll make you a deal,” Shuichi said. He turned towards the man.

Eiri raised an eyebrow at his lover. “Oh? What kind of deal?”

“Well, I'll agree to marry you only…”

Eiri waited.

“…if you agree to…” The rest was lost as Shuichi bowed his head, his face burning and straining.

Eiri blinked, not sure he heard his lover right. “What?”

Shuichi's face burned warmer. “Next fall, Tohma's going to…uhm; he's going to be moving the uhm, record company to…to Tokyo.”

Eiri stared at Shuichi blankly for several long moments.

Shuichi blushed deeply. He stared at the ground, unable to look at his boyfriend. He could not believe that he had forgotten something like this!

Then it came.

“What?!”

Shuichi bowed his head in shame and guilt. How could he have forgotten something this huge? This changed everything! He felt the prickle of threatening tears, but pushed them aside. Crying now would only make Eiri madder.

Eiri narrowed his eyes and glared at the teen. “This better be some kind of sick joke, Shuichi Shindou.”

Having nothing to say to that, Shuichi hung his head in disgrace. He wished it were all just a joke. To Eiri, his silence must have said it all because he stalked back to the car with an aura of rage and fury engulfing him, “Get the fuck in the damn car or you'll be walking back!” Eiri hated him and it was his fault! Did Eiri no longer want to be with him? Was he going to break up with him and call off the engagement? Was Eiri going to go back on his promise to love and support him and the baby? The thought of Eiri abandoning him as everyone else in his life had gave him a heavy heart. Shuichi’s soft sobs grew into great wails. Everything was finally going right in his life and he had to screw it all up!

Idiot!

 

* * *

 

The air inside the car was heavy and thick. Even a chainsaw would not be able to cut through it. An uncomfortable silence hung just as heavy and oppressive around their necks.

Tears filled violet eyes, but did not trickle down flushed cheeks, as if an invisible barrier stopped them from imminent exposure. Shuichi's vision blurred behind those salty droplets. He wiped his runny nose on the sleeve of his black suit jacket and sniffed.

Seeing him out of the corner of his eye, Eiri slapped his arm.

“Ow,” Shuichi cried out in pain. He cradled his injured arm to his chest and stared at his boyfriend in shock and confusion. “What was that for?” he whined.

“Use a fucking Kleenex,” Eiri barked.

Shuichi’s eyes went wide before he dropped his head submissively and nodded in compliance. He clasped his hands in his lap and stared at his feet meekly. A deep chasm of melancholy and anguish was slowing eating away at him. He wished a hole would open up and swallow him.

The shield cracked under the pressure and the first tear made its slow trek down Shuichi's cheek. The singer did not have the energy to reach up and brush it away. He felt like a rag that had been wrung out. Only instead of water, his liveliness was swirling the drain.

After everything that happened this past month, he completely forgot about NG Productions moving to Tokyo some time next year. He, Hiro and Suguru have been working hard to perfect themselves. Shuichi wanted Bad Luck to be the best band in the music business. He wanted to surpass his big brother and Nittle Grasper. He wanted Bad Luck to be one of those rare bands who were around twenty, thirty years from now. He wanted to be on that stage hearing the roar of the crowd and know they were all there to see him; that he was the one they came to see. He wanted to give them something they would still be talking about a decade or two or three from now. He wanted to inspire people to follow their hearts, to make their dreams reality and to do their best. He wanted to make a difference in somebody's life, to have people say that if he could do it then so could they. Shuichi wanted it all, but he could not do it alone. His dreams were too big even for him.

Shuichi loved singing and performing for people. It did not matter if it was one person or one-hundred. Music was in his blood. It was the only interest he had and if he were to lose it, he was not sure what he would do. Hiro who had always been toted as an academic genius was on his way to being valedictorian while Shuichi had not even gone to high school. He probably would have bombed the entrance exams anyway seeing as he flunked out of junior high. Besides, classes started too early and ran too late. He hated to study, not that he understood the lessons to begin with. They usually went right over his head. Studying what already confused him just made his head spin even more. Besides, it did not really matter if he did or did not study anyway. His mind went completely blank right before a test and everything he had known vanished, as if he never learned it in the first place. Even getting a tutor did not help. In addition, there were the teachers! They just droned on and on and on. It was as if they liked the sound of their own voices. For him, school was kin to torture. It was an establishment meant to punish children and keep them out of their parents’ hair.

The only thing that kept him going was his love of music. He joined the school choir in junior high and became a featured soloist. He even joined the school band after the conductor caught him playing the piano in the music room one day. It was where he actually met Hiro.

While he enjoyed writing (to a certain extent), literature was one great snooze fest because unless it had to do with music or was one of those rare mangas he fell in love with, he always seemed to fall asleep while reading, especially when it came to that crap considered “great works”. It was weird, his eyes just suddenly became heavy and he could not keep them open even if his life depended on it. Literature may not be his forte, but there was one poem that stuck out in his mind from the hordes of crap they forced onto him and his fellow students. It was an elegy by Alfred, Lord Tennyson called, “In Memoriam AHH”. The poem was an autobiography of Alfred, Lord Tennyson's grief, loss and eventual solace over the loss of his close friend Arthur Henry Hallam.

_This year I slept and woke with pain,_   
_I almost wish'd no more to wake,_   
_And that my hold on life would break_   
_Before I heard those bells again:_

The stanza deals with Tennyson's thoughts of suicide during the first Christmas without his friend. Shuichi could relate to Lord Tennyson’s grief more than he cared to admit. If he had not had music in his life, these same dark thoughts would have overwhelmed him even more than they already had.

But now all his hard work was finally beginning to pay off. Tohma agreed to sign Bad Luck to a recording contract, not because of Shuichi's connection to Nittle Grasper, not because his big brother was none other than Ryuichi Sakuma, but because he recognized their talent. This was something Shuichi and the others have been working so hard for and now that he had it, was he just going to give it up so that he could be with Eiri? Did he love the man so much that he could just give up on his dream?

Shuichi gazed at his lover out of the corner of his eye. Eiri was staring straight ahead and concentrating almost obsessively on the road. His golden hazel eyes were narrowed and squinty. His lips were pursed together and his jaw set. Annoyance, anger and frustration were written clearly on his face.

Shuichi twirled his head back around and stared at his feet.

The one thing music had not been able to do was bring him completely out of the dark and into the light. It did not help him forget about a father who wished he were never born or a mother who blinded herself to reality, a woman who believed that if you could not see it then it was not there. He still felt an empty void inside of him. When Kizou came into his life and offered him an opportunity to forget all his troubles and sorrow, Shuichi took it. At the time, he believed Kizou was the answer to all his problems, the solution to his despair, but in the end, the plug that was supposed to stop the water from going down the drain just ended up being pulled down right along with the dirty dishwater. Not all the drugs, sex and alcohol helped him to forget. It was like taking a boiling pot off the burner and putting it back on a few moments later. All it did was just continue to boil.

That was where Eiri came in. The man came out of nowhere and stole his heart. Eiri burst into his life, grabbed him and walked off without apologizing. Eiri was his first in so many respects. He was the first person to accept Shuichi for who he was. The first to not have a hidden agenda. Eiri was the first person he felt comfortable enough around to finally relax and be himself. Eiri made his pulse race and his body react. Eiri made his mouth go inexplicably dry and made his palms sweat. When they were not together, Shuichi longed to be with him. He was always thinking of the blond writer, the guy never far from his thoughts. Shuichi caught himself always reminding himself, “I gotta remember to tell Eiri that.” When he went shopping, there was always something that would remind him of the man, or something he would buy with the man in mind. Eiri was everything. Without him, Shuichi was nothing. For the first time in his life, Shuichi felt whole. Eiri filled that void that sat empty within him for so long, an emptiness that not even music had been able to touch.

Shuichi bit the inside of his lip and peeked at Eiri.

Shuichi became blinded by his tears as a sudden onslaught pooled down his face. He covered his mouth as a loud sob filled the silence of the car. His tiny frame shook as he cried. It felt as if his heart had been ripped violently out of his chest.

Hearing Shuichi's cries tugged at Eiri's heartstrings. He found his anger slowly dissolving like a deflating balloon. He hated it when Shuichi cried; it always made Eiri feel so helpless. He never comforted anyone or been comforted before, so he did not know what to do in a situation like this, but Shuichi sounded so miserable! He had to do something. It was eating Eiri up that he was responsible for Shuichi’s unhappiness. Shuichi should be happy. The boy should be smiling and laughing but instead he was sitting in the passenger seat bawling his eyes out.

“Dammit,” Eiri cursed under his breath. He glanced around and spotting an empty space along the curb, signaled and pulled over.

Shuichi tensed up when he realized the car was slowing down. Had Eiri finally had it with him? Was he going to end it right here instead of waiting until they got home? A wave of desolation and panic washed over Shuichi. His heart started beating triple time. He had to do something! He could not let Eiri walk out of his life! Despite the seatbelt, Shuichi flung himself onto his boyfriend, gripping his arm tightly through the thick fabric of his suit coat and green button down shirt.

Eiri gasped in surprise. He had to jerk the wheel and slam on the brakes in order to keep from smashing into the parked car in front of him. “Jesus fucking Christ,” he cursed. He hung his head back against the seat and took a long, deep breath, trying to slow down his racing heart. “What the hell are you…?” His voice faded as he turned towards his fiancé and saw the look of utter terror on the boy’s face.

Shuichi stared at the older man with tears coursing down his face and snot drooling from his nose, but he did not care. Holding onto Eiri was the most important thing right now. “PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME! PLEASE!” He wrapped his arms around Eiri's chest and buried his tear and snot filled face on his arm.

Eiri blinked in surprise. What in the world…? Then everything fell into place. He sighed heavily. Why did Shuichi always jump to the worst-case scenario when it came to their relationship?

Shuichi wailed piteously. “I'll do anything! Just please do not leave me! PLEASE! I need you! I can't do this alone!” Shuichi's voice thickened, his words started to slur. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Tokyo, but so much’s happened that I forgot! Please! Give me another chance! Please! I swear I'll make it up to you!”

Oh, Shuichi, Eiri thought. His heart broke as he listened to the little idiot. Turning in the teenager's arms, Eiri hugged him back just as fiercely. “I need you too,” he whispered.

It was always incredible to watch Shuichi switch from one emotion to another.

His tears magically disappeared.

Shuichi pulled back enough so that he could see Eiri's face clearly. His face was still a mess and his gorgeous purple eyes clouded.

“W-what?”

Eiri snickered. “You really are an idiot,” he whispered in Shuichi's ear. He pulled his lover back to him and hugged him tight . “When did I ever say that I was leaving you, huh?”

Shuichi's eyes started to water again and his chin trembled. On the verge of crying once again, he sniffled. “B-but,” he cried, his voice shaking, “I thought…! I thought you ha-hated me!” He tightened his hold on Eiri.

“Shuichi,” Eiri sighed heavily. “Why would I hate you?”

“I lied to you and you hate me!” A look of fierce possessiveness stole over his face washing away the last of his tears and sorrow. “But I won't let you go! Ever!”

Eiri smirked. “Good,” he told his lover, rubbing small circles on the kid’s back.

Shuichi opened his mouth to echo that strong sentiment, but closed it when what Eiri said sunk in. He blinked in surprise and confusion.

Eiri pulled back and reached into the glove compartment.

Shuichi watched as he grabbed something. When Eiri sat back, Shuichi noticed several tissues in his hand.

Eiri looked at the love of his life with a tender smile. “Now, wipe your face off,” he told the boy in a soft but stern voice. “You look like you were hit by an ugly stick and that is not a look I want on my Shuichi.”

Shuichi blushed a deep crimson as he took the Kleenex from the man. He scrubbed his face free of tears and drying snot, then blew his nose. Feeling a little better, he placed the used tissues in the small plastic bag hanging from the console.

“Now,” Eiri said looking straight at his little fiancé, “what is this about me hating you?”

Shuichi bowed his head, playing with the tissue in his hands.

“Shuichi?” Eiri grabbed Shuichi's chin and gently lifted the boy's head. “Shuichi, look at me. Talk to me. What's going on in that thick skull of yours, huh?”

Shuichi's chin shook and a tear managed to worm its way down Shuichi's cheek. He jerked his chin out of Eiri's grasp and turned his head away. He was not sure if it was because of shame, embarrassment or if he was unable or unwilling to face the harsh truth of reality like his mother. Shuichi just could not look at Eiri.

Eiri sighed heavily. “You really are Sakuma's brother, aren't you?”

Shuichi hooked his heels onto the edge of the seat, wrapped his arms around his knees and rested his cheek on top of his bent knees. He turned to stare out the window and away from Eiri.

“Shuichi, I don't hate you.” Eiri reached out and ran his hand over his boyfriend's soft, silken strands. “I could never hate you. You mean too much to me for me to ever hate you.”

Shuichi felt a little spark of hope flame to life. Lifting his head, he turned to look at the older man. There was a look of cautious hope in his eyes. “You…you aren't angry with me for lying to you?”

“I'll admit that I'm pissed that you would spring this on me like this.” Eiri reached out and grabbed Shuichi's hand, lacing their fingers together and smiling down at the boy, putting all the feelings he had for the boy behind the force of it. “But I could never hate you.”

He loved this boy more than anything in this world. Shuichi was his heart, his soul, his everything. He could not imagine his life without Shuichi. Before he saw Shuichi at that bar a year ago, his life had been so bleak and dull. Eiri used to be such a recluse, burying himself in his writing. The only time he went out was for the occasional public appearance he was forced into doing by his agent, when he had to go to the corner market for a few things (like beer and cigarettes) and when he was feeling frustrated he went out for a walk or went to the bar to unwind. Once or twice, he even picked up some woman for a quick fuck. But mostly he kept himself to himself. He was not the kind of person who liked or felt the need to go out. He hated socializing of any kind. He did not like nightclubs, sports, karaoke bars or parties, but Shuichi changed all that. The kid livened up his life. Shuichi was a light bulb in a room that had always been dark. Shuichi made him realize that when it came down to it, he was only twenty-two and it was high time he started acting like it. Shuichi made him feel…alive.

If someone sat him down and asked, “Why did you fall in love with him? What is it about him?”

Eiri would answer that it was the big purple eyes that were always shinning., the big silly thousand-watt smile Shuichi was always wearing, Shuichi’s girlish giggle, those puppy dog eyes and cute little pout Shuichi could do on a whim in order to get his own way. It was the way Shuichi could make him laugh even when he was feeling down and out. It was the way Shuichi titled his head almost like a dog when he was listening to you, the way his eyes followed you around the room, the way his cute, tight little ass swung when he walked. It was a thousand different things and at the same time, it was none of those.

Whatever the answer was, Shuichi saw it as clearly as if Eiri had said it. The boy flung himself at his fiancé and hugged him forcefully. “I love you, Eiri!”

“I know.” Eiri sighed and hugged his idiotic fiancé in a fierce bear hug in lee of an apology. “I hate surprises. Moving to Tokyo is not something to throw around lightly. I mean, it's not something you do on a whim. Moving to another prefecture is a lot more complicated then if you were moving across town, Shuichi.”

Shuichi winced. “I know that.” Now, he added silently. “I'm sorry.”

Eiri shook his head. “It's fine. Just don't wait until the last minute to lay something this big on me again, okay?”

Shuichi pulled back and nodded, blushing anew. He sat back in his own seat and twiddled his fingers in his lap. “So, uhm...” He lifted his eyes and glanced quickly at Eiri before lowering his eyes and blushing deeper. “Does this mean you're going with me?”

Eiri sat back in his own seat, draping an arm around his lover's seat and ran his fingers through his blond locks. “I don't know, Shu. It's a big change. Let me think about it, okay?”

Nodding, Shuichi frowned and stared back out the window as a deep weight settled over his shoulders. Frankly, he was still unsure about the move himself. As much as music meant to him, as much as finally making it meant and despite the fact that Hiro and Suguru were counting on him, Eiri was right. It was a huge decision. What would happen to them if Eiri decided not to go to Tokyo and he did? Would they be forced to break up? Could they make a long distance relationship work?

Eiri started to back up the car and pulled away from the curb into the early evening traffic as a thousand questions and worries drifted through both of their minds.

**…To Be Continued…**


	9. A Not So Secret Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inserted: “Street of Dreams” by Rainbow
> 
> A/N: Just a little FYI, the inserted song in this chapter was the basis of the title. It’s a song from the 80s. Enjoy!

* * *

 

**Chapter 9: A Not So Secret Secret.**

Eiri stopped at the intersection, waiting for the traffic to clear enough for him to turn onto his street. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his lover--now fiancé--holding his chin in the palm of his hand and staring out the window with a blank expression on his face. He knew that look. It meant that Shuichi was trying not to think about something. The writer sighed heavily. Then his eyes slid down to his lover's stomach. A warm smile flitted across his face.

An angry honk behind him scared him out of his seat. Beside him, Shuichi yelped as he was startled back to the present. Holding his hand up in apology, Eiri turned down his street towards his apartment building trying to calm his racing heart.

“What were you doing, daydreaming?” Shuichi mock scolded. A sly grin spread across his face. “Or maybe you got distracted by my sexy good looks.” He gave a sharp laugh when he saw the reddish tint on Eiri's cheeks. “Ha ha,” he laughed, pointing. “Ei-ri's blu-shing! Ei-ri's blu-shing!”

Eiri growled as he felt his blush deepening. “Shut up!”

Grinning, Shuichi’s eyes sparkled in amusement. Feeling better than he had mere moments ago, Shuichi watched as they pulled into the driveway outside Eiri's apartment building.

Eiri pulled into his assigned parking spot, put the car into park and shut off the engine. In the silence of the car, Eiri realized Shuichi was humming. Releasing his seatbelt, he tried to ignore the boy but something about that melody sounded familiar. He turned towards his lover who was reaching for the door handle. “What are you humming?” he asked curiously.

“Huh?” Shuichi blinked at him with his hand resting lightly on the handle.

“That song you were just humming. What is it?”

Shuichi just looked at him blankly. Then his eyes widened and lit up with comprehension. “Oh,” he said, blushing. “It's that song I've been working on.”

Now it was Eiri's turn to look blankly at Shuichi.

“You know the one I told you about last week when I was watching that anime?”

“Oh.” Shuichi has been humming that tune off and on for the last week. Eiri knew that infernal melody by heart by now, but he still had not heard the lyrics and he had to admit the curiosity was eating at him, not that he would ever admit to that.

The two of them got out of the car and started walking towards the apartment. They reached out simultaneously and clasped each other's hand. Eiri and Shuichi looked at each other and blushed. Shuichi laid his head on Eiri's arm.

“Hey,” Eiri said as they walked towards the elevator.

“Hm?”

“Could you sing it for me?” Eiri asked as he pushed the up button.

“Huh?” Shuichi lifted his head and stared at his fiancé in confusion. “You want me to sing to you?”

Eiri scolded himself as he felt his face grow hot. “Yeah,” he said in embarrassment. He scratched the back of his head. Just then, the elevator pinged and the doors slid open.

Shuichi threw him a huge grin as they stepped into the car. “Of course.” He closed his eyes and hummed, trying to get a feel for the music.

Eiri pushed the button for his floor and the doors slid shut. As the elevator ascended to the top floor of the building, Shuichi's sweet melodious voice filled the entire car. It swirled around them, enveloping them in a soothing peaceful calmness.

**I heard the sound of voices in the night**   
**Spellbound there was someone calling**   
**I looked around no one was in sight**   
**Pulled down and I just kept on falling**   
**I've seen this place before**   
**And you were standing by my side**   
**I've seen your face before tonight**   
**Maybe I just see what I want it to be**   
**I know it's a mystery**

**Do you remember me**   
**On the street of dreams**   
**Running through my memory**   
**On the street of dreams**

**There you stood a distant memory**   
**So good like we never parted**   
**Said to myself I knew you'd set me free**   
**And here we are right back where we started**   
**Something's come over me**   
**And I don't know what to feel**   
**Maybe this fantasy is real**   
**Now I know I see what I want it to be**   
**But it's still a mystery**

**Do you remember me**   
**On the street of dreams**   
**Running through my memory**   
**On the street of dreams**   
**You are on every face I see**   
**On the street of dreams**

Shuichi hummed the music where he planned to have a guitar solo for Hiro. The man was a clear genius when it came to the guitar and Shuichi planned on letting the rest of the nation know just how the man could let that thing sing. He bopped his head in time to the tune he heard in his head.

Distantly, he felt the elevator jump to a stop at their floor and heard the ping as the doors slid open. Shuichi opened his eyes and linked his arm with Eiri's, letting the man escort him to the apartment.

“Is that it?” Eiri asked him as he dug out his keys.

Shuichi shook his head.

**Something's come over me**   
**And I don't know what to feel**   
**Maybe this fantasy is real**   
**Now I know I see what I want it to be**   
**But it's still a mystery**

**Do you remember me**   
**On the street of dreams**   
**Running through my memory**   
**On the street of dreams**

Once again, Shuichi hummed a few bars of music before singing again as Eiri unlocked the apartment door and pushed it open. He stepped back and let Shuichi enter first, then followed him in and shut the door behind them.

**Tell me have you always been**   
**[On the street of dreams]**   
**Will we ever meet again my friend**   
**[On the street of dreams]**   
**Do you know just what it means to be**   
**[On the street of dreams]**   
**Never know just who you'll see do ya**   
**[On the street of dreams]**   
**You can be who you want to be oh yeah**   
**[On the street of dreams]**   
**I can hear you calling me**   
**[On the street of dreams]**   
**I can feel you haunting me**   
**Haunting me**

Eiri smiled as the song ended. He toed off his shoes and set them besides Shuichi's then stepped up behind his fiancé and wrapped his arms around the boy's waist. Resting his chin on his narrow, bony shoulder, Eiri planted a chaste kiss on the side of the boy's neck. He felt the boy shudder and felt his own excitement stir. “It's crap,” he whispered in Shuichi's ear.

Shuichi's world came crashing to a sudden halt. “What?!”

Grinning, Eiri let go of the boy and started walking to the bedroom. “I said it's crap. A zero. A chimp could write something better.”

Shuichi's jaw dropped. He stared after the man in shock and disbelief. Getting the chance to look at his round tight ass in those tight black slacks was just an added bonus. “Crap?”

“Uh, huh,” Eiri nodded. He paused in the doorway of their bedroom and looked back at the boy who had not moved an inch. “Crap,” he reiterated, a huge smile plastered on his face and his eyes sparkling with mischief.

Shuichi saw that look on his lover's face and grew angry. “Oo! Eiri Uesugi!” How dare the man tease him like that?

Eiri chuckled as stepped into the bedroom, shedding his clothes as if he were a snake as he strolled to the closet.

“Just for that I'm going to pick out the most expansive engagement ring I can find,” he shouted as he marched into the bedroom.

“Oh?” Eiri questioned the boy with a raised eyebrow. He stepped out of the closet in baggy sweat pants and a tight T-shirt.

Shuichi's breath hitched at the sight of his lover's clearly defined chest.

“And who said you didn't already have your engagement ring?”

Shuichi blinked, yanked out of his intense studying of his lover. “What? I already have it?” He shook his head. “No I don't.”

Eiri walked across the room, reaching out towards him and nodded. “Yes, you do,” he corrected.

Shuichi watched Eiri's hand as it tugged at the chain around his neck.

Eiri pulled out the chain that held the ring he gave the boy that very first night.

Shuichi's eyes grew wide. He stared open mouthed at the man he planned to spend the rest of his life with. “Eiri? This…?”

Eiri bent down and planted a kiss on Shuichi's lips. “I love you,” he whispered, “and would follow you to the ends of the earth.” Once those words left his mouth, he knew two things. One, he made his decision about whether or not he would go to Tokyo (not that it was much of a decision. Really, what did he have in Kyoto that was so great? His publisher and agent lived in Tokyo. Shuichi, Sakuma and Seguchi would all be going to Tokyo, which meant that Tatsuha and Mika would be as well. There was no way in hell he wanted to be left alone with his insane family) and number two, he had been writing way too long. Then suddenly he found himself on the floor with a small bundle of pink in his face and he was having a hard time breathing.

“I love you, Eiri!”

Eiri hugged Shuichi back. “I know,” he whispered. “I know.” Though, he would never tire of hearing it.

 

* * *

 

**4 Months Later**

With a hand pressed to his aching lower back, Shuichi gripped the back of the bench with his free hand and grunted as he eased himself down. He sighed gratefully. Closing his eyes, he slouched down and flung his head back. “Mmm,” he sighed in relief. It was official. Being pregnant sucked.

Eiri gazed down at his fiancé in sympathy as he walked towards the bench. Shuichi was now 6 months pregnant and his belly was expanding like a balloon.

Now that they were hitting the last trimester, Shuichi seemed to be getting more tired. The kid's doctor said the fatigue was due to the growth of the baby and the changes his body was going through because of the pregnancy. Shuichi also seemed to have trouble falling asleep at night and when he did manage to fall asleep, it was not very restful. Naps in the middle of the day seemed to make up for the lack of sleep at night, though. Noriko told him to try sleeping on his side with a pillow either between his knees or under his belly (the Nittle Grasper keyboardist herself had given birth to a beautiful baby girl not too long ago.) Surprisingly enough, the pillow helped greatly.

Another problem Shuichi had was a feeling of extreme discomfort. Eiri had no idea what that was supposed to mean, but the doctor said it was normal as well. Apparently, this discomfort was due to the fetus stretching and bumping into Shuichi's muscles and organs.

His young fiancé also whines a lot about his swollen ankles, headaches (which apparently can be caused by just about anything) and backaches (which Eiri could understand, what with that gigantic weight he was carrying).

Normal activities like bending over to tie his shoe or pick up something off the floor and rolling over in bed quickly, just to name a few, have become difficult or impossible for him.

Then of course, there was his need to constantly go to the bathroom. Truthfully, Eiri found the whole thing very amusing…when he was not being ordered around by the kid's constant, often bizarre cravings at all hours of the day and night and his roller coaster emotions that was.

However, it was not all that bad. His son has begun to show signs of life. Sometimes his movements could be seen even through Shuichi's clothing. It was truly amazing, though Shuichi, at times, wished the kid would just give it a rest. Apparently, his son was a bit lively. At the same time, though, Eiri could not help but compare the baby's movements within Shuichi's belly to a sci-fi flick where there was an alien crawling around inside of some unsuspecting person. He once made the mistake of telling this to Shuichi and ended up sending him into hysterics. To say the least, that was the last time that subject ever came up.

Eiri slid next to his young fiancé and draped an arm around his narrow shoulders. Shuichi scooted his pregnant self-closer towards him and rested his head against Eiri's shoulder, sighing happily with a dreamy smile on his face. Eiri hugged Shuichi to his side and planted a kiss on the young singer's head.

Shuichi was not the only one with the roller coaster ride of emotions. Eiri himself was experiencing those same haywire feelings and about a great many things; about being a father and getting married. Despite being deeply in love with Shuichi, the thought of commitment terrified him. He knew it went back to when his mother abandoned him and his brother and sister. Shuichi being a neutral did not help either. He did not lie when he said things would not change over night, but things were getting better, but that did not stop him from waking up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night or second-guessing himself and his decisions.

Eiri slid his hand from his lover's shoulders and rubbed slow, lazy circles on his back. Shuichi leaned into his touch, moaning long and deep. The blond haired writer looked up and searched for Shuichi's older half-brother. He found him speaking with several employees near the checkout lines.

Ryuichi Sakuma appeared on their doorstep bright and early that morning announcing that he was going to take his “baby Shu-Shu” shopping. Not just any ordinary shopping, but baby shopping. Despite the fact that the singer had woken them at dawn, Eiri and Shuichi gladly took him up on his offer. Having a baby was very expensive and if they could divvy up the expenses, who were they to say no? As much as they appreciated Ryuichi doing this for them though, both Eiri and Shuichi thought the singer was doing too much. Ryuichi already furnished the entire nursery, (like purchasing the crib, rocking chair, changing table, dresser and various other miscellaneous items like diapers, extra sheets and blankets), but now here he was buying more for them. In the half hour they had been here, Ryuichi bought a car seat, more diapers, toys, bottles, binkis, a bouncer, outlet covers and several baby gates. Moreover, he was far from done.

“Ryu,” he heard Shuichi whine from besides him.

Eiri looked down at him.

“I wish he wouldn't.”

“Why? Less we have to buy. Saves us money.”

Shuichi looked up at him. “I know that, but still…It, it feels like…I don't know. It feels like we're relying on him too much, or something, ya know. I mean…” He sighed heavily.

Eiri smiled softly and nodded. He understood what his young lover was trying to get at, but decided to tease him. “Is it the money? Or is it because you're so pregnant, you can't do much of anything without needing to take a break?”

Shuichi opened his mouth, but closed it without saying anything, thinking. Then he blinked, snapping out of his thoughts as what Eiri said hit him. “Hey!” he cried, insulted. He elbowed Eiri hard, pouting angrily. “Jerk,” he said with a light giggle as Eiri chuckled besides him.

A sudden gust of wind and a blur of color flew by them. Eiri and Shuichi blinked as their hair and clothing rustled.

“Come on, Shuichi!” shouted Ryuichi as he blew past them. “Wee!”

“Ryu--is--an--idiot,” Shuichi said as he watched the older man vanish around a corner.

Eiri snorted. “He's your brother, Shuichi.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” the pregnant singer snapped.

“Nothing,” Eiri said shrugging. “Just saying.” Standing up, he held out a hand towards the young singer. “Come on.”

Groaning, Shuichi slumped down on the bench. “This sucks,” he moaned.

Eiri chuckled.

Shuichi lifted his head and stared at his lover.

Eiri sighed. He hated that look, those large puppy dog eyes and full pouty lips. “Shuichi,” he scolded.

Growling, Shuichi slid his hand within Eiri's and allowed him to pull him to his feet. If it were not for the watermelon under his shirt, he would have stood up by himself. He was not sure what was worse, being pregnant or his brother dragging his six-month pregnant ass around town. “Definitely being pregnant,” he grumbled.

“What're you complaining about?”

“Nothing,” Shuichi barked, crossing his arms over his chest and turning his back on his partner with a “humph” and started after his brother.

With a raised eyebrow, Eiri watched his fiancé walk, or rather, waddle away. He sighed heavily. “Woo boy,” he sighed. He would be glad when this was all over.

As he started after him, Eiri suddenly got the distinct impression that someone was watching him. Stopping, he glanced around, but did not see anyone or anything out of the ordinary. Nobody seemed to be paying them any particular attention. Shaking it off, Eiri jogged after his angry, pregnant fiancé and his insane brother.

 

* * *

 

Eiri found his betrothed with said betrothed’s brother in the infant department. “Jeeze,” he exclaimed as he walked over to them. “Leave some for the other customers!”

The shopping cart was already half full. He spotted several different types of hats, booties and socks, pants and shirts, footy pajamas and other one-piece outfits. With a sigh, he rolled his eyes. He loses sight of them for a second and look what happens. Despite what he said to Shuichi earlier, he was beginning to believe that the kid was right. He leaned over the cart and picked up one of the outfits. It consisted of a pair of jeans with an elastic waist and a multicolored striped sweater over a white button down shirt.

“This stuff looks like doll clothes.” He looked up at Ryuichi who was looking at short sleeve shirts with stick figure people stitched on the front. “Sakuma,” he began, “don't you think this is more than enough?” he asked, indicating the cart.

Ryuichi paused and turned to look at him with a look of bewilderment on his face. “Why? Is it too much?”

Shuichi, who was looking through a sales rack, turned to watch his brother and fiancé curiously.

“The kid already has a closet full of clothes and it's still another three months until he's born. We've gotten outfits from Seguchi, Mizuki,” Eiri's editor, “Tatsuha-”

“You can never have enough clothes,” the older singer said happily turning back around to search the racks. “They spit up and drool and who knows what all the time.”

Eiri sighed. Both he and Shuichi have many clothes, but even combined, this kid already had three times as many. He could wear a new outfit every day for a year and still would not have made a dent in his closet.

“Awe! Look, Eiri! Isn't it cute?” cooed Shuichi, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Turning around, Eiri saw Shuichi holding out a pink and white lace dress with puffy sleeves and a billowing skirt. It was so tiny; it looked like the only body that could fit into it was a Barbie doll’s. Shuichi laid the dress against his swollen stomach and glanced up at him with wide wonder filled eyes, glistening with unshed tears. A bright smile lit his face.

Eiri glanced from the dress to Shuichi. “It's very cute, Shuichi.”

Shuichi held the dress back out, still smiling, studying it.

“But you do realize that it's a dress.”

Rolling his eyes, Shuichi threw his fiancé a look and made a disgusted sound. “I know that.”

“Good. Then you can put it right back.”

“Aw!” Shuichi spun around, pouting. “But it's so cute! And it's 75 percent off! Why can't I get it?” he whined.

“Shuichi,” Eiri sighed . “It's a dress and in case you forgot, your son is not a girl,” he explained carefully.

“Yeah, but-!”

“But what?” Eiri strode forward and yanked the dress out of Shuichi's hands. As predicted, Shuichi whined in protest. Eiri shoved the clothes on the sales rack over and placed the dress back on it. Turning around, he sighed heavily when he saw Shuichi pouting angrily, his arms crossed over his chest. This must be the longest ten months of his entire life. Was it April yet?

“I don't wanna boy,” he heard Shuichi mumble. “I wanna girl.”

Eiri rolled his eyes. Not this again. “Maybe next time,” he sighed.

Instantly Shuichi's face lit up. He spun back around and clasped his hands together. “Really?”

“Yes, really.” Eiri wrapped his arms around his fiancé and hugged him. He kissed the top of Shuichi’s head. “But for now, let's concentrate on this one and getting married before deciding on a second one, okay?”

“Okay!” Shuichi said happily. He sighed happily and laid his head against Eiri's chest, wrapping his arms around Eiri's waist. “I love you, Eiri.”

A soft smile lit the writer's face. “I know,” he whispered back, tightening his hold.

Once again, Eiri felt eyes on the back of his head. Only this time, a series of muffled click-whirl's accompanied them. He loosened his hold on his fiancé and glanced around, frowning. There were several other shoppers nearby, but none of them seemed to be paying them any particular attention.

“Eiri? What's wrong?”

“Nothing,” Eiri said, distracted, taking a final glance around. He felt very uneasy.

“Alright!” exclaimed Ryuichi.

Shuichi and Eiri turned around and watched as the lead singer of Nittle Grasper dumped an armload of clothes into the shopping cart. Shuichi gaped. “Ryu!”

Ryuichi blinked innocently at Shuichi. “What?” He glanced down at the cart then back up at Shuichi.

“I think you've done more than enough. This is too much!”

A broad grin split Ryuichi's face. “It's never too much!” He grabbed the full cart and took off.

“Ryu!” Shuichi sighed as he watched his big brother vanished around the corner.

“You know, at this rate, we'll have to tell Seguchi to find us a bigger apartment in Tokyo just so we can have room for all the baby stuff,” Eiri said.

Shuichi giggled.

“Speaking of which, have you heard anything about the move?”

“From what Tohma's told us, I guess the remodeling in going faster than expected. Everything should be set for the relocation next fall.”

Suddenly Ryuichi reappeared with a new cart. “Let's go,” he called. “We need to get bottles, formula, more diapers…” His voice trailed off as he disappeared down one of the aisles, still checking off items that his “baby Shu-Shu needed”.

Shuichi's sigh turned into a groan.

“Come on,” Eiri chuckled. He draped an arm around Shuichi's shoulder and steered his exhausted fiancé after his brother.

“Oh,” Shuichi exclaimed as he wrapped an arm around Eiri's waist. “Noriko came by the studio yesterday with her daughter.”

“Really.”

“Oh! Eiri! She's the cutest thing!”

“I bet.”

“She has the cutest laugh! And when she smiles, her whole face lights up!”

“Hm.”

“It's hard to believe that she's 16 weeks already.”

“That's because she's not your kid. It's probably been the longest four months of her entire life.”

“Eiri!” Shuichi scolded. “That's not nice.”

“Just wait, Shu. In three months, you'll understand. You think you’re exhausted now. You won't get any sleep for the next five years.”

Shuichi pouted. “It won't be that bad…Will it?”

Instead of answering, Eiri asked if Shuichi knew anything about Tohma getting Noriko's husband a job in Tokyo. It was one of the stipulations Noriko and her husband made in exchange for them being forced into relocating.

“I think Tohma got him a teaching job at Tokyo University.”

Eiri shook his head. His brother-in-law was something else. There was a saying, “Ask and you shall receive.” That saying definitely applied to Tohma.

They found Ryuichi down one of the aisles loading the cart with wash clothes, more pacifiers, and chew toys.

“For when he starts teething,” Ryuichi explained.

God forbid Eiri thought. That was something he did not want to have to think about yet.

Ryuichi straightened and stared at the cart. “I know there was something…,” he mumbled. Suddenly his eyes lit up. “Oh! Strollers!” He grabbed the cart and raced down the aisle.

Shuichi looked up. “Where're you going?”

“We need to get a stroller and a bassinette!” Ryuichi stopped at the end of the aisle and glanced first one way and then the other, a confused, thoughtful expression on his face. “That way,” he exclaimed, turning the cart to the right. He vanished from view only to reappear seconds later zipping past them, going in the opposite direction.

“Ryu?” Shuichi questioned, watching him.

“Wrong way,” his brother said.

Shuichi giggled, shaking his head.

“Your brother is something else,” Eiri snorted.

“Yeah. A moron.”

“Come on,” Eiri chuckled. He grabbed Shuichi's hand, laced their fingers together and led him out of the shadow-strewn aisle.

Shuichi took no more than half a dozen steps when he stopped suddenly, his hands fluttering to his belly. “Oh!” he exclaimed.

Eiri turned sharply. “What's wrong?”

Stunned, Shuichi looked at Eiri. “He moved.” A smile graced his face. Giggling, Shuichi grabbed his fiancé's hand and placed it on his belly. He studied Eiri's face closely and when the writer's eyes widened momentarily, Shuichi giggled, knowing that he had felt him move as well. “You feel him? You feel him?”

Smirking, Eiri nodded. “Yes.” His breathe hitched as he felt his son kick him. “He's definitely your son, Shuichi.”

Shuichi beamed.

Eiri stared at his hand as he rubbed small circles over Shuichi's belly, smiling softly. He lifted his head and studied the singer tenderly. He reached out with his free hand and cupped the side of Shuichi's face. “I love you, Shu.”

Shuichi's face softened. “I love you, too, Eiri,” he whispered back.

They leaned towards each other at the same time and kissed. It was just a light, gentle brush of lips, but it was more than enough. Pulling back, they stared dreamily into each other's eyes.

From somewhere in the store came a sudden loud crash.

Shuichi and Eiri jumped apart, like guilty lovers. They glanced at one another.

“What the hell was that?” Shuichi asked.

“I'm okay!” came the familiar shout seconds later.

Eiri could not help himself. He burst out laughing.

Shuichi sweat-dropped, his face flushing in embarrassment. “Oh, God,” he moaned.

“Let's go before your brother does anymore damage.”

They walked out of the aisle and towards Shuichi's brother who was trapped in the middle of a sea of boxes. Shuichi sighed shaking his head. And people said _he_ was an idiot.

 

* * *

 

Several very long hours later, Shuichi was in the kitchen sorting through the mail his brother brought over this morning when a light blue envelope caught his attention. Curious, he set aside the rest of the mail and studied the envelope. His name and Ryuichi's address was written in large, blocky script, but there was no return address. He noticed it was postmarked from Kyoto, though. Frowning, he slid his finger under the corner of the flap and ripped it open.

“What's that?”

“Huh?” Shuichi turned and saw Eiri step barefoot into the kitchen, a mug in his hand and his glasses on his face. “I don't know.” He reached inside the blue envelope. “It's a card,” he said, pulling out the blue rectangle.

“Hm. Who's it from?” Eiri walked towards the table, set down his cup, and picked up the envelope, turning it over.

“No idea.” Shuichi read the front of the card aloud. “'To the new mommy-to-be…' Awe! That's so sweet,” he cooed, tears blurring his vision.

Eiri set down the envelope and glanced at his fiancé. Sighing, he rolled his eyes.

Sniffing, Shuichi swiped the back of his hands over his eyes. “Look, Eiri, isn't that cute?” He held up the card and pointed to the white short-sleeved shirt and blue striped overall shorts cut out from velvet-like paper stuck to the middle of the cover. “It looks like one of the outfits Ryu bought.”

“I hope not,” Eiri mumbled.

Ignoring his fiancé, Shuichi opened the card, still grinning. “'…and your bundle of boy. Congratulations'.” He glanced up at Eiri, a renewal of tears in his eyes. “Eiri!”

“Hm.” The writer took the card from him and read it himself. Like the envelope, there was no signature and no indication of who may have sent it. “I wonder who it's from?” he wondered aloud.

Shuichi picked up the envelope and looked it over. Peeking inside, he said, “There's something in here.”

Eiri looked up. “What?”

Reaching inside the envelope, he pulled out a check. “Oh…my…God,” Shuichi whispered in shock. “Eiri…!” He looked up at his partner. “It's…it's from…Dad.”

“What? Your father?”

Shuichi nodded.

Eiri took the check out of Shuichi's shaking hands. His eyes widened when he read how much the check was for. “Holy…!” He exchanged a shocked glance with the singer. He opened his mouth, and then closed it, unable to form any words.

With a sob, Shuichi covered his mouth as tears flowed freely down his face. He could not believe it. He just could not believe it. Crying harder, the pink haired singer, stood up and walked into Eiri's waiting arms. Wrapping his arms around his waist, he buried his face in his crisp white shirt and cried. Maybe his father did not hate him after all.

 

* * *

 

To say the least, Ryuichi was in a state of shock. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it. Shock had rendered him speechless. A first. He tried a second time with the same results. When he felt his legs about to give out, he plopped down in the desk chair he vacated only seconds before. His breath whooshed out in a sigh. Staring at the blinking cursor on the blank computer screen he finally managed to whisper, “Wow.”

In his apartment, Eiri took a deep drag from his cigarette. The tip glowed in the rapidly falling twilight. Turning around, he leaned back against the porch railing and blew out a thin stream of grey smoke. He shivered violently in the chill evening air. He hated winter.

The shock of his brother’s husband over the news was not much of a surprise. It was the same reaction both Shuichi and he had when they opened the card.

It took several tries before Ryuichi was able to speak again. “M-my dad?”

“That's what the check said,” Eiri said to his brother-in-law over the phone. It did not make much sense though. Why would he send an unsigned card, but include a check that clearly had his name printed on it? Mr. Shindou could have just sent cash if he wanted to remain anonymous.

“But…That…I don't…Wow,” the singer managed to say.

Eiri took another drag on his cigarette and watched Shuichi through the closed sliding glass doors as he slept on the couch in front of the television, the glow from the TV played across his face. He smirked as in his sleep Shuichi tossed and turned before settling back down with a contented sigh, a protective hand over his bulging stomach.

“That…just doesn't…,” came Ryuichi's voice snapping him out of his musings. The older singer sighed. “I mean…” He sighed again, raking his fingers through his hair. “I didn't think he'd do something like that, ya know? I mean, it just doesn't…seem like him. I don't know. It's just a shock, I guess. I mean, I told Shuichi that Dad might come around one day, but…I didn't really think…”

“Then it's not just me.”

Ryuichi blinked. “Huh?”

Eiri took a final drag of his cigarette and tossed it on the ground, grinding it out with the heel of his shoe as he told the man about his suspicions.

“Hmm.” Ryuichi pushed away from his desk and walked across the room to stare blankly out the window. “Well,” he said slowly. “I almost hate to say this, but it's possible that, well, Dad didn't send the check.”

“What do you mean?” Eiri demanded.

“Well,” Ryuichi drawled. He walked back to his desk and sat down with a grunted sigh. “Ma and Dad have a joint account, but it's in his name. Well, actually, technically it's his account, but Ma uses it too.”

“That's stupid.”

Ryuichi shrugged. “I know, but…” He sighed. “I mean, Ma takes care of all the bills. She's a math wiz.”

Eiri cocked an eyebrow. “Are you sure she's Shuichi's mother?”

Ryuichi laughed. It sounded a little forced.

“Okay. So, your mother takes care of all the bills, but…it was your father's signature on that check.”

“Hm, yes. He'd have to sign them since the account’s in his name and he usually doesn't look at what he's signing. Ma writes the checks and gives them to Dad to sign.”

The wheels in Eiri's mind started spinning. “So…That means that your mother might have sent us that check.”

“It's possible…but what about the card?”

“Maybe your father sent the card. That would explain why there's no signature.”

Ryuichi nodded slowly. “So then…”

“She could've seen the card and tricked him into signing that check which she included in the card.”

“I guess.” Ryuichi sighed and sagged down in the chair, resting his head against the back of the chair. “It seems too...I don't know… tricky?”

“…Well,” Eiri said, “I guess it doesn't really matter. It made Shuichi happy to realize that his folks might not hate him after all.” He turned around and stared into the apartment. A soft, gentle smile crossed his face when his gaze landed on his sleeping fiancé. “It's all that really matters,” he whispered.

 

* * *

 

**The Next Morning**

It was the wee hours of the morning when a truck pulled up in front of the dark convenience store. The driver cut the engine and grabbed his clipboard. He went down the list until he found the store and checked to see the quantity he was to deliver. Then he stepped onto the sidewalk and walked around to the back of his truck. Sliding open the back door, he lifted himself into the truck, grabbed several bundles of stacked newspapers and walked up to the store, stacking them before the door. He then walked back to his truck, shut and locked the back door and slid back behind the wheel. He started the engine and pulled into traffic, vanishing down the street as he headed towards his next stop.

 

* * *

 

A man half an hour later was walking past the convenience store. He glanced briefly at the stack of papers. The brown paper wrapped around one of the bundles had come loose and the picture revealed caught his attention. Curious, he bent over and carefully wiggled the top one out of the stack. He held the paper up to the light and glanced over the article. His eyes bugged out of his head. “Oh, shit,” he commented. Folding the paper under his arm, he grabbed his cellphone and speed dialed his boss's number.

 

* * *

 

Tohma stared at the glowing red numbers without really taking them in. Sighing, he flipped onto his back, draping an arm across his brow and glanced up at the ceiling. Dropping his arm, he turned his head to glance at his sleeping wife. She was curled up on her side, her back to him, under mounds of blankets. Only the top of her head was visible.

Suddenly, the silence of the apartment was shattered by an unnaturally loud ringing that caused Tohma's heart to leap out of his chest, though outwardly it appeared not to have had any effect on him. The phone rang again. Not wanting it to wake up his wife, he sat up, tossed back the covers and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Standing up, he reached for the phone on the nightstand, cutting it off mid-ring. “Hello,” he said quietly.

“Mr. Seguchi? This's Jonouchi, Sir.”

“Jonouchi. What can I do for you?” He glanced at the alarm clock. “You do realize what time it is.”

“Yes sir and I do apologize, but…We may have a problem.”

Tohma raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And what problem would we have at five o'clock in the morning?”

“Uhm, well…It has to do with your brother-in-law.”

No more needed to be said. Tohma's face faltered. He felt the floor drop out underneath him as he flopped back down onto the bed. This was bound to happen eventually. He was just surprised it had taken this long.

“Sir?” came Jonouchi's voice, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Call Katsuhiko, Tomino and Ohkawara,” he ordered. “I'll meet you at NG in an hour.”

“Yes sir.”

Cradling the phone, Tohma dropped his head in his hands with a sigh. He felt the bed shift behind him.

“Tohma,” his wife called softly. “Who was that? What's going on?”

Lifting his head, Tohma dropped his hands and turned around to face his wife. She had a worried expression on her face.

 

* * *

 

Golden hazel eyes snapped open to stare blankly into the veil of darkness that enveloped the bedroom. A hazy fog encased the mind behind them.

Eiri wondered briefly where he was and what was going on before his eyelids grew heavy and fluttered shut. It seemed like only seconds later when his eyes snapped back open at the sudden pounding that echoed unexpectedly through the apartment, shattering the stillness.

Eiri stared up at the ceiling blankly, trying to focus. When the knocking came again, he turned his head to the side and glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand by Shuichi's side of the bed. He frowned, unable to comprehend or make sense of the red numbers glowing brightly back at him. When the fog surrounding his brain finally lifted, he growled. It was not even five-thirty in the morning! Whoever was at the door was going to get their asses kicked. He stared at the door, suddenly wide-awake as the knocking reverberated through the apartment for a third time, sounding unnaturally loud in the silence of the apartment.

Besides him, Shuichi groaned and began to stir. He heard the rustle of sheets. “Whazzat?” came the barely coherent voice behind him.

Eiri swore under his breath. “It's nothing, Shuichi. Just go back to sleep.” Leaning over, he brushed their lips together. As he straightened, Shuichi mumbled something he could not decipher, before turning over and falling back to sleep. As Eiri watched the kid sleep, his face softened. God, how had he gotten so lucky?

That annoyingly persistent knocking once again sounded, snapping Eiri out of his ministrations. Grumbling, he stood up and made his way blindly to the bedroom door. It took everything he had not to stomp his feet as if he was six years old. He also had to quell the urge to rip the door off its hinges. Instead, he quietly opened and shut the bedroom door behind him. Eiri continued to grumble irately as he padded barefoot through the cold apartment to the front door.

He glanced through the peephole and cursed soundly. Slipping the chain back, he turned the dead bolt and threw open the door. “What the hell are you doing here?” he roared angrily. “Do you realize what time it is? Most normal people are sleeping at five-thirty in the morning.”

Tohma took in his brother-in-law's appearance. Eiri was wearing only a pair of flannel pajama bottoms that were riding low on his hips, and his blond hair was mussed. “I never realized just how sexy you were, Eiri. I must say, I envy Shuichi.”

Eiri sneered. He had the urge to slam the door in his brother-in-laws face. “If all you did was come here to-”

“Can't take a compliment can you, Eiri?”

Eiri growled warningly. He was in no mood for the shit. It was too early.

Tohma sighed, shaking his sadly. “Are you always this moody?”

“What do you think?” Eiri barked. “It's five-thirty in the freaking morning. Now, was there a point to this visit?”

Tohma's expression suddenly became serious.

Eiri caught the change instantly.

“Actually, there is. There is something I need to discuss with both you and Shuichi.” He reached inside his coat and pulled out a rolled up newspaper.

“What's this?” Eiri asked, taking it.

“Remember when you told me yesterday that you thought you were being watched?”

“Yeah,” Eiri drawled.

“Well, it seems you were right.”

Eiri could only blink at the older man. What was he talking about? He turned and walked into the living room. Behind him, he heard the front door shut with a muffled click. Eiri walked over to the couch and flicked on the lamp. He unfolded the paper and held it out at arms length, holding it in the light. It would be better if he had his glasses, but he did not feel like trekking all the way to the bedroom. Squinting, he read the headline. At first he did not understand what it was he was reading. The second time, he got that it was about Shuichi and him. The third time he read the headline, he understood that when Ryuichi took Shuichi and him shopping yesterday, someone from the press spotted them. The forth time he read it, Eiri understood that they were in deep shit.

Tohma watched his brother-in-law closely for any reaction, but the blond writer's face retained the same impassive expression.

“Eiri?” came the timid voice.

Tohma glanced over his shoulder and Eiri lifted his head and saw Shuichi standing in the hallway in a long, billowing flannel nightgown. The boy yawned, rubbing his eyes.

“Shuichi, what're you doing up?”

“You weren't in bed and I got scared,” the boy admitted. Dropping his arm, Shuichi blinked heavy, gritty eyes and looked up, noticing Tohma for the first time. He blinked in confusion. “What's going on?”

Eiri held up the paper.

“What's that?” Frowning, Shuichi waddled into the living room and took the paper out of his lover's hands. He scooted towards the lamp and tipped the paper towards the light. “'Author Eiri Yuki Caught with Underaged Lover',” he read aloud. Underneath the caption was a picture of the two of them from yesterday from when they were at the department store with Ryuichi doing some shopping for the baby. In the photo, the two of them were holding hands as they followed Ryuichi through the parking lot. His frown deepening, Shuichi glanced up at his betrothed. “I don't understand.”

Eiri yanked the paper out of Shuichi's hands. “It means our secret is not a secret any longer.”

Shuichi blinked stupidly for several long seconds. He did not understand. His mind was a jumbled mess and nothing was making any sense. Their secret? What was he talking about? He stared down at the black and white grainy photo blankly. Their secret was no longer secret. That meant that it was public knowledge then right? But what was-?

“Oh, God!” he cried out in panic as it hit him upside the head.

The paper rustled as his hands began shaking. The color drained out of his face and his eyes bulged out of his head. He was all too aware of the risks involved with becoming sexually involved with Eiri. He, being only sixteen, was technically still a minor and Eiri, being twenty-two, would be in very serious trouble if it ever got out that he was having sex with someone under the age of seventeen. Shuichi loved Eiri with all his heart and did not want to get him into any trouble. Things had been going so well that he guessed they all just slacked off and now they were paying the price for that. Did that mean that Eiri would be…? Would he be taken away from him?

“No!” he shouted in panic and alarm.

Eiri and Tohma jumped in unison.

“Shuichi?”

“No!” Shuichi cried again. He threw himself at his future husband with a sob, knocking the writer off balance. He hugged Eiri tightly as tears coursed down his face. “You can't!” he wept.

Eiri blinked in confusion and surprise at Shuichi's outburst. He wrapped his arms loosely around Shuichi's shoulders as he regained his balance. “Can't what, Shuichi?” he asked the boy gently.

Shuichi shook his head vigorously. Lifting his head, he glanced up at him through his tears. His face was flushed. His wet cheeks glistened in the lamp light. “Leave me!” he cried. Shuichi squeezed his eyes shut. Fisting his hands, he pounded Eiri's chest. “You promised! You promised,” he echoed himself softly. “I won't let you go!” He sobbed. “I can't do this by myself,” he wept quietly. “I know being with me is dangerous,” he continued. “I know the consequences and I hate that I'm the reason…I never wanted to cause you any trouble, but, but I won't let you leave me! I don't want to be left all alone!” he sobbed.

Eiri lifted his head and exchanged a sympathetic look with Tohma. Tightening his hold on the mother of his child, Eiri rested his chin on the top of the singer’s head. “You won't have to be,” he whispered.

Shuichi sniffed and tightened his hold.

“And you've never caused me any trouble,” Eiri continued. “I'm with you because I want to be and if that means having to go to prison, then so be it,” he admitted. “I love you, Shuichi Shindou and I don't care who knows it. I want us to be a family. I'm not going anywhere.” He buried his face in his lover's hair.

With a sob, Shuichi buried his wet face against Eiri's chest.

“Don't worry, Shuichi,” Tohma reassured the boy. “I promise you that everything will be okay. Nobody will take you away from Eiri or Eiri away from you.”

Eiri lifted his head and looked at his brother-in-law. What was he up to? What was he scheming?

Shuichi turned his head and stared at his old friend through his tears.

The sudden shrill ringing of a phone shattered the silence that had fallen around them. Tohma reached into his coat and pulled out his cellphone. “Yes,” he said curtly. “…Good. I'll be there in,” he glanced at his watch, “fifteen minutes. In the meantime, bring them up to speed.” He snapped his phone shut and glanced up at his brother-in-law and his fiancé. “I want the two of you at NG by eight. I'll explain everything then.”

“We'll be there,” Eiri said with a nod.

Shuichi nodded in agreement.

“Good.” The man tipped his head and melted into the shadows of the hallway. A silent click informed them that the man had left.

Feelings eyes on him, Eiri glanced down at his young lover. Shuichi was looking up at him with those wide, puppy god eyes. He felt himself melting underneath that gaze. He was so whipped. “What?”

Shuichi glanced towards the front door. “Do you think everything will be alright?” He looked back up at him, his round violet eyes pleading with him to tell him just that.

Eiri smirked and pulled Shuichi into a hug. He kissed the top of his head. “Yes, Shuichi. I do.” He was not sure, if he truly believed that or if he had just fooled himself into believing it. What he did know was that he wanted it to be true.

 

* * *

 

**Several Hours Later**

The door to the conference room opened and Shuichi waddled inside with his fiancé and boss right behind him. He walked over to the nearest chair, pulled it out and sank down into it gratefully. Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes and sighed, silently thanking God that was over with. He had never been so exhausted before in his life. Speaking with the press was more tiring than being pregnant. They were never satisfied.

“Well,” Tohma said as he walked around to the head of the table. “I think that went rather well.”

Eiri snorted from his seat besides Shuichi. “They're like a pack of ravenous wolves. I wish they'd mind their own business.”

“You can't blame them, Eiri. This is the juiciest piece of news they've had for quite some time.”

“That just means they have such pathetic little lives and too much time on their hands.”

Tohma conceded the point with a smile. “Be that as it may, Eiri, you have to look at it from their point of view. To the press and to your fans you are known as a stoic, cold, heartless bachelor who avoids commitment and relationships like the plague.”

Shuichi smirked and snorted at that. His blond writer had them all fooled.

Eiri glared at the boy.

Tohma gave a smirk of his own. “Then it comes to their attention that you are involved with someone. Shock number one. Not only are you dating someone, this ‘someone' is a neutral. Shock number two. Shock three, they find out, this neutral is pregnant. Then the grand finale comes when they learn this pregnant neutral is no more than a boy, a minor.”

Eiri sighed and rolled his eyes. That just went to show how pathetic their sorry little lives actually were.

Shuichi opened his eyes and glanced at Eiri with a heavy heart. “I'm sorry about what they said, Eiri. About you being a pervert and child molester.”

Eiri shrugged. Truth be known, it hurt, but he could see where they would think that.

Tohma quickly diffused that situation by announcing that Eiri and Shuichi did not have a sexual relationship. It was a lie of course, but given the alternative, it was a lie they were all willing to live with. Of course, the press did not buy it because Shuichi was clearly pregnant. Unless the baby was conceived immaculately, it was obvious that the two of them did indeed have a sexual relationship.

Once again, Tohma came to the rescue. He explained the father of Shuichi's unborn child was Taki Aizawa, Shuichi's ex-boyfriend. The couple broke up and Shuichi started dating Eiri before Shuichi realized he was pregnant. Then, unfortunately, Aizawa died in a car accident shortly after finding out he was to be a father. And with the permission of the Aizawa family, Eiri planned on adopting the child and raising it as his own. It was not exactly the truth, but neither was it a lie. Thankfully, the press bought it hook, line and sinker…most of them anyway.

There was one woman who could not leave well enough alone. She made the comment that it was “awfully convenient that this ‘supposed ex-boyfriend’ just happens to be dead”.

Then there was a man who worked for one of the country's top music magazines. He asked why Eiri, a famous romance writer who could have any girl he pleased, would choose to be with a sixteen-year-old neutral and raise a child that was not his.

 _“Have you ever been in love before, Mr. Fujiwara?”_ Tohma had asked the reporter.

_“Well, yes, sir, I have.”_

_“And would you do anything for that person?”_

_“Of course.”_

Tohma spread his hands out as the man answered his own question. _“There's your answer.”_

But of course, that woman from earlier who could not let sleeping dogs lie had to add another two cents. _“Do you really think that them not having a sexual relationship makes it alright for them to be involved? Mr. Shindou is still a minor.”_

 _“Shuichi’s sixteen. He’ll become of age in April and then it’ll no longer be an issue. Eiri, though we tend to forget, is only twenty-two. Besides, we all grew up together and Shuichi's guardians know and trust Eiri and have supported and allowed their courtship. They have set strict rules and guidelines,”_ Tohma added. _“They even granted Eiri permission to marry Shuichi.”_

“I think what shocked them the most,” Tohma said, “was finding out that you were finally settling down, getting married and having a baby.”

Eiri snorted. “They can get in line behind me.”

“I think you broke a lot of hearts today, Eiri.”

Eiri smirked devilishly.

“But,” Tohma continued, his tone becoming serious, “I did not like that woman. If we are not careful, she could cause a lot of trouble for all of us.”

Eiri stared at his brother-in-law. He did not even have to ask whom he was talking about.

_“Shindou's family my approve of their relationship, Mr. Seguchi, and you may trust Mr. Yuki with him, but in the end it all comes down to Mr. Shindou being only sixteen years old.”_

“We will have to keep an eye on her.”

Eiri narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips. If that woman continued to stir up trouble, he would personally deal with her.

“And Shuichi,” Tohma continued, turning towards the young singer, “I know you wanted to keep your relation to Ryuichi quiet.”

Shuichi nodded. It was not that he was embarrassed or humiliated to have the Ryuichi Sakuma as his brother. It was the opposite in fact. He was proud Ryuichi was his brother. He looked up to him. He loved him and idolized him. His brother was his god. It was just that he wanted people to love Bad Luck for Bad Luck and not because the lead singer was the younger brother of Ryuichi Sakuma, the lead singer of Nittle Grasper. He did not want that to influence how people looked at Bad Luck or judged them.

Tohma looked pointedly at the boy. “Knowing that you are Ryu's younger brother will cause a surge of interest in Bad Luck. The public will be demanding a lot from you. They will be comparing you to your brother.”

Shuichi felt his heart sink at that. He had figured as much.

“For that I am sorry.”

Shuichi nodded, staring at his hands clasped over his pregnant belly. So was he. Putting out an album that would appeal and capture the attention of the public was stressful, taxing and demanding to begin with. It was a hit or miss situation and they did not need the extra pressure of being compared to a super group like Nittle Grasper. There just was no comparison. It was a battle nobody could win.

“But in the end, I believe the fact that Ryuichi is your brother will have nothing to do with whether Bad Luck makes it in the music business or not. It will come down to talent pure and simple. If they think you are terrible, it won't matter if you're Ryu's little brother or the President of the Galactic Empire.”

Despite the very real threat that Bad Luck might not be even worthy enough to qualify as dirt on the floor underneath the pedestal that Nittle Grasper sat on, Shuichi giggled.

“Bad Luck will vanish before they even arrive.”

His smiling slipping, Shuichi stared his boss dead in the eye. “You think so?”

Tohma stared right back at the boy. “I do.”

Shuichi smiled brightly. “Thanks, Tohma.”

“I'm counting on you, Shuichi. I'm counting on all of you. Don't make me regret my decision.”

“You won't,” Shuichi said seriously.

“I hope not.”

Shuichi stared down at his hands that were unconsciously rubbing his belly. Suddenly he was very nervous about the album, the baby, and his relationship with Eiri.

Eiri draped an arm around Shuichi's shoulders and played with the ends of his hair. The kid needed to get a haircut he noticed.

“Thanks, Tohma,” Shuichi said, breaking the silence. “For everything.”

Tohma gave the boy a true smile and inclined his head. “You're very welcome, Shuichi.”

Eiri removed his arm and grabbed Shuichi's hand, lacing their fingers together. Shuichi turned his head and smiled warmly at him. Unable to help himself, Eiri leaned over and brushed their lips together. “I love you,” he whispered, pulling back.

“I love you, too,” Shuichi whispered back.

As Eiri leaned forward to steal another kiss, Shuichi at the last minute pulled back. “Shuichi?” Eiri asked confused and concerned.

“Uhm, Eiri?” Shuichi blushed and lowered his head. His free hand played the ends of his shirt.

“What?” he asked cautiously.

“Uhm, do you think, uhm, we could…”

Eiri watched his lover with an eyebrow cocked. “Could we what?”

“Could we go to, uhm…”

“Go where?” he asked carefully through narrowed eyes.

Shuichi took a deep breath. “I…wanttogotoNewYork,” he rushed out.

Eiri blinked as he tried to sort through the mumbled, jumbled mass. “What about New York?”

“I want to go.”

“You want to go to New York?” he repeated slowly.

Shuichi bit his lips and nodded, still not looking at Eiri.

Tohma just said back and watched the interplay in amusement.

Eiri stared at his fiancé hard for several long silent seconds. Then, “No.”

Disappointment swirled through Shuichi. He gasped and snapped his head up and around. “Why not?” he whined.

“Because I said so.”

“Eiri,” Shuichi whined.

Eiri shook his head. “No, Shuichi.”

“Eiri! Please! I wanna go!” Shuichi stared at his boyfriend with his trademark chibi expression.

He felt his eye twitch. Damn that expression! It got him every time! Against his better judgment, he felt himself caving in. He heaved a heavy sigh. Tearing his eyes away from those large, tear filled violet beauties and trembling lower lip, Eiri sank back in the leather seat. “Why do you want to go to New York?”

Shuichi brightened immediately. He smiled and bounced in his seat. “Because I want to see that neutral exhibit.”

Eiri sighed again and massaged his throbbing temples. “You want to fly _all the way_ to New York just so you can go to a museum to see an exhibit that you can see in any museum here in Japan?” He could not believe him.

“Eiri,” Shuichi scolded, “it's not just any museum and it's not just any exhibit.”

“Really.”

Eiri turned his head and gazed at the singer. Shuichi had his arms crossed over his chest and was glaring angrily at him. Eiri sighed, feeling suddenly exhausted. Shuichi was frowning at him as if Eiri should have known that was why he wanted to fly halfway around the world. Once again, Eiri could not help but wonder if it was April yet.

“I want to go to New York and see that manuscript they found,” Shuichi stated firmly.

Ah! So that was it.

“Fine,” Eiri sighed. Wait, what did he just say? He groaned inwardly. Dammit all to hell. He really was wrapped around the kid's finger. Eiri opened eyes he had not realized he had closed and glared at Tohma who had chuckled lightly. He knew exactly what the man was thinking.

“Yes!” Shuichi cried, throwing his hands in the air. “How soon can we go?”

Eiri blinked. “What? How soon?”

Shuichi, grinning like a madman, nodded enthusiastically.

“Shuichi, in case you forgot, you're six months pregnant. You're in the middle of doing an album-”

“I wanna go now!” Shuichi bellowed, stomping his foot.

“Shuichi,” Eiri warned . His headache was getting worse and he was in desperate need of a cigarette.

“Now!”

“No.”

“Yes!”

As his brother-in-law and his fiancé continued to argue, Tohma sat back in his seat and watched them bicker back and forth. It was like a tennis match and he loved every second of it.

 

**…To Be Continued…**


	10. On the Street of Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inserts: Section from “The Boy Named Sara: Rise of the Neutrals”, Edited by Nova Williams

* * *

 

**Chapter 10: On The Street of Dreams**

**Three Months Later - New York City, Smithsonian**

_Then, since I heard from Eric what his first impression of Sara was, I wondered what Sara’s first impression of Eric was._

_“Hank signaled me down and said I had a customer. When he pointed out Eric, the first thing I noticed about him was his guns, twin peacemakers in a black finish.”_

_Which just happened to be the same make and model used by Sara’s father used to run him out of town and halfway across the country._

_“He is a lot like Hank, a giant among men. I tell you, I have never seen so many tall people in my life than I have in the short time I have been living out here. There must be something in the water. Even in heels, I barely come up to his shoulders.”_

_Even now, I chuckle because I was the exact same way when Harold and I moved here from New York. My Harold was no more than five-foot-nine-inches tall, I am five-foot-four-inches in height, and more than three-quarters of the people living here (before they all fled) were close to six feet tall. It’s enough to give a poor soul a permanent crick in her neck._

_“And his hair! The exact shade of the yellow daffodils my mama loved so much. And of course he was wearing the same outfit every other guy in the western half of the United States was wearing, a white four-button pullover shirt with a high, rounded collar under a black suede vest and matching floor length trail duster, under which I could see a double-tooled black holster with his twin peacemakers. His thick, tree trunk legs were encased in matching black pants and spurred boots that looked as if they needed a good spit and polish. A black hat sat on the table in front of him.”_

_With the intense way Eric kept staring at her, Sara got a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach._

_“He stood up as I approached. That’s never happened before.”_

_Ever the gentlemen._

_Sara led Eric back to her room where things got a little hot and heavy._

_“And then it happened.”_

_Even now I wince at the reminder of how time and again those who perused Sara’s services beat Sara nearly to death after discovering a jimmy and not a jane under the skirt, but since he came to work for Hank, those type of incidents were far and few between. Hank took very good care of his girls. He put up with nothing from anybody._

_I dreaded learning what transpired between the two when Eric was suddenly hit with the unwanted answer to the question he should have asked of Hank._

_“When I felt her up under her skirts and discovered something that should not be there, at first, I was furious.”_

_And who wouldn’t be? Though Sara was born a boy (for the most part), his father had been right on when he accused his son of being too effeminate looking. Sara was more beautiful than any naturally born woman I have ever seen._

_Even after all of these years later, Sara’s face clouds with shame. “If I would’ve known that Eric hadn’t been told what I was, I never would have--I would have refused to take him my bed. This was the very scenario that I had been hoping to avoid when I agreed to come work for Hank, but here we were.”_

_Sara secretly told me that Eric’s initial reaction hurt more than he has let on to his husband. “I was really in love with him and to have him reject me…” By this point, he was sobbing quietly. “It hurt worse than when Father proclaimed that his son had died.”_

_I cannot imagine being rejected like that._

_“I knew that Hank refused to give refunds, but I didn‘t like how he had deceived Eric like that, how he’d put me in danger like that. What if Eric had been like the countless other men? Hank has told me on more than one occasion that his business has tripled since I came to work for him, so it’s not as if he could just get some girl off the street to replace me if I were to die at the hands of one of these men who don’t appreciate find a jimmy in his bed. So I decided that I was going to try to talk Hank into giving Eric his money back and if that didn’t work, I was going to pay Eric back using my own money, but as I went to get up, Eric grabbed me.”_

_What was going on in that man’s head, I wondered?_

_It seemed that Sara had been mistaken. He had not been rejected after all._

_“I didn’t understand it myself. I still don’t, but…”_

_Strangely, Eric was not disgusted or humiliated by the sight that had greeted him as he had lifted up that skirt. What was even more confusing, was that he did not want this strange he-she male to walk out that door. A flash of her standing on the second floor landing looking over the crowded saloon flashed in his mind and all those feelings returned. No, he had been attracted to her from that very second. Learning she was really a he, strangely enough, did not dampen those feelings or the strong sexual desire he felt. If anything, it only added to it._

_“I was shocked! I mean, he’d paid for a woman and I clearly am not a woman, not really anyway, and he says, ‘I paid for someone I was instantly attracted to.’”_

_Sara has a knack for impersonations. He can imitate anybody he has ever spoken to or least heard speak and the ones I have heard were all spot on._

_Blushing, Sara said, “From that day on I was ‘Eric’s girl’.”_

_Several months later, Sara returned to my clinic complaining of nausea and fatigue. Not only was this my first introduction to the silently brooding and ruggedly handsome Eric, but it was also the day I learned the truth about Sara._

_Everything changed with that visit. The couple learned they were pregnant with their first child and I learned that Sara was not in fact Sara, nor was he Stephen for that matter, so what does that make him? Her?_

_Sara said it best when she said, “I’ve always gone by Sara, from as far back as I can remember. My sister gave it to me one day when we were playing Tea. I fell in love with it instantly. From that day forward, I was Sara. There was a name, an appropriately masculine name, my parents gave me upon my birth, yes, but I never considered it my name. I always despised it. It was like acting out a part in a play. It was just a role, nothing more. Besides, that person, the ‘son’ my parents longed for is dead. In fact, from my point of view, he was never even conceived. For my father, his son died the day he kicked him out of the house. I told Father that was fine because to me, he died the day my mother was found in the garden.”_

_Whatever Sara is, though he was not a true woman, she considers herself more a woman than a man._

_Either way, she has become one my best friends and I love her and my nieces and nephews dearly._

Shuichi straightened and sighed happily as he stared dreamily into space, his violet eyes glistening with tears. “That was so cool,” he cooed.

Eiri snorted and rolled his eyes.

“I understand the pain of rejection by your own father,” Shuichi was saying with an intense look on his face. “Sara must've been so scared and lonely when her father kicked her out! Then have to become a prostitute in order to make a living?”

“Hn.” Oddly enough, Sara's story was similar to Shuichi's. If you switched “Sara” with “Shuichi” and relocated it in modern Japan, it would be as if you were reading about Shuichi's life. “It all turned out okay in the end, though,” he reminded the kid.

Shuichi's dreamy expression returned. His violet eyes sparkled. “I love the part where Eric fell in love with Sara and did not care that she turned out to be a guy.” He sighed dreamily. “That was so sweet!” Shuichi turned towards Eiri with hearts in his eyes. “Don't you think so, Eiri?”

Eiri rolled his eyes and walked away to check out the others objects on exhibit. “Sure.”

They were in the Smithsonian National Museum in New York City on a two-week vacation before their baby was due. It was hard to go sight seeing and do all the other things the once energetic singer wanted to do because Shuichi was nearly nine months pregnant and as big as a house. Though if you told him that, Shuichi would burst into tears and claim you--meaning Eiri--did not love him and that he--Shuichi--was nothing more than a burden. Frankly, Eiri could not wait until Shuichi had the baby. Getting up every two hours to feed the baby was a lot better than putting up with the roller coaster ride of Shuichi's emotions.

Shuichi was slower than a snail and hobbled around like a knocked up penguin. The get-up-and-go-act-now-and-think-later kid who acted like someone with ADHD on a sugar high was gone. Well, not gone. That overly energetic demeanor of his was still there in all its fine glory. Shuichi just could no longer act upon it. He could no longer bounce off the walls, jump around or fling himself at people--meaning Eiri. Hell, Shuichi could not even pick himself up off the couch. Under ordinary circumstances, he would force the boy to do some walking in order to take in the sights of the city, seeing as Shuichi had only been to NYC one other time before, but with him being as pregnant as he was, Shuichi could not take one-step without becoming winded and whining that he needed a break. Why they decided to come on vacation now, when Shuichi could go into labor any moment, despite all the warning and advice from his doctor and their family and friends was beyond him. It had been a stupid bone headed move. He should have just handcuffed the baka to the bed.

The room they were in at the museum was dedicated to Eric and Sara, the couple from the manuscript that was found at an estate sale back in the sixties. Sara was a very important person to history. She was the first documented neutral, though she was by far the very first neutral ever born, but she was the reason why instead of hiding and pretending they were something they were not, neutrals have become what they are now, an accepted and established third sex within society.

In the center of the room was the actual manuscript from which Shuichi had just been reading an excerpt. The handwriting was nothing more than chicken scratch and was faded in spots. It looked as if something had spilled on it at one point, portions looked as if something had been nibbling on it. There were long segments crossed out, lines or words scribbled out and things squeezed in wherever there was room. The brittle, yellowed pages were also filled with proofreader marks. It all made for an almost illegible read, but despite the obvious first draft version of the story, it told of the daily life and struggle of a couple who fell in love despite all the obstacles in their path. Edited and cleaned up versions of the manuscript were sold at the souvenir shop. Shuichi already told him he wanted one.

Behind glass-fronted cases along the walls, were artifacts said to have been used by or belonged to the couple. Among them were plain wooden handled hairbrushes and toothbrushes with their bristles sticking out at odd angels. There was a hand mirror of gold with a matching comb and brush that seemed to be in perfect condition, though the glass in the mirror seemed to be a bit distorted.

Hanging in one case was a patched work quilt Sara worked on for her first child, a daughter she named Twila. The quilt was just patches of old clothes and bits of other blankets sewn together with intricate designs stitched into it. It looked as if it had taken some time to complete.

In another case, opposite the door, were clothes circa mid-1800. A plaque claimed these were the same outfits the couple wore when they first met. There was a white garter belt with a pink ribbon woven through the middle, a black choker that appeared to be made of velvet, black fishnet stockings and heeled ankle boots. The dress was an off the shoulder purple and black lace dress so small Eiri had a hard time imagining anyone wearing it. The waist alone was no bigger than his hand. Then he remembered just how small Shuichi was--well, had been before he got pregnant--then he could very well imagine Sara in it.

When Shuichi first started to complain about how his clothes were becoming too tight, Eiri gawped at him.

_Eiri rolled his eyes with a deep sigh. “Shuichi Shindou, if you turn sideways you fucking disappear. You're not fat.”_

Eiri smiled at the memory. Many pregnant women he knew tried to hide the fact they were pregnant, or at least tried to make it less obvious. They always tried to down play it, but not Shuichi. He gained at least fifty pounds during this pregnancy and was proud of it and his child. He flaunted his pregnancy as if it was a medal. It was amazing.

Still smiling, Eiri checked out the outfit next to the velvet and lace dress. It was a white four-button pullover shirt with a high, rounded collar under a black suede vest and matching floor length trail duster. There was a pair of straight-legged black pants and spurred boots. A black hat and a double-tooled black holster with twin peacemakers in a black finish finished the outfit. The guns were what captured his attention. From what he knew of this Eric guy, he had been a notorious outlaw. The price on his head had been bigger than all the other bounties combined, but one day he virtually disappeared. Now, he knew why.

Pictures of the couple showed them in said outfits. Eric was definitely a rough looking guy. He had the look of the clichéd badass. Sara was so small and delicate looking in comparison. She seemed to virtually disappear as she stood next to the American football player looking Eric.

“Holy crap,” came Shuichi's stunned gasp in his ear.

Eiri jumped, startled. He had been so engrossed in the artifacts he had not heard Shuichi waddle up behind him, which was saying something because trying to ignore the kid was like trying to ignore a dinosaur.

Shuichi hooked his arm through Eiri's and gaped at the pictures as Eiri tried to slow his racing heart. “He looks like you, Eiri!” He looked from the picture to his lover and back. He blinked in surprise. “Wow! It's like looking at one of those pictures that you get at amusement parks where you dress up in old fashioned clothes!”

Eiri nodded. He had seen the similarities. It was like looking in a mirror. It was said there was Caucasian blood somewhere in his mother's bloodline. Could Eric and Sara be…? Eiri shook his head. Ridiculous. It did not matter if you were half-blooded or a quarter-blooded. The Asian gene was the dominate gene and anybody who knew anything about genetics knew that babies born with any amount of Asian blood in their veins looked pure Asian. But then again there was that story not too long ago about this couple who had twin baby girls. One of the babies was white and the other was black. This was not another story of a mix up at the hospital in the fertility lab. This happened because both of the twin girls’ parents came from interracial families. Apparently, it was a rarity for something like this to happen, but it did get Eiri to thinking. If the gene was there, who was to say that it might not just come out? Just because it was not dominate, did not mean that it rolled over and played dead. So, it was a possibility, slight, but it was there nonetheless.

There were a dozen pictures in all. They showed the progression and changes that the couple underwent. Apparently, they had at least six children, five girls and one boy. All the girls looked like their mother and the son, who was the youngest, looked like a miniature version of his father. Eiri wondered if any of the children were neutrals. Whether any of the six children were neutrals or not, they seemed like a very happy family. Eiri envied them. He hoped that he and Shuichi had just as long and happy a life together.

As Eiri studied the pictures for a bit longer, Shuichi unhooked himself from his fiancé and went to look at something across the room that caught his attention. It looked like handcuffs, a couple of guns, a riffle and some old pieces of parchment.

He was halfway across the exhibit room when a sharp pain jolted through his body. With a gasp, he doubled over and grabbed his belly. His free hand slapped onto the nearest flat surface, which happened to be the case holding the brittle manuscript. He hissed and squeezed his eyes shut tight against the intense pain coursing through him. It felt like someone was scooping his insides out with a sharp edged shovel.

“Dammit,” he hissed.

He and Eiri had arrived at La Guardia airport about a week and a half ago. They were scheduled to leave for Japan the day after tomorrow. Everyone had been against this trip because it had been scheduled so close to his due date, but he had this over whelming urge to come here to NYC to see this exhibit. He could not explain it. It was something he just had to do. And all he had to do was look at Eiri with those puppy dog eyes, pout a little and do that thing with his lip…and Eiri caved in just as he always did.

But of course, if Eiri knew that before their plane even left Japan, he started having contractions; Eiri would have pulled the plug on their vacation, which was one of the reasons why Shuichi said nothing. Another reason came from what he had been told by his doctor; that it was natural to have contractions for weeks before you went into labor. So, if this was natural, why worry about it then?

He should have.

He has been having contractions all morning and they seemed different somehow from the ones he has been having for the past couple of weeks. He had a feeling little Takanori did not want to wait another couple of weeks to make his appearance into the world. He was impatient, stubborn and wanted things done his way…He was just like his mama. But Shuichi was determined to see this exhibit before he said anything to Eiri.

Shuichi sighed in relief as the pain faded away.

He glanced over his shoulder at Eiri. The writer moved on to look at something else. It looked like gadgets and weird contraptions. The only thing that looked remotely familiar was a teakettle.

Taking a deep breath, Shuichi walked over to the case that caught his attention earlier and saw yellowed sheets of paper. At the top of the paper, above a rough sketch of who looked similar to Eric, was written the word, “WANTED” in giant black letters.

“Wow,” Shuichi said as he read what the man was wanted for. “Guess he really was an outlaw.” He grinned. “Everyone loves a bad-” His comment was cut short as sharp burst of pain exploded through his abdomen. He cried out in a combination of surprise and pain. His hands flew to his belly. The intensity of the pain was greater this time than it had been all day. “Ah!”

A man and his wife standing several feet away heard the teen's cries and looked around, a look of concern on their face. They spotted a very pregnant boy with a look of utter pain on his face.

“He looks awfully young to be having baby,” the wife commented. Having several children of her own, she knew instantly this kid was going into labor.

Her husband nodded in agreement. He walked over to the boy and placed a hand on Shuichi's lower back and the other on his belly, his wife right behind him. “Are you alright?” he asked in English.

Shuichi pursed his lips together and squeezed his eyes shut against the pain. He shook his head. “No,” he gasped in Japanese. “It hurts! Please, get Eiri,” he managed to gasp, pointing at Eiri across the room who had his back to him.

The stranger had taken a semester of Japanese in college years back in order to impress his then girlfriend, and recognized it immediately, but he was not able to understand much more than “no”. He followed the kid’s finger towards a blond haired guy wearing a pair of jeans, black boots, and a long black leather coat. “O…otoko,” he asked pointing to him.

As the pain subsided, Shuichi nodded. “Hai. He is my fiancé,” he told the man in heavily accented English. Shuichi breathed deeply.

The man's brows shot up in surprise. This kid not only was about to pop, but had a fiancé? Jeeze, could kids not just be kids these days? He looked at Shuichi's slender fingers and saw a silver ring on his left ring finger. Shaking away his astonishment, he motioned to his wife. “Here. Go with my wife. She'll take you somewhere where you can sit down.”

Shuichi inclined his head in appreciation, which was all he could muster the energy to do. “ _Domo arigato gozaimasu_.” (1)

“ _Doitashimashite._ ” (2)

Shuichi was greatly surprised by the man's ability to speak a foreign tongue without totally hacking it into something unrecognizable. “ _Watashi no namae wa Shindou Shuichi desu_.” (3)

The man nodded. “I’m John. This’s my wife, Charlaine,” he introduced. “And what's your fiancé's name?”

Shuichi opened his mouth to say, when the third wave appeared over the horizon. He could feel another contraction building up. He cradled his stomach and pursed his lips together. “Mmm! Eiri.”

“John,” Charlaine wife cried out.

John nodded and told his wife to take Shuichi to the nearest bench.

The woman walked Shuichi out of the exhibition room as other patrons whispered and pointed at the boy. They gathered around in curiosity, wondering what was going on. Meanwhile, John raced across the exhibition hall towards the tall blond haired man that Shuichi had pointed out.

“Hey, Mister! Eiri!”

Eiri turned at the sound of his name but did not recognize the voice. He spotted a man with salt and pepper hair and wearing a striped sweater that every teacher he had ever known had racing towards him. “Do I know you?” he asked the stranger without any hint of an accent.

John slowed to a halt. “Are you Eiri?”

Eiri glanced down at the man curiously. “I am,” he finally said.

“Do you know a boy named…Shindou…Shuichi?”

Eiri's eyes widened. His head snapped around. He glanced around the exhibition gallery frantically and could not see him anywhere. “Shuichi? Where-?”

“Don't worry, he's fine,” John tried to reassure the now frantic man. “He's with my wife, but I think he's going into labor.”

His golden hazel eyes wide in shock, Eiri stared back at the man in disbelief. In labor? As in Shuichi was going to have a baby? But…but that was…impossible! Shuichi was not due for another…! How…Oh, God. What was he supposed to? He was nowhere near ready for this! Eiri felt faint and suddenly uncertain.

John saw the confusion and indecision on the man's face and realized instantly that this was the man's first child. He snapped immediately into action. “Okay,” he said. “This way.” He placed a hand on Eiri's shoulder and ushered him out into the main area of the museum. “I'll take you to St. Margaret's. It's five minutes from here.”

Eiri nodded. He had heard of St. Margaret of Antioch Hospital. It was one of the first hospitals that specialized in the care of neutrals. It was said to be the best. He saw Shuichi instantly. The seventeen year old was sitting on a bench, breathing heavily with a look of intense pain on his face. Eiri's breath hitched and his heart beat rapidly. He rushed over to his fiancé. “Shuichi!”

Both Shuichi and the woman looked up at the sound of Eiri's voice.

“Eiri.” Shuichi breathed a sigh of relief as his contractions once again faded and at the sight of his fiancé.

“Shu.” Eiri hugged the boy tightly. “Are you okay?”

Shuichi nodded. “Fine,” he whispered.

The boy was lying. Eiri could feel him shaking like a leaf. He could not blame him for being scared. He was only seventeen and this was his first child. The kid had never been through this before and he was not sure what was going on or what was going to happen. All the birthing classes, books and videos in the world could not really prepare you for this moment. If he were in Shuichi's shoes, he would be shitting his pants.

“Okay,” came a female voice, interrupting his thoughts. “My husband went to bring the car around. Are you set?”

Shuichi nodded then shook his head. He was not sure what he was, but he dared not loosen his tight grip on Eiri.

The woman nodded in understanding. “I understand,” she told him. “I've been there several times.”

Shuichi glanced at her.

The woman patted the boy's hand in reassurance. “Everything will be fine. Don't worry.”

Shuichi nodded, but he still felt a little uncertain.

Eiri helped the boy to his feet and rewrapped his arms around him possessively. “She's right,” he whispered. “Everything’ll be okay.”

Shuichi dropped his head back and stared up at his boyfriend. A stray tear rolled down his cheek. He was so scared. He has never been so terrified in his entire life.

Eiri brushed away the droplet with his knuckle and smiled at him. “Come on. Let's go.”

Shuichi nodded and let the writer walk him out of the museum to John's car.

 

* * *

  
**Early The Next Morning -- St. Margaret of Antioch Hospital**

Eiri glanced at his watch. It was an hour before midnight here in New York. After a quick calculation in his head, he took one last drag off his cigarette, tossed it to the ground and crushed it out with the heel of his boot. Pulling out his cellphone, he speed dialed his brother-in-law's work number.

“Eir-”

“Shuichi went into labor,” Eiri said without any preamble, cutting off the man.

In his office on the other side of the planet, Tohma did not so much as a blink. “I had a feeling he would,” he blurted. “I noticed he was starting to have contractions before you left.”

Eiri's eyebrows shot up into his hair. “And…you didn't bother to say anything.”

“On the contrary, I believe I mentioned what a bad idea this trip was. If I'm not mistaken, everyone said as much.”

Eiri sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He squeezed his eyes shut against the threat of a looming headache. He was too tired to argue with the man. It had been a very long day and he was exhausted, not as much as Shuichi was, but he still felt as if he stayed on his feet for another second he would just collapse.

“So,” Tohma prodded, “are you going to tell me what happened or are you going to make me wait to find out in the morning paper?”

Eiri snorted. That was not such a bad idea. He was tempted to do just that. Eiri did not even bother to ask his brother-in-law how the media in Japan could possibly find out about his fiancé having a baby here in New York. There were spies everywhere. Not even the great General Seguchi--as everyone at NG Productions called him now--could suppress every leak.

“Takanori Uesugi, born at 3:48 pm, six pounds, two ounces.”

“How long was Shuichi in labor for?”

Eiri sighed. “Who knows? Shu claims he's been having contraction all damn day,” Eiri growled. “He nearly gave birth right there in the damn museum. Damn brat. I don't know what the hell he was thinking. He told me that he was determined to see that stupid ass exhibit before he went to the hospital.”

Tohma chuckled. That boy was truly something else.

“When I told him he could've gone after he was released from the hospital, he told me he hadn't even thought of that.”

Tohma burst out laughing. That sounded like Shuichi.

“Some guy and his wife from the museum drove us to St. Margaret's.”

“That's supposed to be a very good hospital.”

“Hmm. Shu's water broke in the guy's car on the way there. We got to St. Margaret's at about two-thirty and about an hour later, Takanori was born.”

“An hour?” Tohma stared wide eyed at his office door. “Are you serious?”

“What can I say? Baby Brat is just as impatient as his mother.”

Tohma chuckled.

“Anyway,” Eiri said, “are the papers ready?”

“Of course,” Tohma said leaning back in his chair. His laughter subsided. “I have them right here.” He picked up several sheets of paper. “All we need is for you to sign them and you'll officially be Takanori's father.”

“Thanks, Seguchi.”

Tohma blinked in surprise. “You're welcome. Give my love to Shuichi and the baby.”

“Sure. Oh, and could you-“

“I'll pass the word on.”

“Thanks.” Eiri was just about to hang up when he heard his brother-in-laws voice. “What,” he sighed heavily, bringing his cellphone back up to his ear.

“There's something I've been meaning to ask you for some time now.”

Eiri squinted his eyes, the wheels in his mind spinning. “Oh?”

“You see, Eiri,” the president began, his voice smooth, “I, myself, have never been involved with a neutral, but I did go to health class.”

“Yeah,” Eiri drawled. Where was he going with this? “And your point would be…?”

“My point is, Eiri, how could you not know that Shuichi was a neutral?”

Eiri's mind went blank. He started to say something several times, but he did not know what to say. All he could do was stare stupidly across the parking lot, but then his mind started to process the question and to his horror, he felt himself blushing.

“I mean, Eiri, there is a clear difference, is there not? Between a male and a neutral?”

His embarrassment vanished in the sudden flare of anger that burst through him. Eiri growled.

“Eiri-”

“When I met Shuichi, I thought he was a guy!” Eiri snapped heatedly. “And I don't know about you, Tohma, but when two guys want to have sex, one guy puts his-!”

In his office on the other side of the world, Tohma waved his hand frantically. “I get-” he started, interrupting the writer.

“And when you think you're partner is a guy you don't think to look or ask him if he's got an-!”

“I-”

“And I was too busy trying to fuck him to worry about something as stupid as, ‘Oh, by the way, Shuichi, tell me, do you happen to have an extra little something?' And if you'll excuse me, I have a son and soon-to-be husband to get to!”

Eiri flipped his phone closed, ending the call. He placed his phone back in his coat pocket. Leaning his head back, he stared up at the night sky, trying to calm his raging emotions. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, letting his chest rise and fall. His anger quickly faded and a smile graced his face. He felt happier and more alive than he had in a very long time. He had to admit, he felt as giddy as a schoolgirl. Opening his eyes, he shook his head in amusement. Turning on his heel, he marched back into the hospital and up to the maternity ward, a smile still on his face.

Eiri went to check on Shuichi. The boy was sound asleep. He looked exhausted, even in his sleep. Eiri decided to let him sleep and made his way to the nursery.

Shuichi would be made to go on a diet and start exercising so he could lose all the weight he gained during his pregnancy by the authorities at NG before Bad Luck's debut album was released this summer (the release had been postponed after Shuichi's pregnancy was announced). There was talk of a tour in the fall if the album did well enough (though, he was thinking of telling Shuichi to screw the tour this time around because of the baby). Knowing his brat, the kid was probably one of those few people who could shed the pounds just like that. He heard somewhere that happened to Celine Dion after she had her son. If not, Eiri knew exactly how Shuichi could lose those unnecessary pounds. He chuckled slyly.

Eiri turned the corner and found himself at the nursery. He stood in front of the glass window and became all choked up. His eyes filled with tears as he stared down at all the sleeping tiny bundles of joy. Somewhere in there was his son. Some of the babies were pudgy little things. Others were so small they seemed dwarfed in their cradles. At least half were wrapped in pink blankets, indicating girls, while the other half were split evenly between males, who were wrapped in blue blankets, and neutrals, who were wrapped in yellows. He found his son sound asleep right under the window in a blue blanket. The blanket and binki he was sucking on like there was no tomorrow, partially hide his face, but despite that, Eiri could tell that he looked exactly like Shuichi. It was like looking at a mini-Shuichi.

Takanori had a dark complexion, just like Shuichi. He had a head full of jet-black hair hidden under a cute little cap with baby Looney Tunes on it. His eyes were such a dark hazel they almost seemed black. Takanori also had Shuichi's round face, his big round eyes, tiny nose and big mouth, not to mention, his huge lung capacity. Damn was the kid loud. Eiri could see nothing of Aizawa on his son's face. Thank God for that.

His eyes roamed to the nametag on the side of the crib, “Uesugi, Takanori”, and a lone tear rolled down his face.

_“Hey,” Shuichi said late one night as he and his fiancé lay in bed. “Eiri?”_

_“Hm,” Eiri asked distracted. He was in the middle of reading a new release from one of his favorite authors._

_“Is it alright?”_

_Eiri's brow scrunched in confusion. Marking his place, he closed his book and set it on his chest. Sliding off his glasses off, he set them on top of his book. He turned to look at Shuichi. The kid was propped up by a mound of pillows, looking at the newest sonogram of the baby, or so the doctor said. He could see nothing but a bunch of black and white swirls. “What?”_

_“Seeing you're going to be adopting the baby, I was thinking I could, ya know, uhm…”_

_Eiri sighed. “You want to name the baby after Aizawa.”_

_Shuichi bit his lip and nodded, turning to look at Eiri with those large purple puppy dog eyes of his._

_Eiri groaned inwardly. Dammit, he thought. He hated it when Shuichi did that! It was totally impossible to resist. However, as he thought about it, it did not seem like a bad idea. From what he was able to learn about the guy, Aizawa had actually been trying to stop Shuichi from having that abortion when he drove past that day. Therefore, it was very possible that the guy would have made a major transformation knowing that he was going to be a father. Eiri moved his book and glasses to the bedside table and turned over on his side to face Shuichi. He laid a hand on the kids swelling stomach, rubbing small circles on his belly. “Okay,” Eiri sighed._

_Shuichi smiled wildly, showing brilliantly white teeth. “Really? Thank you, Eiri! I love you!”_

_“Yeah, well, just make sure he looks like you,” he said turning his back on the kid._

_Shuichi snorted and rolled his eyes. “Yes, sir. I'll get right on that.”_

Eiri jumped out of his thoughts and back into reality when he felt an arm snake it way through his. He looked down and saw Shuichi standing besides him. “Jesus fucking Christ, Shuichi,” he exclaimed, his heart in his throat. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

Shuichi laid his head on Eiri's arm. “Sorry, Eiri,” he giggled softly. “I didn't mean to scare you. I thought you heard me.”

“What are you doing up anyway? You should be resting.” He covered Shuichi's small hands with his free hand and rested his head on top of his.

“Don't know.” Shuichi stared down at his son and smiled. Guess Eiri's wish came true. Takanori looked exactly like him and nothing like Taki. He was not sure if that was a good thing, or a bad thing. “He's so puny,” he noticed

Eiri snorted. “He's not even eight hours old, Shu. Of course he's small.”

“Hmm.” Shuichi sighed happily, feeling tears in his eyes. That was his son, a human being that had been inside of him for the past thirty-seven weeks, a tiny, helpless baby that he was now responsible for, someone he brought into this world. He covered his mouth as he sobbed quietly, his vision blurring behind a veil of tears. “Hey,” Shuichi said his voice thick with tears. He sniffed, wiping his face on the back of his pajama top. “Eiri?”

“Hm.”

“When we get home?”

“Yeah?”

“Let's get married.”

“What?” Eiri blinked.

Shuichi pulled back enough so he could look up at his fiancé. “I want us to be a family.”

Eiri snorted. “We are a family, idiot. We don't need to be married for us to be one.”

Shuichi nodded. Tears still rolling silently down his face, he wrapped his arms around Eiri and laid his head on the man's chest, hearing his heart beating. “I know. I just…I don't know,” he sighed. He had no idea what he was trying to say.

Eiri tightened his hold on his fiancé. “I thought we agreed to slow things down and get to know one another,” he teased the boy.

“We did.”

Eiri raised an eyebrow at that. “Really?”

Shuichi nodded. “Yeah. It's been seven months.”

Eiri chuckled.

“So, is that a yes or a no?” Shuichi asked, breaking the silence.

“Idiot,” Eiri whispered. He placed a kiss on his fiancé's head. “I love you, Shuichi.”

“I know,” Shuichi smiled.

 

**…The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) Thank you  
> (2) You're welcome  
> (3) My name is Shuichi Shindou
> 
> A/N: Please forgive my Japanese if it's wrong. I don't speak it and haven't studied it. All the Japanese I know is from watching anime. 
> 
> The original prologue to this story was a short little story about Sara and Eric, of which you read portions of above. In this edited version, I removed it and rewrote it as a companion piece, which you can read in its entirety in part 2 of the I Want Us To Be A Family series.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I have to point out the Hermaphrodite (which I refer to as “Neutrals” in this story) in this series is nothing like the real life Hermaphrodite and is nothing like “hermaphrodite” Shuichi in the Building A Family series (who I refer to as a “Bearer”). In the Building A Family series, Shuichi isn’t actually a hermaphrodite as his ability to have children comes from his demon heritage (another trait of this heritage are his psychic dreams). The Neutrals in this series are a true third gender. There are male Neutrals (like Shuichi) and female neutrals.


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